Category Archives: Mark Foley

Sarah Palin, The Alleged Philanderer Endorses Nikki Haley, The Alleged Philanderer

My goodness, things just keep getting crazier and crazier regarding Alaska’s former ex-quitting Governor. In the last month alone, Sarah Palin has split with her own Republican Party by means of endorsing two G.O.P. disfavored Tea-Bagger candidates, one of whom has been exposed as a raving racist. She embarressed herself on Fox News’ Hannity program by showing that she had no idea who the candidates were in last week’s Pennsylvania elections. Ms. “Drill Baby, Drill” then made a fool of herself by alleging that it is the Democrats and not the Republicans that are in bed with Big Oil. And now she has endorsed a candidate that has allegedly been involved (like herself) in an adulterous affair. Sarah Palin is now officially as mainstream as a three dollar bill.

The educationally challenged Palin has endorsed Republican Nikki Haley in the South Carolina gubernatorial race. Problem is, Haley has been accused by a certain Will Folks of having had “an inappropriate physical relationship” with him. This is particularly humorous when one remembers that South Carolina’s present disgraced Governor, Republican Mark Sanford also had an illicit extra-marital affair. It also begs the question as to whether any Republican, either male or female, can keep their pants on long enough to serve a full term in office.

Of the endorsement, Palin posted this on her Facebook page:

When Nikki and I held her endorsement rally on the steps of the beautiful and historic South Carolina state house last month, I warned her and her family that she would be targeted because she’s a threat to a corrupt political machine, and she would be put through some hell. [D]on’t let some blogger make any accusation against your Nikki if the guy doesn’t even have the guts or the integrity to speak further on such a significant claim.

Hot on the heel of this week’s other revelation that Indiana Congressman Mark Souder has had to resign his seat as the result of an adulterous affair, let’s have a look at all those other philandering Republicans of late. Ronald Reagan, Newt Gingrich, John McCain, David Vitter, Mark Foley, Larry Craig, Rudolph Giuliani, Ted Haggard, Bob Allen, Glenn Murphy, Jr., John Ensign, Sarah Palin (maybe), Mark Sanford, Paul Stanley, Mike Duvall, Mark Souder… and now Nikki Haley.

Is it just me or does anyone else feel the need to take a shower after shaking the hand of a Republican?

Please be sure to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Brandy (You’re A Fine Girl) song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-tRXewCAmU

SARAH (YOU’RE A FINE GIRL)

(sung to the Looking Glass song “Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl)”)

(doo da in doo da da), (doo da in doo da da)

There’s a town not far from Bristol Bay
With strip malls, both near and far away
Lonely oil guys go the Wasilla way
And live in motor homes

And there’s a girl in this forlorn town
One time, she wore a pageant crown
They say “Sarah, please put that gun down”
She knows she’s just a punch-line

The oil guys say “Sarah, you’re a fine girl” (you’re a fine girl)
“What a good Prez you would be” (such a fine girl)
“Not here, but maybe somewhere overseas”
(doo da in doo da da), (doo da in doo da da)

Sarah, sports a beehive mane
And some rimless glasses but she has no brain
A locket that bears the name
Of the man that Sarah loves

He came on a winter’s day
On board his gas-powered sleigh
What he saw in her, Todd couldn’t say
Cuz he was drunk since he left home

The First Dude said “Sarah, you’re a fine girl” (you’re a fine girl)
“What a good wife you would be” (such a fine girl)
But it’s booze, snow-machining and pornos for me
(doo da in doo da da), (doo da in doo da da)

But Sarah looked into his eyes
And she took an inventory
She could feel something on him rise
Then she saw his morning glory
She said “To hell with abstinence!”, Lord, she jumped on that sad-sack
And before she could say “Stop!”, she had Track.
(doo da in doo da da), (doo da in doo da da)

Todd, had a loaded pistol
Sarah gave birth to a daughter,  Bristol
She too had an ac-ci-den-tal
And now you hear her say…

You hear her say “Mama, you’re a fine girl” (you’re a fine girl)
“Two peas in a pod aren’t we” (such a fine girl)
“But Ya Betcha we have a screwed-up family”
(doo da in doo da da), (doo da in doo da da)

“Sarah, you’re a fine girl” (you’re a fine girl)
[FADE]

