Category Archives: Laura Ingraham

A Saturday List To Think About And Comment Upon

Please read this list and then describe what thought comes to mind in the comment section:

  • Glenn Beck
  • Ron Paul
  • Rush Limbaugh
  • Donald Trump
  • Michelle Malkin
  • Newt Gingrich
  • Ann Coulter
  • Michele Bachmann
  • Sean Hannity
  • Sarah Palin
  • Laura Ingraham
  • Rand Paul
  • Tucker Carlson
  • Rudi Giuliani
  • Christine O’Donnell
  • Larry Craig
  • Michael Savage
  • David Vitter
  • Scott Brown
  • Dick Morris
  • Fox News
  • Dick Cheney
  • Tea Party

Here’s what comes to my mind:

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Strangers In The Night song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlSbSKNk9f0&feature=related

STRANGE ONES ON THE RIGHT

(sung to the Frank Sinatra song “Strangers In The Night”)

Strange ones on the right,
Fox News romancers
Not so very bright,
With our finances
This Tea Party love
Should be viewed as taboo

Palin shouting lies
And fear inciting
Rand Paul is hostile
And so damn frightening
Boehner has no heart
McConnell has no clue

Strange ones on the right,
Abnormal people
They are strange ones on the right
Not one sane moment
They should be in a freak-show
Little do they know
It would just enhance our day
If like Bristol they’d dance away and –

And on Fox every night,
They’re all together
Lovers on the right
In love forever
It’s an ugly sight
Those strange ones on the right

(Tea-Bagging break)

Don’t look now just glance away
Here comes their jailbird Tom Delay

You can join their fight
And hang together
Only if you’re white
Birds of a feather
Taking their last flight
Those strange ones on the right

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Palin To Receive “Just Desserts” For Attacks Against First Lady?

One is smart and one's a tart!

As was revealed last week, three national polls indicate that in a head-to-head match-up against Barack Obama for the 2012 Presidency, Palin would be shellacked. Each of those polls showed Obama winning by double digits with one poll giving him a whopping 22 point advantage. Palin admitted on Friday’s episode of Good Morning America that the poll results were “lousy”.

So what does the “Queen of Quit” do in an attempt to rehabilitate her blemished image? Does she “reload not retreat” and continue with her attacks against the President? Of course not. She now realizes that that tactic is failing. Consequently, the ex-former, quitting, half-term Governor of Alaska has set her sights on a different target. She can’t hurt the President personally, so she has now initiated a cat-fight and turned on his wife, the First Lady. Meow!

Is Palin unaware that Michelle Obama enjoys the highest positive ratings of just about anybody in the public eye? That means that it would be even more difficult to tarnish her public image than that of the President’s. Moreover, Palin has elected to criticize Michelle Obama’s signature public policy mission which is to educate families and children about the negative effects of obesity and help them to choose a more healthy diet. A sane rational person might deduce that the First Lady’s mission is both beneficial to the general health of our nation and wildly popular with parents who must compete on a daily basis with massive corporations touting sugar and fat laden foods that are tantamount to a heart attack in a box. A sane rational person might understand that obesity is pervasive as is evidenced by reality television shows such as “The Biggest Loser”. A sane rational person would also connect the dots and understand that a healthier population would help bring down the skyrocketing costs of medical treatment which are handcuffing our nation. A sane rational person, at the very least, would realize that promoting a healthy diet is not a bad thing. Sarah Palin however, is not a sane rational person.

In a blatant swipe at Ms. Obama in Sunday’s episode of her un-reality television show, “Sarah Palin’s Alaska”, Palin was shown making s’mores and she proclaims the marshmallow and chocolate treat is “in honor of Michelle Obama, who said the other day we should not have dessert.” Of course that is not in any way what the First Lady actually said. Sarah Palin of course, misconstrues the words of others as much as she butchers the English language. Michelle Obama actually said this,

“In the afternoon, there was no way we’d be allowed to lie around the house watching TV. Our parents made us get up and play outside. As I tell my kids, dessert is not a right.”

Once again, a sane rational person would understand that Michelle Obama was simply explaining that tasty desserts should be earned by physical activities which reduce the ill effects of the sugary treats. Once again however, Sarah Palin has demonstrated that she is not a sane rational person.

CNN informs us that this was not not the first time Palin has taken a job at Mrs. Obama over her campaign to discourage fattening foods, especially from public schools. The former vice presidential nominee told conservative talk radio host Laura Ingraham last month that “the first lady cannot trust parents to make decisions for their own children, for their own families in what we should eat.” Palin also hand-delivered cookies to a Pennsylvania school last month before delivering a speech there, saying: “Who should be deciding what I eat? Should it be government or should it be parents? It should be the parents.”

Sarah Palin is a buffoon. After all, what sane rational parent would object to healthy food being fed to their children at public school rather than unhealthy fat-laden foods? Would Palin also object to those school crossing guards on the grounds that, “Who should be deciding when my child crosses the street? Should it be government or should it be parents?” Probably.

In addition to the futility of her attacks against promoting a healthy diet for children, Palin has also been exposed as a hypocrite. Whatever happened to her edict that family members should be “off limits” in the world of political debate? Palin has violated her very own golden rule by attacking the President’s wife. After all, he is the elected official, not Michelle. What would her response be if Barack Obama criticized daughter Bristol’s teen abstinence campaign as “closing the door after the horse has fled the barn”? Would she play the victim card yet again? You betcha!

