Category Archives: Bobby Jindal

A Noun, A Verb and 9/11 in 2012?

Mr. 9/11

Add another crackpot to the 2012 Republican list of potential Presidential candidates. Despite his disastrous attempt at running for our nation’s highest office in 2008, former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani says he hasn’t ruled out a second try in 2012. Yikes, we can possibly add him to a list of crazies that may include Mitt(wit) Romney, Tim (Good’n) Pawlenty, Bobby Jindel(Bells), Sarah “Death Panels” Palin, Newt “The Serial Philanderer” Gingrich and Mike Huckabee(Hound). What a bunch of rotten bananas.

“The door’s not closed,” Giuliani told Politico on Monday night when asked point-blank if he still has his eyes set on the White House.

This begs the question however, What will Giuliani talk about in the 2012 campaign season? Remember when during the 2008 race, then Delaware Sen. Joe Biden drew laughter and applause when he ridiculed the former New York City mayor during the debate at Drexel University? In response to Giuliani’s comments that no Democratic candidate has enough executive experience to lead, Biden called Giuliani “the most under-qualified man since George W. Bush to seek the presidency”? How about when Biden followed that up with, “There’s only three things he mentions in a sentence: a noun, and a verb and 9/11”? Ahh, those halcyon days of Rudy Giuliani and 9/11.

His Presidential run was a joke, but as the saying goes, “you can throw away the poop but not the stink”. Actually, we are not sure if that is truly a saying, but if it isn’t, it should be. Honestly though, Giuliani seems to pop up more than the pesky rodent in the “Whack-a-Mole” carnival midway game. Let’s hope he runs again, if for no other reason than for the laughs.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

That’s Amore song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69O4PXzAQ5Y

GIULIANI

(sung to the Dean Martin song “That’s Amoré”)

In New York Town on the air-waves
Rudy does have a lot to say

He just sits there and lies but to him we are wise
Giuliani!!!
He appears in prime-time and repeats his tired lines
Giuliani!!!
He was king ding-a-ling-a-ling, ding-a-ling-a-ling
And a wife cheating fella
He can’t see his stupidity, his stupidity
He’s blind like Helen Keller

As he speaks watch the drool, that Rudy is a fool
Giuliani!!!
All his friends on Wall Street think that he can’t be beat
Lord above
He is a cliché machine all of the time he is
Scheming, signore
Scuzza me, but you see, he’s from the G.O.P.
Giuliani!!!

(He just sits there and lies but to him we are wise
Giuliani) Giuliani!!!
(He appears in prime time and repeats his tired lines
Giuliani) Giuliani!!!
(He was king ding-a-ling-a-ling, ding-a-ling-a-ling
And a wife cheating fella) Go to Hell, cheating fella
He can’t see his stupidity, his stupidity
He’s blind like Helen Keller) Sorry fella

Rudy’s angry and cruel and stubborn like a mule
GiulianI!!! (Giuliani)
He is doomed to repeat Presidential defeat
Sure enough
He tells us of his dreams but his words have no
Meaning, signore
Scuzza me, Rudy G., but we hardly knew ye
Cuz you’re boring (so boring)
See, we’re snoring

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(Diaper)Dave Vitter Dissed By Bobby Jindal(Bells)

Louisiana's Gov. Bobby Jindal(Bells) and Sen. (Diaper)Dave Vitter

The most crooked political party in one of the crookedest states in the Union has a genuine case of infighting. CNN reports that Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal(Bells) has finally answered a questioned asked of him for months: Will he endorse embattled Republican Sen. (Diaper)David Vitter’s reelection bid? Jindal’s answer is “no”. He told local television station WDSU that, “Voters can make up their own minds”.

Jindal added he doesn’t like to get involved in federal races, though the station reports he has backed federal-office seekers in the past.

Jindal’s rejection of Vitter exacerbates the problems that have arisen from reports in 2007 that the married Senator was involved with a Washington, DC prostitute (while he was wearing diapers) and revelations earlier this year that a high-ranking staffer who’s position was to oversee “women’s issues” was permitted to stay on the job after being convicted of domestic abuse charges involving the stabbing of a female.

It is always most enjoyable to watch Republicans eat their own.

Please remember to click on the song links below to familiarize yourselves with both of the tunes and to have more fun singing along with today’s duo of song parodies.

