Category Archives: Levi Johnston

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 85

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS:  Has anybody noticed that Fox News has reported on the Rupert Murdoch scandal far less than any other cable television station? Could that be because Murdoch owns Fox News?

THIS JUST IN:  The next time some right wing conservative tells you that Medicare must be abolished because it is unsustainable, please remind them that “over the program’s 75-year planning horizon is less than 0.4 percent of GDP. This is less than one quarter of the cost of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.”

BREAKING NEWS:  CNN reported that Democrats and Republicans squared off in the 50th annual Congressional Baseball Game at Nationals Park in Washington Thursday night. The Republicans never led in this one, falling to the Democrats 8-2 in front of more than 7,000 fans. How appropriate.

THIS JUST IN:  Moonbat-crazy Teapublican Presidential candidate Michele Bachmann announced on Friday that she has quit her church. Bachmann, a Minnesota congresswoman, and her husband, Marcus, withdrew their membership from Salem Lutheran Church in Stillwater, Minnesota, last month, according to church officials. When asked about the Bachmanns leaving the church, Pastor Marcus Birkholz said, “I’ve been asked to make no comments regarding them and their family.” Have “the chickens come home to roost”?

BREAKING NEWS:  Business Insider reports that One of the most-respected and economically intelligent publications in the world, The Economist, has turned against the Republican party for its disgraceful behavior with respect to the US debt-ceiling negotiations. The Republicans, the Economist points out, would rather disrupt the US economy and put the country into default than compromise on a long-term deficit and debt reduction plan. This behavior is an abdication of the Republicans’ responsibilities as elected officials.  It puts the Republicans’ self-interest ahead of the country’s. The Republicans’ stance on the debt-ceiling has now gone so far, in fact, that the Republicans appear to be trying to disrupt the economy in order to improve their chances in the next elections, rather than address an economic crisis that threatens to affect millions of Americans. This is not practical or responsible. It’s also not patriotic. It’s traitorous. Jeesh The Economist, don’t sugar-coat it. Tell us how you really feel.

THIS JUST IN:  It was nice to learn that Democrat Janice Hahn easily won a congressional seat (recently vacated by Democrat Jane Harman) in California’s 36th District, fending off a special election challenge from Republican Craig Huey. So much for GOP momentum.

BREAKING NEWS:  Republican Presidential candidate Newt Gingrich‘s campaign is over $1 million in debt. And this is the guy that was going to lead our nation out of its financial difficulties?

THIS JUST IN:  Here is moonbat-crazy Teapublican Michele Bachmann‘s gaffe of the week:

BREAKING NEWS:  Bristol Palin expects “more obnoxious lies” from Levi Johnston in his new book. Wow, if that isn’t the pot calling the kettle black. Remember, Bristol Palin said her “virginity was stolen”.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Paperback Writer song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taADLPtyDb0

PAPERBACK WRITER (BRISTOL VERSION)

(sung to the Beatles song “Paperback Writer”)

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

Dear Todd and Sarah, will you read my tome?
It took a year to write while raising Tripp alone
It’s based on my life as a teen-aged quack
And a bunch of folks that I wanna attack as a paperback writer,
Paperback writer

A book of topics that I want a say on,
Which I wrote with finger-paints and a crayon.
Do not expect too much from this school drop-out,
I can’t read too well but I want to be a paperback writer
Paperback writer

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

It’s got twenty pages give or take a few,
And it has some pictures that Piper drew.
I threw in an old joke that my mom once told
It’s a real page-turner and I want to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer

I tell a tall tale about camping one night
I drank wine coolers and got high as a kite.
Lost my virginity, yes let’s make that clear,
That sure gave me a boost and now I can be a paperback writer.
Paperback writer

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

Paperback writer – paperback writer
Paperback writer – paperback writer
(fading)

Bristol Palin Releases A Juvenile Tell-All

If this isn’t just what America needs! Another Palin has attempted to write a book. First there was “Going Rogue: An American Life”, a ghostwritten memoir by Sarah Palin. That was followed by the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska’s scrapbook of a mess titled, “America By Heart: Reflections Of Family, Faith and Flag”. Now we have daughter Bristol Palin’s “Not Afraid Of Life: My Journey So Far”. What is with these Palins and their affinity for sub-titles anyway?

Bristol Palin of course, is the one-time high school drop-out and one-time unwed pregnant teen-aged daughter of Sarah and Todd Palin. During her campaign for vice president, Sarah often referred to her as the brave daughter who would soon be married to her longtime boyfriend so that the two of them would raise their child in loving harmony. Indeed, the wedding announcement was made before a televised audience. Of course none of that happened. Shortly after Palin’s campaign collapsed, so did Bristol and Levi’s wedding engagement.