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ky4wu58XTr4

SARAH PALIN’S COMING TO TOWN

(sung to the Patti Page version of “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town”)

Get your wallet out
Wink and blink your eyes
Holler and shout
At protesting guys
Sarah Palin’s coming to town

Your town’s on her list
So you must play nice
And listen to Sarah P.’s advice
Sarah Palin’s coming to town

She’ll fleece you while your sleeping
Your money she will take
She’ll force you to purchase her book
Although the story’s fake

Oh, get your money out
So that you can buy
Can’t be without
Her book full of lies
Sarah Palin’s coming to town

Sarah Palin’s coming to town

Sarah Palin’s coming to town

The crap she serves is heaping
The truth she does forsake
The writing is so bad it’s good
For a laugh you should partake

Sarah Palin’s coming to town

Oh, don’t make Sarah pout
Don’t make Sarah cry
Don’t go without
Her book full of lies
Sarah Palin’s coming to town

Your town’s on her list
So you must play nice
And listen to Sarah P.’s advice
Sarah Palin’s coming to town

The crap she serves is heaping
The truth she does forsake
The writing is so bad it’s good
For a laugh you should partake

Oh, don’t make Sarah pout
Don’t make Sarah cry
Don’t go without
Her book full of lies
Sarah Palin’s coming to town

Right Wing Radio Awkwardly Silent About Olbermann

Now that the MSNBC/Keith Olbermann affair has been resolved, it is time to dissect and analyze conservative talk radio’s take on the situation. So, Hannity and Beck what do you have to say? Speak up, we cannot hear you? Huh? (cue up the chirping grasshopper sound effect).

As we all know by now, Keith Olbermann was briefly suspended by MSNBC when the network learned that he had made personal campaign contributions to Democratic Party candidates in violation of NBC News’ prohibition against such actions without prior network approval. NBC believes that such contributions serve to create a perception that its news department is not, dare we say, “fair and balanced”. NBC has every right to enforce company policy which it created to enhance the perception of unbiased news coverage. Fox News and right-wing talk radio, on the other hand, do not have any such policy. Those media outlets have gone “all in” on partisan cheerleading and have abandoned any pretense of unbiased news coverage. So what have the reich-wing radio personalities had to say about Keith Olbermann?

Sean Hannity refrained from discussing the Olbermann situation on his radio program. His silence spoke volumes. As Media Matters has revealed, Hannity has personally contributed to GOP candidates and regularly promotes and allows such candidates to use his show as a fundraising platform. The site exposed the following:

  • Teapublican Sharron Angle bragged that she would appear with Hannity as “part of our push” to raise $ 1 million (she lost);
  • Teapublican Christine O’Donnell was so certain of Hannity’s support that she boasted that she had him “in her back pocket” (she lost);
  • Hannity held a book signing at the Southern Republican Leadership Conference;
  • Hannity told Teapublican Meg Whitman on air that he hoped she wins (she lost);
  • Hannity made a $ 5,000.00 donation to Teapublican Michele “Moon-Bat Crazy” Bachmann’s political action committee; and
  • Hannity and his wife donated $ 9,600.00 to Republican John Gomez (he lost).

What about Glenn Beck? He too has been suspiciously silent on the subject. That is not surprising considering what the Wall Street Journal has revealed.

  • Beck has given paid radio endorsements to FreedomWorks, a Washington, D.C.-based libertarian advocacy group that worked closely with tea party groups to support dozens of conservative candidates;
  • Beck gave a backward endorsement to Teapublican Linda McMahon when he told his listeners, “Do not vote for Dick blumenthal” (she lost);
  • Beck said on air that he “agreed” with Sarah Palin’s endorsement of Teapublican Rand Paul; and
  • Beck asked Michele “Moon-Bat Crazy” Bachmann on air, “How can I help you raise money?” and “We should have a fundraiser for you, Michele”.

Anything from Rush Limbaugh? Nope. No surprise there given that he performs live-read radio commercials that urge listeners to join the Heritage Foundation, a conservative think tank, and he is pictured on the Heritage website, next to a headline that reads “Reinforce the Wave: Donate Today.” By the way, have you noticed that Limbaugh has also been silent on the topic of foreign money flooding into American election campaigns? Is that because he plans to finally keep his word and move to Costa Rica as he promised if Barack Obama was elected and heralded in such sweeping programs as Health Care and Financial reform? Let’s hope so.

Mark Levin? Well, you might recall that in 2008 he called for Olbermann to suspended because as he so eloquently phrased it, “I’m calling on MSNBC to suspend Keith Olbermann because in the middle of a war, I don’t think a phony journalist should be able to use his position to give aid and comfort to the enemy, and worse than that even, to smear the American GI. […].” Yet Levin was silent this time. Why? Well, The Wall Street Journal informs us that, “Americans for Prosperity, which spent tens of millions during the election to defeat dozens of Democratic incumbents, sponsors live-read advertisements by Mr. Levin, whose radio show reaches 8.5 million listeners.” He has also, “spoken at events sponsored by the group, wrote an introduction to an AFP distributed guide to campaign tactics.”

Laura Ingraham has said nothing either, but we can cut her a break because, strange as it may sound, she used to date Keith Olbermann. It’s true. Check it out.