Getting Better song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jk0dBZ1meio

DAVID VITTER

(sung to the Beatles song “Getting Better”)

It’s David Vitter all the time
That David Vitter is a fool (only half a brain)
His hookers tell him that he’s cool (as they drain the vein)
Just like Scottie Brown (oh,oh)
Trousers are down (oh, oh)
Vitter just stutters and drools (Oooh)

You’ve got to admit that David Vitter (Vitter)
Wears baby diapers all the time (it can’t get no worse)
You’ve got to admit that David Vitter (Vitter)
That David Vitter
Just loves vice crimes

A useless and angry young man
Dave’s now universally panned
Let’s give him the bird, that obnoxious turd
Let’s give it to him with both hands

You’ve got to admit that David Vitter (Vitter)
Wears baby diapers all the time (it can’t get no worse)
You’ve got to admit that David Vitter (Vitter)
That David Vitter
Just loves vice crimes

We know David Vitter crawls in slime

Wears baby diapers all the time
Vitter, Vitter, Vitter
He leads a secret life of crime
Vitter, Vitter, Vitter

Dave loves to be cruel to his woman
He cheats and he spends all his time with the hookers he loves
Vitter is mean and he’s oh so obscene
Just like all those Republican men (ooh)

Just admit it David Vitter
You’re an offender all the time (you can’t get no worse)
Please just admit it David Vitter, your baby sitter
She dropped a dime

We know David Vitter crawls in slime

Wears baby diapers all the time
Vitter, Vitter, Vitter
He leads a secret life of crime
Vitter, Vitter, Vitter

We know David Vitter crawls in slime

Jingle Bells song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2MFducncsg

JINDALBELLS

(sung to the song of “Jingle Bells”)

Dashing through Naw’Leans
Sporting his brand new short pants
Taking in the scenes
While practicing a dance

Down in Baton Rouge
He’s a resident
But he can’t wait to move up north
And be the President

Oh, Jindal-Bells, Jindal-Bells
Jindal  I say, “Nay”
Oh how dull it is to be the Guv’nor of LA

Hey, Jindal-Bells, Jindal-Bells
Can Bobby come to play?
He looks like a nine year old out playing in the hay

(musical interlude)

A month or two ago
While climbing in a tree
Bobby was surprised
By the G.O.P.

They said they needed him
And not that Sarah P.
To replenish all their hopes and dreams
As their next nominee

Oh, Jindal-Bells, Jindal-Bells
Jindal  I say, “Nay”
Oh how dull it is to be the Guv’nor of LA

Hey, Jindal-Bells, Jindal-Bells
Can Bobby come to play?
He looks like a nine year old out playing in the hay

(musical interlude)

Bobby then replied (bobby then replied)
What about Romney? (what about romney)
He’s too on our side (he’s too on our side)
And much smarter than me (ha, ha, ha)

Then there’s Newt Gingrich (then there’s newt Gingrich)
And good old Huckabee (and good old Huckabee)
Let’s not forget that other bitch
The Texan, Kay Bailey

Oh, Jindal-Bells, Jindal-Bells
Jindal  I say, “Nay”
Oh how dull it is to be the Guv’nor of LA

Hey, Jindal-Bells, Jindal-Bells
Can Bobby come to play?
He looks like a nine year old out play-ing in the hay!

Bobby Jindal “Bells” Gaffes Again

You remember Bobby Jindal, don’t you? He was the once and future rising star of the G.O.P. before he delivered his party’s embarrassingly sophomoric response to President Obama’s February 2009 address to Congress. Suddenly thereafter, Jindal was persona non grata to the Republicans.

In an effort to redeem himself in the eyes of the G.O.P., Jindal continued to rail against the President’s stimulus package. He went so far as to proclaim that his State of Louisiana would not accept stimulus funds from the federal government. Of course he lied. Indeed, Jindal even posed in photographs with those big checks as he doled the federal funds to his constituents (see below).

Jindal proudly distributes stimulus funds.

Well, he’s b-a-a-a-a-ck! Nonetheless, in his newest attempt to redeem his image, Bobby Jindal “Bells” has stepped in it again. Ever since the Gulf oil disaster off the coast of his state, Jindal has been shaking his fist at BP and the federal government’s inability to stop the river of oil poisoning the Louisiana coastline and wetlands. His anger at BP is understandable as that company is solely responsible for both the spill and its clean up. But why is he angry at the federal government? Jindal, after all, is one of the biggest conservative proponents of a limited and hands-off federal government. He favors the limited regulation that actually triggered this disaster and yet he now wants his state to be bailed out by Big G.

