Category Archives: Charlie Crist

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 11

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BREAKING NEWS:  Meg Whitman, the former CEO of Ebay and current Republican candidate for governor of California has seldom voted in any elections since 1979. Now there is an involved Republican for you. She appears to be just what California needs.

THIS JUST IN:  Sen. John McCain is co-hosting a fundraiser for his former 2008 Republican primary rival Mitt Romney next Wednesday in Phoenix. Hmm, wonder if he will be doing the same for Sarah Palin some day?

BREAKING NEWS:  Former Hewlett-Packard CEO, Carly Fiorina (R) plans to announce her candidacy for senator of California. CNN reports however, that her website leaves a lot to be desired. “It’s the most singularly awful political website I have ever seen, and I am including all the old, basic HTML websites that were the rage 10 years ago,” conservative blogger John Hawkins of the site RightWingNews.com said in an e-mail to CNN. “Why not toss in G.I. Joe vs. Cobra, Ninjas vs. Pirates, and Kennedy versus Kruschev if it’s going to be a goofy joke? There’s very little information on it to appeal to voters.”

THIS JUST IN:  Lou Dobbs has reported that he is upset that a latin television station will include a storyline in one of its soap operas  that is designed to lessen people’s fear of U.S. census takers. Dobbs said, “Well, fans–if you like that, you’re going to love this. Fans of telenovellas on Spanish-language television could soon be seeing more than they tuned in for as well. The Telemundo network, owned by NBC, will incorporate a story line in a popular soap opera to promote the U.S. Census. That’s right. They’re going to put that into a storyline. It is part of an Obama administration plan to make sure the Latino population is fully counted next year. Ines Ferre with our report.” Is it just me, or does it make perfect sense that the census should be made as accurate as possible. Lou Dobbs is a moron if he believes that we should strive for an inaccurate census.

BREAKING NEWS:  Tom Delay’s effeminate dancing on Dancing With The Stars should ensure that he has a lot of nice new friends when he goes to prison.

THIS JUST IN: The Tea-Bagger laden Red State of Georgia is angry with the federal government once again. This time they are not complaining about excessive taxation or excessive federal bailout funds. No, this time they are complaining that they are not receiving enough federal funds as the result of last week’s flooding. That’s right, the Tea-Bagging State of Georgia now wants a federal handout. Don’t you just love the irony?

BREAKING NEWS:  A new New York Times/CBS News poll conducted September 19-23, 2009 reveals that not only do a majority of Americans favor the government offering a federally funded health care plan like Medicare for everyone, but they favor it overwhelmingly. the poll reveals that such a plan is favored by 65% of the respondents, while it is opposed by a mere 26%. So much for the Republicans and their Tea-Bagger minions that believe that they represent the interests of most Americans.

THIS JUST IN: Florida’s Republican governor, Charlie Crist said on Saturday that He believes that president Barack Obama will be ousted from office in 2012 just as Jimmy Carter was in 1980. It would appear however, that Governor Crist has failed to look at the most recent polls which have Obama’s popularity rating once again in the high 50’s. In fact, they are higher than Crist’s favorables in Florida. Perhaps it is Crist that will next be ousted.

BREAKING NEWS:  Last week, the FBI arrested three men in connection with a terrorist bomb plot in the United States. The men had been under surveillance by both the federal agency and the New York City police. Good police work seems to have cracked the case. Nobody was tortured. By all accounts, the joint investigation and arrests were a success. Will Republicans give the Obama administration credit for foiling the plot and capturing those responsible or will thay still insist that he is weak on terrorism? It is interesting to note that to this date since Obama’s election, there have been no terrorist attacks on U.S. soil and several plots have been subdued by arrest. By this date in George W. Bush’s tenure, the largest terrorist attack in the history of the United States had taken place and claimed over 3000 lives. Hmmm.

THIS JUST IN: Today’s burning question is, just who is it that we can hear chanting, “We’re number 4 !, We’re number 4 !”? Who else, it is former quitting ex-governor of Alaska Sarah Palin’s very own BFF and all around handler, Meg Stapleton. Yes folks, she is trying to find some positive spin on the recently released conservative Christian voters’ Value Summit straw poll in which she finished in fourth place behind Mike Huckabee (Hound), Mitt(wit) Romney and Tim (Good’n) Pawlenty.

In response to a recent request here is a Sarah Palin parody of Doris Day’s wonderful, Que Sera Sera

Here is a link to click upon in order to familiarize yourself with the tune: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZbKHDPPrrc

HEY SARAH, SARAH

(sung to the Doris Day song “Que Sera Sera”)

When she was just a little girl
She asked Ted Stevens, “What will I be?”
“Will I be Guv’nor?” “Will I be Prez?”
Here’s what he said to she.

Hey, Sarah, Sarah
Don’t be so silly, silly
Stop annoying me, dear me
Hey Sarah, Sarah
What will be, will be

When she was Gov she met McCain
She asked the Maverick, what lies ahead?
“How is your cancer?” “How old are you?”
I’ll be Prez when you’re dead.

Hey, Sarah, Sarah
Let’s not jump the gun, the gun
You know that we’ve not yet won
Hey, Sarah, Sarah
You’re no fun, no fun

Her campaign went down to defeat
Now she’s the G.O.P.’s biggest doormat
Well behind Romney, behind Gingrich
She shills for “Arctic Cat”

Hey, Sarah , Sarah
You’re so damned creepy, creepy
Your career’s finished, you see
Hey, Sarah, Sarah
It’s your destiny