Perhaps MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow summed up the situation best. She told the Daily News that Fox News has a history of “not just giving money to candidates, but actively endorsing campaigns and raising millions of dollars for politicians and political parties. Their network is run as a political operation. Ours isn’t. Yeah, Keith’s a liberal, and so am I. But we’re not a political operation – Fox is. We’re a news operation.”

Truer words have never been spoken.

Oh, and don’t forget to honor Veteran’s Day. Kiss a soldier!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

AM Radio song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDiCJkITtes&feature=player_embedded

RIGHT WING RADIO

(sung to the Everclear song “AM Radio”)

Portions of this lame programming are reproduced
By means of electronical transcriptions or tape recordings.

Radio
You can hear that bullshit on the right wing radio

There’s Ann Coulter and Sean Hannity
There’s lots of that Glenn Beck’s crap
Heavy on insanity

It’s simulcast along
The world wide webs

They’re pouring out pitchers full of Kool-Aid
Through the internets grid

Tea-Bagging clowns
On the air waves

Won’t talk to you if you’re black, young or gay

Limbaugh taught ‘em
The EIB chair
Is so toxic and vile
And it is unbalanced and unfair

Yo!
You must listen
To the poison on
That right wing radio (right wing radio, right wing radio)

Yeah… there’s no need for music
On right wing radio (right wing radio)

Savage is without a clue
Steers clear of every single neighborhood
In a state if that state is “Blue”

Malkin
Makes an ungodly sound
Crazy shit she’s into
Cruisin’ with that Glenn Beck clown

These nuts are broadcast across the nation
To the dumb and poor
Who mimic them like apes

They’re all right their at prime-time
Sean Hannity looks fried
Bill O’Reilly and that Sarah P. lie all goddamn night

Don’t lie in bed with the radio on
You will lose your sanity before long
When you hear Glenn Beck and his song

There’s lots of hate
And you can hear it
On that right wing radio (right wing radio, right wing radio)

Yeah… there’s no need for music
On right wing radio (right wing radio)

Listen to Limbaugh say
“Boy…Let’s bring Obama down!”

Oh no, “The Glenn Beck” show again.
I don’t wanna hear that show
Talk about “end times” and socialism, man, he such a fool
Turn it off
(Turn it off, turn it off, turn it off)

Sean Hannity is on at five
I feel like throwing up
When he spins
All that lame jive
Lives in a bubble where he is “the man”
Can’t be trusted
Cuz he lies
Like Glenn Beck and that’s a fact, man

Remember way back in two-thousand-seven
They said Romney and his cohorts
Would be leading us to heaven
If ol’ Rush Limbaugh
Could have had his way
“Operation Chaos”
Would have had Hilary Clinton
On election day
Hey!
Election day!
Hey!
No way!
Hey Rush, go away!

There must be a place we can tell them to go
A real hot place where they don’t have any snow
But they’re sure to have right wing radio

Huh-uh huh-uh huh-uh huh

Yeah, things get real stupid
On those stupid shows
The hosts are really daffy

There’s no need for music
On right wing radio (right wing radio)
There’s no need for music
On right wing radio (right wing radio)
There’s no need for music
On right wing radio (right wing radio, right wing radio)

Make it stop (right wing radio, right wing radio)…It grows old
Make it stop
Reminds me of bad disco
(right wing radio, right wing radio)

Make it stop (right wing radio, right wing radio)…It grows old
Make it stop
Reminds me of bad disco
(right wing radio, right wing radio)

Make it stop (right wing radio, right wing radio)…It grows old
Please make it stop
Reminds me of bad disco
(right wing radio, right wing radio)

Make it stop (right wing radio, right wing radio)…It grows old
Please make it stop
Reminds me of bad disco
(right wing radio, right wing radio)

Make it stop (right wing radio, right wing radio)…It grows old
Please make it stop
Reminds me of bad disco
(right wing radio, right wing radio)

Reminds me of bad disco (right wing radio)
Reminds me of bad disco (right wing radio)
Reminds me of bad disco (right wing radio)
…No I never liked (right wing radio) disco! (right wing radio)
Nooooo (right wing radio) oooooo! (right wing radio)
(right wing radio, right wing radio)
Nooooooo!
(right wing radio, right wing radio)

Spread The Butter Cuz Sarah Palin Is Toast

 

If you're finished and you know it, clap your hands!

 

To all the Palinbots out there, it is time to face the ugly truth. Sarah Palin is no longer the flavor of the month. Her moment has passed. Her star has flamed out. Her influence has waned. She is quickly becoming an “also ran”. A loser.

Like so many flashes in the pan before her, Sarah Palin captured the attention of this nation for a short while. When she was chosen as John McCain’s running-mate in 2008, nobody had ever heard of her. That anonymity alone made her interesting. “Who is this person that may be second in line for the presidency?” the national media and the rest of us wondered.

The interest increased on a daily basis as more and more of her dirty little secrets were revealed. The “abstinence only” born again Christian has a pregnant unwed teen daughter? It took her 6 years at 5 mediocre colleges to earn a mere bachelor’s degree? She tried to have her brother-in-law fired from his job as an Alaskan State Trooper? She inquired about banning books at the local library? She had a witch doctor drive demons from her body? She chose her children’s names by throwing a dart at a dictionary page? (OK, we made that one up, but it fits in perfectly well with the rest). You have to admit, this was interesting stuff. Sarah Palin’s life resembled the perfect marriage between a Lifetime channel cable TV movie and an episode of the Beverly Hillbillies.

