Category Archives: Bill Mahar

Christine O’Donnell Says “No” To Dancing But “Yes” To Writing

Unfortunately, we learned this morning that we will be deprived of the chance to laugh out loud at this season’s version of “Dancing With The Stars”. It was announced that Christine O’Donnell will not participate in the greatly anticipated parade of fools. This means that we have been denied the opportunity to guffaw at yet another political conservative as they try to get their “cool-on”. Remember Tom “Convicted Felon” Delay’s effeminate rendition of “Wild Thing”? Could anyone forget Bristol Palin’s gorilla suit? Oh, what could have been as Christine O’Donnell donned her witch costume or pranced around carrying a vibrator.

But alas, we must carry-on without the twice-failed Teapublican candidate for a Delaware Senate seat. There is a silver lining however. In a statement, O’Donnell says she instead wants to devote her time to completing a book on the 2010 election. She said:

“I’m honored to have been invited to participate in one of the few uplifting TV shows out there. The physical challenge made it all the more appealing. Meeting challenges head-on makes us stronger. Yet, for now, I have another challenge before me; to complete a book that tells the story of the 2010 election cycle with the dignity and respect it deserves. It is my hope that this book will serve as a clarion call to my fellow citizen-activists by taking the reader beyond petitions and protests and articulating not just what we should do, but why we must do it.”

“My goal is for the book and the new PAC I’m starting to serve as resources to activate and motivate those in this middle-class movement who worked so hard to launch the new revolution. If either of these projects were further along, I would be lacing up my dancing shoes right now.”

Christine O’Donnell will follow in the footsteps of her “Mama Grizzly” Sarah Palin and write a memoir. It is certain to be a compelling read as she describes in lurid detail, her date on a satanic alter. She may relate all her deep insightful bedtime thoughts while she was busy not masturbating. She might more fully describe her statement to Bill Maher that “evolution is a myth”. She can even provide us with her interpretation of the U.S. Constitution which she believes provides for a full co-mingling of church and state. Finally, we can only assume that the final chapter will be devoted to her defense of the federal investigation into her alleged misuse of campaign contributions for such personal purposes as rent, food and vacation travel. Oh, this book should be a doozy.

Stay tuned for more details.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

“Everyday I Write The Book” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfFunjzyIsE&feature=player_embedded

EVERYDAY SHE WRITES HER BOOK

(sung to the Elvis Costello song “Everyday I Write The Book”)

We must thank the Lord up above us
O’Donnell is such a go-getter
We’ll soon learn much more ‘bout this debtor
She got few votes, but she won’t be a footnote
She’s a girl on a mission writing her first edition

And, we all question just how long it took
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book

Chapter One, masturbating is just so wrong
Chapter Two, the recipe for witch’s brew
Her times with Hannity are the subject of Chapter Three
All of those embarrassing pics in Chapters Four, Five and Six

And, we all question just how long it took
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book

The lies she hawked
Her hate-fueled talk, she was so pissy, we laughed
In four or five paragraphs
Christine’s vile nonsense and her insane remarks
Are captured there in her quotation marks

And, we all question just how long it took
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book

Everyday she writes her book

Tho’ her book may be met with indifference
She’s not a lover she’s a fighter
With her pen and her electric typewriter
She’ll be living in her world as a martyr with no equal
She’ll still own the film rights and be working on the sequel

And, we all question just how long it took
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book
We can’t believe how long it took, everyday she writes the book
We can’t believe how long it took, everyday she writes the book
We can’t believe how long it took, everyday she writes the book

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New Rule: Nobody Else Is Hitler!