Yet that is not all that Jindal wants. He claims to be outraged at those responsible for the oil rig disaster yet he is also criticizing President Obama’s moratorium on future off-shore drilling until a safer means of production can be guaranteed. In other words, baby boy Bobby wants to have his cake and eat it too. He wants to capitalize on his outrage at the disaster and yet he simultaneously wants to enable the disaster perpetrators to continue their unsafe practices. Bobby Jindal speaketh with forked tongue.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4XEbwyvxPc

TINFOIL KEEPS FORMING ON HIS HEAD

(sung to the B.J. Thomas song “Raindrops keep Falling On My Head”)

Tinfoil keeps formin’ on his head
Bob Jindal’s the guy who can’t remember what he said
Boy, what a dimwit
That tinfoil keeps formin’ on his head, it keeps formin’

Jindal’s been sitting way too long in the sun
He won’t admit it but he needs those Stimulus Funds
Just to keep his job
That tinfoil keeps formin’ on his head, it keeps formin’

And there’s one thing we know
This Jindal guy will cheat me indiscreetly
It won’t be long till Bobby J. implodes completely

Tinfoil keeps formin’ on his head
It’s hard to believe that he’s Louisiana born and bred
Whining constantly
Yet, Bobby still wants to play the game of complainin’
He just can’t see
He’s a spoiled crybaby

(musical interlude)

It won’t be long till Bobby J. implodes completely

Tinfoil keeps formin’ on his head
There’s no chance his state will ever emerge from the red
Not with Bobby J.
Cuz he don’t believe in funds for good job re-trainin’
Or equal pay
There’s no hope for LA

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea)-Christmas Edition-1

The Twelve Days of Christmas Song Parodies continues…

These are a few noteworthy news stories that have been orbiting the stratosphere this week.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s edition of, “It Makes Your Head Spin Like Linda Blair’s” features Sarah Palin. It was just announced that the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska will appear as a paid guest speaker at a fund raiser for a pair of Canadian “Socialized Medicine” hospitals. Huh? The Anchorage Daily News reports, “Sarah Palin has been booked for an April speaking engagement at a fundraiser for two Hamilton, Ontario, hospitals that, Think Progress reminds us, are part of Canada’s abortion-providing, single-payer health care system and offer the type of end-of-life counseling that Palin has attributed to death panels.”

THIS JUST IN: In other Sarah Palin related news we have a new tidbit from her once and future son-in-law Levi Johnston. Johnston’s manager, Tank Johnson called into a talk radio show on December 11th and said that his client plans to reveal startling incriminating information about Sarah Palin that will shock the nation. The details will be included in a book that Johnston plans to release in March 2010. Hey Sarah, beware the Ides of March. Will there be a matching book-hawking cross-country bus/jet tour also? Enquiring minds want to know.

BREAKING NEWS: In this week’s edition of “The Continuing Story of Tea-Bagger Lunacy” we have the group’s December 15th demonstration plans. Rather than describe it to you, here is a portion of the official release:

So here’s the plan. On Tuesday, December 15 at 8:45 AM thousands of us will meet in Washington, DC at the fountain in Upper Senate Park. From there we will march to the Senate offices, go inside, and demonstrate our opposition to the government takeover of health care. We call this plan “Government Waiting Rooms”. The intention is to go inside the Senate offices and hallways, and play out the role of patients waiting for treatment in government controlled medical facilities. As the day goes on some of us will pretend to die from our untreated illnesses and collapse on the floor. Many of us plan to stay there until they force us to leave. A backup location for this demonstration will be announced if they block us from entering the offices.

Government controlled medical facilities? Dying while waiting for treatment? Do these sophomoric morons realize that the more they exaggerate their false claims about health care reform, they more the rest of the nation ignores them?

THIS JUST IN: Jon Stewart of Comedy Central’s The Daily Show exposed a Glenn Beck conflict of interest this week. Stewart pointed out that Beck constantly advises his television and radio audience to buy gold as a safeguard against the collapse of the U.S. Dollar which will result from the Obama Administration’s policies. Indeed, Beck has said the following:

When the system eventually collapses, and the government comes with guns and confiscates, you know, everything in your home and all your possessions, and then you fight off the raving mad cannibalistic crowds that Ted Turner talked about, don’t come crying to me. I told you: get gold.

The sheer lunacy of that statement aside, Stewart revealed however, that Beck failed to disclose to his audience that he is a paid spokesman for Goldline International, a precious metals vendor. Why is it that Comedy Central does a better job of investigative journalism than the major networks? ABC, NBC, CBS and NPR should be ashamed of themselves.

