Category Archives: Mark Sanford

Glenn Beck And Child Pornography? Who Knew?

Watching Glenn Beck’s mental stability deteriorate before our very eyes is like viewing the aftermath of a terrible car accident. It is disgusting and revolting yet somehow simultaneously compelling. The gore and stench is vomit-inducing, yet we continue to bear with it so that we can viscerally experience the full ugly scene. Nevertheless, when the carnage and debris is finally carted away, the spectacle is quickly forgotten and we resume our daily lives. Let’s hope that is the way that the Glenn Beck meltdown plays out. It will be best for America if Glenn Beck is remembered as a momentary disaster from which most of us emerged unscathed.

Fox News should someday be embarrassed by the fact that it marketed Glenn Beck as a serious voice in the realm of political discourse. This raving, crying man-baby should never have been offered the opportunity to broadcast his uber-conservative conspiracy theories to the nationwide masses without prefacing each show with one of those “The views and opinions of Glenn Beck should in no way be considered as representative of those of a sane person” disclaimers. After all, his college career lasted all of one course. Not one year or one semester mind you, ONE COURSE. If that were not enough to disqualify him from being considered a qualified news source, consider his multiple marriages and confessed drug and alcohol addiction as an indication of his lack of self control and commitment. Beck is also the guy who went on national television and reported that President Obama has “a deep-seated hatred for white people.” He is clearly unhinged and the “hatred for white people” comment initiated a massive and continuing advertiser boycott of his program.

During the last week, Beck’s witch-hunt has been directed at billionaire George Soros, the straw-man demon of all conservatives. Soros of course, is the Jewish Holocaust survivor,  businessman and notable philanthropist focused on supporting liberal ideals and causes. He played a significant role in the peaceful transition from communism to capitalism in Hungary and provided Europe’s largest-ever higher education endowment to Central European University in Budapest. In the United States, he is known for donating large sums of money in an effort to defeat President George W. Bush’s bid for re-election in 2004. He was an initial donor to the Center for American Progress, and he continues to support the organization through the Open Society Foundations. He contributes to such fact-checking and political myth debunking entities as MoveOn.org and MediaMatters.org.

By virtue of his philanthropy and liberal agenda, George Soros is considered a dangerous enemy by Fox News as a whole and Glenn Beck in particular. So how does Beck counter Soros? Easy, he does it by lying and twisting the laws of physics in such a way that he labels the Jewish Holocaust survivor as an anti-semitic Holocaust collaborator. Beck went so far as to suggest that Soros helped “send the Jews” to “death camps” during the Holocaust. Beck said that Soros had “to go and confiscate the property of your fellow Jews” during the Holocaust.

Becks blatantly false accusations against Soros led to widespread condemnation from prominent Jewish leaders and Holocaust survivors. Anti-Defamation League national director Abraham H. Foxman called the comments “completely inappropriate, offensive and over the top,” as well as “unacceptable” and “horrific.” Elan Steinberg, vice president of the the American Gathering of Jewish Holocaust Survivors and Their Descendants, called the Beck accusations “monstrous.” And Simon Greer, president of the Jewish Funds for Justice, said that Beck had “deliberately and grotesquely mischaracterize[d]” Soros’ experience and engaged in “a form of Holocaust revisionism.”

Truth be told, Soros was thirteen years old in March 1944 when Nazi Germany occupied Hungary. Soros worked for the Jewish Council, which had been established during the Nazi occupation of Hungary to forcibly carry out Nazi and Hungarian government anti-Jewish measures. Soros later described this time to writer Michael Lewis:

The Jewish Council asked the little kids to hand out the deportation notices. I was told to go to the Jewish Council. And there I was given these small slips of paper…It said report to the rabbi seminary at 9 a.m….And I was given this list of names. I took this piece of paper to my father. He instantly recognized it. This was a list of Hungarian Jewish lawyers. He said, “You deliver the slips of paper and tell the people that if they report they will be deported.”

In 1944, at age 14, Soros lived with and posed as the godson of an employee of the Hungarian Ministry of Agriculture. On one occasion, the official was ordered to inventory the remaining contents of the estate of a wealthy Jewish family that had fled the country. Rather than leave the young George alone in the city, the official brought him along. Soros was merely a young boy attempting to stay alive by hiding his identity. He never confiscated any property. He was merely a bystander on that one occasion.

When Glenn Beck finally realized what a firestorm of contempt he had ignited with his false accusations, he immediately went on the defensive. He concocted a brand new fictitious conspiracy in which he claims that he will be falsely accused of something of which he is not guilty (or is he?) as a means of liberal revenge. He said this on his radio program:

“I thought about this morning as I was saying my prayers this morning, and I was reading Psalms, I thought to myself, ‘I’m glad my children will always know the truth.’ And I thought of all the things they could possibly say—the greatest thing I have going for me is I have no lies in my life. I don’t have lies in my life. I— I— I—I—I’m—I pay my income tax. I—I—I pay my bills. I’m honest in all of my business dealings. I try to be a good guy. I’m not always a good guy. I try to be a good guy. I try to be a good parent. I—I don’t drink; I don’t take drugs. I—uhh—you know—I’m not—I’m not into ch—I’m not even into—I was going to say I’m not into child pornography. I’m not only not into child pornography, I’m not into pornography. So, no matter what you read about me—no matter what you read about me, umm, in the coming months, or whenever, that’s fine. I really—I mean—I can’t imagine what they’re gonna—but they have to say something. There has to be something fabricated about me. Has to be! You just can’t let this juggernaut go as we’re changing everything because I’m rolling dude heavy.”