“Enquiring minds” wanted to know about every wacky detail of this crazy woman’s entertaining life. We were not disappointed. Soon we learned about “bridges to nowhere” and “thanks but no thanks”. Her disastrous nationally televised interviews gave us the hilarious gifts of “you can see Russia from Alaska”, “I’ll have’ta get back to ya on that”, and the now famous “all of ’em any of ’em”. She even introduced us to some new sidekicks such as the “pitbull with lipstick”, “Joe Sixpack” and her new BFF, “Joe the Plumber”.

Despite the fact that Palin’s antics entertained us throughout the presidential campaign, the fact is that a vast majority of Americans did not take her seriously. Her ticket lost in an epic landslide and it would have been best for America if she disappeared ala Dan Quayle. But such was not the case. We may have been done with Palin, but she was not done with us. In short, she refused to go away.

She found a willing loudspeaker for her hate-fueled radically conservative rhetoric at the insane asylum known as Fox News. The network’s uneducated, brainwashed audience rabidly ingested every unintelligible sentence that Palin vomited. Sarah Palin became the pied piper of the misinformed masses and she relished her status. So, in July 2009 she quit her day job as Governor of Alaska (after only having served for one half of one term), hired a ghostwriter to pen her fictitious memoir and embarked on a nationwide fee-based book signing and public speaking tour. Always in demand, Palin spoke at such prestigious events as the Liquor Wholesalers Convention, the Bowling Convention and the highly coveted Battery Back-up Sump Pump Convention. The sky was the limit.

There was one little problem, however. The national Republican leadership was not so enamored with Palin. After having just been trounced in the nationwide elections, the G.O.P. was inclined to distance itself somewhat from this eccentric curiosity in its quest to rebuild a solid constituency. The party leadership did not want to consider the possibility of Sarah Palin representing them on the Sunday morning television news programs. They moved on.

Enter the Tea Party. The misinformed masses that watch Fox News and listen to the likes of Rush Limbaugh, Ann “the Man” Coulter and Laura Ingraham began to gather their pitchforks and torches and coalesce around the idea that they could take over the Republican Party and reform it in their image of racism, violence, fear and anarchy. Sarah Palin encouraged this malleable group of uneducated nitwits with talk of “death panels”, “reloading” and the “lamstream media” It was all “us against them” and the Tea-Baggers not only took the poison, but they appointed Sarah Palin as their de-facto Queen.

She willingly accepted the title. Then, when Palin learned of the sophomoric means of communication known as “The Twitter” and “Facebook”, she began to issue edicts to her minions on a daily basis and in a crude form of semi-English that they could understand. She ordered them to support her hand-picked assortment of radically fringe yet ultimately unelectable candidates who she referred to as “Mama Grizzlies”. And her subjects followed orders.

The Palin led Tea-Baggers vaulted candidates to primary election victories over mainstream Republican candidates despite their radical (and sometimes insane) objectives such as repealing the 10th and 14th Amendments, privatizing Social Security, removing fluoride from the nation’s water supply, banning abortions for victims of rape and incest, forcing elders to pay $ 2,000.00 Medicare deductibles and “horror of horrors” banning masturbation. Sarah Palin climbed out onto a very thin limb by personally endorsing these very high profile eccentric candidates and by doing so, she put her own credibility on the line.

Palin’s credibility has now been destroyed. On election day the nation’s voters said “no” to Sharron “2nd Amendment remedies” Angle. The voters said “no” to Christine “Masturbation is Adultery” O’Donnell. The voters said “no” to Linda “Women are Sex Objects” McMahon. The voters said “no” to Carly “Worst CEO in History” Fiorina. The voters said “no” to Meg “Illegal Housekeeper” Whitman. The voters said “no” to John “Lasers in the Sky” Raese. The voters said “no” to Sean “Privatize Social Security” Bielat. The voters said “no” to Tom “Let’s Bomb Mecca” Tancredo. The voters said “no” to Ken “No Abortion For Rape Victims” Buck. The voters said “no” to Dino “Repeal Wall Street Reform” Rossi. And, it looks like the voters will say “no” to Joe “Dump Social Security” Miller. In short, Sarah Palin was “refudiated” in a big way.

Even someone over at ever-friendly Fox News has now turned against Sarah Palin. On Thursday Mort Kondracke said, “She’s a joke even within her own party. The idea that she would be the presidential nominee is unthinkable.”

The lesson learned is that Sarah Palin is widely popular among a small group of radically misinformed fanatics, but her ideas and endorsements carry very little weight with the voting population as a whole. To the mainstream American voter, Sarah Palin is nothing more than an entertaining and curiously magnetic oddity much like the sympathy inducing side-show freaks of days gone by. We like being entertained by her antics but we have no desire to participate in her stage show or to be subject to her leadership in any capacity. That is why most of us hope that she runs for president in 2012. We know that we will enjoy the benefit of being amused while simultaneously being comforted by the fact that she has no chance of damaging the country by being elected.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

I’m A Loser song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXHO7hScOCA

SHE’S A LOSER

(sung to the Beatles song “I’m A Loser”)

She’s a loser
She’s a loser
Palin’s just what she appears to be

Of the elections she’s won, more have lost
Tea Party honor has come at a cost
She called both Angle and Miller a friend
But her endorsement hurt them in the end

She’s a loser
And a victim of the Tea Party
She’s a loser
Now she’s hated by the G.O.P.