BREAKING NEWS: Kudos to the television drama series Law and Order; Special Victims Unit for their honest no holds barred description of conservative right-wing pundits. in a recent episode, a character on the show said this:

Garrison, Limbaugh, Beck, O’Reilly, all of them. They are like a cancer spreading ignorance and hate. They have convinced folks that immigrants are the problem, not corporations that failed to pay a living wage, or a broken health care system.

THIS JUST IN: The Moonie-owned Washington Times has announced that it is cutting its work force by 40% and beginning free distribution of its product. The right-wing propaganda paper is so bereft of reliable news coverage that its circulation will most likely fall even further now that the paper is free. This is so because when its  few remaining paid subscribers realize that they no longer need to feel obligated to read the rag, they probably will forget that it ever existed.

BREAKING NEWS: In this week’s episode of “What The Heck Took So Long?” Jenny Sanford, the wife of South Carolina’s adulterous governor Mark Sanford, has announced that she is filing for divorce. She has been unable to successfully locate and serve divorce papers upon her husband however, because his staff believes that he is hiking somewhere on the Appalachian trail.

THIS JUST IN: In this week’s episode of “How Appropriate” we have Sarah Palin accepting an invitation to be keynote speaker at the Bowling Proprietors Association of America convention in Las Vegas next summer. Hmm, where to begin? Maybe she will bring a few spare copies of her book. Perhaps some of her supporters will have the chance to strike up a conversation with the unemployed social networker. Will Sarah be capable of keeping her language out of the gutter? Stay tuned.

BREAKING NEWS: Joke of the day. Why did Sarah Palin have a book signing in Sandpoint? Idaho, Alaska !!!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

My Favorite Things song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0KHb_xCHTI&feature=related

MY LEAST FAVORITE THINGS

(sung to the Julie Andrews song “My Favorite Things”)

Mike is called “Moses” and Romney’s called “Mittens”
Jindal is running but can’t raise a pittance
All of those candidates want to be kings
They are some of my least favorite things

Most of them phonies with brains made of noodles
Palin’s hairstyle reminds me of a poodle’s
The G.O.P. is filled with ding-a-lings
They are some of my least favorite things

Palin will bless us with winks of her lashes
Gingrich and Rudy just sit on their asses
Huckabee’s so holy he thinks he has wings
They are some of my least favorite things

“No civil rights”,
Pawlenty sings
He is raving mad
And when Michele Bachmann speaks aloud it stings
Yes that hurts my ears real bad

They are just posers so I say, “Good riddance”
Remind me of the inbred guy in “Deliverance”
All of them have extramarital flings
They are some of my least favorite things

They have no taste just like a bland egg noodle
They should be thrown out with the kit and caboodle
All of them acting like puppets on strings
They are some of my least favorite things

G.O.P. women have life-long hot flashes
The Grand Old Party is reduced to ashes
They cannot tolerate arrows or slings
They are some of my least favorite things

They’re not bright lights
Mental weaklings
Poor behaving cads
I wish they’d all congregate down in Palm Springs
And then I would be so glad.

Jindal Bells, Jindal Bells, Jindal All The Way

Bobby Jindal congratulates Santa Claus and associate for relocating North Pole Embassy to Louisiana

The Twelve Days of Christmas Song Parodies continues…

Just when we were ready to put his picture on a milk carton, Republican Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal has re-awaken from months of hibernation. Where has this once and future G.O.P. presidential hopeful been? Only last year a week could not pass without Jindal criticizing any and all types of federal spending with the exception of war spending of course. He would pop up on Sunday morning talk shows on a regular basis to boast of his fiscal conservatism and to denounce the federal stimulus package. It now appears that Jindal is in fact a chamelean that has changed its colors.

Yesterday Jindal held a press conference wherein he lauded this year’s $ 400 million in federal funds spent in Louisiana for coastal restoration projects in Terrabonne. He also heralded an additional $ 780 million in federal funds to be used for the same purpose in Louisiana next year. Apparently Jindal sees no hypocrisy in hawking his fiscally conservative opposition to federal spending and then gleefully accepting the enormous amount of federal funds spent in his state. Jindal said:

These investments are vital to our state. Not only for the protection of our land and property, but most importantly for the safety of our citizens.