Hey Glenn, just because you are paranoid does not mean that they are not out to get you! But jeesh, child pornography? What’s up with that? Sounds to us like maybe you are already setting up some sort of alibi. Why is it that with ultra-conservatives it always comes down to some sort of illicit sex scandal? You know, like “Diaper” Dave Vitter and his prostitutes, Larry “Loo” Craig and his foot tapping men’s room escapade, Mark Sanford “and Son” and his South of the Border soirees and Sarah Palin and her sex-targeted children just to name a few? But child pornography, Glenn? How low can you go?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Fool On The Hill song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KXrrh74wTs&feature=related

THE FOOL WHO KNOWS NIL

(sung to the Beatles song, “The Fool On The Hill”)

Day after day
He gives us a chill
Glenn Beck is crying again
Let’s watch his eyes start to fill

And nobody wants to know him
They can see that he’s just a fool
And he has not one good answer
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

George Soros stares him down
And Glenn’s face grows bright red
As his head spins around

Glenn’s head today,
Filled up with sound
Beck’s head hears a thousand voices
Screaming nonsense so loud

Everybody wants to jeer him
For the weeping that he does fake
Yet Glenn never seems to notice
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

He’s a dim-witted clown
In need of some strong meds
Beck’s off to crazy-town

(musical interlude)

And nobody seems to like him
It looks like he’s back on the booze
Or maybe he’s back drug dealing
Beck’s the fool who knows nil

He’s beginning to drown
And his sponsors have fled
Soon he’ll be not around

Oh, round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round
Nobody listens to him
They know that he’s a fool
They don’t like him
The fool who knows nil

He’s beginning to drown
And his sponsors have fled
Soon he’ll be not around

Oh, round, an’ round, an’ round, an’ round
Oh …

Palin’s Positively Putrid Political Pals

 

I Want You...To Join My Lunatic Fringe!

 

One always has to wonder about the wisdom (if any) of Sarah Palin. You will remember that the laughingly under-educated former half-term ex-quitting of Governor of Alaska was incapable of naming any newspapers or magazines that she currently reads; did not know what the “Bush Doctrine” was; did not know that South Africa was a country and thought that the bank bailout was “to help those that are concerned about health care reform”. She could not name a single Supreme Court case other than Roe v. Wade. She also invented “death panels” which were deemed the “biggest lie of 2009″ and believed that Vladimir Putin spent all his free time “rearing his head” in the “airspace of Alaska”. In simple terms, Sarah Palin has proven to be a moron.

Perhaps in an effort to redeem her public image, Sarah Palin has shied away from any substantive discussion of domestic or foreign  policy during the last year or so. Instead of potentially embarrassing herself yet again by revealing a true lack of knowledge, she has elected to spend her time endorsing Teapublican candidates for office. Her plan has failed. The radically nutty right-wing conservatives upon whom Palin has bestowed her blessing are as crazy or crazier than “Mama Grizzly”. Consider these examples.

Clint Didier: Teapublican candidate for a Washington U.S. Senate seat. Didier ran on a platform of opposing what he called “government handouts”. Apparently however he did not oppose government handouts to himself, as he received farm subsidies, for wheat and corn, [that] amounted to $103,888. Didier was defeated in the Republican primary election.

Nikki Haley: Haley is the Teapublican nominee in the South Carolina gubernatorial election. The State newspaper has raised questions about unethical behavior that led Haley to obtain an unwarranted $100,000 fundraising job and a further $42,000 from a state contractor while she was a state legislator. Before obtaining this income under questionable circumstances Haley’s personal financial situation was collapsing, with half of her family’s income paying off interest on her mortgage. After these revelations her poll numbers have decreased dramatically in recent polling. Much like the most recent Republican Governor of South Carolina, Mark Sanford, it has been alleged that Haley has had at least two extramarital affairs.

Carly Fiorina: Fiorina is the Republican nominee for a California U.S. Senate seat. She was formerly the disgraced CEO of Hewlett-Packard Company. She was forced to resign from the company after nearly driving it into the ground in 2005. In April 2009, the business magazine web site Condé Nast Portfolio listed Fiorina as one of “The 20 Worst American CEOs of All Time”. Fiorina is hoping to garner a lot of votes this November but The Los Angeles Times research of public records indicated Fiorina had failed to vote in most every election that she has been eligible to cast a vote. This week Fiorina publicly stated that she believes that Sarah Palin is qualified to be President of the United States. ‘Nuff said.

Sharron Angle: Angle is the 2010 Teapublican nominee for the U.S. Senate seat in Nevada currently held by Democrat Harry Reid. She wants to ban all abortions even in the case of rape, wants to privatize the Veterans’ Administration, wants to abolish the Social Security and Medicare programs, wants to outlaw the sale and consumption of alcohol and remove the fluoride from our water supply. Angle also says that if candidates like her are not elected this fall, the masses should resort to their “2nd Amendment remedies” (she advocates assassinations of public officials?). Last week Angle declared that Dearborn, Michigan and the non-existent town of Frankford, Texas are governed by Sharia law. Crazy enough for you? Oh, and she has another thing in common with Sarah Palin, pulling “n0 shows” at events in which she is scheduled to speak. The most recent example of this was just yesterday when Angle failed to appear at a health care conference in Las Vegas. Angle’s no-show status is noteworthy because the candidate keeps such a low profile on the trail. Press shy Angle has unabashedly rejected the tradition of submitting to a public vetting by the press corps – or rather, the non-partisan press. She regularly grants interviews to Fox News and conservative radio. When she spoke at a reception with conservative radio host Heidi Harris last weekend, it was supposed to be open to the press, but when local television stations showed up they were told they couldn’t cover it. Sharron Angle truly is a psycho-chicken.

Joe Miller: Miller is the Teapublican candidate for one of Alaska’s U.S. Senate seats. He believes that unemployment benefits are unconstitutional. He has not however, stated whether his wife is unconstitutional inasmuch as it was revealed last week that she actually accepted unemployment benefits after having worked as her husband’s clerk in 2002 when he was a federal magistrate. Miller is an another example of  “do as I say, not as I do”.

Rand Paul: Rand Paul is the Teapublican nominee for a Kentucky U.S. Senate seat. Paul believes that private business should once again be allowed to racially  discriminate in places of public accomodation such as lunch counters and hotels, and he wants so called “anchor babies” (children born in the US with parents not legally in the country) to be stripped of their US citizenship and deported. Paul has also said that Medicaid is a form of “intergenerational warfare”. What he has not admitted to however is that 50% of his medical practice’s income is in the form of Medicare and Medicaid payments.