Bill Maher of course, provides the inspiration behind the title of today’s blog entry. The Tea-Baggers, Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, Michele Bachmann, Sarah Palin and the rest of the out of control far-right conservatives should learn a lesson from the Germans about the absurdity of comparing people like President Obama to Adolf Hitler. Let’s hope this targeted audience is educated enough to read and comprehend the following excerpted portions from Germany’s Der Tagesspiegel newspaper titled, “Everyone Lately Is Just ‘Like Hitler'”:

“We Germans wince when we hear about people being compared to Hitler….But if Germans understand the enormity of the insult, others evidently do not. It’s ‘preposterous’ that President Obama can hardly get through a day without some Republican calling him Hitler, as if the mild-mannered democrat could have anything in common with history’s most evil dictator….Foreigners should get this clear: If your enemy started a world war and nearly exterminated entire ethnic groups, then fair enough; if not, he’s not ‘like Hitler'”

If only the extreme right-wing loonies could ponder that lesson, they would understand how ridiculous they appear when the rest of America and the world witness stuff like this:

Glenn Beck: “I am not comparing him (Obama) to this, but please read Mein Kampf for this reason. If you read it now you see that Hitler told you what he was gong to do…Please America, take this man (Obama) for what he says.”;

Rush Limbaugh: “Obama’s got a health care logo that’s right out of Adolf Hitler’s playbook…Adolf Hitler, like Barack Obama, also ruled by dictate.”;

Ann “The Man” Coulter: “With one association after another, that is beyond the pale with Barack Obama, I feel like we are talking to the Germans after Hitler comes to power, saying ‘Oh, well, I didn’t know. I had no idea he was gonna be like this.’ With this guy, Americans ought to know.”;

Michele Bachmann: Bachmann (R-Crazy Town) endorsed a conference sponsored by the Citizens Council on Health Care in which the featured speaker said, “Obama, like Hitler, is ‘a charismatic leader who promises full pocketbooks…He would pave the way for a future Antichrist. Obama scares me because he has no record and people flock to him. Hitler also had no record, people flocked to him and both wrote a book. Christians laid flat and Hitler came to power, just like with Obama.”;

Sarah Palin: The former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska encouraged her Twitter readers to read an article comparing the Obama administration forcing BP to establish an escrow fund to compensate victims of the Gulf oil spill to Nazism. Her tweet said, “This is about the rule of law vs. an unconstitutional power grab. Read Thomas Sowell’s article.” Of course Sowell’s article begins like this,

“When Adolf Hitler was building up the Nazi movement in the 1920s, leading up to his taking power in the 1930s, he deliberately sought to activate people who did not normally pay much attention to politics. In our times, American democracy is being dismantled piece by piece, before our very eyes by the current administration in Washington, and few people seem to be concerned about it.”

Michelle Malkin: A picture is worth a thousand words:

Michelle Malkin poses with "swastika/Obama" Tea-Bagger

Assorted Tea-Baggers: Once again, a picture is worth a thousand words:

That noise is the morning school bell. All of those mentioned above please report to class immediately so that you can potentially learn something.

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

Lynnrockets needs your help. Boston’s largest talk radio station (WRKO AM) has chosen Lynnrockets as a finalist in its “Next Great Political Blogger Contest”. Yours truly has been selected  by the station’s staff (from over 200 entries) to be one of 10 finalists for a position with the station as a “liberal” blogger. There will be two winners (a “liberal” and a “conservative”) chosen by means of internet votes received. This is our chance to get even with the Palinbots for what they did for Bristol Palin on “Dancing With The Stars”. Like Bristol, I lack talent but with all of you voting for me, I may be able to pull-off an upset win. I offer my eternal gratitude if you loyal Rocketeers will visit the WRKO website (Here) and vote for wait…wait…here comes the spoiler…”Kevin McCarthy”. Looks like I’ve now been officially outed. Please vote early and often as the contest ends on Saturday, December 11th at 11:59pm EST. I would truly appreciate your help and if you really want to be of assistance, please encourage your family and friends to vote also, too!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Strangers In The Night song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDA33hGFNgQ&feature=related

STRANGE ONES ON THE RIGHT

(sung to the Frank Sinatra song “Strangers In The Night”)

Strange ones on the right,
Fox News romancers
Not so very bright,
With our finances
This Tea Party love
Should be viewed as taboo