After the break-up, Bristol accepted a high paying job with the Candies Foundation to speak out against teen pregnancy of all things. Only in America. She is getting lucratively paid to tell teens not to do exactly what she did. Yikes, talk about shutting the barn door after the horse has escaped!

Like her mom, Bristol has also taken to the world of reality television series. Last year she appeared on Dancing With The Stars and was surrounded with the ever-present Palin aura of controversy. It was alleged that despite her poor dancing skills and the judges’ low scoring, Bristol was not voted off the show by the audience as the result of a well orchestrated effort by Sarah Palin supporters. She was ultimately deemed to be a loser by the show’s judges. As an encore, it was recently announced that Bristol will now be appearing in yet another reality series. This time, the single mom will be shacking up with two male friends in a Los Angeles apartment while raising her son and working for a charity. How realistic is that?

Bristol is truly living the life of the typical unwed mother of a small child. A lucrative spoke-person’s contract, a starring role in two television series, a condominium in Alaska and a brand new home in Arizona and now the author of a memoir of her very own. That is certainly a lot more than most 20 year old single parents could handle. Bristol Palin is truly remarkable.

But what about the book you ask? Well, in short, it is nothing more than the transcription of a female adolescent mind’s gripe session. Bristol does to her friends and associates in this book, what her mother has done to so many of her own in her memoir. She stabs them in the back.

She blasts John McCain’s daughter Meghan by saying she is “self-obsessed” and reveals that after meeting her, Bristol felt she “might need to watch my back”. She portrays John McCain’s wife as looking “like a queen” and holding herself “like royalty”, not to mention having “never seen people with so much Louis Vuitton luggage, so many cell phones, and so many constant helpers to do her hair and makeup.”

Bristol even snipes at the other contestants on Dancing With The Stars. She writes, “I noticed some of the contestants rolled their eyes when they realized we’d survived to dance another day.”

Her sharpest attacks are, not surprisingly, directed at her two-time fiance and the father of her child. Levi Johnston has probably heard all this bad-mouthing from her already, but now the rest of America is on the scoop. First Bristol tells us that her virginity was “stolen” by Levi one night while she was drunk on wine coolers during a camping trip (Hmm, wonder if that’s where the name Tripp came from?). She does not use the word “rape”, so we must deduce that the tryst was consensual. Nonetheless, she goes on to write, “I could tell by the evidence in the tent that all of my plans, my promises, and my moral standards had disappeared in one awful night in a series of bad decisions.” Those bad decisions continued however, because she then tells us that she was later surprised to learn that she was pregnant at 17 years old despite the fact that she “had been on birth control.”

She then describes Johnston as a disloyal boyfriend who had “romps with other girls”. When confronted, he showered her with gifts, including Coach purses, Abercrombie clothing, and designer rain boots. In return, she forgave Johnston and started sleeping with him again with the hope that he would stop cheating. “It was part ‘thank you,’ part ‘security deposit,” she writes. Bristol even goes so far as to ridicule Levi Johnston’s intelligence. She pointedly makes fun of his grammar and misspellings in notes to her. This is particularly humorous when you consider that it is being said by a high school drop-out who required the help of a co-writer for her memoir.

Don’t worry too much about Levi Johnston however, because his very own “tell all” memoir will be hitting a Barnes & Noble near you this autumn.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Paperback Writer song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taADLPtyDb0

PAPERBACK WRITER (BRISTOL VERSION)

(sung to the Beatles song “Paperback Writer”)

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

Dear Todd and Sarah, will you read my tome?
It took a year to write while raising Tripp alone
It’s based on my life as a teen-aged quack
And a bunch of folks that I wanna attack as a paperback writer,
Paperback writer

A book of topics that I want a say on,
Which I wrote with finger-paints and a crayon.
Do not expect too much from this school drop-out,
I can’t read too well but I want to be a paperback writer
Paperback writer

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

It’s got twenty pages give or take a few,
And it has some pictures that Piper drew.
I threw in an old joke that my mom once told
It’s a real page-turner and I want to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer

I tell a tall tale about camping one night
I drank wine coolers and got high as a kite.
Lost my virginity, yes let’s make that clear,
That sure gave me a boost and now I can be a paperback writer.
Paperback writer

Paperback writer (paperback writer)

Paperback writer – paperback writer
Paperback writer – paperback writer
(fading)

Palin Publications Are A Poppin’

If you have not had your fill of all things Sarah Palin since she was unwisely selected as the Republican Vice Presidential nominee back in 2008, do not worry. In the very near future at least four Palin books will be released. Unfortunately for the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska, each of the books is likely to cast her in a negative and unflattering light. TheWeek.com describes each of the tomes as follows:

1. The Lies of Sarah Palin: The Untold Story Behind Her Relentless Quest for Power, by Geoffrey Dunn
Dunn, a California-based writer and documentarian, says he was moved to write the book after hearing “troubling” stories from Alaskans about Palin’s life. Dunn focuses on her career in Alaska politics, placing it in the context of a corrupt political culture and the larger tradition of American populism and “demagoguery.” The first book in the queue, it is set for a May 10 release by publisher St. Martin’s Press.