Christine O’Donnell: We have saved the best (or worst, depending on how you look at it) for last. Oh, where to begin? O’Donnell of course, is the Teapublican candidate for Vice President Joe Biden’s former Delaware U.S. Senate seat. Well, first we learned of her call for a masturbation ban. Next, we learned that her campaign alleged that her Republican primary opponent, Mike Castle was gay. Then we learned that she had a college degree before she did not have a college degree before she finally received her college degree three weeks ago. That was followed by the revelation that she has been in debt for most of her adult life, failed to pay taxes and paid her personal expenses with campaign funds while she failed to pay wages to her campaign employees. All of that was followed by Bill Maher’s delicious video clips which show O’Donnell admitting that she “dabbled in witch-craft”, stating that she had a “date on a satanic alter”, proclaiming that “evolution is a myth” and most recently stating that she would have been a Hare Krishna but for the fact that she is “Italian and I love meatballs.” O’Donnell then claimed to have been privy to classified information that the Chinese plan to take-over America. Then, just yesterday while appearing as a guest with Greta Van Susteren on the Fox network, O’Donnell said, “Well, I hate to say it… I’ve stopped watching the news. I’ve stopped reading the news clips.” If that isn’t mimicking Sarah Palin to the tenth degree, then what is?

When one considers the craziness of these endorsements, it can only be assumed that Sarah Palin’s master plan is to make herself appear to be relatively mainstream by means of propelling these absolutely radical nutjobs into the public arena. Or, maybe Sarah Palin really believes in these candidates, and if that is the case, she is a confirmed lunatic.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Strangers In The Night song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDA33hGFNgQ&feature=related

STRANGE ONES ON THE RIGHT

(sung to the Frank Sinatra song “Strangers In The Night”)

Strange ones on the right,
What are their chances?
Not so very bright,
With our finances
This Tea Party love
Should be viewed as taboo

Palin shouting lies
And fear inciting
Rand Paul is hostile
And so damn frightening
Angle has no heart
O’Donnell has no clue

Strange ones on the right,
Abnormal people
They are strange ones on the right
Not one sane moment
They should be in a freak-show
Little do they know
It would just enhance our day
If like Bristol they’d dance away and –

On Fox every night,
They’re all together
Lovers on the right
In love forever
It’s an ugly sight
Those strange ones on the right

(witchcraft break)

Don’t look now just glance away
Here comes their idol Tom Delay

You can join their fight
And hang together
Only if you’re white
Birds of a feather
Taking their last flight
Those strange ones on the right

Sarah Palin, The Alleged Philanderer Endorses Nikki Haley, The Alleged Philanderer

My goodness, things just keep getting crazier and crazier regarding Alaska’s former ex-quitting Governor. In the last month alone, Sarah Palin has split with her own Republican Party by means of endorsing two G.O.P. disfavored Tea-Bagger candidates, one of whom has been exposed as a raving racist. She embarressed herself on Fox News’ Hannity program by showing that she had no idea who the candidates were in last week’s Pennsylvania elections. Ms. “Drill Baby, Drill” then made a fool of herself by alleging that it is the Democrats and not the Republicans that are in bed with Big Oil. And now she has endorsed a candidate that has allegedly been involved (like herself) in an adulterous affair. Sarah Palin is now officially as mainstream as a three dollar bill.

The educationally challenged Palin has endorsed Republican Nikki Haley in the South Carolina gubernatorial race. Problem is, Haley has been accused by a certain Will Folks of having had “an inappropriate physical relationship” with him. This is particularly humorous when one remembers that South Carolina’s present disgraced Governor, Republican Mark Sanford also had an illicit extra-marital affair. It also begs the question as to whether any Republican, either male or female, can keep their pants on long enough to serve a full term in office.

Of the endorsement, Palin posted this on her Facebook page:

When Nikki and I held her endorsement rally on the steps of the beautiful and historic South Carolina state house last month, I warned her and her family that she would be targeted because she’s a threat to a corrupt political machine, and she would be put through some hell. [D]on’t let some blogger make any accusation against your Nikki if the guy doesn’t even have the guts or the integrity to speak further on such a significant claim.

Hot on the heel of this week’s other revelation that Indiana Congressman Mark Souder has had to resign his seat as the result of an adulterous affair, let’s have a look at all those other philandering Republicans of late. Ronald Reagan, Newt Gingrich, John McCain, David Vitter, Mark Foley, Larry Craig, Rudolph Giuliani, Ted Haggard, Bob Allen, Glenn Murphy, Jr., John Ensign, Sarah Palin (maybe), Mark Sanford, Paul Stanley, Mike Duvall, Mark Souder… and now Nikki Haley.

Is it just me or does anyone else feel the need to take a shower after shaking the hand of a Republican?

Please be sure to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Brandy (You’re A Fine Girl) song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-tRXewCAmU

SARAH (YOU’RE A FINE GIRL)

(sung to the Looking Glass song “Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl)”)

(doo da in doo da da), (doo da in doo da da)

There’s a town not far from Bristol Bay
With strip malls, both near and far away
Lonely oil guys go the Wasilla way
And live in motor homes

And there’s a girl in this forlorn town
One time, she wore a pageant crown
They say “Sarah, please put that gun down”
She knows she’s just a punch-line

The oil guys say “Sarah, you’re a fine girl” (you’re a fine girl)
“What a good Prez you would be” (such a fine girl)
“Not here, but maybe somewhere overseas”
(doo da in doo da da), (doo da in doo da da)

Sarah, sports a beehive mane
And some rimless glasses but she has no brain
A locket that bears the name
Of the man that Sarah loves

He came on a winter’s day
On board his gas-powered sleigh
What he saw in her, Todd couldn’t say
Cuz he was drunk since he left home

The First Dude said “Sarah, you’re a fine girl” (you’re a fine girl)
“What a good wife you would be” (such a fine girl)
But it’s booze, snow-machining and pornos for me
(doo da in doo da da), (doo da in doo da da)