Palin shouting lies
And fear inciting
Rand Paul is hostile
And so damn frightening
Boehner has no heart
McConnell has no clue

Strange ones on the right,
Abnormal people
They are strange ones on the right
Not one sane moment
They should be in a freak-show
Little do they know
It would just enhance our day
If like Bristol they’d dance away and –

On Fox every night,
They’re all together
Lovers on the right
In love forever
It’s an ugly sight
Those strange ones on the right

(witchcraft break)

Don’t look now just glance away
Here comes their jailbird Tom Delay

You can join their fight
And hang together
Only if you’re white
Birds of a feather
Taking their last flight
Those strange ones on the right

Palin’s Positively Putrid Political Pals

 

I Want You...To Join My Lunatic Fringe!

 

One always has to wonder about the wisdom (if any) of Sarah Palin. You will remember that the laughingly under-educated former half-term ex-quitting of Governor of Alaska was incapable of naming any newspapers or magazines that she currently reads; did not know what the “Bush Doctrine” was; did not know that South Africa was a country and thought that the bank bailout was “to help those that are concerned about health care reform”. She could not name a single Supreme Court case other than Roe v. Wade. She also invented “death panels” which were deemed the “biggest lie of 2009” and believed that Vladimir Putin spent all his free time “rearing his head” in the “airspace of Alaska”. In simple terms, Sarah Palin has proven to be a moron.

Perhaps in an effort to redeem her public image, Sarah Palin has shied away from any substantive discussion of domestic or foreign  policy during the last year or so. Instead of potentially embarrassing herself yet again by revealing a true lack of knowledge, she has elected to spend her time endorsing Teapublican candidates for office. Her plan has failed. The radically nutty right-wing conservatives upon whom Palin has bestowed her blessing are as crazy or crazier than “Mama Grizzly”. Consider these examples.

Clint Didier: Teapublican candidate for a Washington U.S. Senate seat. Didier ran on a platform of opposing what he called “government handouts”. Apparently however he did not oppose government handouts to himself, as he received farm subsidies, for wheat and corn, [that] amounted to $103,888. Didier was defeated in the Republican primary election.

Nikki Haley: Haley is the Teapublican nominee in the South Carolina gubernatorial election. The State newspaper has raised questions about unethical behavior that led Haley to obtain an unwarranted $100,000 fundraising job and a further $42,000 from a state contractor while she was a state legislator. Before obtaining this income under questionable circumstances Haley’s personal financial situation was collapsing, with half of her family’s income paying off interest on her mortgage. After these revelations her poll numbers have decreased dramatically in recent polling. Much like the most recent Republican Governor of South Carolina, Mark Sanford, it has been alleged that Haley has had at least two extramarital affairs.

Carly Fiorina: Fiorina is the Republican nominee for a California U.S. Senate seat. She was formerly the disgraced CEO of Hewlett-Packard Company. She was forced to resign from the company after nearly driving it into the ground in 2005. In April 2009, the business magazine web site Condé Nast Portfolio listed Fiorina as one of “The 20 Worst American CEOs of All Time”. Fiorina is hoping to garner a lot of votes this November but The Los Angeles Times research of public records indicated Fiorina had failed to vote in most every election that she has been eligible to cast a vote. This week Fiorina publicly stated that she believes that Sarah Palin is qualified to be President of the United States. ‘Nuff said.

