Category Archives: George W. Bush

Sunday Mid-Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 50

Just a few newsworthy events (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful Labor Day Weekend, but be careful of those eggs!

BREAKING NEWS: Minnesota Governor Tim (Good ‘n) Pawlenty is in hot water with his own contituants. According to the new survey from Minnesota Public Radio and the Humphrey Institute, 54 percent of Minnesotans aren’t too keen on the governor’s frequent out of state trips, which usually include visits to important presidential nominating states. Only 31 percent of voters approve of his busy travel schedule. In even worse news for Pawlenty, the poll indicates Minnesota Republicans apparently would prefer Mitt Romney as their presidential choice than their own governor. Stacked up against Romney, Pawlently loses 45-32 percent. In a matchup against Sarah Palin, Pawlenty comes out on top 59-24 percent. Bad news for Pawlenty, but does Palin ever, ever, ever come out on top in any poll?

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Republicans Making Unexpected Comparisons” features Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour. When asked last week if his southern accent might be a hindrance to a candidate running a national race dependent on support from the northeast and coasts, Barbour cited the examples of former Presidents Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton. Wait a minute! Did a Republican just make a positive reference and self comparison to Jimmy Carter? This is the end of the world as we know it.

BREAKING NEWS: New Orleans Mayor Mitch Landrieu weighed in on the contentious race for Senate in Nevada on Wednesday, criticizing Republican candidate Sharron Angle for saying in 2005 that she would have voted against funding for Katrina relief efforts. Landrieu said Angle “is simply too extreme and dangerous to serve in the United States Senate.” Truer words were never spoken.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “I Couldn’t Have Said It Better Myself” features former British Prime Minister Tony Blair who wrote in his recently released memoirs, that he hails former President George W. Bush’s “immense Simplicity”. “Nuff said.

BREAKING NEWS: Speaking of Sarah Palin and recent polls, Politico.com reports,

Even after watching her preferred candidate surprisingly triumph in Alaska’s Senate race, Sarah Palin’s home state is no sure thing for the former governor as she trails former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney in a hypothetical 2012 matchup, according to a new poll. Only 17 percent of the 805 Alaska Republicans surveyed by Public Policy Polling said they would back Palin in a 2012 GOP primary, the same percentage who voiced support for former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee. Former Massachusetts Governor Mitt(wit) Romney led the field, garnering 20 percent.

“Fortunately for Sarah Palin, Alaska decides few convention delegates, and coming more than a month after Super Tuesday, she may not survive the race to be embarrassed on her home turf,” said Dean Debnam, president of Public Policy Polling.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Queen of the Guillotine” features Arizona Governor, Jan Brewer. You might remember last June when her state’s racial profiling immigration law was all the rage, Brewer defended it by alleging that there had been beheadings in the Arizona desert as a result of rampant illegal immigration. Problem is, she lied. Medical examiners from six of Arizona’s counties, several of which boarder Mexico, later told the Arizona Guardian that they had never witnessed victims who had been beheaded. For four months Brewer has been asked to provide evidence of beheadings in her state yet she did not comply. Finally, she took back her words and provided something like an apology to the Associated Press. She said, “That was an error, if I said that.” No, Ms. Brewer it was an error when (not “if”) you said it. In fact why don’t you just come clean and say that it was a premeditated lie when you said it?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody which features the whole bunch of conservatives.

California Dreamin’ song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xN9r0bWe78

CONSERVATIVE DREAMIN’

(sung to the Mamas & The Papas song “California Dreamin’”)

All their shirts are brown
(All their shirts are brown)
And their hair is grey
(And their hair is grey)
Listen to them talk
(Listen to them talk)
As they loudly pray
(As they loudly pray)
Scandal is their norm
(Scandal is their norm)
They have one every day
(They have one every day)
Conservative dreamin’
(Conservative dreamin’)
And politics of hate

Members of John Birch
Some won’t admit they’re gay
But when they get down on their knees
(Get down on their knees)
That’s when they like to play
(When they like to play)
These slimy creatures should be told
(Creatures should be told)
Membership’s gone away
(Members gone away)
Conservative dreamin’
(Conservative dreamin’)
Has led them all astray

(musical interlude)

Glenn Beck is a clown
(Glenn Beck is a clown)
What does Limbaugh weigh?
(What does Limbaugh weigh?)
Palin cannot talk
(Palin cannot talk)
She’s no Tina Fey
(She’s no Tina Fey)
Somebody should tell her
(Somebody should tell her)
To just go away
(To just go away)
Conservative dreamin’
(Conservative dreamin’)
Has become so cliché
(Conservative dreamin’)
Has lost all its cache´
(Conservative dreamin’)
Drives voters all away

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 47

Just a few newsworthy events and comments thereon that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day.

BREAKING NEWS: Mediaputz.com says, “It’s getting so competitive among the vast army of right wing media shills that it’s becoming increasingly hard to get attention as flavors of the month come and go.  Right now Glenn Beck is the corporate media darling, so you don’t hear much from Ann Coulter and Laura Ingraham, for in stance, or Michelle Malkin. Even Bill O’Reilly has become more of a right wing “senior statesman” as compared to the schizophrenic, psychotic, demagogic performance artist known as Beck.

So it must be hard for a B-team winger, such as Laura Schlessinger, to get attention and keep her radio show ratings up.  Maybe that explains why she said what is known as the “n-word” 11 times in 5 minutes to a black caller who was inquiring how to handle racial slights from relatives and friends of her husband, who is white.  Basically, Schlessinger told the caller to get a thicker skin and unleashed a barrage of the “N” word to firmly establish her point and garner a lot of publicity, which she did.  It was the right wing media outrage of the day as far as corporate mainstream media news coverage and the blogosphere.  Mission accomplished, Laura!” Let’s listen to the tape, shall we?

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “The Numbers Do Not Lie” co-stars both Barack Obama and George W. Bush. The next time some crazy conservative tells you that Barack Obama vacations too frequently, repeat these facts. Dur­ing his first year in office, Barack Obama took 26 vaca­tion days. Dur­ing their first years in office, George W. Bush took 69, Bill Clin­ton 21, George H.W. Bush 40, Ronald Rea­gan 42 and Jimmy Carter 21. Trips to Camp David, which were not included as vaca­tion days, were: Obama 27 days, George W. Bush, 78 days.