But Sarah looked into his eyes
And she took an inventory
She could feel something on him rise
Then she saw his morning glory
She said “To hell with abstinence!”, Lord, she jumped on that sad-sack
And before she could say “Stop!”, she had Track.
(doo da in doo da da), (doo da in doo da da)

Todd, had a loaded pistol
Sarah gave birth to a daughter,  Bristol
She too had an ac-ci-den-tal
And now you hear her say…

You hear her say “Mama, you’re a fine girl” (you’re a fine girl)
“Two peas in a pod aren’t we” (such a fine girl)
“But Ya Betcha we have a screwed-up family”
(doo da in doo da da), (doo da in doo da da)

“Sarah, you’re a fine girl” (you’re a fine girl)
[FADE]

“What a good Prez you would be” (such a fine girl)
“No not here, but maybe somewhere overseas”

Monday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 38

Just a few noteworthy news satellites that have been careening around the blogosphere this week…

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s edition of “Did Somebody Actually Vote For This Guy?” features Tea-Bagger favorite Rand Paul who won the Kentucky Republican Senate primary election last Tuesday. After his victory, not only did we learn that he is a racist that would like it to be legal for private businesses to discriminate, but then he defended BP and called President Obama “un-American” for his tough stance against the oil spill culprit. Let’s get this straight, it is un-American to hold a British foreign corporation liable for causing potentially the most devastating environmental disaster in US history and then trying to shift the blame elsewhere? Heck, then it must have been really, really, really un-American for the founding fathers to declare war on those same British merely for taxing our tea bags!

THIS JUST IN: This week’s edition of “Don’t let The Facts Get In The Way of A Good Story” features the “Turd Blossom” himself. Karl Rove, former President George Bush’s top adviser, while hawking his new book this week, declared that Bush “never allowed” staffers to call their opposition “disparaging labels,” or “question their motives“. His words…

President Bush, for example, never allowed a White House staffer or administration spokesman to go out and do what this administration and our predecessor routinely did — that is to engage in calling the leaders of the opposition party disparaging labels and question their motives.

Oh really Karl? How about in your 2007 speech when you directly challenged the “motives” of your political opponents when you implied that Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL) intentionally used rhetoric that would endanger American soldiers? You said,

Let me just put this in fairly simple terms: Al Jazeera now broadcasts the words of Senator Durbin to the mideast, certainly putting our troops in greater danger. No more needs to be said about the motives of liberals.

Or how about when you questioned the patriotism of candidate Barack Obama for not wearing a flag pin when neither were you? Rove, you are a putz!

BREAKING NEWS: The good news of the week is that the Gulf Oil spill may be only 19 times greater than what BP originally told us.

THIS JUST IN: When moonbat crazy Republican Senator Michele Bachmann of Minnesota says, “No New Taxes” she means it. It was revealed this week that Bachmann “The Birther” has neglected to pay the property taxes owed on her million dollar home.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s edition of “Your MySpace Page Said What?” features former Rand Paul campaign spokesperson Chris Hightower who’s MySpace page in 2008 said “Happy Nig_ _ r Day!!!” and featured a photo of a hanging man. Don’t believe me?

‘Nuff said about Rand Paul and friends.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s edition of “Meet The Press” features Tea-Party darling and Republican nominee for Kentucky’s US Senate seat, Rand Paul. Oops, wait a second…what’s that? Rand Paul has just canceled his scheduled appearance on Meet The Press this morning? Why would he do that? Isn’t this the honeymoon period after his election victory on Tuesday?

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s edition of “Oops, I Did It Again” features Indiana’s conservative Congressman Mark Souder who resigned this week after it was revealed that he has been carrying on an extramarital affair with a staff member. We thought that type of behavior was mandatory to be a member of the Republican Party. Let’s look at our ever growing list of philandering Republicans:

Ronald Reagan, Newt Gingrich, John McCain, David Vitter, Mark Foley, Larry Craig, Rudolph Giuliani, Ted Haggard, Bob Allen, Glenn Murphy, Jr., John Ensign, Sarah Palin (maybe), Mark Sanford, Paul Stanley, Mike Duvall and now…Mark Souder.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Addams Family television theme  song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVRX_5tGOlo&feature=related

THE HORNY G.O.P.

(sung to the television theme song “The Addams Family”)

They’re creepy and they’re horny
Their dialect is corny
Morality is phony
The shady G.O.P.

If you’re in a museum
It’s real easy to see ‘em
With pants down to their knees’m
The dodgy G.O.P.

(Cheat)
(Beat)
(Their meat)

They always get their ball on
And that’s the sword they fall on
Another gal to crawl on
The horny G.O.P.


Today Is Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off’s First Birthday!!!

What began as a fun little pastime has blossomed into a year’s worth of blogging. In December of 2008 yours truly was recovering from knee surgery and as a means to fight the boredom of the passive motion machine, I  started perusing the comment sections of various blogs that I happened upon. Soon thereafter, I too began leaving comments of a political nature. Then, to have some fun, I began to post a few political song parodies based upon 1960′s and 1970′s television theme songs. Eventually I began to spend most of my time on a blog known as The Mudflats because I enjoyed the numerous posts about Sarah Palin.

By the early Spring  my comments were solely of the musical kind. To be honest however, my frequent postings seemed to annoy a number of The Mudflats‘ readers who desired more prose than poems. At that point the Mudflats‘ administrator suggested that I start a blog of my own (probably to get rid of me). The idea sounded great but impossible for this computer challenged scribe. I did not even know what the word blog meant (by the way, I still don’t). Thankfully, the friendly neighborhood Mudflats administrator held my hand and walked me through the process of creating what you are reading today. I remain forever thankful.

Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off debuted on May 13, 2009. Nobody noticed. Little by little however, the readership increased. the increasing traffic encouraged me to carry on. The task was made easier by Sarah Palin’s ever escalating shenanigans over last Summer and Fall. Palin and her crazy family were simply spoon-feeding material to comment upon. In fact, she provided so much material that I ran out of television theme songs. Consequently, I was forced to venture into the world of popular music for the song parodies. Although the pop music world seemed to unveil a limitless number of songs it also made the task of parody more difficult. You see, pop songs are a lot longer and have way more lyrics than television theme songs. Somehow we persevered and here we are today celebrating our first birthday.