“What a good Prez you would be” (such a fine girl)
“No not here, but maybe somewhere overseas”

Monday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 38

Just a few noteworthy news satellites that have been careening around the blogosphere this week…

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s edition of “Did Somebody Actually Vote For This Guy?” features Tea-Bagger favorite Rand Paul who won the Kentucky Republican Senate primary election last Tuesday. After his victory, not only did we learn that he is a racist that would like it to be legal for private businesses to discriminate, but then he defended BP and called President Obama “un-American” for his tough stance against the oil spill culprit. Let’s get this straight, it is un-American to hold a British foreign corporation liable for causing potentially the most devastating environmental disaster in US history and then trying to shift the blame elsewhere? Heck, then it must have been really, really, really un-American for the founding fathers to declare war on those same British merely for taxing our tea bags!

THIS JUST IN: This week’s edition of “Don’t let The Facts Get In The Way of A Good Story” features the “Turd Blossom” himself. Karl Rove, former President George Bush’s top adviser, while hawking his new book this week, declared that Bush “never allowed” staffers to call their opposition “disparaging labels,” or “question their motives“. His words…

President Bush, for example, never allowed a White House staffer or administration spokesman to go out and do what this administration and our predecessor routinely did — that is to engage in calling the leaders of the opposition party disparaging labels and question their motives.

Oh really Karl? How about in your 2007 speech when you directly challenged the “motives” of your political opponents when you implied that Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL) intentionally used rhetoric that would endanger American soldiers? You said,

Let me just put this in fairly simple terms: Al Jazeera now broadcasts the words of Senator Durbin to the mideast, certainly putting our troops in greater danger. No more needs to be said about the motives of liberals.

Or how about when you questioned the patriotism of candidate Barack Obama for not wearing a flag pin when neither were you? Rove, you are a putz!

BREAKING NEWS: The good news of the week is that the Gulf Oil spill may be only 19 times greater than what BP originally told us.

THIS JUST IN: When moonbat crazy Republican Senator Michele Bachmann of Minnesota says, “No New Taxes” she means it. It was revealed this week that Bachmann “The Birther” has neglected to pay the property taxes owed on her million dollar home.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s edition of “Your MySpace Page Said What?” features former Rand Paul campaign spokesperson Chris Hightower who’s MySpace page in 2008 said “Happy Nig_ _ r Day!!!” and featured a photo of a hanging man. Don’t believe me?

‘Nuff said about Rand Paul and friends.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s edition of “Meet The Press” features Tea-Party darling and Republican nominee for Kentucky’s US Senate seat, Rand Paul. Oops, wait a second…what’s that? Rand Paul has just canceled his scheduled appearance on Meet The Press this morning? Why would he do that? Isn’t this the honeymoon period after his election victory on Tuesday?

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s edition of “Oops, I Did It Again” features Indiana’s conservative Congressman Mark Souder who resigned this week after it was revealed that he has been carrying on an extramarital affair with a staff member. We thought that type of behavior was mandatory to be a member of the Republican Party. Let’s look at our ever growing list of philandering Republicans:

Ronald Reagan, Newt Gingrich, John McCain, David Vitter, Mark Foley, Larry Craig, Rudolph Giuliani, Ted Haggard, Bob Allen, Glenn Murphy, Jr., John Ensign, Sarah Palin (maybe), Mark Sanford, Paul Stanley, Mike Duvall and now…Mark Souder.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Addams Family television theme  song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVRX_5tGOlo&feature=related

THE HORNY G.O.P.

(sung to the television theme song “The Addams Family”)

They’re creepy and they’re horny
Their dialect is corny
Morality is phony
The shady G.O.P.

If you’re in a museum
It’s real easy to see ‘em
With pants down to their knees’m
The dodgy G.O.P.

(Cheat)
(Beat)
(Their meat)

They always get their ball on
And that’s the sword they fall on
Another gal to crawl on
The horny G.O.P.


Today Is Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off’s First Birthday!!!

What began as a fun little pastime has blossomed into a year’s worth of blogging. In December of 2008 yours truly was recovering from knee surgery and as a means to fight the boredom of the passive motion machine, I  started perusing the comment sections of various blogs that I happened upon. Soon thereafter, I too began leaving comments of a political nature. Then, to have some fun, I began to post a few political song parodies based upon 1960′s and 1970′s television theme songs. Eventually I began to spend most of my time on a blog known as The Mudflats because I enjoyed the numerous posts about Sarah Palin.