BREAKING NEWS: Remember Republican Vice President Dan “Potatoe” Quayle? If you do not, here is a little refresher video.

Well, the apple does not fall far from the tree. Mr. Potatoe-Head’s son, Ben Quayle is a Republican congressional candidate in Arizona. In a televised campaign ad, the younger Quayle recently said that Barack Obama is “the worst President in history”. Those are awfully strong words coming from the little spud that claims he is an outsider and will be “a new generation in Washington” when the facts are that he has held three jobs in four years, posed for pictures in campaign literature with children who were not his and grew up in Washington with a famous father, former Vice President Dan Quayle, whose influential friends have given generously to the younger Quayle’s campaign. Oh, we almost forgot, he also lied about the fact that he had once been a contributing writer for Dirty Scottsdale, a raunchy, sex-themed website that covered the club scene in his adopted hometown before morphing into the national gossip site TheDirty.com.

But perhaps DNC spokesman Brad Woodhouse sized up the young Quayle best when he said,
The son of the worst vice president ever may think he has some wisdom on the job performance of political leaders, but if he thinks a president whose actions have saved the country from a second Great Depression, reformed a broken health care system and protected consumers from the risk and greed of Wall Street merits such mention, his analysis is only slightly less ridiculous than his candidacy for public office is.

Ouch! Take that, Ben “Spuds” Quayle!
THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Why Do People Insist That Conservatives Are Violent” features shock jock Hal Turner. He was convicted on Friday of threatening to kill three federal judges in Chicago, Illinois, in retaliation for a ruling they made that upheld handgun bans, government officials said. In 2009 Turner posted the following on his blog, “Let me be the first to say this plainly: These judges deserve to be killed.” The post included photographs of the judges, their phone numbers, addresses and a map of the building where they work. Just another example of the deranged and dangerous mindset of the conservative movement.
Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody which is a version of the Tea Party National Anthem.

Twist And Shout song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUrOMB-iBLk&feature=related

BITCH AND SHOUT

(sung to The Beatles version of the song “Twist And Shout”)

Well, make it up, ladies, now (make it up, ladies)
Bitch and shout (bitch and shout)
C’mon, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon, ladies, now (come on ladies)
Know what you’re talkin’ about (talking about)

Start spreadin’ some doubt, honey (spreadin’ some doubt)
Wear your pillowcase hood (pointy hood)
You got the bullshit flowin’ now (bullshit flowin’)
And you’re sportin’ some wood (didn’t know you could)

Just make it up, baby, now (make it up, baby)
Bitch and shout (bitch and shout)
C’mon, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon, baby, now (come on baby)
You got to start spreadin’ doubt (start spreading doubt)

Just show your twisted little world (shit little world)
Hold up your twisted sign (twisted sign)
Go on up, bitch a little closer, now (bitch a little closer)
And just hold that party line (hold that party line)

Ah
Ahh
Ahhh
Ahhhh
Ahhhhh

Yeah, you’re frothing like rabies, now (frothing like rabies)
Bitch and shout (bitch and shout)
C’mon, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon, baby, now (come on baby)
Jumping and screeching out loud (screaming out loud)

Just show your twisted little world (shit little world)
Hold up your twisted sign (twisted sign)
Go on up, bitch a little closer, now (bitch a little closer)
And just hold that party line (hold that party line)

Well, fake it, fake it, fake it, baby, now (make it up, baby)
Well, fake it, fake it, fake it, baby, now (make it up, baby)
Well, fake it, fake it, fake it, baby, now (make it up, baby)

Ah
Ahh
Ahhh
Ahhhh

Sarah Palin Exposed As Classless, Unpatriotic And Ignorant

Jan Brewer's Cajones Are This Big

Remember the days immediately following 9/11, right on through the run-ups to both the Afghanistan and Iraq wars, when Republicans labeled any criticism of President George W. Bush as “unpatriotic”? They argued that during wartime, the President must be fully supported by both parties and that any negativism about his policies bordered upon treason. You might also recall that the most vocal solicitor of that mindset was none other than the wholly owned G.O.P. subsidiary known as Fox News. For years Fox hosts such as Bill O’Reilly, Sean Hannity and Glenn Beck broadcast on a nightly basis their newest addition to their list of Democratic traitors who dared to question the President’s tactics regarding national security. The G.O.P. and Fox blindly worshiped Bush and Co. and hailed the virtues of such civil rights restrictions as The Patriot Act, the warrantless wiretapping program and even the illegal torture of detainees. In short, the Republicans and Fox News unequivocally proclaimed that “You are either with us or against us and, if you are against us, you are a traitor”.

Well, something funny happened on the way to 2010. The wars in Afghanistan and Iraq continue, but a Republican is no longer the Commander in Chief. Suddenly, both the G.O.P. and Fox News have come full circle and believe that it is quite appropriate and, dare we say “patriotic”, to criticize the President on matters of national security. And damn the facts, their criticisms of Barack Obama are usually based upon fabricated falsehoods and unadulterated fear mongering.

One of the most despicable purveyors of non-fact based Presidential criticism is none other than Sarah Palin. The former half-term ex-quitting governor of Alaska, failed Republican Vice Presidential candidate and current Fox News contributor cannot go a single day without tweeting, posting an indecipherable Facebook message or taking to the Fox airwaves to spew her uniquely incomprehensible form of anti-Obama rhetoric. Remember her lies about the fictitious “death panels” included in the health care reform law? How about her lie that President Obama would “ban guns if he could” despite the fact that his stated policy on gun ownership is “there’s nothing that I will do as President of the United States that will in any way encroach on the ability of sportsmen to continue that tradition (of owning guns)”. Another example is Palin’s Fox broadcast lie that the Obama administration was hampering the clean-up of the Gulf oil spill by failing to accept help from “the Dutch and the Norwegian (sic)”. Her fictitious accusations go on and on, but we digress.