2. Blind Allegiance, by Frank Bailey and Jeanne Devon
Bailey is a disgruntled former top aide to Palin, and Devon is the anti-Palin blogger behind The Mudflats. In a rough copy of the book that leaked online in February, Bailey quotes heavily from unflattering emails written by Palin. But while the book paints Palin as a vindictive, petty, self-obessed lightweight, it also spends lots of time on Alaska politics, potentially limiting its general appeal. After struggling to find a publisher, Bailey signed with Simon & Schuster earlier this month. Blind Allegiance comes out May 24.

3. The Rogue: Searching for the Real Sarah Palin, by Joe McGinniss
McGinniss, an investigative journalist, infamously moved in next door to the Palins last summer while researching his book. McGinniss calls The Rogue a “startling and penetrating examination of the illusion and reality of Sarah Palin,” and he has “signaled that his book will focus on the mother of all Palin conspiracy theories,” says Kenneth Vogel at Politico: That Palin didn’t really give birth to her youngest child, Trig. McGinniss says that while he personally is “a Trignostic,” his research raised some interesting questions. “But my lips are sealed until September,” when Crown publishes the book, he teases.

4. Deer in the Headlights: My Life in Sarah Palin’s Crosshairs, by Levi Johnston
“Levi is going to talk about everybody, including Sarah Palin, and the rest of the family,” manager Tank Johnson tells Radar Online. That includes former fiancee Bristol Palin, the mother of their son. Published by Touchtsone, Johnston’s book will also include previously unreleased photos and stories of his intimate, rocky, suddenly public life with the Palins. Will it live up to expectations? “I did get to talk to Johnston off the record at one point,” notes Palin critic Andrew Sullivan at The Daily Beast. “I look forward to the book and hope he tells it exactly like it was.”

Lynnrockets looks forward to the release of all of these books, but one in particular has the potential to be the most damaging to Sarah Palin. Inasmuch as he was truly part of their inner circle, Levi Johnston may have been exposed to the juiciest details of the Palin Family Circus. It remains to be seen however, if he is willing to candidly spill the beans on his once-future wife and in-laws. Each of the Palins has said some pretty nasty things about Johnston. The ball is now in Levi’s court. Will he serve an ace? Let’s hope so.

Please take at a look at my WRKO Boston talk radio-based blog also, too. It can be found here: Kevin’s Blog-A Liberal Dose of Reality.

In honor of the troops, today’s song parody musically illustrates the intriguing Sarah Palin/Levi Johnston relationship. Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

The Ballad Of John And Yoko song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_t3oaPNJieg

THE BALLAD OF SARAH AND LEVI (PART IV)

(Sung to the Beatles song “The Ballad of John and Yoko”)

Posing in a condo in New York,
Levi about to remove his pants
He now has a knack
To annoy SarahPAC
Yet most of them will still want to take a glance

Christ you know it ain’t easy,
You know how hard it can be,
To play second fiddle,
To the Caribou-Barbie.

Sarah claims that she is embarrassed
Really, she just envies his fame
Katie Couric did say,
“Is your head made of clay?”
“And can you point out some newspapers by name?”.

Christ you know it ain’t easy,
Those interviews on TV.
Reviews were not glowing
For the brain-dead Sarah P.

Levi’s camped-out in the Hollywood Hilton,
Media folks want him to speak
The newspapers said,
“What’s going on in your head?”
He said , “my book is gonna be a good read”

Christ you know Levi’s teasing,
His book will earn him a fee
And he loves annoying
His mother-in-law to be

Earning every penny for a rainy day,
Starring in his book is “Baby T”,
Know what Sarah said?
“Soon he will be dead!”
But then she will be haunted by his ghost – Think!

Maybe she’ll have Levi arrested.
Palin dignity in free-fall.
Young Bristol will claim,
“He’s stealing my fame,”
“He really has no talent at all”

Christ you know she’s so sleazy
She lies so effortlessly
But Levi is going,
To crucify Sarah P.