By the early Spring  my comments were solely of the musical kind. To be honest however, my frequent postings seemed to annoy a number of The Mudflats‘ readers who desired more prose than poems. At that point the Mudflats‘ administrator suggested that I start a blog of my own (probably to get rid of me). The idea sounded great but impossible for this computer challenged scribe. I did not even know what the word blog meant (by the way, I still don’t). Thankfully, the friendly neighborhood Mudflats administrator held my hand and walked me through the process of creating what you are reading today. I remain forever thankful.

Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off debuted on May 13, 2009. Nobody noticed. Little by little however, the readership increased. the increasing traffic encouraged me to carry on. The task was made easier by Sarah Palin’s ever escalating shenanigans over last Summer and Fall. Palin and her crazy family were simply spoon-feeding material to comment upon. In fact, she provided so much material that I ran out of television theme songs. Consequently, I was forced to venture into the world of popular music for the song parodies. Although the pop music world seemed to unveil a limitless number of songs it also made the task of parody more difficult. You see, pop songs are a lot longer and have way more lyrics than television theme songs. Somehow we persevered and here we are today celebrating our first birthday.

I thank each and every one of you for stopping by over the last 12 months. I would especially like to thank those that leave a comment now and again. Those comments provide a sense of worthiness as well as new material for later posts. Once again, I thank all of you.

Today’s song parody is autobiographical in nature and explains the purpose of this blog.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

I Write The Songs song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-fev20voMc

I WRITE THE SONGS

(sung to the Barry Manilow song “I Write The Songs”)

I sling the jive whenever,
I sit down and scribble a song
I put the words and Republicans together
I love music,
And I love these songs

I write the songs that I hope you folks sing
I write the songs to dethrone G.O.P. kings
I write the songs that expose all their lies
I write the songs, I write the songs

I’m from a state that’s deep blue,
And we make a damned good lobster roll
No, there aren’t many right wing guys
There’s some but then, all of them are very old

I write the songs that attack the right wing
I write the songs that I hope linger and sting
I write the songs that prompt Glenn Beck to cry
I write the songs, I write the songs

Oh, I’ll take a hostile stance
When Limbaugh begins to rave and rant
And I’ll lead you to a poll, he can’t disprove
Palin has no heart,
So, I will tear her life apart
Hannity, Coulter too,
Also, too, O’Reilly
None of them can hide from me !!!

I write the songs about Mark Sanford’s flings
I write the songs about Larry Craig’s stings
I write the songs about Mark Foley’s guys
I write the songs, I write the songs

I write the songs about Joe Wilson’s slings
I write the songs of Vitter’s diapery things
I write the songs about all of those guys
I write the songs, I write the songs

I love music, so I write these songs


Lynnrockets vs. Republicans

A young Lynnrockets at Nixon fundraiser in Boston.

A young Lynnrockets at Nixon fundraiser in Boston.

OK folks, I have had enough. The Republican Party and its right wing supporters on talk radio and on television’s Fox News have driven me over the edge. Oh, and do not allow me to downplay the role of their supporters, you know, the bat-crazy, racist, homophobic tea-baggers. The whole bunch of rock throwing glass house dwellers deserve a big giant dose of liberal backlash. So let’s give it to them.

The straw that finally broke this camel’s back is the recent opposition to the Obama administration’s attempts to secure Chicago as the site of the 2016 Summer Olympics. The point is now moot in that, as of today, the International Olympic Committee eliminated Chicago and Tokyo. Nevertheless the opposition by the likes of Hannity, Beck and Limbaugh was not only without merit, it was also without reasoned aforethought. To argue that the President has bigger things on his plate than to concern himself with having our nation host the Olympic games is a simple red herring of an argument. Didn’t Republican President Eisenhower have an overseas war to contend with while simultaneously pitching Lake Placid as the site of the 1960 Olympics? Also, since when does the job creation, foreign investment, exciting sporting events and all around goodwill promoted by these games cause harm to the hosting nation which becomes a world showcase for some two weeks?

Finally, where was all the right wing outrage when this letter was penned by former President George W. Bush?