Palin sank to a new low last Sunday while appearing as a guest on “Fox News Sunday”. While discussing the Obama administration’s partial judicial victory last week in the litigation over Arizona’s controversial immigration law, Palin said  that Arizona’s female Republican governor has “the cojones that our President does not” when it comes to securing America’s borders. You read that correctly, the verbally challenged Palin claimed, in essence, that Jan Brewer has more “balls” than Barack Obama. How is that for showing respect for the office of the President of the United States of America during a time of war? Here is her full quote:

And, Jan Brewer, bless her heart, she’s going to do all that she can to continue down the litigation path to allow secure borders because she’s – Jan Brewer has the cojones that our president does not have to look out for all Americans – not just Arizonans – but all Americans in this desire of ours to secure our borders and allow legal immigration to help build this country. . . . if our own president will not enforce a federal law, more power to Jan Brewer . . . to do what our president won’t do.

Sarah Palin has shown once again that she is a classless hillbilly. To publicly criticize the Commander in Chief by making reference to his genitalia is beyond contempt. What is it with Palin’s obsession with all things sexually related? Remember when in her ghost-written memoir she claimed that two of her daughters were threatened with gang rape at school (although “mama bear” never reported such to either the police or school officials)? There was also the time that she accused her grandson’s father Levi Johnston of being involved in the porn industry for modeling nude in Playgirl while ignoring the fact that she endorsed the  Republican Senate candidate and nude centerfold model Scott Brown.  How about when she accused author Joe McGinniss of peering into daughter Piper’s bedroom? Sarah Palin has sex on the brain and lacks the dignity to keep her thoughts to herself and not on the national airwaves. She is like that friend or relative that you are always afraid to invite to public gatherings for fear that she will embarrass you with some sort of inappropriate sexual remark better suited for the bedroom.

Furthermore, does Palin not realize that we are still at war and by her own standards it is unpatriotic to criticize the President? Additionally, she is ignorant of the fact that the Obama administration has done more to secure our borders and has captured more illegal aliens than the Bush regime. Yet, where was her criticism then? She doesn’t want you to know that there are more National Guard troops at the southern border than at any time in the past and more are on the way. She also doesn’t want you to know that this administration has deported more illegal aliens than did the Bush regime. She wants you to forget that her own running mate, John McCain advocated not only a forgiveness to illegal immigrants, but a path to citizenship. Can you recall her demeaning his cajones? By the way, let’s take a look at Sarah Palin unsuccessfully attempting to explain her policy on illegal immigrants. It is a real laugh to witness her complete lack of understanding how to address the issue.

So there you have it. Sarah Palin is classless because of her complete lack of respect for the office of the President which is exemplified by her vulgar genitalia language. She is unpatriotic (by her own terms) because she undermines a war time President by saying that his policies weaken our national security. She is ignorant because she has no coherent policy of her own. Hey Sarah, let’s put this in terminology you can understand. When you fall on your face during your next political campaign, let’s hope your tetas don’t deflate!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

American Girl song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akiBVlrRvEQ

UN-AMERICAN GIRL

(sung to the Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers song “American Girl”)

Well, she’s an un-American girl
Breakin’ promises
Not much of a thinkin’ girl bear
We wish Palin would live life – somewhere else

After all it is a great big world
And she could take her gun too
And she could go on a –  lyin’ spree
Start one little foreign based new G.O.P.

Oh yeah, far right
She’s a sleazy lady
Makes us laugh all night
She’s an un-American girl

The truth may just unfold alright
Joe Mac stands alone on his balcony
Yeah, even though her fence is high, Sarah Palin can’t run
And she can’t stop Joe’s free speech

Palin’s one ornery mama bear
Yet she has many enemies
God, we’re so thankful she’ll never get those votes
Election’s far out of reach

Not wrapped, too tight
She’s a sleazy lady
Makes us laugh all night (makes us laugh all night)
She’s an un-American girl


Independent Thoughts On Independence Day

Fireworks over Boston

First of all, Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off would like to wish all of you a very happy Independence Day. Now let’s get to it…

BREAKING NEWS: One has to wonder about all the doom and gloom surrounding the June 2010 employment statistics. This week the Bureau of Labor Statistics released data that indicates that the nation added 83,000 jobs last month. The mainstream pundits went apopleptic and decried the figure as being miserable because May’s numbers were so much higher (as the result of temporary government census jobs). But take a step back for a moment and remember that when George W. Bush left office, we were losing 700,000 jobs per month. In other words, the nation was bleeding uncontrollably. We are now adding jobs and I can assure you that each of those 83,000 new hires is happier with the direction the economy is headed now rather than during Bush’s term.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s edition of “Don’t Let The Facts Get In The Way Of A Good Story” features Republican National Committee (RNC) Chairman Michael Steele who said that Afghanistan is an unwinnable war of Obama’s choosing. Was he the guy in the film that rhetorically asked if the Americans quit when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “No, Actually You Heard That Correctly” features Fox News host Glenn Beck. The non-college educated, drug addict, philandering Beck has announced the creation of his very own online college to be known as Beck University. Beck’s website states:

This July, while others are relaxing poolside, head back to the classroom – from the comfort of your own home. That may sound like an oxymoron but Glenn’s new academic program is only available online.

Offered exclusively to Insider Extreme subscribers, Beck University is a unique academic experience bringing together experts in the fields of religion, American history and economics. Through captivating lectures and interactive online discussions, these experts will explore the concepts of Faith, Hope and Charity and show you how they influence America’s past, her present and most importantly her future.

The Philadelphia Daily News says, “Unlike Harvard or Yale, where Beck was a half-term (sound familiar?) student in one theology course after his ex-friend Joe Lieberman pulled some strings, Beck U. is strictly a profit deal. Only by paying Glenn Beck Inc. to become an extreme insider ($9.95 a month, or $74.95) can you enroll on Beck’s pseudo-cyber-campus. How else do you think Beck expects to sell that $4.25 million manse and move into bigger digs?