Sharron Angle: Angle is the 2010 Teapublican nominee for the U.S. Senate seat in Nevada currently held by Democrat Harry Reid. She wants to ban all abortions even in the case of rape, wants to privatize the Veterans’ Administration, wants to abolish the Social Security and Medicare programs, wants to outlaw the sale and consumption of alcohol and remove the fluoride from our water supply. Angle also says that if candidates like her are not elected this fall, the masses should resort to their “2nd Amendment remedies” (she advocates assassinations of public officials?). Last week Angle declared that Dearborn, Michigan and the non-existent town of Frankford, Texas are governed by Sharia law. Crazy enough for you? Oh, and she has another thing in common with Sarah Palin, pulling “n0 shows” at events in which she is scheduled to speak. The most recent example of this was just yesterday when Angle failed to appear at a health care conference in Las Vegas. Angle’s no-show status is noteworthy because the candidate keeps such a low profile on the trail. Press shy Angle has unabashedly rejected the tradition of submitting to a public vetting by the press corps – or rather, the non-partisan press. She regularly grants interviews to Fox News and conservative radio. When she spoke at a reception with conservative radio host Heidi Harris last weekend, it was supposed to be open to the press, but when local television stations showed up they were told they couldn’t cover it. Sharron Angle truly is a psycho-chicken.

Joe Miller: Miller is the Teapublican candidate for one of Alaska’s U.S. Senate seats. He believes that unemployment benefits are unconstitutional. He has not however, stated whether his wife is unconstitutional inasmuch as it was revealed last week that she actually accepted unemployment benefits after having worked as her husband’s clerk in 2002 when he was a federal magistrate. Miller is an another example of  “do as I say, not as I do”.

Rand Paul: Rand Paul is the Teapublican nominee for a Kentucky U.S. Senate seat. Paul believes that private business should once again be allowed to racially  discriminate in places of public accomodation such as lunch counters and hotels, and he wants so called “anchor babies” (children born in the US with parents not legally in the country) to be stripped of their US citizenship and deported. Paul has also said that Medicaid is a form of “intergenerational warfare”. What he has not admitted to however is that 50% of his medical practice’s income is in the form of Medicare and Medicaid payments.

Christine O’Donnell: We have saved the best (or worst, depending on how you look at it) for last. Oh, where to begin? O’Donnell of course, is the Teapublican candidate for Vice President Joe Biden’s former Delaware U.S. Senate seat. Well, first we learned of her call for a masturbation ban. Next, we learned that her campaign alleged that her Republican primary opponent, Mike Castle was gay. Then we learned that she had a college degree before she did not have a college degree before she finally received her college degree three weeks ago. That was followed by the revelation that she has been in debt for most of her adult life, failed to pay taxes and paid her personal expenses with campaign funds while she failed to pay wages to her campaign employees. All of that was followed by Bill Maher’s delicious video clips which show O’Donnell admitting that she “dabbled in witch-craft”, stating that she had a “date on a satanic alter”, proclaiming that “evolution is a myth” and most recently stating that she would have been a Hare Krishna but for the fact that she is “Italian and I love meatballs.” O’Donnell then claimed to have been privy to classified information that the Chinese plan to take-over America. Then, just yesterday while appearing as a guest with Greta Van Susteren on the Fox network, O’Donnell said, “Well, I hate to say it… I’ve stopped watching the news. I’ve stopped reading the news clips.” If that isn’t mimicking Sarah Palin to the tenth degree, then what is?

When one considers the craziness of these endorsements, it can only be assumed that Sarah Palin’s master plan is to make herself appear to be relatively mainstream by means of propelling these absolutely radical nutjobs into the public arena. Or, maybe Sarah Palin really believes in these candidates, and if that is the case, she is a confirmed lunatic.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Strangers In The Night song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDA33hGFNgQ&feature=related

STRANGE ONES ON THE RIGHT

(sung to the Frank Sinatra song “Strangers In The Night”)

Strange ones on the right,
What are their chances?
Not so very bright,
With our finances
This Tea Party love
Should be viewed as taboo

Palin shouting lies
And fear inciting
Rand Paul is hostile
And so damn frightening
Angle has no heart
O’Donnell has no clue

Strange ones on the right,
Abnormal people
They are strange ones on the right
Not one sane moment
They should be in a freak-show
Little do they know
It would just enhance our day
If like Bristol they’d dance away and –

On Fox every night,
They’re all together
Lovers on the right
In love forever
It’s an ugly sight
Those strange ones on the right

(witchcraft break)

Don’t look now just glance away
Here comes their idol Tom Delay

You can join their fight
And hang together
Only if you’re white
Birds of a feather
Taking their last flight
Those strange ones on the right

Christine O’Donnell: The Contrarian Delawarean

 

My candidacy is a laugh riot!