President Bush Meets with Chicago 2016 Bid Committee and United States Olympic Committee Members
Union League Club of Chicago
Chicago, Illinois

// Video (Windows) <a href=”/news/releases/2008/01/20080107-3.wm.v.html” Play Videomce_href=”/news/releases/2008/01/20080107-3.wm.v.html”>/news/releases/2008/01/20080107-3.wm.v.html</a>
RSS Feed Presidential Remarks
Play Audio Audio

11:35 A.M. CST

THE PRESIDENT: I want to thank the members of the 2016 Chicago bid to get the Olympics. Listen, Mr. Mayor, you and your committee have put together a great plan. It’s a plan that will make America proud.

They say that the Olympics will come to Chicago if we’re fortunate enough to be selected, but really it’s coming to America, and I can’t think of a better city to represent the United States than Chicago.
President George W. Bush and Chicago Mayor Richard Daley hold up a T-shirt touting Chicago 2016, during a meeting Monday, Jan. 7, 2008, with with members of the Chicago 2016 Bid Committee and the U.S. Olympic Committee. Said the President, "This country supports your bid, strongly. And our hope is that the judges will take a good look at Chicago and select Chicago for the 2016 Olympics." White House photo by Joyce N. Boghosian This is a well thought out venue. There will be — the athletes will be taken care of. People who will be coming from around the world will find this good city has got fantastic accommodations, great restaurants. It will be safe.

And so I — this country supports your bid, strongly. And our hope is that the judges will take a good look at Chicago and select Chicago for the 2016 Olympics.

Thank you all.

END 11:36 A.M. CST

Hypocrites, one and all. The Olympic opposition proves beyond doubt that these morons are not interested in national pride. They are merely interested in returning to power for power’s sake and they hope to do so by opposing every single decision of the Obama administration regardless of its merits. It is this type of behavior that prodded me to declare war on the right wing. Without the two-faced behavior of the Republicans and their ilk, I may never have decided to start this blog. But start it, I did, and this next song parody sums up who I am and what my mission is. Will anyone join me?

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with this very autobiographical song parody.

I Write The Songs song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-fev20voMc

I WRITE THE SONGS

(sung to the Barry Manilow song “I Write The Songs”)

I sling the jive whenever,
I sit down and scribble a song
I put the words and Republicans together
I love music,
And I love these songs

I write the songs that I hope you folks sing
I write the songs to dethrone G.O.P. kings
I write the songs that expose all their lies
I write the songs, I write the songs

I’m from a state that’s deep blue,
And we make a damned good lobster roll
No, there aren’t many right wing guys
There’s some but then, all of them are very old

I write the songs that attack the right wing
I write the songs that I hope linger and sting
I write the songs that prompt Glenn Beck to cry
I write the songs, I write the songs

Oh, I’ll take a hostile stance
When Limbaugh begins to rave and rant
And I’ll lead you to a poll, he can’t disprove
Palin has no heart,
So, I will tear her life apart
Hannity, Coulter too,
Also, too, O’Reilly
None of them can hide from me !!!

I write the songs about Mark Sanford’s flings
I write the songs about Larry Craig’s stings
I write the songs about Mark Foley’s guys
I write the songs, I write the songs

I write the songs about Joe Wilson’s slings
I write the songs of Vitter’s diapery things
I write the songs about all of those guys
I write the songs, I write the songs

I love music, so I write these songs

Republican Party Games

banana_repubs_010306

Did you ever wonder what it must feel like to admit that you are a Republican these days? How it must feel to say that you are not only in the same party but also subscribe to the same political policies as some of the craziest wingnuts ever to group together under one banner? Can you imagine trying to say with a straight face that you voted for any of the criminal Banana Republicans shown above or the philandering perverted Republicans such as:

Ronald Reagan, Newt Gingrich, John McCain, David Vitter, Mark Foley, Larry Craig, Rudolph Giuliani, Ted Haggard, Bob Allen, Glenn Murphy, Jr., John Ensign, Sarah Palin (maybe), Mark Sanford, Paul Stanley and Mike Duvall.