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “The Truth Hurts” features Lindsey Graham. South Carolina’s Republican Senator told The New York Times this week, that “The problem with the Tea Party, I think its just unsustainable because they can never come up with a coherent vision of governing the country. It will die out.” Be careful Lindsey, you have now become the target of a multitude of misspelled signs.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s edition of “The Worst President Of The Modern Era” features George W. Bush. ThinkProgress.org reports, “Since 1982, the Siena Research Institute has polled presidential scholars on whom they view to be best and worst presidents in American history, based on a variety of issues from “integrity” to economic stewardship. This year’s poll of 238 scholars found that President Franklin Roosevelt was once again ranked on top, joined by Presidents Lincoln, Jefferson, Washington, and Teddy Roosevelt to complete the top five. However, President George W. Bush did not fare well since the last poll was conducted in 2002. He dropped 16 places to 39th, making him the worst president since Warren Harding died in office in 1923, and one of the bottom five of all time.” Ouch. To add insult to the Republican Party’s injury, the list showed that Bill Clinton is ranked higher than Ronald Reagan. Oh, the humanity!

THIS JUST IN: This week’s edition of “Is That A Potato In Your Pants Or Are You Just Happy To Meet Me” features Sarah Palin and the guy in the blue shirt about 46 seconds into the video. Lynnrockets would like to thank readers nswfm and Pat in MA for bringing this to our attention.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

American Pie song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAsV5-Hv-7U

ALASKAN PIE

(sung to the Don McLean song “American Pie”)

A long, long time ago…
I can still remember
Palin’s slutty flight attendant style
And when she blew her only chance
With John McCain in the Big Dance
In light of the pregnancy of her child

In February she did shiver
When Levi sold her down the river
Bad news at her doorstep
She didn’t have no more pep

The allegations she denied
Of all those gifts that she did hide
She took Alaskans for a ride
As she cajoled and lied

So bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Did you quit the job you love
After talking with God up above?
Did the good Lord tell you so?
Are you still pals with Plumber Joe?
Do dead fish still go with the flow?
And can Todd’s sister score me some good blow?

Well you know that your prospects are grim
’cause you’re way way out there on a limb
You’re sure to have the blues
Man, you screwed up those interviews

You’re just a lonely mid-aged “hockey mom”
With real deep frustration and a man that’s dumb
You’re just a third rate school alum
Today your future died

We started singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Now for two years all you did was drone
Remember Sarkozy on the phone?
But just what will your future be?
Will you pester us like a has been queen?
Will you pout and whine like a spoiled teen?
In a voice that sounds so shrill and mean,

Oh, and when you leave Wasilla town
Take along your beauty pageant crown
And bridges that you burned
Oh, please never return
And those hits you took will leave some marks
A “Barracuda” is no shark
And you were always in the dark
Today your future died

We were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Helter skelter you are sure to swelter
The ice in your veins may even melt-ah
Ethics problems coming fast
You’re landing hard on your ass
No throwing stones in a house of glass
When you’re starring in a demon cleansing mass

Now your thinning hair reeks with perfume
You’re a spaceman cuz you see the moon
Your fans would shout and dance
Oh, to your “drill baby drill” chants!
Katie Couric made you squirm and squeal
And that was when your fate was sealed
Do you recall what was revealed
The day your future died?

We started singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Oh, and then that look upon your face
Not knowing a Supreme Court case
Forget about the Bush Doctrine
So come on: jack be nimble, jack be quick
Sarah Palin’s no “Maverick”
Cuz she’s just a “Barbie” to Todd’s “Ken”

As we watched you on that debate stage
Your hands were clenched in fists of rage
Everyone then could tell
You were praying for the bell
And as you hoped that you could land a right,
To salvage something of the night
We saw Biden laughing with delight
That day your future died

Joe was singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Palin’s a girl who has the blues
And she cannot handle interviews
She quit her job and walked away
She could not take it any more
She hightailed it right out the door
Just like a scared child, she up and ran away

And in the streets the voters beamed,
The good Lord had fulfilled their dreams
Sherry Johnston was tokin’
The “barracuda” broken
We did not really want to boast
But “Mama Bear” was finally toast
She’ll write about it through her ghost
That day her future died.

And we were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

We were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 41

Just a few noteworthy news satellites that have been careening around the blogosphere this week…

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “People In Glass Houses…” features California’s Republican nominee for US Senate Carly Fiorina. While preparing for a television news interview, the woman that drove Hewlett Packard into the ground before being fired said this about incumbent Democratic Party Senator Barbara Boxer whilst unaware that her microphone was live, “God, what is that hair? Soooo yesterday”. Such an insult coming from a woman that would be more aptly named Carly Purina.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Tea Party Hardy” features Tea Party candidate for Senate in Nevada, Sharron Angle. If you are unaware of Angle’s proposals, get a drink, sit down and get a load of these:

  • Bring more nuclear waste to Nevada.
  • Deregulate Big Oil; BP spill was only “an accident.”
  • Abolish the Education Department, Energy Department, EPA, United Nations and most of the IRS.
  • Eliminate Social Security — possibly Medicare and unemployment insurance too.
  • Outlaw alcohol.

That being said, let’s all congratulate Democrat Harry Reid on his re-election as Nevada Senator.

BREAKING NEWS: This week the racist, uneducated, drug addicted philanderer Rush Limbaugh was married for a fourth time. ‘Nuff said.

THIS JUST IN: U.S. government regulators warned in 2000 about the myriad problems that could be caused by a deepwater oil spill. But the George W. Bush administration ignored such warnings and issued an executive order in May 2001 that pushed to speed up the search for oil.  McLatchy reports,

A decade ago, U.S. government regulators warned that a major deepwater oil spill could start with a fire on a drilling rig, prove hard to stop and cause extensive damage to fish eggs and wetlands because there were few good ways to capture oil underwater, however, President George W. Bush ushered in the new era with an executive order on May 18, 2001, that pushed his new administration to speed up the search for oil.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Keep That Boycott Going” features Hall & Oates. The musical duo have canceled their July 2, 2010 concert in Arizona to protest the new racist Arizona immigration law. Other artists who have joined the Arizon boycott thus far include Cypress Hill, Pitbull, Rage Against the Machine, Kanye West, Sonic Youth, Carlos Santana, Willie Nelson, Joe Satriani, Tenacious D, Shakira and Massive Attack.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Conservatives Eating Their Young” features both Rush Limbaugh and Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly. In a new biography on sale Tuesday, Rush Limbaugh calls fellow conservative talk show host Bill O’Reilly a “Ted Baxter” — after the fictional character on the “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” who was portrayed as a vain, shallow, buffoonish TV newsman. Now that is insulting. Insulting to Ted Baxter, that is.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s edition of “Facts Don’t Lie” features the ten states with the lowest percentage of college graduates according to The Chronicle of Higher Education. Drumroll please. Arkansas, West Virginia, Nevada, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Alaska, Arizona, Texas, Tennessee and Mississippi. This is clear evidence of a red state brain drain. In contrast, the areas with the highest percentage of college graduates are Washington D.C., Massachusetts and North Dakota, Michigan, New York, New Jersey and Maryland. Hey, what is North Dakota doing on that list?