How did Mac choose Sarah to begin with?
She is just a political hack.
A dumb “hockey mom”,
That can’t think and chew gum.
Why didn’t he select “Joe Sixpack?”

Christ she makes us uneasy.
In Yiddish we say, “Oy Vey.”
We’d love to replace her
With our good friend, Tina Fey.
We’d love to replace her
With our good friend, Tina Fey.

Things We Learned About The Clampetts, Err Palins From DWTS

Bristol Palin is the Missing Link

Ding dong the witch is dead. We knew it could not go on forever. We knew that at some point Bristol Palin would be dumped from “Dancing With The Stars”. Just the same, we will miss the contestant that was a star only as the result of her status as being a former unwed pregnant teen. Bristol’s presence on the show gave the nation another point of contact with America’s most notorious reality television-based family. And we learned a number of things during her tenure such as…

  1. Sarah Palin is likely to get booed whenever she appears before an audience that has not been hand-picked and stocked full of Tea-Baggers;
  2. Bristol enjoyed publicly embarrassing “Mama Bear” by choosing songs that were thinly veiled insults at Sarah’s parenting skills (or lack thereof) and her unwed teen pregnancy (i.e. “Mama Told Me Not To Come” and “You Can’t Hurry Love”);
  3. Palinbots will game the system and support the Palin family in whatever endeavor they choose to pursue regardless of talent or taste;
  4. Bristol embraced the Palin-denied “Theory of Evolution” when she donned her anthropomorphic gorilla costume;
  5. Sarah Palin’s sex-obsession regarding her children has no limits, as was evidenced by her concern that Bristol might perform a stripper’s “lap dance” on national television;
  6. Bristol does not vote;
  7. Bristol believed that if she won the contest, “it would be like giving the big middle finger to the people that hate her mother” and her;
  8. Sarah thought that husband Todd would have been a better contestant on the show because ballroom dancing is apparently within his “comfort zone” but not Bristol’s; and
  9. Sarah was correct. Bristol cannot dance.

Bristol, we hardly knew ye. But fear not loyal Lynnrockets readers, we still have one Palin related reality show in progress and one more in the production stages. “Sarah Palin’s Alaska” is presently airing on TLC and consequently we will get a weekly dose of her invading the privacy of her neighbors (author/antagonist Joe McGinniss), lying about reading and researching and generally misinforming most Americans about the state of Alaska. Additionally, we can look forward to the insane antics of Levi Johnston as he runs for mayor of Wasilla before our very own television-peeping eyes. Perhaps Sarah will instruct Todd and his buddies to drill another spy hole through her fence so that she can keep track of her once and future son-in-law. Speaking of Track, how long will it be before the prodigal son gets his own reality show?

Stay tuned. Same Rocket channel! Same Rocket time!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Dancing Queen song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y62OlGvC-bk

DANCING QUEEN

(sung to the ABBA song “Dancing Queen”)

She can dance, she’ll connive, someday she’ll be Levi’s wife
(Ooooh)
Scheming girl, pregnant teen, she is the dancing queen

Not too bright and her sights set low
Stepping out just to earn some dough
Where they play right-wing music, sporting her new bling
Let’s pray that she don’t sing

Baby Tripp is right by her side
Sarah Palin mulls suicide
First Dude, he’s sure to lose it. Here comes Palin decline
There’ll be no second chance
Let’s all watch Bristol dance…

Bristol’s the dancing queen, two left feet, unwed pregnant teen
Dancing queen, seeking green from the cash machine
(Oh yeah)
She’ll enhance her sex drive, and prove that she is pro-life
(Ooooh)
Bristol girl, on TV, she is the dancing queen

She’s a teaser, she leads boys on
Never makes them put condoms on
She’s the unwed teen mother soon to make Baby Two
She loves to take a chance
Let’s all watch Bristol dance…

Bristol’s the dancing queen, two left feet, unwed pregnant teen
Dancing queen, indiscrete on the TV screen
(Oh yeah)
What’s the chance she’ll survive? Should have been gone by Round 5?
(Ooooh)
Bristol girl, on TV, she is the dancing queen
Bristol’s the dancing queen

Bristol Dances The Palin Two-Step!

Bristol Palin shakes her money-maker.

I made a promise to myself that I was not going to devote a blog post to Bristol Palin’s undeserved spot as a celebrity participant on television’s Dancing With The Stars. Then again, this will not be the first time that I have broken a promise to myself. So, here we go.