We here at Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off believe that it would make you want to cry. That my friends, leads us right into today’s song parody. Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

It’s My Party song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRbsz1Ha7Zo

IT’S OUR REPUBLICAN PARTY

(sung to the Lesley Gore song “It’s My Party”)

It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you had who we do

Nobody knows where Mitt Romney has gone
Delay had to resign
McCain was one we can’t stand
The rest just wallow in slime

It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you had who we do

Naughty Mark Sanford’s romancin’ tonight
Michele Bachmann’s spewin’ bile
We don’t like Mike Huckabee
Cheney will soon be on trial

It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you had who we do

(musical interlude)

Aw, Sarah Palin behaves just like a whore
She’s a mean ding-a-ling
Jindal should open his eyes
He’ll never be our king

It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you had who we do

Oh, It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to
You would cry too if you had who we do

Oh, It’s our party, and we’ll cry if we want to
Lie if we want to, die if we want to

Sarah Palin and the (G)rand (O)ld (P)erverts

Former G.O.P. Senator, Arlen Specter at Town Hall Meeting

Former G.O.P. Senator, Arlen Specter at Town Hall Meeting

We all believed after the last two election cycle defeats for Republicans that the party would disappear as the result of voter defections. We did not anticipate that the party would implode from within as the result of numerous party member resignations triggered by so many tawdry sex scandals. OK, to be honest, maybe we did think that could happen also, too. Nonetheless, we did not think it would happen so rapidly.

Let’s take a look at our list of Republican philanderers and perverts. Ronald Reagan, Newt Gingrich, John McCain, David Vitter, Mark Foley, Larry Craig, Rudolph Giuliani, Ted Haggard, Bob Allen, Glenn Murphy, Jr., John Ensign, Sarah Palin (maybe), Mark Sanford and Paul Stanley.

Oh wait, now we have another one. Let’s have a warm welcome and a stream of hearty applause for California State Assemblyman, Mike Duvall. This guy’s accomplishments in the field of sexual depravity rank right up there with Senator David Vitter and his diaper wearing trysts with hookers. Duvall abruptly resigned from office last week after it was revealed that he inadvertently broadcast descriptions of his sexual conquests over a live microphone feed which recorded his boasting. If that weren’t embarrassing enough, it was discovered that these sexual liaisons took place with women other than his wife. You see where this is going don’t you? That is correct, Duvall is a strict “family values” Republican and strong supporter of the sanctity of marriage. But then again, aren’t they all?

In the recording, Duvall describes in graphic detail about the women he said he slept with including one of whom that was a lobbyist with an energy firm with business before the utilities committee on which Duvall sat as vice chairman. Here is Mike Duvall telling us all about it in his own words:

“I’ve been getting into spanking her,” he said on the recording. “I like it!”

And as for his girl’s panties’

“She wears little eye patch underwear.”

The frequency of his trysts?

“The other day she came here with her underwear. And so we made love on Wednesday a lot.”

And as for his other mistress,

“Shar—oh, she is hot. I talked to her yesterday. She goes, ‘So are we finished?’ I said no. And I go, ‘You know about the other one, but the other one doesn’t know about you.’”

Trust us, these tapes go a lot further but we would like to keep this blog at least somewhat decent.

Now it is time to update our list of Republican philandering perverts. Ronald Reagan, Newt Gingrich, John McCain, David Vitter, Mark Foley, Larry Craig, Rudolph Giuliani, Ted Haggard, Bob Allen, Glenn Murphy, Jr., John Ensign, Sarah Palin (maybe), Mark Sanford, Paul Stanley and Mike Duvall.

Today’s song parody deals with how it must feel to be a member of the Republican Party these days. Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along.

Oh, almost forgot. We realize that there is nothing new in today’s post about Sarah Palin but we still like to mention her in the title of blog posts because it gets everyone’s spirits up. Also, too, did anybody watch that thrilling 4th quarter come from behind victory of my beloved Green Bay Packers last night. I love when they beat the Bears. Go Pack, Go!

Bad Boy song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtwiY11xeus

BAD BOY

(sung to the Beatles song “Bad Boy”)

A bad little perv resigned his office for good
He’s loyal to the right when he’s not busy sporting wood
He sounded just like a fool on that live open mike
I really hope his spouse doesn’t know he’s spanking young girls all night
Well, he likes it when their bottom’s bare
And all those stories he does share
Hey, Duvall, behave yourself.