THIS JUST IN: This week’s edition of “Companies Deserving of a Consumer Boycott” features these BP brands: ARAL, ARCO, Castrol, ampm and Wild Bean Cafe. Now get to it!

BREAKING NEWS: You didn’t think that the Blast-Off would miss an opportunity to comment on Sarah Palin and the “the girls”, did you? Why, how in the world could we fail to mention the brouhaha surrounding Sarah’s majestic Denali and Redoubt? But where in the world will Palin flee to seek medical attention if one of those peaks becomes active, springs a leak and erupts? Let’s answer that question with today’s song parody!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Volcano song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjGHwGkFIFw&feature=related

VOLCANO

(sung to the Jimmy Buffett song “Volcano”)

(Chorus)
Now I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When her volcano blow

Let me say now,

I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When her volcano blow

She wanted her boobs to grow
So she spent a lot of dough
If the peak begins to quake
Sarah P. will leave the state

Let me hear ya now

I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When her volcano blow

Now Sarah girl she said to T.
Take me to New York City
I’m not looking quite so hot
My silicone is down one quart

Let me say now, I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When her volcano blow

Mr. Wooten!
(musical interlude)

Just what are those balloons worth?
Bigger than when she gave birth
What is next for Grizzly Mom?
She’s having work done on her bum

Now I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When her volcano blow

One more now, I don’t know
(she don’t know)
I don’t know (she don’t know mon)
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When her volcano blow

She might want to land
In Rapid City
Might want to land
In Buffalo (ho ho ho)
Don’t want to land on no
Three mile Island
Don’t want to see her boobies glow (no no no)

Might want to land in
Indianapolis
Or in Nashville, Tennessee (ho ho ho)
Don’t want to land in
Massachusetts
Or in Putin’s territory (no no no)

Might want to land
In San Diego
Might want to land
In Miami (ho ho ho)
But the place that she wants so dearly
Is Ol’ Washington DC

I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When her volcano blow

Just one more, I don’t know
(she don’t know)
I don’t know
(she don’t know, man)
I don’t know where Sarah gonna go
When her volcano blow!

Monday Night Music Byte (McCartney Blasts Bush)

McCartney at historic Fenway Park, Boston 2009.

Tonight’s Music Byte will dispense with the usual historical narrative of the featured artist. Sir Paul McCartney needs no introduction. Over here at the Blast-Off however, we like him even more this week.

CNN reports, President Obama on Wednesday awarded McCartney the Gershwin Prize for Popular Song – a lifetime achievement award given by the Library of Congress. Upon receiving the award, McCartney deadpanned, “After the last eight years, it’s great to have a president who knows what a library is.” Don’t you just love it? Even an English (albeit of Irish descent) musician recognized George W. Bush’s lack of eloquence and was not afraid to comment about it on American soil.

One person unfortunately was not amused. House Minority Leader John Boehner (pronounced, “Boner”) is demanding an apology from the music legend. Boehner said,

I hope he’ll apologize to the American people for his conduct which demeaned him, the White House and President Obama.

Actually Mr. Boehner, the remark did not demean McCartney, the White House and President Obama. It only demeaned George W. Bush. So, take that!

Please enjoy tonight’s video clip. By the way, the drummer is from Arlington, MA.


Torturer In Chief Rears His Ugly Head

This week former Decider in Chief, George W. Bush admitted (finally) that his administration ordered the illegal torture of detainees. On Wednesday, while speaking at the Economic Club of Grand Rapids, he said he has no regrets about authorizing the controversial waterboarding technique to interrogate terrorist suspects and wouldn’t hesitate to do so again. His exact words?

Yeah, we waterboarded Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, I’d do it again to save lives.

Problem number one with Bush’s assertion is that the waterboarding of Mohammed did not save any lives. Indeed, it likely only produced misinformation. As the Los Angeles Times reported last summer, the torture only resulted in misinformation:

Self-proclaimed Sept. 11 mastermind Khalid Shaikh Mohammed told U.S. military officials that he had lied to the CIA after being abused, according to documents made public Monday. The claim is likely to intensify the debate over whether harsh interrogation techniques generated accurate information.

Mohammed made the assertion during hearings at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, where he was transferred in 2006 after being held at secret CIA sites since his capture in 2003.

“I make up stories,” Mohammed said, describing in broken English an interrogation probably administered by the CIA concerning the whereabouts of Al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden. “Where is he? I don’t know. Then, he torture me,” Mohammed said of his interrogator. “Then I said, ‘Yes, he is in this area.’ “

Mohammed also appeared to say that he had fingered people he did not know as being Al Qaeda members in order to avoid abusive treatment. Although there is no way to corroborate his statements, Mohammed is one of the militants whom the CIA repeatedly subjected to the simulated-drowning technique known as waterboarding. http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-cia-detainee16-2009jun16,0,316330.story

Problem number two with Bush’s assertion is that he directly contradicted his previous assurances to the American people that “We do not torture”. If Bush is trying to conclude that waterboarding is not torture, he is wrong. U.S. Code section 2340 defines torture as follows:

(1) “torture” means an act committed by a person acting under the color of law specifically intended to inflict severe physical or mental pain or suffering (other than pain or suffering incidental to lawful sanctions) upon another person within his custody or physical control;

(2) “severe mental pain or suffering” means the prolonged mental harm caused by or resulting from—