I thank each and every one of you for stopping by over the last 12 months. I would especially like to thank those that leave a comment now and again. Those comments provide a sense of worthiness as well as new material for later posts. Once again, I thank all of you.

Today’s song parody is autobiographical in nature and explains the purpose of this blog.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

I Write The Songs song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-fev20voMc

I WRITE THE SONGS

(sung to the Barry Manilow song “I Write The Songs”)

I sling the jive whenever,
I sit down and scribble a song
I put the words and Republicans together
I love music,
And I love these songs

I write the songs that I hope you folks sing
I write the songs to dethrone G.O.P. kings
I write the songs that expose all their lies
I write the songs, I write the songs

I’m from a state that’s deep blue,
And we make a damned good lobster roll
No, there aren’t many right wing guys
There’s some but then, all of them are very old

I write the songs that attack the right wing
I write the songs that I hope linger and sting
I write the songs that prompt Glenn Beck to cry
I write the songs, I write the songs

Oh, I’ll take a hostile stance
When Limbaugh begins to rave and rant
And I’ll lead you to a poll, he can’t disprove
Palin has no heart,
So, I will tear her life apart
Hannity, Coulter too,
Also, too, O’Reilly
None of them can hide from me !!!

I write the songs about Mark Sanford’s flings
I write the songs about Larry Craig’s stings
I write the songs about Mark Foley’s guys
I write the songs, I write the songs

I write the songs about Joe Wilson’s slings
I write the songs of Vitter’s diapery things
I write the songs about all of those guys
I write the songs, I write the songs

I love music, so I write these songs


Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 30

Just a few newsworthy meteorites that have come careening through the atmosphere this week…

BREAKING NEWS: A Massachusetts politician has once again become a flashpoint in the health care reform debate. Surprisingly it is not the nudist Republican Senator Scott Brown. This time it is House Democrat Stephen Lynch. He has declared that he will vote “no” on the health care reform bill. In doing so, he will be the only one of ten Massachusetts Representatives that will not vote for passage of the bill. Consequently, he has just become the darling of Boston’s conservative talk radio pundits. He has been an invited guest on most all of their shows this week and the hosts are simply giddy that a Massachusetts Democrat is joining all Republicans in rejecting the bill. Lynch has become such a fan favorite of the conservatives that they are urging him to run for the Senate against longtime incumbent John Kerry. The right wing talk jocks are touting a potential conservative revolution in the bluest of blue states. Problem is, the Boston radio hosts have missed Lynch’s point entirely. Lynch is voting “no” because he does not believe that the bill is LIBERAL enough. He opposes the present bill because it lacks a public option as well as a repeal of the anti-trust exemption for the health insurance companies. If Lynch decides to run for the Senate in 2012 it will not be a race against John Kerry. He will run against the newly elected clothing challenged Republican Scott Brown.

THIS JUST IN: Kudos to Florida’s Democratic Representative Alcee Hastings for telling it like it is. On Saturday he told Republicans, “You all in the minority continue to say what the American people think. You don’t know what all of the American people think. And you certainly don’t know what those in my constituency think.Let ‘em have it Alcee.

BREAKING NEWS: If you want to witness the stupidity of the Tea-Baggers, watch this.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Fox News Phonies Behaving Badly” features Sean Hannity. To add insult to injury, Hannity has been outed by a right wing blogger. Last Thursday Debbie Schlussel posted an article on her blog that reveals that Sean Hannity’s charities which were intended to benefit injured soldiers and their children have actually benefited Hannity and his family to a far larger degree. The article states:

For the last several years, Sean Hannity and the Freedom Alliance “charity” have conducted “Freedom Concerts” across America. They’ve told you that they are raising money to pay for the college tuition of the children of fallen soldiers and to pay severely wounded war vets. In fact, less than 20%–and in two recent years, less than 7% and 4%, respectively–of the money raised by Freedom Alliance went to these causes, while millions of dollars went to expenses, including consultants and apparently to ferry the Hannity posse of family and friends in high style. And, despite Hannity’s statements to the contrary on his nationally syndicated radio show, few of the children of fallen soldiers got more than $1,000-$2,000, with apparently none getting more than $6,000, while Freedom Alliance appears to have spent tens of thousands of dollars for private planes.  Moreover, despite written assurances to donors that all money raised would go directly to scholarships for kids of the fallen heroes and not to expenses, has begun charging expenses of nearly $500,000 to give out just over $800,000 in scholarships.

For the text of the full article, click here http://www.debbieschlussel.com/6938/sean-hannitys-freedom-concert-scam-only-7-of-charitys-money-went-to-injured-troops-kids-of-fallen-troops-g5s-g6s-for-vannity/

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Republicans Using Taxpayer Money For Their Personal Benefit” features South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford. The Washington Post reports that the wife cheating one time G.O.P. presidential hopeful,

has agreed to pay $74,000 in fines to resolve dozens of charges that he violated state ethics laws with his campaign spending and travel, including a taxpayer-funded rendezvous with his Argentine mistress

Just another example of Republican pols profiting from the stupidity of their supporters.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “The Biggest Republican Loser” features the former ex-quitting Governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin. It appears that the poorly educated Palin will star in a cable television reality series tentatively titled, Sarah Palin’s Alaska. She is seeking payment in the amount of One Million to One and a Half Million Dollars per episode. Each week Palin will make surprise visits to places in Alaska where she has never been like the Governor’s Mansion and Juneau.