 

Remember a few weeks ago when Christine “Witchy Woman” O’Donnell, the Tea Party/Republican candidate for Joe Biden’s former Delaware Senate seat said that she would no longer provide interviews to national media sources? Her exact words were, “I’m not going to do any more national media because that – this is my focus. Delaware is my focus and the local media is my focus.” Well, a funny thing happened on the way to the polygraph test. O’Donnell has broken her vow.

The non-masturbating evolution-denier appeared for a taped interview on CNN‘s “The Situation Room” last Thursday. In a wide-ranging interview on a series of national issues, O’Donnell promised to vote to make the Bush tax cuts permanent. She also double-dared the President to veto any bill that would repeal health care reform. “If Barack Obama vetoes that the year before his reelection he’s setting himself up to be very vulnerable and I’ve seen many Hillary for President ads running,” O’Donnell said. Asked whether she believes human activity contributes to climate change, O’Donnell responded: “I don’t have an opinion on that.”

She also said that she is not planning to go on Bill Maher’s “Real Time” program between now and Election Day. To O’Donnell her past statements to Maher are not at stake in this closely watched race. “What I said or did on a comedy show, you know, over a decade ago is not relevant in this election,” O’Donnell said.

Well, the Delaware voters will be the judge of that.

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody. Please enjoy.

Oh, Carol song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HL8z9gwE1Ko&feature=related

O’DONNELL

(sung to the Rolling Stones song “Oh, Carol”)

O’Donnell
We wonder what Bill Maher will say
He loves to air your rants
On his show each and every day

His video machine has the proof no doubt
It shows you ranting like a fool while you just jump and shout
We’re lookin’ at you sideways as you scheme and lie
Now that asylum door is open, you can go inside
Your tall and pointy witch’s hat makes you look so glam
You have the personality of a store bought canned ham

O’Donnell
We love the crazy things you say
And your satanic rants
Will haunt you on election day

(Chinese classified information viewing break)

We all watch “Real Time” to hear what you’ve been sayin’
There is no evolution and no masturbatin’
Sarah Palin is your mentor but can she be proud
Of endorsing a lunatic that is dumb and loud?
You have no chance, you know that’s understood
Voters despise you, baby, cuz you are no good

O’Donnell
Get right down on your knees and pray
Cuz you don’t stand a chance
Of winning on election day

O’Donnell
We wonder what Bill Maher will say
He loves to air your rants
On his show each and every day

Where, Oh Where Has Christine O’Donnell Gone?

Remember a few weeks ago when Christine O’Donnell the Tea Party/Republican nominee seeking Joe Biden’s former Delaware Senate seat announced that she would no longer speak to the national media and would only communicate with local Delaware-based media outlets for the duration of her campaign?

We could all understood her strategy at the time because she had recently been pummeled by a host of embarrassing revelations about both her personal and political past that had been uncovered by the national press.

First we learned of her call for a masturbation ban. Next, we learned that her campaign alleged that her Republican primary opponent, Mike Castle was gay. Then we learned that she had a college degree before she did not have a college degree before she finally received her college degree three weeks ago. That was followed by the revelation that she has been in debt for most of her adult life, failed to pay taxes and paid her personal expenses with campaign funds while she failed to pay wages to her campaign employees. All of that was followed by Bill Maher’s delicious video clips which show O’Donnell admitting that she “dabbled in witch-craft”, stating that she had a “date on a satanic alter”, proclaiming that “evolution is a myth” and most recently stating that she would have been a Hare Krishna but for the fact that she is “Italian and I love meatballs.” (Maher, by the way, claims that he will continue to release more embarrassing video clips each week leading up to the election).