(A) the intentional infliction or threatened infliction of severe physical pain or suffering;
(B) the administration or application, or threatened administration or application, of mind-altering substances or other procedures calculated to disrupt profoundly the senses or the personality;
(C) the threat of imminent death; or
(D) the threat that another person will imminently be subjected to death, severe physical pain or suffering, or the administration or application of mind-altering substances or other procedures calculated to disrupt profoundly the senses or personality; and
The technique of waterboarding is commonly defined as,

immobilizing the victim on his or her back with the head inclined downwards, and then pouring water over the face and into the breathing passages. By forced suffocation and inhalation of water, the subject experiences drowning and is caused to believe they are about to die. {See,White, Josh (November 8, 2007). “Waterboarding Is Torture, Says Ex-Navy Instructor“. The Washington Post. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/11/08/AR2007110802150.html. Retrieved on December 17, 2007.}

Conservative columnist, Christopher Hitchens voluntarily experienced waterboarding twice in 2008. He lasted 12 seconds the first time and 19 seconds on the next attempt. Of the experience, he said,

There is a common misconception that waterboarding simulates the sensation of drowning, but you are to all intents and purposes actually drowning.if waterboarding does not constitute torture, then there is no such thing as torture. Believe me. It’s torture. {SeeHitchens, Christopher (August 2008). “Believe Me, It’s Torture“. Vanity Fair. http://www.vanityfair.com/politics/features/2008/08/hitchens200808. Retrieved on April 17, 2009.

It is also worth noting that both John McCain and Mike Huckabee defined waterboarding as torture during their respective 2008 campaigns. It seems obvious that McCain knows a little bit about the subject of torture.

It would appear obvious from a reading of both definitions and from Hitchen’s description that waterboarding is torture. Furthermore, the United States has a past record of prosecuting water torture as a war crime. In 1947, a Japanese civilian who had served in the Japanese military as an interpreter was convicted for, among other things, committing water torture. The alleged water torture was specified as consisting of “forcing water into {the} mouths and noses” of two prisoners. http://www.2008electionprocon.org/pdf/asano_case.pdf .  Sounds a lot like waterboarding, doesn’t it? So, let’s not let former Bush administration officials and Fox News sycophants get away with denying that it is torture and it is illegal.

Next, we must deal with the justification for waterboarding on the basis that it yielded valuable intelligence. Forget it. This is a red herring of an argument. If waterboarding is torture and therefore a criminal act, it matters not what  valuable information was gleemed therefrom. The United States is a nation of laws. As an example, consider this scenario. Larceny is an illegal criminal act. Inasmuch as the U.S. Government’s computer systems seem to get hacked on a near daily basis, it would be quite valuable for the government to acquire a more sophisticated security system. It would be illegal, however for the government to acquire such a system by means of simply stealing it from say Microsoft. Indeed, the United States justice system would prevent or redress just such an action.

OK then, now that we’re finished with that, let’s have some fun with a song parody…

F Troop link: http://www.televisiontunes.com/F_Troop.html

BUSH TROOP

(sung to the television theme of “F Troop”)

The dawn of the Iraq War was near
When coincidentally
Cheney and Bush got the limits pushed
And commenced torturous brutality.

The methods employed often maimed and killed
Which pleased Cheney’s vicious group.
The waterboard trick both chilled and thrilled
Nobody was appalled they were called Bush Troop.

With testicle bites and really bright lights
Their victims sure took a lickin’
From draft dodging war hawks
Who are just chickens.

When killing and maiming get them down
They know their morale can’t droop.
As long as they own old D.C. Town
They are sure to resume with a bang and a boom
Bush Troop.

Monday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 38

Just a few noteworthy news satellites that have been careening around the blogosphere this week…

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s edition of “Did Somebody Actually Vote For This Guy?” features Tea-Bagger favorite Rand Paul who won the Kentucky Republican Senate primary election last Tuesday. After his victory, not only did we learn that he is a racist that would like it to be legal for private businesses to discriminate, but then he defended BP and called President Obama “un-American” for his tough stance against the oil spill culprit. Let’s get this straight, it is un-American to hold a British foreign corporation liable for causing potentially the most devastating environmental disaster in US history and then trying to shift the blame elsewhere? Heck, then it must have been really, really, really un-American for the founding fathers to declare war on those same British merely for taxing our tea bags!

THIS JUST IN: This week’s edition of “Don’t let The Facts Get In The Way of A Good Story” features the “Turd Blossom” himself. Karl Rove, former President George Bush’s top adviser, while hawking his new book this week, declared that Bush “never allowed” staffers to call their opposition “disparaging labels,” or “question their motives“. His words…

President Bush, for example, never allowed a White House staffer or administration spokesman to go out and do what this administration and our predecessor routinely did — that is to engage in calling the leaders of the opposition party disparaging labels and question their motives.

Oh really Karl? How about in your 2007 speech when you directly challenged the “motives” of your political opponents when you implied that Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL) intentionally used rhetoric that would endanger American soldiers? You said,

Let me just put this in fairly simple terms: Al Jazeera now broadcasts the words of Senator Durbin to the mideast, certainly putting our troops in greater danger. No more needs to be said about the motives of liberals.

Or how about when you questioned the patriotism of candidate Barack Obama for not wearing a flag pin when neither were you? Rove, you are a putz!

BREAKING NEWS: The good news of the week is that the Gulf Oil spill may be only 19 times greater than what BP originally told us.

THIS JUST IN: When moonbat crazy Republican Senator Michele Bachmann of Minnesota says, “No New Taxes” she means it. It was revealed this week that Bachmann “The Birther” has neglected to pay the property taxes owed on her million dollar home.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s edition of “Your MySpace Page Said What?” features former Rand Paul campaign spokesperson Chris Hightower who’s MySpace page in 2008 said “Happy Nig_ _ r Day!!!” and featured a photo of a hanging man. Don’t believe me?

‘Nuff said about Rand Paul and friends.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s edition of “Meet The Press” features Tea-Party darling and Republican nominee for Kentucky’s US Senate seat, Rand Paul. Oops, wait a second…what’s that? Rand Paul has just canceled his scheduled appearance on Meet The Press this morning? Why would he do that? Isn’t this the honeymoon period after his election victory on Tuesday?