The ill-conceived message being sent to the teens of America as the result of Bristol Palin’s appearance on this reality television show is, get pregnant out of wedlock and you too will have the opportunity to become rich and famous. Let’s face it, there is nothing unique or remarkable about Bristol Palin other than the fact that she was Sarah Palin’s unwed pregnant teen-aged daughter.

But for her mother’s celebrity status, she would just be another unfortunate, single school-aged mother. Like so many others in that category, Bristol dropped out of high-school, never made it through college and quit the only mainstream job she could get. Unlike others in that category however, she has been able to profit by means of granting interviews to tabloid newspapers and gossip magazines and now by appearing on a nationally televised reality show.

Bristol Palin may someday prove to the world that she has something special to add to society or she may prove to have some special celebrity level talent that serves to provide her with a living. I really do hope that is the case because it is sad to think that her only claim to fame is a celebrity level unwed teen pregnancy.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s very topical song parody.

Dance With Me song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPoxFWv3cW8

DANCE WITH ME

(sung to the Orleans song “Dance With Me”)

Dance with me, I have no other partner
Pregnancy defines me like no other
Tripp is balling and mom is calling
Dance with me

Pregnancy can be so unforgiving
For a fee, you know that I am willing
Get my fee up and you can tee-up
Dance with me

Bristol’s room lets out no sound
Her mom Sarah is never around
You can have her if you have the dough

Bristol P. is such a willing partner
Can’t you see, she’s up for any barter
No use stalling, let’s start the balling
Bristol P.

(pregnancy test break)

Laughingstock in her hometown
Abstinence was never to be found
Pregnancy is what got her this show

Dance with B, she needs a willing partner
Pregnancy defines her like no other
Mom is falling and Levi’s calling
Dance with me

Dance with me

Dance with me

Dance with me

Palins vs. Reality (TV): Round Three – Bristol

First we had Sarah Palin, the former half-term ex-quitting governor of Alaska dip her toe into the waters of reality television with her TLC show known as “Sarah Palin’s Alaska“. Next, we learned that Palin’s would-be son-in-law, Levi Johnston is shopping his own reality series titled “Loving Levi: The Road to the Mayor’s Office” in which Johnston will follow in the Naughty Monkey steps of Sarah and run for Mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Now we hear that Sarah’s daughter Bristol, the former unwed pregnant teen and current unwed twenty-something single mother, will appear as a contestant on next season’s “Dancing With The Stars“. Wow! Remember when Sarah Palin negatively alleged that President Barack Obama was a celebrity and compared him to Britney Spears and Paris Hilton during the 2008 presidential campaign? Did that ever prove to be the pot calling the kettle black (pun intended).

What is it with the Palin clan and their obsession with celebrity status? Really, how many normal families would aspire to have three members star in their own reality television series? Talk about low expectations. This group simply should have stuck together as one unit and promoted a joint sitcom possible titled “The Wasilla Hillbillies“. Heck, even the Gosselin family managed to keep nine out of their ten members on just one TV show.

What is next for the Palins? More reality shows? Maybe “Hey First Dude, Where’s My Car?” wherein Todd Palin will steal and then hide the automobiles of unsuspecting Wasilla residents. Or perhaps, the ever elusive Track might star in “Tracking Track“. Can you folks come up with any other suggestions?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Dancing Queen song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y62OlGvC-bk

DANCING QUEEN

(sung to the ABBA song “Dancing Queen”)

She can dance, she’ll connive, someday she’ll be Levi’s wife
(Ooooh)
Scheming girl, pregnant teen, she is the dancing queen

Not too bright and her sights set low
Stepping out just to earn some dough
Where they play right-wing music, sporting her new bling
Let’s pray that she don’t sing

Baby Tripp is right by her side
Sarah Palin mulls suicide
First Dude, he’s sure to lose it. Here comes Palin decline
There’ll be no second chance
Let’s all watch Bristol dance…

Bristol’s the dancing queen, two left feet, unwed pregnant teen
Dancing queen, seeking green from the cash machine
(Oh yeah)
She’ll enhance her sex drive, and prove that she is pro-life
(Ooooh)
Bristol girl, on TV, she is the dancing queen

She’s a teaser, she leads boys on
Never makes them put condoms on
She’s the unwed teen mother soon to make Baby Two
She loves to take a chance
Let’s all watch Bristol dance…

Bristol’s the dancing queen, two left feet, unwed pregnant teen
Dancing queen, indiscrete on the TV screen
(Oh yeah)
What’s the chance she’ll survive? Will she make it to Round 5?
(Ooooh)
Bristol girl, on TV, she is the dancing queen
Bristol’s the dancing queen

Palin vs. Levi IV: The Battle For Tripp’s Rattle

Is there anything more entertaining than pure unadulterated hypocrisy? Thankfully, when the subject is Sarah Palin, we are never denied a heaping helping. Sarah Palin is to hypocrisy, what a cesspool is to human waste. She is full of it!