With this type of double-speak on record it may be difficult for Jindal to avoid the dreaded “flip-flop” label should he seek national elective office in the future. Then again, if his Republican opposition consists of  Sarah “I Was For That Bridge Before I Was Against It” Palin or Mitt “I Was Pro-Choice Before I Was Anti-Choice” Romney, then he will be in good company. Bobby, we hardly knew ye.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Jingle Bells song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2MFducncsg

JINDALBELLS

(sung to the song of “Jingle Bells”)

Dashing through Naw’Leans
Sporting his brand new short pants
Taking in the scenes
While practicing a dance

Down in Baton Rouge
He’s a resident
But he can’t wait to move up north
And be the President

Oh, Jindal-Bells, Jindal-Bells
Jindal  I say, “Nay”
Oh how dull it is to be the Guv’nor of LA

Hey, Jindal-Bells, Jindal-Bells
Can Bobby come to play?
He looks like a nine year old out playing in the hay

(musical interlude)

A month or two ago
While climbing in a tree
Bobby was surprised
By the G.O.P.

They said they needed him
And not that Sarah P.
To replenish all their hopes and dreams
As their next nominee

Oh, Jindal-Bells, Jindal-Bells
Jindal  I say, “Nay”
Oh how dull it is to be the Guv’nor of LA

Hey, Jindal-Bells, Jindal-Bells
Can Bobby come to play?
He looks like a nine year old out playing in the hay

(musical interlude)

Bobby then replied (bobby then replied)
What about Romney? (what about romney)
He’s too on our side (he’s too on our side)
And much smarter than me (ha, ha, ha)

Then there’s Newt Gingrich (then there’s newt Gingrich)
And good old Huckabee (and good old Huckabee)
Let’s not forget that other bitch
The Texan, Kay Bailey

Oh, Jindal-Bells, Jindal-Bells
Jindal  I say, “Nay”
Oh how dull it is to be the Guv’nor of LA

Hey, Jindal-Bells, Jindal-Bells
Can Bobby come to play?
He looks like a nine year old out play-ing in the hay!

Sarah Palin and the (G)rand (O)ld (P)erverts

Former G.O.P. Senator, Arlen Specter at Town Hall Meeting

Former G.O.P. Senator, Arlen Specter at Town Hall Meeting

We all believed after the last two election cycle defeats for Republicans that the party would disappear as the result of voter defections. We did not anticipate that the party would implode from within as the result of numerous party member resignations triggered by so many tawdry sex scandals. OK, to be honest, maybe we did think that could happen also, too. Nonetheless, we did not think it would happen so rapidly.

Let’s take a look at our list of Republican philanderers and perverts. Ronald Reagan, Newt Gingrich, John McCain, David Vitter, Mark Foley, Larry Craig, Rudolph Giuliani, Ted Haggard, Bob Allen, Glenn Murphy, Jr., John Ensign, Sarah Palin (maybe), Mark Sanford and Paul Stanley.

Oh wait, now we have another one. Let’s have a warm welcome and a stream of hearty applause for California State Assemblyman, Mike Duvall. This guy’s accomplishments in the field of sexual depravity rank right up there with Senator David Vitter and his diaper wearing trysts with hookers. Duvall abruptly resigned from office last week after it was revealed that he inadvertently broadcast descriptions of his sexual conquests over a live microphone feed which recorded his boasting. If that weren’t embarrassing enough, it was discovered that these sexual liaisons took place with women other than his wife. You see where this is going don’t you? That is correct, Duvall is a strict “family values” Republican and strong supporter of the sanctity of marriage. But then again, aren’t they all?

In the recording, Duvall describes in graphic detail about the women he said he slept with including one of whom that was a lobbyist with an energy firm with business before the utilities committee on which Duvall sat as vice chairman. Here is Mike Duvall telling us all about it in his own words:

“I’ve been getting into spanking her,” he said on the recording. “I like it!”

And as for his girl’s panties’

“She wears little eye patch underwear.”

The frequency of his trysts?

“The other day she came here with her underwear. And so we made love on Wednesday a lot.”

And as for his other mistress,

“Shar—oh, she is hot. I talked to her yesterday. She goes, ‘So are we finished?’ I said no. And I go, ‘You know about the other one, but the other one doesn’t know about you.’”

Trust us, these tapes go a lot further but we would like to keep this blog at least somewhat decent.

Now it is time to update our list of Republican philandering perverts. Ronald Reagan, Newt Gingrich, John McCain, David Vitter, Mark Foley, Larry Craig, Rudolph Giuliani, Ted Haggard, Bob Allen, Glenn Murphy, Jr., John Ensign, Sarah Palin (maybe), Mark Sanford, Paul Stanley and Mike Duvall.

Today’s song parody deals with how it must feel to be a member of the Republican Party these days. Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along.

Oh, almost forgot. We realize that there is nothing new in today’s post about Sarah Palin but we still like to mention her in the title of blog posts because it gets everyone’s spirits up. Also, too, did anybody watch that thrilling 4th quarter come from behind victory of my beloved Green Bay Packers last night. I love when they beat the Bears. Go Pack, Go!