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s edition of “Oops, I Did It Again” features Indiana’s conservative Congressman Mark Souder who resigned this week after it was revealed that he has been carrying on an extramarital affair with a staff member. We thought that type of behavior was mandatory to be a member of the Republican Party. Let’s look at our ever growing list of philandering Republicans:

Ronald Reagan, Newt Gingrich, John McCain, David Vitter, Mark Foley, Larry Craig, Rudolph Giuliani, Ted Haggard, Bob Allen, Glenn Murphy, Jr., John Ensign, Sarah Palin (maybe), Mark Sanford, Paul Stanley, Mike Duvall and now…Mark Souder.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Addams Family television theme  song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVRX_5tGOlo&feature=related

THE HORNY G.O.P.

(sung to the television theme song “The Addams Family”)

They’re creepy and they’re horny
Their dialect is corny
Morality is phony
The shady G.O.P.

If you’re in a museum
It’s real easy to see ‘em
With pants down to their knees’m
The dodgy G.O.P.

(Cheat)
(Beat)
(Their meat)

They always get their ball on
And that’s the sword they fall on
Another gal to crawl on
The horny G.O.P.


Sunday Mid-Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 37

Just a few noteworthy news satellites that have been careening around the blogosphere this week…

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Why Am I Not Surprised” features Slick-Dick Cheney’s pal the Halliburton corporation. the company has become the object of several controversies involving the 2003 Iraq War and the company’s ties to Former U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney. Cheney retired from the company during the 2000 U.S. presidential election campaign with a severance package worth $36 million. As of 2004, he had received $398,548 in deferred compensation from Halliburton while Vice President. Cheney was chairman and CEO of Halliburton Company from 1995 to 2000 and has received stock options from Halliburton. The company has a long history of shoddy workmanship and of defrauding the US Government (and consequently, US taxpayers) by means of repeated and excessive overcharges regarding government contracts. Well, now it has been revealed that Halliburton is partially responsible for the recent catastrophic Gulf Coast oil rig explosion and spill. Halliburton provided well cementing services on the rig and now it looks as if flaws in that process led to the massive failure of the well’s structural integrity. Anyone surprised?

THIS JUST IN: We all understand the nexus between the State of Alaska and the oil industry, but enough is enough already. This week Alaska’s Republican Senator Lisa Murkowski objected to a voice vote request by Sen. Robert Menendez (D-N.J.) on the bill, which would have spiked the maximum liability for oil companies after an oil spill from $75 million to $10 billion. The legislation has significant support from Democrats, and the White House has indicated it backs an increase in liability caps. Republicans are on the side of the oil companies, not the American people.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “WTF Took You So Long” features former First Stepford Wife, Laura Bush who admitted on Larry King Live that she is pro-choice and in favor of gay marriage and has been so forever. Should she perhaps have publicly defended her positions at some point while her brain-dead husband of a President was forever advocating legislation in opposition to those beliefs? Please watch the clip…

Then again, Laura Bush is now hawking a book and as we know from Sarah Palin, nothing sells like shock and controversy.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Conservatives Caught With Their Pants Down” features Longtime Religious Right leader Rev. Dr. George Rekers. He has been embroiled in a gay sex scandal for the past two weeks, and has now resigned from the board of directors of NARTH (National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality.) For those of you not in the know, it was revealed that Rekers hired a male prostitute to travel with him to Europe. As Queen would say, “another one bites the dust”.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Lies And The Lying Liars Who Tell Them” features Ergun Caner, the President of Liberty University’s (yes, Jerry Falwell’s Liberty University) seminary. Talk To Action reports that “Caner has made a name for himself by highlighting his unusual life story: He says he was born into a stridently Muslim family in Turkey, where he learned to hate America and Christians. As Caner tells it, he flirted with jihad before undergoing a life-changing conversion to fundamentalist Christianity. He then persuaded most of his family to convert as well, and they now spread the gospel.” A compelling story but untrue. “Despite his claims about having lived in Turkey, it now appears that Caner was born in Sweden and moved to Ohio when he was 4 years old. His father was a Muslim, but his mother was Lutheran. The couple divorced, and Caner’s mother retained custody. He became an evangelical Christian as a teen; it’s unlike he was ever recruited by jihadists.” Ahhh, the rarefied air of Liberty University!

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Daddy, Please Make The Crazy Lady Stop Talking!” features Minnesota’s Republican US Senator, Michele Bachmann. During a Tuesday night webcast with Ensuring Liberty, a Tea Party PAC, Rep. Michele Bachmann likened the financial reform bill that is being debated in Congress to Mussolini’s Fascist Italy. She said,

Let’s remember really what this is. This has a lot in common with Italy in the 1930s and they way Italy dealt with economics,” she said. “It still continues private ownership of business but government is in control.” She continued, “So government control of the private business, while it’s private ownership, that’s still at the end of the day the federal government virtually having a say over private business. We lose freedoms; we lose economic competitiveness.

OK Michele, now take your medicine and go back to sleep for awhile.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Let’s Blame God” features Rick Perry, the Republican Governor of Texas. Last week the secessionist and Sarah Palin fanboy said the massive oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico should not be lamed on the oil industry, calling such spills “acts of God that cannot be prevented.” Gee, who knew that God created that faulty rig.

THIS JUST IN: It wouldn’t be a weekly wrap-up without our favorite wingnut, now would it? So, this week’s edition of  “Tea (Party) For Two and Two For Tea (Party)” features Sarah Palin, the ex-quitting Governor of Alaska and Jan Brewer, the present Governor of Arizona. The two members of the G.O.P. “braintrust” appeared together yesterday in Phoenix to denounce President Obama’s  criticism of Arizona’s new racist immigrant law. The law requires immigrants in Arizona to carry their registration documents at all times and allows police to question individuals’ immigration status in the process of enforcing any other law or ordinance. Problem is, even legal “brown” skinned citizens and immigrants are likely to be “asked for their papers” even though they are not required to carry them. If they do not have those “papers” with them, they are subject to detainment and arrest. As president Obama said,

You can imagine if you are an Hispanic American in Arizona, your great grandparents may have been there before Arizona was even a state, but now suddenly if you don’t have your papers, and you took your kid out to get ice cream, you’re gonna be harassed. That’s something that could potentially happen. That’s not the right way to go.