Buys every S & M book on the magazine stand
Every dime that he gets is spent on softener for his hand
There is no telling how low Mike Duvall is willing to stoop
From slut and mistress trolling to joining a support group
He used a spatula as a prop
To spank those rear-ends nonstop
Now, Duvall, behave yourself

Now your lovin’ momma’s gonna throw you out of bed
She was watching television when she learned what you said
It’s pretty scary that your kids know that you are a rat
You lost everything you had as a result of that one chat
You may still get the “Bobbitt chop”
Cuz your head is hard as rock
Mike Duvall, behave yourself

Republicans: Adultery And Other Assorted Values

Sanford-Super-GOP-AHole

Republicans, the gift that keeps on giving. Now batting, Tennessee state senator Paul Stanley (no, not the make-up adorned rock star from Kiss). Where do we begin? Stanley is a 47 year old married (to a woman, of course) father of two who campaigns on an “abstinence only” platform. Last April, he told a Planned Parenthood representative that he could not support the organization because he, “didn’t believe young people should have sex before marriage.”

Really, Senator Stanley? Now, isn’t that special? Fact is however, that Stanley, like so many other Bible thumping, “family values” Republicans, is a hypocritical philanderer. His sexual tryst with his 22 year old legislative intern was revealed this week when he admitted that he was blackmailed into purchasing explicit photographs and video evidence of the affair by the girl’s boyfriend. Only surprise here is that further details did not reveal a trip to South America or a sit-in at an airport Men’s room stall. But stay tuned. These Republican adultery stories always seem to veer off into the absurd.

We can now update our list of Republican “Family Values” adulterers.

Ronald Reagan, Newt Gingrich, John McCain, David Vitter, Mark Foley, Larry Craig, Rudolph Giuliani, Ted Haggard, Bob Allen, Glenn Murphy, Jr., John Ensign, Sarah Palin (maybe), Mark Sanford and now, Paul Stanley.

Batting next for the Republicans…?

Please click on the song link below so as to have more fun singing along.

The Addams Family television theme  song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVRX_5tGOlo&feature=related

THE HORNY G.O.P.

(sung to the television theme song “The Addams Family”)

They’re creepy and they’re horny
Their dialect is corny
Morality is phony
The shady G.O.P.

If you’re in a museum
It’s real easy to see ‘em
With pants down to their knees’m
The dodgy G.O.P.

(Cheat)
(Beat)
(Their meat)

They always get their ball on
And that’s the sword they fall on
Another gal to crawl on
The horny G.O.P.

The G.O.P(hilanderers)

Republican Adultery

Let’s take a little break from Sarah Palin and draw some attention to her Republican partners in crime. You know, all those hypocritical “family values” adulterers. The list goes something like this: Ronald Reagan, Newt Gingrich, John McCain, David Vitter, Mark Foley, Larry Craig, Rudolph Giuliani, Ted Haggard, Bob Allen, Glenn Murphy, Jr., Mark Sanford and John Ensign.

Shall we take a little look-see at what some of the members of this rogues gallery have said about philandering.

Newt Gingrich

Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich acknowledged he was having an extramarital affair even as he led the charge against President Clinton over the Monica Lewinsky affair, he acknowledged in an interview with a conservative Christian group.

“The honest answer is yes,” Gingrich, a potential 2008 Republican presidential candidate, said in an interview with Focus on the Family founder James Dobson to be aired Friday, according to a transcript provided to The Associated Press. “There are times that I have fallen short of my own standards. There’s certainly times when I’ve fallen short of God’s standards.”

and

“I think you can write a psychological profile of me that says I found a way to immerse my insecurities in a cause large enough to justify whatever I wanted it to” – Newt, speaking to Gail Sheehy.

How about this doozy from his former mistress:

“We had oral sex. He prefers that modus operandi because then he can say, ‘I never slept with her.’” – Anne Manning (who was also married at the time.)

David Vitter

After telephone records revealed that he had frequent visits with prostitutes in the DC Madame, Deborah Jeane Palfrey’s employ he said:

“This was a very serious sin in my past for which I am, of course, completely responsible.” “Several years ago, I asked for and received forgiveness from God and my wife in confession and marriage counseling.”

We can understand that his wife may have told him that she forgives him, but how did he receive this message of forgiveness from God? Are we to believe that they are on speaking terms? Even the alleged forgiveness from his wife is questionable in light of a statement from her about adultery which she uttered prior to her knowledge of the Vitter philandering. She was asked by a reporter: If her husband were as unfaithful as Livingston or former President Bill Clinton, would she be as forgiving as Hillary Rodham Clinton? Her response:

“I’m a lot more like Lorena Bobbitt than Hillary.”  “If he does something like that, I’m walking away with one thing, and it’s not alimony, trust me.”