Bad Boy song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtwiY11xeus

BAD BOY

(sung to the Beatles song “Bad Boy”)

A bad little perv resigned his office for good
He’s loyal to the right when he’s not busy sporting wood
He sounded just like a fool on that live open mike
I really hope his spouse doesn’t know he’s spanking young girls all night
Well, he likes it when their bottom’s bare
And all those stories he does share
Hey, Duvall, behave yourself.

Buys every S & M book on the magazine stand
Every dime that he gets is spent on softener for his hand
There is no telling how low Mike Duvall is willing to stoop
From slut and mistress trolling to joining a support group
He used a spatula as a prop
To spank those rear-ends nonstop
Now, Duvall, behave yourself

Now your lovin’ momma’s gonna throw you out of bed
She was watching television when she learned what you said
It’s pretty scary that your kids know that you are a rat
You lost everything you had as a result of that one chat
You may still get the “Bobbitt chop”
Cuz your head is hard as rock
Mike Duvall, behave yourself

Jindal-Bells, Jindal-Bells, Jindal All The Way!

Mr. Jindal's Neighborhood promotional photo

Mr. Jindal's Neighborhood promotional photo

What a pathetic maroon. It appears that Louisiana Governor, Bobby Jindal has fallen into the same trap as Republican governors Mark Sanford (South Carolina) and Sarah Palin (Alaska). After last November’s election, these three (along with a few other more established Republicans) were considered to be serious contenders for the 2012 Republican Presidential nomination. But, something funny happened on the way to the convention. All three first tried to make a name for themselves by publicly declaring that they opposed all of President Obama’s stimulus initiatives and then upped the ante by declaring that they would not accept any stimulus funds on behalf of their respective states.

Problem is, when you publicly declare something, the public tends to take notice and hold you to your word. Sanford and Palin both reversed track and accepted the funds. Coincidentally, Palin is no longer a governor and Sanford’s days are numbered. So, then there was one. Bobby Jindal.

After witnessing the demise of Palin and Sanford, Jindal has elected to try a different tactic. He criticized the stimulus package allotted to his home state. He then gleefully, yet secretly, accepted the federal dollars. Thereafter, just yesterday, he disbursed hundreds of thousands of those same dollars (with a promise of millions more to follow) to his constituents but failed to inform them that the money was, in fact, federal stimulus money. How did he do this? Simple, he had a few of those giant checks printed up (you know, like the Publishers’ Clearinghouse checks on tv) which showed the payor/maker to be, ready…, you got it… ” State of Louisiana, Office of the Governor.”

That’s correct. He simply negated to tell his constituents that they were receiving federal stimulus proceeds and instead, mislead them to believe that his office was responsible for the payouts. (See photo below.) As Arte Johnson from the 1960’s television show, Laugh-In would say, “Very interesting…but stupid!” Jindal failed to realize that even some Louisianians can read about his deception in the press. Ouch!

jindal-check

For a very good description of Jindal’s latest antics, see this Crooks and Liars piece here.

Today’s song parody is another from off that list of #1 songs that appeared on my birthday. This one being from 1970. Please enjoy.

Please click on the song link below to have more fun singing along.

Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4XEbwyvxPc

TINFOIL KEEPS FORMING ON HIS HEAD

(sung to the B.J. Thomas song “Raindrops keep Falling On My Head”)

Tinfoil keeps formin’ on his head
Bob Jindal’s the guy who can’t remember what he said
Boy, what a dimwit
That tinfoil keeps formin’ on his head, it keeps formin’

Jindal’s been sitting way too long in the sun
He won’t admit it but he needs those Stimulus Funds
Just to keep his job
That tinfoil keeps formin’ on his head, it keeps formin’

And there’s one thing we know
This Jindal guy will cheat me indiscreetly
It won’t be long till Bobby J. implodes completely

Tinfoil keeps formin’ on his head
It’s hard to believe that he’s Louisiana born and bred
Whining constantly
Yet, Bobby still wants to play the game of complainin’
He just can’t see
He’s a spoiled crybaby

(musical interlude)

It won’t be long till Bobby J. implodes completely

Tinfoil keeps formin’ on his head
There’s no chance his state will ever emerge from the red
Not with Bobby J.
Cuz he don’t believe in funds for good job re-trainin’
Or equal pay
There’s no hope for LA


Palin, It’s Fittin’ She’s Quittin”

Giving out autographs at SarahPac break-up party.

Giving out autographs at SarahPac break-up party.