Like the nativist “Know Nothings” of the 1840’s and 1850’s however, Palin and Brewer have deceived themselves into believing the “us” versus “them” scenario is the only solution to immigration problems. Indeed, in defending the concept of “presenting papers”, the snow-white Palin said, “I think for most American people the reaction to that would be, ‘Why aren’t (police) already doing that?'” What would she say if native Alaskans treated the Idaho transplant similarly? Keep up the good work on that Arizona products and travel boycott!!!

Today’s song parody takes a rapid-fire look at Republicans past, present and future. Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

We Didn’t Start The Fire song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFTLKWw542g

WE DIDN’T START THE LYING

(sung to the Billy Joel song “We Didn’t Start The Fire”)

Ronald Reagan, Larry Craig, Mark Sanford, Tom Delay
Michelle Malkin, Michele Bachmann, “Goin’ with the flow”

Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Howard Baker, lack of vision
Spreading Fear, Acting queer, and ole Sixpack Joe

No icebergs, H-Bomb, “Pay for play”, “Hockey Mom”
Landrieu, Hamid Karzai, and that Michael Savage guy

Ivy tower, Van Flein, Tea-bagger party scene
Party of “No”, Tim Pawlenty, Let’s watch Glenn Beck cry

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Vitter’s fallin’, Ginny Foxx, Boehner and Inhofe
Mitch McConnell, small umbrella, Talking the talk

Spin Zone, Rent to own, Straight martini, Bank loan
Russian view and Pastor Haggard’s flock

Sex crimes, Grassley, John McCain is “Mavericky”
Lining pockets, health care plan, Giuliani, Limbaugh Land

Barrasso, Fake protest, Tom “The Hammer”, Chambliss
Senate race, Lack of grace, and Melvin Martinez

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Loaded Glock, SarahPAC, Sam Alito, Johnny Mack
Jindal, Right to die, Tripp’s father is Levi

Pentagon, Border wall, We must deport them all
Bed-wetters, genocide, No assisted suicide

Bush’s folly, Torture, Dick Cheney, Blackwater
Hate groups, Castro, John Ensign and his ‘ho

First Dude, Hannity, Mann Coulter and O’Reilly
Scooter Libby, Karl Rove, Sarah Palin’s “Sixpack Joes”

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Kay Bailey, Muslims, K Street is full of bums
Villains, Pearlman, Iraqi Invasion

Health reform hysteria, Sarah Palin mania
Shameless G-Men, War in Afghanistan

Ron Paul, Airport sex, They don’t want no litmus test
Kneel and pray, Always “nay”, Can’t get married if you’re gay

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it

Birth control, Lives of sin, They like folks that have white skin
Buckshot, Dow stock, Loud mouthed chicken-hawks
Takin’ Bacon, Palestine, Palin is no friend of mine
Now they have nukes in Iran, Couldn’t stop the Taliban

Makin’ fortunes, Soldiers die, Did we mention Glenn Beck cried?
Foreign debts, Homeless vets, Exposed by three jets
We voted them out the door, Now they’re just a mouse that roars
Spider holes and unjust wars, I can’t take them anymore.

These are G.O.P. liars
Shy away from learning
Keep our stomachs turning
Burning their cross of fire
We watched them light it
And they can’t deny it
(repeat chorus to fade)

Mother’s Day Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 36

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you that may be mothers. For the rest of you, please do something nice for your own mothers on her special day. You have no way of knowing how many more of these days you will have the opportunity to share together. Make the most of all of them.

OK, no more proselytizing. Let’s have some fun. Rather than the usual recap of newsworthy events from the last week, today’s post will provide a list of appropriate Mother’s Day gifts for a bunch of well known conservative women. Please feel free to add to the list in the comment section. Let’s roll…

Barbara Bush:  A “do over” regarding son George W.

Ann Coulter: A definitive male or female sexual status.

Carrie Jean Prejean:  A map of the United States.

Condoleezza Rice: A “Where’s Condi?” placemat.

Michelle Malkin:  Non-“Anchor-Baby” status.

Ohio Rep. Jean Schmidt:  An official “Birther” T-shirt.

Laura Bush: A Stepford Sister.

Conservative radio pundit Laura Ingraham: A more feminine voice.

Congressional candidate Carly Fiorina: An endorsement from Hewlett Packard directors and shareholders.

Greta Van Susteren:  A contestant’s spot on tv’s Extreme Makeover.

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer:  An all expenses paid trip to Mexico.

Liz Cheney:  A chance to show her courage via a stint in the U.S. Army.

Michele Bachmann:  An unlimited prescription of Thorazine.

Elizabeth Hasselbeck:  Employment with Fox News.

Bristol Palin:  A time machine.

Sarah Palin: An English/Palin – Palin/ English dictionary.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

American Woman song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9o8SUSy_tY

REPUBLICAN WOMEN

(sung to the Guess Who song “American Woman”)

Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women, they’ve really lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds

Say “R”, say “E”, say “P”
Say “L”, say “I”, say “C”
Say “A” “N”

Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds

Republican women, stay away from me
Republican women, from the G.O.P.
You are someone I’ll just ignore
I don’t wanna see your face no more
I got more important things to do
And I will never be sold on you

Now women, I said stay away

Republican women, listen what I say

Republican women, have no dignity
Republican women, and their tea-parties
Like I told you the time before
Michele Bachmann is just a bore
Mann Coulter I do despise
Malkin has a lazy eye
Now women, I said get away
Republican women, listen what I say

Republican women, it’s clear as day
Republican women, they’re no Tina Fey
Talk about defending our shores
Their husbands prefer time with whores
Jean Schmidt always makes a scene
Sarah Palin thinks she’s queen
Mary Matalin’s hypnotized
Ingraham’s mouth is super-sized
Now women, from the G.O.P.
Republican women, mama let me be

Go, gotta get away, gotta get away
Now go go go
Gonna leave you, women
Gonna leave you, women
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
You’re no good for me
I’m no good for you
Gonna look you right in the eye.
Tell you what I’m gonna do
You know I’m gonna leave
You know I’m gonna go
You know I’m gonna leave
You know I’m gonna go, women
I’m gonna leave, women
Goodbye, Republican women