Sarah P. talks and she acts like a clown
She’s been rejected by nude-boy Scott Brown
The jeers are falling like rain from the sky
She can’t be saved by the wink of her eye

She’s a loser
Like the members of the Tea Party
She’s a loser
And she’s only out to make a fee

(Russia viewing break)

She loves to spread her politics of hate
When she got caught she just quit on her state
Oh yes it’s true, she is in a free fall
Palin is screwed like a fish to the wall

She’s a loser
And she lost again so recently
She’s a loser
For some proof just turn on Fox TV

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 47

Just a few newsworthy events and comments thereon that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day.

BREAKING NEWS: Mediaputz.com says, “It’s getting so competitive among the vast army of right wing media shills that it’s becoming increasingly hard to get attention as flavors of the month come and go.  Right now Glenn Beck is the corporate media darling, so you don’t hear much from Ann Coulter and Laura Ingraham, for in stance, or Michelle Malkin. Even Bill O’Reilly has become more of a right wing “senior statesman” as compared to the schizophrenic, psychotic, demagogic performance artist known as Beck.

So it must be hard for a B-team winger, such as Laura Schlessinger, to get attention and keep her radio show ratings up.  Maybe that explains why she said what is known as the “n-word” 11 times in 5 minutes to a black caller who was inquiring how to handle racial slights from relatives and friends of her husband, who is white.  Basically, Schlessinger told the caller to get a thicker skin and unleashed a barrage of the “N” word to firmly establish her point and garner a lot of publicity, which she did.  It was the right wing media outrage of the day as far as corporate mainstream media news coverage and the blogosphere.  Mission accomplished, Laura!” Let’s listen to the tape, shall we?

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “The Numbers Do Not Lie” co-stars both Barack Obama and George W. Bush. The next time some crazy conservative tells you that Barack Obama vacations too frequently, repeat these facts. Dur­ing his first year in office, Barack Obama took 26 vaca­tion days. Dur­ing their first years in office, George W. Bush took 69, Bill Clin­ton 21, George H.W. Bush 40, Ronald Rea­gan 42 and Jimmy Carter 21. Trips to Camp David, which were not included as vaca­tion days, were: Obama 27 days, George W. Bush, 78 days.

BREAKING NEWS: Remember Republican Vice President Dan “Potatoe” Quayle? If you do not, here is a little refresher video.

Well, the apple does not fall far from the tree. Mr. Potatoe-Head’s son, Ben Quayle is a Republican congressional candidate in Arizona. In a televised campaign ad, the younger Quayle recently said that Barack Obama is “the worst President in history”. Those are awfully strong words coming from the little spud that claims he is an outsider and will be “a new generation in Washington” when the facts are that he has held three jobs in four years, posed for pictures in campaign literature with children who were not his and grew up in Washington with a famous father, former Vice President Dan Quayle, whose influential friends have given generously to the younger Quayle’s campaign. Oh, we almost forgot, he also lied about the fact that he had once been a contributing writer for Dirty Scottsdale, a raunchy, sex-themed website that covered the club scene in his adopted hometown before morphing into the national gossip site TheDirty.com.

But perhaps DNC spokesman Brad Woodhouse sized up the young Quayle best when he said,
The son of the worst vice president ever may think he has some wisdom on the job performance of political leaders, but if he thinks a president whose actions have saved the country from a second Great Depression, reformed a broken health care system and protected consumers from the risk and greed of Wall Street merits such mention, his analysis is only slightly less ridiculous than his candidacy for public office is.

Ouch! Take that, Ben “Spuds” Quayle!
THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Why Do People Insist That Conservatives Are Violent” features shock jock Hal Turner. He was convicted on Friday of threatening to kill three federal judges in Chicago, Illinois, in retaliation for a ruling they made that upheld handgun bans, government officials said. In 2009 Turner posted the following on his blog, “Let me be the first to say this plainly: These judges deserve to be killed.” The post included photographs of the judges, their phone numbers, addresses and a map of the building where they work. Just another example of the deranged and dangerous mindset of the conservative movement.
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody which is a version of the Tea Party National Anthem.

Twist And Shout song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUrOMB-iBLk&feature=related

BITCH AND SHOUT

(sung to The Beatles version of the song “Twist And Shout”)

Well, make it up, ladies, now (make it up, ladies)
Bitch and shout (bitch and shout)
C’mon, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon, ladies, now (come on ladies)
Know what you’re talkin’ about (talking about)

Start spreadin’ some doubt, honey (spreadin’ some doubt)
Wear your pillowcase hood (pointy hood)
You got the bullshit flowin’ now (bullshit flowin’)
And you’re sportin’ some wood (didn’t know you could)

Just make it up, baby, now (make it up, baby)
Bitch and shout (bitch and shout)
C’mon, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon, baby, now (come on baby)
You got to start spreadin’ doubt (start spreading doubt)

Just show your twisted little world (shit little world)
Hold up your twisted sign (twisted sign)
Go on up, bitch a little closer, now (bitch a little closer)
And just hold that party line (hold that party line)