On a more serious note, please cross your fingers for the passage of the Health Care Reform Bill today in the House of Representatives.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Dear Mr. Fantasy song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxVlN-LzIks

DEAR, MR. HANNITY

(sung to the Traffic song “Dear, Mr. Fantasy”)

Dear, Mr. Hannity you are a goon
Some even say you are daffy
Your nightly show is just like a cartoon
Hit that bong, chug that jar
Getting happy
You are the one that just makes us all laugh
Unlike Glenn Beck, you don’t go to tears
You should be sad that you do not have your gonads
You could face waterboarding fears

Oooo Ahhhhh
Oooo Ahhhhh
Oooo Ahhhhh
Oooo Ahhhhh Ahhhhh

Dear Mr. Hannity you’re no Brit Hume
Although, he too is unhappy
Insanity prevails throughout Fox News
Always wrong, that you are
Oh so crappy
Yeah, yeah

(musical interlude)

Dear Mr. Hannity  go back to your room
That would just make us all happy
Do anything, take us out of our gloom
Sing a song, play guitar
Make it snappy
We all just watch you to have a good laugh
We haven’t laughed so hard in ten years
You are one sad excuse for a real college grad
Just like all of your poor Fox News peers

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea)-Christmas Edition-1

The Twelve Days of Christmas Song Parodies continues…

These are a few noteworthy news stories that have been orbiting the stratosphere this week.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s edition of, “It Makes Your Head Spin Like Linda Blair’s” features Sarah Palin. It was just announced that the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska will appear as a paid guest speaker at a fund raiser for a pair of Canadian “Socialized Medicine” hospitals. Huh? The Anchorage Daily News reports, “Sarah Palin has been booked for an April speaking engagement at a fundraiser for two Hamilton, Ontario, hospitals that, Think Progress reminds us, are part of Canada’s abortion-providing, single-payer health care system and offer the type of end-of-life counseling that Palin has attributed to death panels.”

THIS JUST IN: In other Sarah Palin related news we have a new tidbit from her once and future son-in-law Levi Johnston. Johnston’s manager, Tank Johnson called into a talk radio show on December 11th and said that his client plans to reveal startling incriminating information about Sarah Palin that will shock the nation. The details will be included in a book that Johnston plans to release in March 2010. Hey Sarah, beware the Ides of March. Will there be a matching book-hawking cross-country bus/jet tour also? Enquiring minds want to know.

BREAKING NEWS: In this week’s edition of “The Continuing Story of Tea-Bagger Lunacy” we have the group’s December 15th demonstration plans. Rather than describe it to you, here is a portion of the official release:

So here’s the plan. On Tuesday, December 15 at 8:45 AM thousands of us will meet in Washington, DC at the fountain in Upper Senate Park. From there we will march to the Senate offices, go inside, and demonstrate our opposition to the government takeover of health care. We call this plan “Government Waiting Rooms”. The intention is to go inside the Senate offices and hallways, and play out the role of patients waiting for treatment in government controlled medical facilities. As the day goes on some of us will pretend to die from our untreated illnesses and collapse on the floor. Many of us plan to stay there until they force us to leave. A backup location for this demonstration will be announced if they block us from entering the offices.

Government controlled medical facilities? Dying while waiting for treatment? Do these sophomoric morons realize that the more they exaggerate their false claims about health care reform, they more the rest of the nation ignores them?

THIS JUST IN: Jon Stewart of Comedy Central’s The Daily Show exposed a Glenn Beck conflict of interest this week. Stewart pointed out that Beck constantly advises his television and radio audience to buy gold as a safeguard against the collapse of the U.S. Dollar which will result from the Obama Administration’s policies. Indeed, Beck has said the following:

When the system eventually collapses, and the government comes with guns and confiscates, you know, everything in your home and all your possessions, and then you fight off the raving mad cannibalistic crowds that Ted Turner talked about, don’t come crying to me. I told you: get gold.

The sheer lunacy of that statement aside, Stewart revealed however, that Beck failed to disclose to his audience that he is a paid spokesman for Goldline International, a precious metals vendor. Why is it that Comedy Central does a better job of investigative journalism than the major networks? ABC, NBC, CBS and NPR should be ashamed of themselves.

BREAKING NEWS: Kudos to the television drama series Law and Order; Special Victims Unit for their honest no holds barred description of conservative right-wing pundits. in a recent episode, a character on the show said this:

Garrison, Limbaugh, Beck, O’Reilly, all of them. They are like a cancer spreading ignorance and hate. They have convinced folks that immigrants are the problem, not corporations that failed to pay a living wage, or a broken health care system.

THIS JUST IN: The Moonie-owned Washington Times has announced that it is cutting its work force by 40% and beginning free distribution of its product. The right-wing propaganda paper is so bereft of reliable news coverage that its circulation will most likely fall even further now that the paper is free. This is so because when its  few remaining paid subscribers realize that they no longer need to feel obligated to read the rag, they probably will forget that it ever existed.

BREAKING NEWS: In this week’s episode of “What The Heck Took So Long?” Jenny Sanford, the wife of South Carolina’s adulterous governor Mark Sanford, has announced that she is filing for divorce. She has been unable to successfully locate and serve divorce papers upon her husband however, because his staff believes that he is hiking somewhere on the Appalachian trail.

THIS JUST IN: In this week’s episode of “How Appropriate” we have Sarah Palin accepting an invitation to be keynote speaker at the Bowling Proprietors Association of America convention in Las Vegas next summer. Hmm, where to begin? Maybe she will bring a few spare copies of her book. Perhaps some of her supporters will have the chance to strike up a conversation with the unemployed social networker. Will Sarah be capable of keeping her language out of the gutter? Stay tuned.