“I think fear is a very good motivating factor in a marriage,” she added. “Don’t put fear down.”

Mark Foley

This is the upstanding Republican that sent the sexual emails to a 16 year old boy that went like this:

Congressman Mark Foley (R-Fla.): “Do I make you a little horny?”
Teen: “A little.”
Foley: “Cool.” –from the transcript of a sexually explicit IM chat Foley had with a 16-year-old male, the revelation of which prompted him to resign (read full transcript; warning: contains explicit language)

Prior to his sexual predilections becoming public, Foley said:

“Anybody even contemplating a sexual offense against a child, understand your life will be ruined.” –Rep. Mark Foley, co-founder of Congressional Missing and Exploited Children’s Caucus

and

“It’s vile. It’s more sad than anything else, to see someone with such potential throw it all down the drain because of a sexual addiction.” –Mark Foley, on Bill Clinton, in 1998 (Source)

And here is our final Republican culprit for today.

John Ensign

This is the Republican that called upon President Clinton to resign as the consequence of an extramarital affair. He said:

“I came to that conclusion recently, and frankly it’s because of what he put his whole Cabinet through and what he has put the country through,” Ensign said Thursday, becoming the first member of the Nevada delegation to call for Clinton to quit. “He has no credibility left.”

Now that Ensign has admitted to an affair however, he refuses to resign and has confirmed that he will seek re-election in 2010. How much credibility does he have left?

We believe that you will find today’s song parody quite fitting. Enjoy.

Remember to click on the song link below to have more fun singing along.

Walk Like An Egyptian song link: http://www.clipshack.com/Clip.aspx?key=65143F523EF415C0

WALK WITH AN ERECTION

(sung to the Bangles song “Walk Like An Egyptian”)

All the G.O.P.s in bedrooms
They do the sex dance with their hoes
They’re getting their kicks (oh whey oh)
They think that their wives will never know

There sat Larry Craig with a smile
Hoping to score a tete-a-tete
He set for awhile (oh whey oh)
On the airport Men’s Room toilet

Cleans his pipe with a Handy Wipe play
Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh
Walk with an erection

Mark Sanford goes missing for days
In South America for a score
He’s got the moves (oh whey oh)
But he’s a fink and his gal’s a whore

John Ensign met his while at work
Along with her son and her husband
He paid them like kings (oh whey oh)
No talking of his erection

All the guys in the G.O.P. say
Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh
Walk with an erection

(musical interlude)

Newt Gingrich left his wife with no tact
In the cancer ward on her back
Life is hard you know (oh whey oh)
He even took her new Cadillac

Mark Vitter pulled out all the stops
His escorts charged him the very tops
They sing and dance (oh whey oh)
Spent his way right into hawk

Then there’s Mark Foley with his men
He says he won’t do it again
But those heinies know (oh whey oh)
He works with a big erection

All the boys in the G.O.P. say
Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh
Walk with an erection
Walk with an erection





Mark Sanford (and Son)! (Updated)

Republican South Carolina Governor, Mark Sanford tries to remember whether he went to Appalachian Trail or Argentina

Republican South Carolina Governor, Mark Sanford tries to remember whether he went to Appalachian Trail or Argentina

Republicans, the gift that keeps on giving. Now batting, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford. Where do we begin? Sanford disappears for six days and neither his family nor his staff have any idea as to his whereabouts. The press catches on to the case of the missing governor and so his staff makes up a story that Sanford needed to clear his head by means of hiking the Appalachian Trail.

That fabrication unravels, however when an unidentified South Carolina law enforcement official informs CNN that Sanford’s vehicle has been parked at the airport for several days. Next, airport officials confirm that Sanford has just re-entered the United States from Argentina. What up with that? Finally, we learn today that Sanford has lately been borrowing law enforcement vehicles in the middle of the night for sojourns to parts unknown. Sounds like a little head shrinking may be in order. Or, perhaps he just has a girlfriend like so many other of the “Family Values” Republicans. In any event, this example of irrational behavior should put an end to any Presidential aspirations that Sanford may have harbored for 2012.