Sarah, we hardly knew ye. Wouldn’t you know, we go on vacation and Sarah Palin quits. If we had known that that is all it took, we would have taken a trip last September.

Palin’s abrupt resignation as Alaska’s governor last Friday was certainly welcome, but it also causes some concern here at Lynnrocket’s Blast-Off. As you know, this blog dedicates itself to lambasting all things Republican. We have a lot of fun pointing out the numerous inane actions and statements of the likes of Rush Limbaugh, Man Coulter, Mark Sanford (and Son) and Bobby Jindal(bells), but Sarah Palin is without peer when it comes to supplying hilariously ridiculous material.

The following is just a short list of funny Palin utterances:

“Thanks, but no thanks”

– “I’ll have to get back to ya on that, Katie”

– “Drill baby, drill”

– “Pallin’ around with terrorists”

– “Ya betcha”

– “All of em, any of em that are put in front of me”

– “Putin rearin’ his head over Alaska”

– “The job of the Vice President is to get down in there in the Senate and make good policy”

– “I’m not a quitter, I’m a fighter”

– “The libral media”, and our favorite…

– “Mavericky”

We hope and pray that she stays in the national spotlight for a while longer. The best scenario would be for her to run for President in 2012. Can you imagine the gems she will come up with while running her own campaign? Imagine the hilarity as she debates relatively intelligent Republican primary candidates and is forced to appear on serious television programs such as Meet The Press or Face The Nation.

Stay tuned.

Today’s song parody is a nostalgic look back at those Palin days.

Please click on the song link below because it makes singing along a lot more fun.

Those Were The Days song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5pkkAhETYg

THOSE PALIN DAYS

(sung to the Mary Hopkins song “Those Were The Days”)

Once upon a time back in Alaska
Sarah Palin gave an interview
She quit her day job and transferred her powers
She’s hoping to earn a spot on “The View”

Those Palin days my friend
We thought they’d never end
She’d sing and dance to earn per diem pay
She’d appear on the news
Give bumbling interviews
She was so stung and punked by Tina Fey

La La La La La La
La La La La La La
La La La La
La La La La La La

We’d scream in unison “oh, God, please why us”
Please wave your hand and make her go away
If you don’t believe us then just try us
We’d be so glad we’d call a holiday

Those Palin days my friend
We thought they’d never end
Dumb and confused forever and a day
Her Naughty Monkey shoes
She never had a clue
God help you if you’re female, black or gay

La La La La La La
La La La La La La
La La La La
La La La La La La

Two years left before the next election
Not the darling of the G.O.P.
There would be no Palin resurrection
Exit the Wasilla Hillbillies

Those Palin days my friend
Have come to a dead end
Her future now is stormy and it’s grey
There’s no more “Caribou”
Or wolf and moose head stew
Her song’s been sung now let’s just celebrate

La La La La La La
La La La La La La
La La La La
La La La La La La

Her resignation brought us all to laughter
She leaves her office under cloud of shame
Alaska will be better hereinafter
She belongs in the Moron Hall of fame

Those Palin days my friend
Thank God they’re at an end
We’ll sing and dance forever and a day
Sarah can sing the blues
Todd can go back to booze
Those Palin days, oh yes, those Palin days

La La La La La La
La La La La La La
La La La La
La La La La La La
La La La La La La
La La La La La La
La La La La
La La La La La La

Mark Sanford (and Son)! (Updated)

Republican South Carolina Governor, Mark Sanford tries to remember whether he went to Appalachian Trail or Argentina

Republican South Carolina Governor, Mark Sanford tries to remember whether he went to Appalachian Trail or Argentina

Republicans, the gift that keeps on giving. Now batting, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford. Where do we begin? Sanford disappears for six days and neither his family nor his staff have any idea as to his whereabouts. The press catches on to the case of the missing governor and so his staff makes up a story that Sanford needed to clear his head by means of hiking the Appalachian Trail.

That fabrication unravels, however when an unidentified South Carolina law enforcement official informs CNN that Sanford’s vehicle has been parked at the airport for several days. Next, airport officials confirm that Sanford has just re-entered the United States from Argentina. What up with that? Finally, we learn today that Sanford has lately been borrowing law enforcement vehicles in the middle of the night for sojourns to parts unknown. Sounds like a little head shrinking may be in order. Or, perhaps he just has a girlfriend like so many other of the “Family Values” Republicans. In any event, this example of irrational behavior should put an end to any Presidential aspirations that Sanford may have harbored for 2012.