BREAKING NEWS: Joke of the day. Why did Sarah Palin have a book signing in Sandpoint? Idaho, Alaska !!!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

My Favorite Things song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0KHb_xCHTI&feature=related

MY LEAST FAVORITE THINGS

(sung to the Julie Andrews song “My Favorite Things”)

Mike is called “Moses” and Romney’s called “Mittens”
Jindal is running but can’t raise a pittance
All of those candidates want to be kings
They are some of my least favorite things

Most of them phonies with brains made of noodles
Palin’s hairstyle reminds me of a poodle’s
The G.O.P. is filled with ding-a-lings
They are some of my least favorite things

Palin will bless us with winks of her lashes
Gingrich and Rudy just sit on their asses
Huckabee’s so holy he thinks he has wings
They are some of my least favorite things

“No civil rights”,
Pawlenty sings
He is raving mad
And when Michele Bachmann speaks aloud it stings
Yes that hurts my ears real bad

They are just posers so I say, “Good riddance”
Remind me of the inbred guy in “Deliverance”
All of them have extramarital flings
They are some of my least favorite things

They have no taste just like a bland egg noodle
They should be thrown out with the kit and caboodle
All of them acting like puppets on strings
They are some of my least favorite things

G.O.P. women have life-long hot flashes
The Grand Old Party is reduced to ashes
They cannot tolerate arrows or slings
They are some of my least favorite things

They’re not bright lights
Mental weaklings
Poor behaving cads
I wish they’d all congregate down in Palm Springs
And then I would be so glad.

The Rise (Get It…”RISE”) And Fall Of Mark Sanford

Only a short while ago South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford’s career was on the rise. He was an upcoming conservative star within the Republican Party with presidential aspirations. Something else was also on the rise however (wink, wink, nudge, nudge, know what I mean?), and that is what triggered Sanford’s sordid fall from power.

The saga began when Sanford mysteriously disappeared for six days and neither his family nor his staff had any idea as to his whereabouts. The ever pesky main stream media caught on to the case of the missing governor which prompted his staff to make up a story that Sanford needed to clear his head by means of hiking the Appalachian Trail.

That fabrication unraveled, however when an unidentified South Carolina law enforcement official informed CNN that Sanford’s vehicle had been parked at the airport for several days. Next, airport officials confirmed that Sanford had just re-entered the United States from Argentina.  Finally, we learned  that Sanford had  been borrowing law enforcement vehicles in the middle of the night for sojourns to parts unknown. In an effort to diminish the impact of the story that the press was about to release, Sanford held a preemptive tear filled press conference in which he admitted to having had a long-term affair with an Argentinian mistress. The confession was quickly followed by the release of the transcripts of a series of mushy emails between the couple which were worthy of the prose found in cheap dime-store romance novels. The state and national Republican Party called for him to resign his governorship but Sanford next claimed that he had spoken to God himself and was instructed to retain the position just as King David continued to rule subsequent to his adulterous affair.

Sanford’s refusal to resign prompted the South Carolina legislature to commence impeachment proceedings against him. The grounds for impeachment were that Sanford wrongfully left the state to meet his mistress in Argentina without informing his staff of his whereabouts and without installing a proper chain of command. A special House subcommittee met this week to consider the impeachment resolution for the first time. But last Tuesday, it was revealed that Sanford faces even more trouble.

CNN reports that the South Carolina Ethics Commission has now charged Sanford with 37 counts of ethics law violations following a three month investigation of Sanford’s use of taxpayer money. CNN.com states,

Sanford is accused of using tax money to buy business-class airfare on domestic and international flights, flying on a state-owned aircraft to political gatherings or events “which involved no official business,” and spending campaign funds for personal use such as buying a ticket to attend President Obama’s inauguration in January.

South Carolina law requires state officials to buy the lowest fares available for flights, and bars the use of state aircraft for personal use.

It appears that Mark Sanford’s days of wine and roses have come to a bitter end. But really, is anybody surprised that another dirty Republican has been exposed?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Oh, Boy song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9sg9XI7bYrA&feature=related

PO’ BOY

(sung to the Buddy Holly song “Oh, Boy”)

All of Mark’s love
All of his kissin’
Big romance while Sanford was missin’
Po’ boy, adultery
Po’ boy, the world can see
Sanford must leave his seat

All of Mark’s life
He been a waitin’
Preachin’ them politics of a-hatin’
Po’ boy, down in S.C.
Po’ boy, now he can see
No more Presidency

Lots of tears from eyes that are ballin’
Credibility is a fallin’
A little bit a-lovin’ makes everything right
Mark’s sure to call Evita tonight

All of Mark’s love
All of his kissin’
Big romance while Sanford was missin’
Po’ boy, adultery
Po’ boy, the world can see
Sanford must leave his seat

Dumb-dee-dumb-dumb
Po’ boy
Dumb-dee-dumb-dumb
Po’ boy

(musical interlude)

All of Mark’s love
All of his kissin’
We love it when Sanford goes missin’
Po’ boy, adultery
Po’ boy, the world can see
Sanford’s sheer lunacy

Sanford’s good wife
Won’t be a matin’
Mark might take to Larry Craig’n
Po’ boy, K-Y Jelly
Po’ boy, watchin’ telly
Sanford will be lonely

Scars appeared and his future is fallin’
He can hear Fox News a callin’
A little elbow rubbin’ makes everything right
Mark’s gonna be on Glenn Beck tonight

All of Mark’s love
All of his kissin’
We’re laughin’ so hard that we’re pissin’
Po’ boy, laugh till we pee
Po, boy, the world can see
There’s no more G.O.P.

Sarah Palin Book Tour = “Signing and Whining”

Cartoon-Palin-Goin-Rogue

The Going Rogue book tour should be titled Going Rural. Sarah Palin the criticism-challenged former ex-quitting governor of Alaska is taking no chances while hawking her ghostwritten tome this month. In an attempt to avoid any negative comment she has chosen to avoid  book signings in most every large city or part of the nation that might be considered Democratic, liberal or progressive. This action should not indicate that she is a coward however, because she has elected to subject herself to hard-hitting televised interviews with almost every single Fox Network host that she could find including Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly, Sean Hannity and Greta Van Susteren. As always, Palin is once again proving herself to be a real “mavericky” risk taker.

This leads us to today’s song parody which describes Palin’s “Signing and Whining Tour” along with the tune to Jimmy Buffett’s upbeat Volcano. In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below so as to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody. Please be patient with the song link as it takes a little bit of time to load and start playing.