This week’s thrilling episode of “How Dare You!” co-stars those wondrous whiners of Wasilla, Sarah Palin and Levi Johnston. Yes, they are at it again. Honestly, those two would-be relatives are at each others’ throats more than Michael Vick’s family of friendly pit-bulls.

This time, they are fighting over who has the authority to exploit Baby Tripp and by what method. Grandmama Sarah and Mommy Bristol are teaming up in an attempt to stop Levi Johnston from using his son in his new reality show (you know, the one wherein he tries to exploit the political system for personal gain by running for Mayor of Wasilla just like his would-be mother-in-law). metroWNY.com reports that a source says, “Sarah can’t stand Levi and it’s gotten worse. She is absolutely opposed to it. Sarah hates Levi. She thinks his desperate grasp at fame is pathetic and doesn’t want him involving Bristol or Tripp in anything he does to try and get famous.” Wow, isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black?

Let’s just reverse the names in that sentence and see if it might also ring true, shall we? “Levi can’t stand Sarah and it’s gotten worse. He is absolutely opposed to it. Levi hates Sarah. He thinks her desperate grasp at fame is pathetic and doesn’t want her involving Tripp in anything she does to try and get famous.” Hmm, seems to work just fine in light of Sarah Palin’s history of exploiting her children for personal gain.

Perhaps Washington Post writer, Sally Quinn put it best in 2009 when she said, “Well, clearly, she has not put her family first…And these children have, it seems publicly, to have been exploited by her in a, I think, really unfortunate way. You know, she brings them all to the convention, including Trig, the baby. She brings the pregnant daughter with the boyfriend who clearly didn’t want to be there. She then travels around with the children, using them as sort of photo ops…she brings the children up when she needs them to shore up her own image.” Ouch! The truth can really hurt.

Now that the tables have turned and Levi wants to tap the kiddie tree however, Sarah Palin claims to be the unselfish protector of her grandson’s privacy. But what, if anything, can she do to prevent the child from appearing on television with his father just as her own children did and continue to do with her? Levi and Bristol have joint custody of Tripp so it seems that if he wants to have his son on his reality show then he is within his rights to do so.

As metroWNY so aptly reports, “If Sarah Palin and Bristol Palin were so against Levi from using Tripp then they should have had that written into the custody agreement. By the look of things it seems that Levi has gotten the final laugh on Sarah Palin and Bristol. He gets to exploit his son, rub it in the face of Sarah Palin and use the fact that he dated her daughter as a way to make himself famous and make money and there is not a thing Palin can do about it. As powerful as Sarah Palin is she must feel so useless and powerless right now. Levi Johnston has got her right where he wants her on this one.”

As the saying goes however, “It is always the children that suffer”. It is unfortunate that the entire Palin/Johnston clan have proven to be ignorant of that.

In honor of the troops, today’s song parody musically illustrates the intriguing Sarah Palin/Levi Johnston relationship. Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

The Ballad Of John And Yoko song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_t3oaPNJieg

THE BALLAD OF SARAH AND LEVI (PART III)

(Sung to the Beatles song “The Ballad of John and Yoko”)

Posing in a condo in New York,
Levi about to remove his pants
He now has a knack
To annoy SarahPAC
Yet most of them will still want to take a glance

Christ you know it ain’t easy,
You know how hard it can be,
To play second fiddle,
To the Caribou-Barbie.

Sarah claims that she is embarrassed
Really, she just envies his fame
Katie Couric did say,
“Can you pray away gay?”
“And can you point out some newspapers by name?”.

Christ you know it ain’t easy,
Those interviews on TV.
Reviews were not glowing
For the brain-dead Sarah P.

Levi’s camped-out in the Hollywood Hilton,
Media folks want him to speak
The newspapers said,
“What’s going on in your head?”
He said that, “soon I’ll be starring on TV”

Christ you know he loves TV,
His show should earn him a fee
And he loves annoying
His mother-in-law to be

Earning every penny for a rainy day,
Starring in his show is “Baby T”,
Know what Sarah said?
“Soon he will be dead!”
But then she will be haunted by his ghost – Think!

Maybe she’ll have Levi arrested.
Palin dignity in free-fall.
Young Bristol will claim,
“He’s stealing my fame,”
“He really has no talent at all”

Christ you know she’s so sleazy
She lies so effortlessly
But Levi is going,
To crucify Sarah P.