UPDATE

Suspicions confirmed. Mark Sanford was traveling with his mistress. We can now update our list of Republican “Family Values” adulterers.

Ronald Reagan, Newt Gingrich, John McCain, David Vitter, Mark Foley, Larry Craig, Rudolph Giuliani, Ted Haggard, Bob Allen, Glenn Murphy, Jr., John Ensign, Sarah Palin (maybe) and Mark Sanford.

Batting next for the Republicans, Mittwit Romney.

Please click on the song link below so as to have more fun singing along.

Sweet Caroline song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmV_YJm5jAc

SOUTH CAROLINE

(sung to the Neil Diamond song “Sweet Caroline”)

Where he began, we can’t begin to know where
But we do know that something’s wrong
Does Sanford drink?
Is this guy dumb or dumber?
Will Mark next fly off to Hong Kong?

Vans, minivans, roams about
Losing me, losing you
South Caroline
Why did Sanford leave the hood?
He should resign, that would do your state some good

Why, oh why?
Is he all-right, is the guv’nor so lonely?
Where will he next wander off to?
Maybe Frankfurt?
Frankfurt or maybe Boulder?
Not Pennsylvania Avenue

Done, he’s now done, petered out
He should be, in the zoo
South Caroline
Is Sanford misunderstood?
He should resign, that would do your state some good

(musical interlude)

South Caroline
Why did Sanford leave the hood?

South Caroline
Is Sanford misunderstood?

South Caroline

Newt Gin(grinch)

gingrichGrinch

It looks more and more like Newt Gingrich will join the field of G.O.P. contestants for the 2012 Presidential election. “Contestants”, truly is the operative word. The potential group of Republican characters seeking the party’s nomination resembles a hastily assembled cast of has-been celebrities and relative unknowns for a newly developed reality tv series. Perhaps they will name it, Who Wants To Be The Losing Elephant ?

The bucket list seems to presently include Mitt(wit) Romney, Mike Huckabee Hound, Bobby Jindal(bells), Tim (Good ‘n) Pawlenty, Sarah (Baked Alaska) Palin and Mark Sanford (and Son). By the way wouldn’t you just love the idea of a President Sanford taking the stage, not with Hail to The Chief playing in the background but rather, the theme to Sanford and Son. Doo Doo Doo Doo, Doo Doo Doo Doo do do do…   Ahh, but we digress.

Inasmuch as it was Newt Gingrich that was the keynote speaker at this week’s House/Senate Republican fundraising dinner, he must also now be considered a potential 2012 nominee. What with his recent “she is a racist” “oh, wait a minute, no she is not a racist” flip-flop regarding Supreme Court nominee, Sonia Sotomayor, however, he too is now somewhat of a joke. Alas, he too deserves a nickname. How about Newt Gin(grinch)?

If any of you readers have any other suggestions for nicknames for any of the potential Republican candidates, we would love to hear them. Please leave your contributions in the comment section of this post.

And here is the aptly entitled song parody of the day…

Please remember to click on the song link below before reading the lyrics because it is so much more fun to sing along while the actual song is playing.

You’re A Mean One Mr. Grinch song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPBS7dVrE1U

YOU’RE A HAS-BEEN, NEWT GINGRICH

(sung to the Dr. Seuss song “The Grinch That Stole Christmas”)

You’re a has-been, Newt Gingrich
You’re lacking in appeal
Your were ousted as The Speaker
No one wants to hear you squeal
Newt Gingrich

You’re a unicycle
Without even one wheel

You’ve had three wives, Newt Gingrich
A mistress in the hole
Philandering’s your day job
You’re a slimy ugly troll
Newt Gingich

These woman that like you, must
Be on work release or parole

You’re a vile one, Newt Gingrich
Your words reek with rancid bile
Your criticism of Bill Clinton
As you’re cheating all the while
Newt Gingrich

There couldn’t be a bigger hypocrite
Within a Midwest country mile

You’re a foul one, Newt Gingrich
Your first divorce smelled of skunk
Your wife, Jackie fighting cancer
You told her she was junk
Newt Gingrich

The nicest words to describe you,
Are, as follows, and I quote, Pink. Wank, Punk

You’re a coward, Newt Gingrich
Avoided your army spot
Deferment-seeking chicken-hawk
That likes to talk real tough
Newt Gingrich

Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing
With the most disgraceful assortment of Republican
Sound-bytes imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots

You’re the racist, Newt Gingrich
It’s not Judge Sotomayor
You play the race card as a white guy
That’s so laughable I’m sure
Newt Gingrich

You’re a stinking pile of vomit
Sitting in the sun
With feces on top