Ah
Ahh
Ahhh
Ahhhh
Ahhhhh

Yeah, you’re frothing like rabies, now (frothing like rabies)
Bitch and shout (bitch and shout)
C’mon, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon, baby, now (come on baby)
Jumping and screeching out loud (screaming out loud)

Just show your twisted little world (shit little world)
Hold up your twisted sign (twisted sign)
Go on up, bitch a little closer, now (bitch a little closer)
And just hold that party line (hold that party line)

Well, fake it, fake it, fake it, baby, now (make it up, baby)
Well, fake it, fake it, fake it, baby, now (make it up, baby)
Well, fake it, fake it, fake it, baby, now (make it up, baby)

Ah
Ahh
Ahhh
Ahhhh

Mother’s Day Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 36

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you that may be mothers. For the rest of you, please do something nice for your own mothers on her special day. You have no way of knowing how many more of these days you will have the opportunity to share together. Make the most of all of them.

OK, no more proselytizing. Let’s have some fun. Rather than the usual recap of newsworthy events from the last week, today’s post will provide a list of appropriate Mother’s Day gifts for a bunch of well known conservative women. Please feel free to add to the list in the comment section. Let’s roll…

Barbara Bush:  A “do over” regarding son George W.

Ann Coulter: A definitive male or female sexual status.

Carrie Jean Prejean:  A map of the United States.

Condoleezza Rice: A “Where’s Condi?” placemat.

Michelle Malkin:  Non-“Anchor-Baby” status.

Ohio Rep. Jean Schmidt:  An official “Birther” T-shirt.

Laura Bush: A Stepford Sister.

Conservative radio pundit Laura Ingraham: A more feminine voice.

Congressional candidate Carly Fiorina: An endorsement from Hewlett Packard directors and shareholders.

Greta Van Susteren:  A contestant’s spot on tv’s Extreme Makeover.

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer:  An all expenses paid trip to Mexico.

Liz Cheney:  A chance to show her courage via a stint in the U.S. Army.

Michele Bachmann:  An unlimited prescription of Thorazine.

Elizabeth Hasselbeck:  Employment with Fox News.

Bristol Palin:  A time machine.

Sarah Palin: An English/Palin – Palin/ English dictionary.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

American Woman song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9o8SUSy_tY

REPUBLICAN WOMEN

(sung to the Guess Who song “American Woman”)

Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women, they’ve really lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds

Say “R”, say “E”, say “P”
Say “L”, say “I”, say “C”
Say “A” “N”

Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds

Republican women, stay away from me
Republican women, from the G.O.P.
You are someone I’ll just ignore
I don’t wanna see your face no more
I got more important things to do
And I will never be sold on you

Now women, I said stay away

Republican women, listen what I say

Republican women, have no dignity
Republican women, and their tea-parties
Like I told you the time before
Michele Bachmann is just a bore
Mann Coulter I do despise
Malkin has a lazy eye
Now women, I said get away
Republican women, listen what I say

Republican women, it’s clear as day
Republican women, they’re no Tina Fey
Talk about defending our shores
Their husbands prefer time with whores
Jean Schmidt always makes a scene
Sarah Palin thinks she’s queen
Mary Matalin’s hypnotized
Ingraham’s mouth is super-sized
Now women, from the G.O.P.
Republican women, mama let me be

Go, gotta get away, gotta get away
Now go go go
Gonna leave you, women
Gonna leave you, women
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
You’re no good for me
I’m no good for you
Gonna look you right in the eye.
Tell you what I’m gonna do
You know I’m gonna leave
You know I’m gonna go
You know I’m gonna leave
You know I’m gonna go, women
I’m gonna leave, women
Goodbye, Republican women

A Tasty Morsel From The Meg Whitman Sampler

Meg Whitman: California's next Republican Governor?

Meg Whitman: California's next Governor?

Republican candidate for Governor of California, Meg Whitman is a disaster. This is a woman that is seeking the highest elective office in the nation’s most populous state even though she has failed to cast a vote in most every election since she reached the age of majority. She is often credited with piloting the internet auction site Ebay to extraordinary growth and success. Perhaps then, if elected she will act like most every other Republican politician and auction herself off to the highest corporate bidder.

Whitman pulled a doozy this week when she called a press conference and then refused to give the press access to the event let alone the opportunity to ask questions. Last Thursday she announced an “open press” stop in Oakland. Reporters from television, print and radio media showed up at the event at a Union Pacific Railroad facility. Once there however, the reporters were herded into a room and not allowed to view her tour of the facility. Thereafter, her staffers announced that she would take no questions from the press.