How did Mac choose Sarah to begin with?
She is just a political hack.
A dumb “hockey mom”,
That can’t think and chew gum.
Why didn’t he select “Joe Sixpack?”

Christ she makes us uneasy.
In Yiddish we say, “Oy Vey.”
We’d love to replace her
With our good friend, Tina Fey.
We’d love to replace her
With our good friend, Tina Fey.

Mama Grizzlies Attack Sarah Palin

It’s a jungle, er forest out there. The beasts have become restless and are now on the prowl. Their prey? Sarah Palin. Yes it’s true. The former half-term ex-quitting governor of Alaska and Jane Goodall of Mama Grizzlies everywhere is now under attack by angry wild female voters.

EMILY’s List is targeting Sarah Palin and the 49 candidates she has endorsed so far in the 2010 midterms with the launch of a new campaign. EMILY’s List is a veteran Democratic advocacy group that works to elect women who support abortion rights to federal and state office. EMILY’s List, founded in 1985, boasts their role in electing 80 female House members, 15 senators, and nine governors. The group says the battle over women voters has intensified this year as Palin trumpets and endorses conservative Republican women she has dubbed “mama grizzlies.” Palin also advocated for conservative women candidates in a recent “Mama Grizzlies” video released through her political action committee, SarahPAC. The group does not want Sarah Palin to go unchallenged.

EMILY’s List identified three races that are prime targets for warring Mama Grizzlies, in which EMILY’s List supports the Democrat and Sarah Palin has endorsed the Republican. They include the California Senate race between Sen. Barbara Boxer and former Hewlett-Packard executive Carly Fiorina; a Minnesota House race that pits GOP Rep. Michele Bachmann against Democrat Tarryl Clark and the New Mexico governor’s race between Republican Susana Martinez and Democratic Lt. Gov. Diane Denish.

The group has just released a video of its own which serves as a get-out-the-vote effort and to help organize Emily’s List supporters to vote this November. Let’s watch these Democratic “Mama Grizzlies” devour the rancid tasting Sarah Palin.

Growwwlll!

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Georgie Girl song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bf8O1whEH5s

HEY THERE, SARAH GIRL

(sung to the Seekers song “Georgie Girl”)

Hey there, Sarah Girl
Are you G.O.P. or Tea Party?
It’s so clear to see that you must be the loneliest bear
You lie too

Hey there, Palin Girl
Why do Fox News boys think you’re so fly?
Could it be that they are high, or is it the clothes you wear?

You’re always Red State hopping and talking “death panel” lies
You’ll get nowhere by winking your eyes
You little twit

Hey there, Sarah Girl
Is that Hannity right by your side?
You both have a lot to hide and how very strange is he?
And can you see Putin, Sarah Girl?

(instrumental break)

Hey there, Palin Girl
Scheming up a way to earn a fee
No sense of reality, from it you can’t run away

Your fenced in lair’s been changing and you’re a strange thing yourself
And all you care about is your wealth
You little twit

Hey there, Sarah Girl
Is it with Glenn Beck that you confide?
Do you talk about Levi and what a pest he will be?
The world will see the true Palin Girl

Wake up Sarah Girl
Come on, Sarah Girl
Wake up Sarah girl

Levi Johnston Seeks Bully Pulpit

The mayor wears no clothes

Inasmuch as the final results of the numerous primary elections held Tuesday have not been released yet, Lynnrockets thought it might be fun to comment on another less heralded election bid. I’m sure that most of you have already heard that Sarah Palin’s once and future son-in-law Levi Johnston has announced his candidacy for Mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. It would appear that Johnston would like to follow closely in the footsteps of  the former half-term, ex-quitting Governor of Alaska and former Mayor of Wasilla. Not only is Johnston planning to run for mayor, but he is shopping a reality television series of his campaign at the same time. Even Sarah Palin never attempted such a blatant effort at cross-marketing and showboating. Palin’s reality television career did not take flight until well after she was embarrassingly defeated in the 2008 election.

If Johnston is elected, just imagine how proud the citizens of Wasilla will be to have yet another under-educated dolt running their city. What books might Levi choose to ban? Will Johnston have those same negotiating skills required to push through the construction of a tax-sucking civic building while at the same time having the developer secretly build him a house? Will he wear a three piece suit or his birthday suit? Perhaps we will learn the answers to these questions and more as Johnston’s campaign gets underway.