Volcano song link: http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/song/Volcano/1030500

GOING ROGUE

(sung to the Jimmy Buffett song “Volcano”)

(Chorus)
Now I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When she hawks Going Rogue

Let me say now,

I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When she goes on book tour

She might visit Tennessee
They sure love the G.O.P.
Maybe next South Caroline
Sanford loves a nice behind

Let me hear ya now

I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When she hawks Going Rogue

Now Sarah she did say to me
She will not visit Philly
Politics there, much too hot
I said, “How about Boston”, she answered back, “Not”

Let me say now, I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When she hawks Going Rogue

Mr. Wooten!
(musical interlude)

She wants to see what she’s worth
And face no questions of Trig’s birth
She must go where folks are dumb
She knows right where they are from

Now I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When she hawks Going Rogue

One more now, I don’t know
(she don’t know)
I don’t know (she don’t know mon)
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When she hawks Going Rogue

She cannot mingle
In New York City
Baltimore and/or
Buffalo (no no no)
Don’t want to land in no
Blue Rhode Island
They will tell her just where to go (ho ho ho)

Don’t want to land in
No San Francisco
Or up in Detroit City (no no no)
Don’t want to land in
Massachusetts
That’s Kennedy territory (no no no)

She will be panned
While in Chicago
She is no fan
Of Ms. Winfrey (no no no)
She’s better off in Mississippi
Folks down there can barely read

I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When she hawks Going Rogue

Just one more, I don’t know
(she don’t know)
I don’t know
(she don’t know, man)
I don’t know where Sarah gonna go
When when she hawks Going Rogue!

Lynnrockets vs. Republicans

A young Lynnrockets at Nixon fundraiser in Boston.

A young Lynnrockets at Nixon fundraiser in Boston.

OK folks, I have had enough. The Republican Party and its right wing supporters on talk radio and on television’s Fox News have driven me over the edge. Oh, and do not allow me to downplay the role of their supporters, you know, the bat-crazy, racist, homophobic tea-baggers. The whole bunch of rock throwing glass house dwellers deserve a big giant dose of liberal backlash. So let’s give it to them.

The straw that finally broke this camel’s back is the recent opposition to the Obama administration’s attempts to secure Chicago as the site of the 2016 Summer Olympics. The point is now moot in that, as of today, the International Olympic Committee eliminated Chicago and Tokyo. Nevertheless the opposition by the likes of Hannity, Beck and Limbaugh was not only without merit, it was also without reasoned aforethought. To argue that the President has bigger things on his plate than to concern himself with having our nation host the Olympic games is a simple red herring of an argument. Didn’t Republican President Eisenhower have an overseas war to contend with while simultaneously pitching Lake Placid as the site of the 1960 Olympics? Also, since when does the job creation, foreign investment, exciting sporting events and all around goodwill promoted by these games cause harm to the hosting nation which becomes a world showcase for some two weeks?

Finally, where was all the right wing outrage when this letter was penned by former President George W. Bush?

President Bush Meets with Chicago 2016 Bid Committee and United States Olympic Committee Members
Union League Club of Chicago
Chicago, Illinois

// Video (Windows) <a href=”/news/releases/2008/01/20080107-3.wm.v.html” Play Videomce_href=”/news/releases/2008/01/20080107-3.wm.v.html”>/news/releases/2008/01/20080107-3.wm.v.html</a>
RSS Feed Presidential Remarks
Play Audio Audio

11:35 A.M. CST

THE PRESIDENT: I want to thank the members of the 2016 Chicago bid to get the Olympics. Listen, Mr. Mayor, you and your committee have put together a great plan. It’s a plan that will make America proud.

They say that the Olympics will come to Chicago if we’re fortunate enough to be selected, but really it’s coming to America, and I can’t think of a better city to represent the United States than Chicago.
President George W. Bush and Chicago Mayor Richard Daley hold up a T-shirt touting Chicago 2016, during a meeting Monday, Jan. 7, 2008, with with members of the Chicago 2016 Bid Committee and the U.S. Olympic Committee. Said the President, "This country supports your bid, strongly. And our hope is that the judges will take a good look at Chicago and select Chicago for the 2016 Olympics." White House photo by Joyce N. Boghosian This is a well thought out venue. There will be — the athletes will be taken care of. People who will be coming from around the world will find this good city has got fantastic accommodations, great restaurants. It will be safe.

And so I — this country supports your bid, strongly. And our hope is that the judges will take a good look at Chicago and select Chicago for the 2016 Olympics.

Thank you all.

END 11:36 A.M. CST

Hypocrites, one and all. The Olympic opposition proves beyond doubt that these morons are not interested in national pride. They are merely interested in returning to power for power’s sake and they hope to do so by opposing every single decision of the Obama administration regardless of its merits. It is this type of behavior that prodded me to declare war on the right wing. Without the two-faced behavior of the Republicans and their ilk, I may never have decided to start this blog. But start it, I did, and this next song parody sums up who I am and what my mission is. Will anyone join me?

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with this very autobiographical song parody.

I Write The Songs song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-fev20voMc

I WRITE THE SONGS

(sung to the Barry Manilow song “I Write The Songs”)

I sling the jive whenever,
I sit down and scribble a song
I put the words and Republicans together
I love music,
And I love these songs

I write the songs that I hope you folks sing
I write the songs to dethrone G.O.P. kings
I write the songs that expose all their lies
I write the songs, I write the songs

I’m from a state that’s deep blue,
And we make a damned good lobster roll
No, there aren’t many right wing guys
There’s some but then, all of them are very old

I write the songs that attack the right wing
I write the songs that I hope linger and sting
I write the songs that prompt Glenn Beck to cry
I write the songs, I write the songs

Oh, I’ll take a hostile stance
When Limbaugh begins to rave and rant
And I’ll lead you to a poll, he can’t disprove
Palin has no heart,
So, I will tear her life apart
Hannity, Coulter too,
Also, too, O’Reilly
None of them can hide from me !!!

I write the songs about Mark Sanford’s flings
I write the songs about Larry Craig’s stings
I write the songs about Mark Foley’s guys
I write the songs, I write the songs

I write the songs about Joe Wilson’s slings
I write the songs of Vitter’s diapery things
I write the songs about all of those guys
I write the songs, I write the songs

I love music, so I write these songs

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