If this nutjob is elected, Californians should have their heads examined.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

American Woman song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9o8SUSy_tY

REPUBLICAN WOMEN

(sung to the Guess Who song “American Woman”)

Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women, they’ve really lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds

Say “R”, say “E”, say “P”
Say “L”, say “I”, say “C”
Say “A” “N”

Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds

Republican women, stay away from me
Republican women, from the G.O.P.
You are someone I’ll just ignore
I don’t wanna see your face no more
I got more important things to do
And I will never be sold on you

Now women, I said stay away

Republican women, listen what I say

Republican women, have no dignity
Republican women, and their tea-parties
Like I told you the time before
Michele Bachmann is just a bore
Mann Coulter I do despise
Malkin has a lazy eye
Now women, I said get away
Republican women, listen what I say

Republican women, it’s clear as day
Republican women, they’re no Tina Fey
Talk about defending our shores
Their husbands prefer time with whores
Jean Schmidt always makes a scene
Sarah Palin thinks she’s queen
Mary Matalin’s hypnotized
Ingraham’s mouth is super-sized

Now women, from the G.O.P.
Republican women, mama let me be

Go, gotta get away, gotta get away
Now go go go
Gonna leave you, women
Gonna leave you, women
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
Bye-bye

You’re no good for me
I’m no good for you
Gonna look you right in the eye.
Tell you what I’m gonna do
You know I’m gonna leave
You know I’m gonna go
You know I’m gonna leave
You know I’m gonna go, women

I’m gonna leave, women
Goodbye, Republican women

Rush Limbaugh’s Holiday Death Squads

The Twelve Days of Christmas Song Parodies continues…

Rush Limbaugh and right-wing hate radio are inciting a new wave of holiday season violence this year. Bloomberg reports that the Chief Diversity Officer of the U.S. Federal Communications Commission (the FCC) has received death threats resulting from on-air and website criticism by Limbaugh. The FCC officer is Mark Lloyd and Limbaugh has said that he is planning to bring back the “fairness doctrine” to broadcast media through a “backdoor route”. The doctrine, which required broadcasters to air opposing political views was rescinded in 1987. Lloyd said, “The right-wing smear campaign has been, in a word, incredible, generating hate mail and death threats.” Lloyd also said he didn’t have a count of the death threats, which  came by e-mail, letter and telephone calls. The threats were referred to FCC security workers.

In a telephone interview with Glenn Beck on Fox News Channel, Limbaugh said, “The things he’s talking about doing to shut down radio are simply un-American. It’s not enough to say that it’s not constitutional.” Of the death threats to Lloyd, Limbaugh sympathetically said, “I know that guy doesn’t get near the amount of death threats that I do.”

Lloyd maintains that Limbaugh and other right-wing pundits distort the facts and misinform their audience. He says that his plans for the FCC are to develop a national plan to increase use of high-speed Internet, which is due to be addressed by Congress in February. He went on to say, “I am not at the FCC to restore the fairness doctrine through the front door or the back door, or to carry out a secret plot funded by George Soros to get rid of Rush Limbaugh or Glenn Beck or any other conservative talk show host.”

If Limbaugh, Beck, Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, Laura Ingraham, Bill OReilly and Boston’s Jay Severin and Michael Graham do not temper their on-air hate filled rhetoric, they will all have blood on their hands when someone is maimed or killed by an impressionable member of their audience. That then might become exactly the impetus to re-institute the “fairness doctrine”. If that happens, the right-wing Bloviators in Chief will have nobody to blame but themselves.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s holiday song parody.

Hark The Herald Angels Sing song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbdvo019mgM

HARK, THE DITTO-HEADS DO SING

(sung to the Amy Grant version of “Hark The Herald Angels Sing”)

Hark, the ditto-heads do sing
“Glory to Limbaugh our King!”
On the left he is reviled
Cuz he behaves like a child
On those islands where he flies
With Viagra he does rise
His tired old act is just a game
Intended to bring him fame
Hark, the ditto-heads do sing
“Glory to Limbaugh our King!”

When Rush speaks he only lies
Unlike Beck he does not cry
Rush has an expansive girth
He is shaped like planet earth
Former wives have numbered three
He prefers his Oxy-C
Right-wing drivel he does sell
From his brainless empty shell
Hark, the ditto-heads do sing
“Glory to Limbaugh our King!”

(musical interlude)

He calls his show the E.I.B.
It’s all about me, me, me
Of his fame, he often sings
While taking credit for all things
Yet, by most he is ignored
Like a little mouse that roared
With nothing beneath his dome
He emits a rabid foam
Hark, the ditto-heads do sing
“Glory to Limbaugh our King!”

Little (Republican) Women

Need we say any more?
Need we say any more?

Those of us here at Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off do not want to appear sexist, but honestly folks, have you ever considered the absurdity of Republican women? They are a group that seems to have, as Glenn Beck would say, ” a deep seated hatred of women.” They voluntarily joined a political party that is against equal pay for women in the workplace. They also would like to deny women free choice in matters involving pregnancy. We understand that many women oppose abortion, but having the ability to choose the procedure would not force any woman to choose abortion. She could just as easily choose to have the child. You see, that is the choice they would have. They could choose what medical procedure they deemed best for themselves. But no, Republican women believe that women are incapable of making an informed decision in their own best interest. Best leave those decisions to the government that they so allegedly despise.

Is it any wonder then that in an attempt to find a leader of their own gender, these Republican women have chosen Sarah Palin? Has there ever been a woman that more vocally railed against women’s rights than she? From advocating against gender equal pay to charging victims for police rape kits, Palin has demonstrated time and again that she believes women do not have the right to equality or the ability to perform at the same level as men. Perhaps that is the reason why she needed Todd “First Dude” Palin to run the Governor’s Office for her during the short time that she occupied it.