But what of the reality television series? It is tentatively titled “Loving Levi: The Road to the Mayor’s Office”. After failing in all of his previous attempts to land a series for himself, might this finally be Levi’s golden egg? Don’t count on it. “I’m just incredibly uninterested,” said one network’s executive in charge of unscripted programing. “We’ve seen him naked. We’ve heard him bash the Palins. What more is there that we need to know? He’s a cute kid but not the most interesting person to watch.” Another executive said, “I don’t think he’s a reality TV star. He just doesn’t pop; he’s not an interesting character. He doesn’t have a lot to say, no matter what his name is.” Ouch! If his show does get picked up by some obscure cable network (maybe Fox?), we can be sure that it will not be TLC, because as another TV executive has said, “They already picked their Palin.”

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Levon by Elton John song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lXOuZgm_eY

LEVI

(sung to the Elton John song “Levon”)

Levi is just like a circus clown
He just wants to please us
He should be ashamed
If he poses with his boxer shorts pulled down

Levi, Levi wants some money
He wants a lot they say
Spends his days hunting
When he’s not clubbing down in LA

He was born a pauper to his mom on the third of May
Bristol was his chum, she said, “let’s wed”
And they had a son
Tripp E. Johnston is that son today

And we still have Levi
And he is a manly man
And we still have Levi’s
Confrontations with the Palin Clan
And we still have Levi
Showing his full body tan
He shall be Levi

Levi plans to pull his whities down
He hopes his business thrives
He knows the magazines are gay
While claiming that he is not into guys

And Levi, he plans to show his penis
To anyone that will buy
Posing on a sailboat sailing
Sporting those,  hockey player thighs

He’ll be a showstopper not a bum by next Christmas day
First Dude will say, “where’s the support pay?”
And, “where is my gun?”
Levi, son, you’ll never get away

Yet we still have Levi
Sporting his full body tan
And we still have Levi
Pissin’ the Palins –off when he can
And we still have Levi
Spending time in Disney Land
He shall be Levi

And he shall be Levi
With that tattoo on his hand
And he shall be Levi
Avoiding Bristol is his new plan
And he shall be Levi
Posing for a hundred grand
He shall be Levi

The Palin/Johnston Half Hour Comedy Hour

Could we please have a "do over"?

It is now official. The Bristol Palin/Levi Johnston Half Hour Comedy Hour has been canceled. The on-again off-again engagement of the unwed pregnant former teens is off again (for now anyways). These two knuckleheads have now quit their relationship more often than mother Sarah Palin has quit a government position. The announcement was made by Bristol in typical Palin fashion via an interview with the tabloid People magazine. She said, “It’s over. I broke up with him”.  Wonder what she was paid for that quote?

Last week the story broke that the ill fated lovers’ engagement was on the rocks. It was speculated that either Levi impregnated one of Bristol’s friends or that he was still romantically involved with another of Bristol’s friends. Either of those scenarios would be enough to end most marriage plans but this is the crazy Palins that we are talking about. Bristol did not name either of those illicit transgressions as the cause of the break up. Rather, she said,

“The final straw was him flying to Hollywood for what he told me was to see some hunting show but come to find out it was that music video mocking my family. He’s just obsessed with the limelight and I got played.”

The music video referred to is one in which Levi will portray a young man driven away from his love interest by the young woman’s mother. Gee, that sounds rather autobiographical doesn’t it?

There is one person that must be thrilled with the break-up of the tabloid teens. It has been widely reported that Sarah Palin, the half term ex-quitting governor of Alaska, is contemplating a 2012 run for the Presidency. If such is the case, she could do without the continuing saga which would be certain to follow the unification of the Palin Hillbillies and the Johnston Bunch. On the other hand, if Levi is on the outs again, there is nothing to stop him from publishing his revenge inspired tell-all tome about the Palins. Oh, the suspense is delicious.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCU-XV77b64

BREAKING UP’S NOT HARD TO DO

(sung to the Neil Sedaka song “Breaking Up Is Hard To Do”)

Breaking up’s not hard to do

Please drive your truck away from me
You made both of us look damn silly
What’s a poor Palin to do?
Cuz breaking up’s not hard to do

We told the world that we were tight
We even planned our big wedding night
But my friends you had to screw
Breaking up’s not hard to do

They say that breaking up is hard to do
But with Levi, that’s just not true
This time I swear it’s the end
I’d like to pick him up and shove a hockey stick up his rear end

My dad, First Dude, would surely die
If I give Levi another try
And mom, Sarah, would blow a fuse
I’m breaking up again with you

I’ll say that breaking up is hard to do
When I’m asked to be on The View
I’ll say my heart’s on the mend
Then I’ll tell Elisabeth just how Levi knocked up my friend

To Baby Tripp, just say goodbye
I’ll tell him his dad’s another guy
His overnights with you are through
Our breaking up’s not hard to do

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