UPDATE

Suspicions confirmed. Mark Sanford was traveling with his mistress. We can now update our list of Republican “Family Values” adulterers.

Ronald Reagan, Newt Gingrich, John McCain, David Vitter, Mark Foley, Larry Craig, Rudolph Giuliani, Ted Haggard, Bob Allen, Glenn Murphy, Jr., John Ensign, Sarah Palin (maybe) and Mark Sanford.

Batting next for the Republicans, Mittwit Romney.

Please click on the song link below so as to have more fun singing along.

Sweet Caroline song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmV_YJm5jAc

SOUTH CAROLINE

(sung to the Neil Diamond song “Sweet Caroline”)

Where he began, we can’t begin to know where
But we do know that something’s wrong
Does Sanford drink?
Is this guy dumb or dumber?
Will Mark next fly off to Hong Kong?

Vans, minivans, roams about
Losing me, losing you
South Caroline
Why did Sanford leave the hood?
He should resign, that would do your state some good

Why, oh why?
Is he all-right, is the guv’nor so lonely?
Where will he next wander off to?
Maybe Frankfurt?
Frankfurt or maybe Boulder?
Not Pennsylvania Avenue

Done, he’s now done, petered out
He should be, in the zoo
South Caroline
Is Sanford misunderstood?
He should resign, that would do your state some good

(musical interlude)

South Caroline
Why did Sanford leave the hood?

South Caroline
Is Sanford misunderstood?

South Caroline

Republicans, The Party of No (Family Values, that is)

Republican Senator, John Ensign feels the heat from his extramarital affair.

Republican Senator, John Ensign feels the heat from his extramarital affair.

A few weeks ago, Congressional Republican leaders considered voting on a resolution to re-name the Democratic Party the “Democrat Socialist Party.” In light of the most recent revelation of another G.O.P. member’s extramarital affair, it might be time to pass a resolution to re-name the Republican Party. Perhaps, the “Party of No Family Values” would be appropriate.

The latest Republican adulterer is Nevada Senator John Ensign. This week we learned of his affair with one of his staff members. Ensign truly believes in keeping it in the family, so long as the family in question is not his own. You see, while having the affair with his mistress-employee, he also employed her husband and their son. Boy, does that ever make for tense staff meetings.

Mr. Ensign has also followed in the hypocritical footprints of former Republican Speaker of the House, Newt Gingrich. Both of these impostors called for the resignation of President Clinton when the Lewinsky affair came to light. Neither of them, however was man enough to resign as the result of their own identical indiscretions. Ensign however, doubled down on the hypocrisy when he also called for Republican Senator Larry Craig to resign in light of Craig’s extramarital homosexual airport tryst.

Our list of recent Republican “family values” adulterers now includes Ronald Reagan, Newt Gingrich, John McCain, David Vitter, Mark Foley, Larry Craig, Rudolph Giuliani, Ted Haggard, Bob Allen, Glenn Murphy, Jr., and John Ensign.

This, of course leads to our newest song parody. Hope you enjoy.

Remember to click on the song link below to make singing along a lot more fun.

A Day In The Life song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWjVffR5EdM

A DAY IN THE LIFE (OF THE G.O.P.)

(sung to the Beatles song “A Day In The Life”)

I read the news today oh, boy
About a senator who made the grade
And though the news was rather sad
Well, I just had to laugh
Is there a photograph?

John Ensign’s tryst will leave a scar
A “family values” guy who’s values changed
His dirty laundry will be aired
We’ve seen his kind before
In hypocrisy the G.O.P. wins all of the awards

I watched the news today oh, boy
Seems David Vitter spent time with a whore
It was a girl so he’s not gay
But here’s the funny hook
It’s all in her book
He’d love to make her gone

Horned up and out of bed
Larry Craig needed some head
Went to the airport to find a pup
Things looking up, he thought he found some bait
Found a leg to give a pat
Caught a bust in seconds flat
Gave a poor excuse when the news broke
Just another joke in the dirty G.O.P.

Ah, ah,ah, ah, ah, ah ,ah ……….

I read the news today oh, boy
The Sunshine State’s Mark Foley is a queer
These guys spew hate but have no balls
The party’s sure to fall
Hypocritical A-holes heading straight into a wall

They’d love to turn you on

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