Let’s also consider Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann and Ohio Congresswoman Jean Schmidt. Bachmann is an absolute nut job that lacks any outward appearance of intelligence, but let’s let her tell us a little bit about herself in her own words,

“I look at the Scripture and I read it and I take it for what it is. I give more credence in the Scripture as being kind of a timeless word of God to mankind, and I take it for what it is. And I don’t think I give as much credence to my own mind, because I see myself as being very limited and very flawed, and lacking in knowledge, and wisdom and understanding. So, I just take the Bible for what it is, I guess, and recognize that I am not a scientist, not trained to be a scientist. I’m not a deep thinker on all of this. I wish I was. I wish I was more knowledgeable, but I’m not a scientist.” – Michele Bachmann interviewing with Todd Fiel at KKMS as quoted in the Stillwater Gazette, September 29, 2003.

Now let’s consider Jean Schmidt. In fact let’s look at a few of her quotes to see if we can find some intelligent thought,

“I pledge to … refrain from name-calling or the questioning of character, … Harsh words often lead to headlines, but walking this path is not a victimless crime. This great House pays the price.”

Followed by,

“He asked me to send Congress a message: Stay the course, … He also asked me to send Congressman Murtha a message: that cowards cut and run, marines never do.”

Followed by,

“There’s no way that I remotely tried to impugn his character.”

Nope. No sign of intelligent life there.

American Woman song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leSdvfYcDw0

REPUBLICAN WOMEN

(sung to the Guess Who song “American Woman”)

Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women, they’ve really lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds

Say “R”, say “E”, say “P”
Say “L”, say “I”, say “C”
Say “A” “N”

Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds

Republican women, stay away from me
Republican women, from the G.O.P.
You are someone I’ll just ignore
I don’t wanna see your face no more
I got more important things to do
And I will never be sold on you

Now women, I said stay away

Republican women, listen what I say

Republican women, have no dignity
Republican women, and their tea-parties
Like I told you the time before
Michele Bachmann is just a bore
Mann Coulter I do despise
Malkin has a lazy eye
Now women, I said get away
Republican women, listen what I say

Republican women, it’s clear as day
Republican women, they’re no Tina Fey
Talk about defending our shores
Their husbands prefer time with whores
Jean Schmidt always makes a scene
Sarah Palin thinks she’s queen
Mary Matalin’s hypnotized
Ingraham’s mouth is super-sized
Now women, from the G.O.P.
Republican women, mama let me be

Go, gotta get away, gotta get away
Now go go go
Gonna leave you, women
Gonna leave you, women
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
You’re no good for me
I’m no good for you
Gonna look you right in the eye.
Tell you what I’m gonna do
You know I’m gonna leave
You know I’m gonna go
You know I’m gonna leave
You know I’m gonna go, women
I’m gonna leave, women
Goodbye, Republican women

Tweedle Dumb And Tweedle Dumber (McCain and Malkin)

Michell Malkin posing for college yearbook photo.

Michelle Malkin posing for college yearbook photo.

Meghan McCain with Dad at Republican Convention.

Meghan McCain with Dad at Republican Convention.

This week on Celebrity Deathmatch, the feisty femme fatal from Philadelphia, “Malicious Michelle” Malkin vs. the ferocious philly from Phoenix, “Mavericky Meghan” McCain. And the Republicans think that only the Democratic Party can boast of “talented, tiny starlets.” This latest battle between female Republican pundits or spokeswomen resembles a teenage girl schoolyard cat fight. MEOW!

Of late, Meghan McCain (erstwhile daughter of former Republican Presidential nominee, John McCain) has advocated that the Republican Party should attempt to include more “moderates” in effort to stem its diminishing membership and become competitive in elections once again. She believes that by catering to its small conservative base, the party has become increasingly more irrelevant.

Uber-conservative pundit Michelle Malkin’s response? “Shut up!” How clever a retort.

To add fuel to the fire, McCain then said that although Malkin’s latest book rides atop the New York Times Best Seller List, McCain reaches far more people with her views because her Twitter followers more than double in number those of Malkin. Now them’s certainly fightin’ words.

The winner of this week’s battle will square off next week with the winner of the much anticipated Laura Ingraham vs. Ann Coulter pairing in their mixed sex match-up. Stay tuned.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to have more fun singing along.

We Can Work It Out song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HT2hElMqlFs

THEY CAN’T WORK IT OUT

(sung to The Beatles song “We Can Work It Out”)

Try to see Malkin’s way
All she does is keep on squawking till she can’t go on
Try to see McCain’s way
Just a kid foregoing all the love of neocons

They can’t work it out
They can’t work it out

All Meghan is saying
Neocons were wrong and moved way too far to the right
But Michelle is saying
McCain’s a kid that must learn to hate with lips locked tight

They can’t work it out
They can’t work it out

No one shall abort for it’s a crime
Keep fussing and fighting, my friends
G.O.P. group thought by Fox is fine
Broadcast from six till after ten

But to see Malkin’s way
So easy to tell that the far right is so damn wrong
She can’t see McCain’s way
And the chance that the right will fall apart before too long

They can’t work it out
They can’t work it out

Sight is very short in Malkin time
Nonplussing and fighting with friends
McCain’s only thought, not worth a dime
But she still “tweets” time and again

They should hit the highway
They emit a smell that is both ripe and very strong
Passing through a doorway
That will hit them in the ass as we shout out, “So Long!”

They can’t work it out
They can’t work it out