Then, last week O’Donnell joined “the Twitter” and immediately emulated her mentor Sarah Palin by authoring an absolutely indecipherable tweet having something to do with “GOP porkers.” And that was followed by a new quote of her’s that also caused her campaign some non-meatball induced heartburn. CNN reported that according to the Associated Press, the unlikely Delaware GOP Senate nominee said in 2006 that she was “privy to” classified information that China was engaged in a “carefully thought out and strategic plan to take over America.” Of course, her ever-secretive campaign has refused to respond to questions as to just what type of “classified information” O’Donnell claims to have been “privy to” or why she had access to classified information in the first place.

As the result of all of this prying into her past by the well funded and research-capable national media, it is no wonder that O’Donnell has elected to only confer with the less well funded and presumably less research-capable local Delaware media outlets. That being said however, where in the wide, wide world of witchcraft has O’Donnell been since her announcement? We have not heard a peep from her other than her hilarious television advertisement in which she says, “I am not a witch”. Where are the reports from the local media?

Well, that is precisely what the good folks at CNN have been wondering. Political producer Shannon Travis reports:

Some local reporters that I’ve spoke to here in Delaware claim that the Republican Senate nominee has largely avoided the local media. O’Donnell has publicly stated she would avoid contact with the national press.

So we set out to find the candidate. Or, at least, information on her public campaign schedule.


My producer, cameraman and I drove to Delaware. This after sending numerous e-mails to campaign staffers and calling them repeatedly over the past eight days – each time getting scant response.

We arrived at O’Donnell’s new campaign headquarters in Wilmington, greeted by an empty receptionist’s chair. In the corner of the small room was a locked door, with sounds of voices heard on the other side.

We knocked until someone answered.

Two men emerged and asked for our credentials, but refused to identify themselves – at least initially. They later told us their names: Campaign Manager Matt Moran and Chris Merola.

They explained that O’Donnell is standing by her pledge to avoid the national press. But both men were emphatic that O’Donnell is not avoiding local media. They rattled off a list of local reporters and news outlets the candidate has spoken to since winning the Republican Senate primary three weeks ago.

Both men explained how the campaign is ramping up a staff that was small for the primary but needs to be much larger for the general election.

As for their initial suspicions about who we were, they explained that not everyone in the press is appropriately neutral -so they’re often leery of reporters.

Thanks CNN, for solving that mystery. Now the good people of Delaware can get back to the good work of electing Democrat Chris Coons to that Senate seat.

By the way, the two most recent polls show that Coons has a double digit lead over O’Donnell. A Fairleigh Dickinson University PublicMind survey released yesterday indicates that 53% of likely voters in Delaware are supporting Coons, with 36% backing O’Donnell (it is interesting to note that Fairleigh Dickinson is O’Donnell’s alma mater, so let’s see if she criticizes the poll). Additionally, a University of Delaware Center for Political Communication survey also released yesterday, shows that 49% of Delaware registered voters support Coons with 30% backing O’Donnell.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Sympathy For The Devil song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Je8MXiwmNIk

SYMPATHY FOR O’DONNELL

(sung to the Rolling Stones song “Sympathy For The Devil”)

Please allow me to introduce myself
I’m in the Delaware race
I’ve been around for a couple of years
And I never masturbate

Yes, I believe that Jesus Christ
Has spoken through my campaign
He’ll keep Bill Maher quiet
Seal his mouth as I spread hate

Pleased to meet you
Can you guess my name
But what’s puzzling you
Is my obsession with fame

Do you dare to trust my word
After I robbed my donors of their change
Paid my rent and then I secured
New furniture and a gas-fired range

The sulfur stank
Like a septic tank
On my witchcraft stage
Oh so dark and dank

Pleased to meet you
Can you guess my name, oh yeah
But what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah

That Sarah P.
Is my Tea-Bag Queen
I drank the Kool-Aid
That she proudly made

I shouted out
“Let’s kill Ted Kennedy”
Cuz his Health Plan’s
Killing you and me

Let me please introduce myself
I am Delaware’s disgrace
And a Tea Party troubadour
Singing lies every day of this race

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
Now what’s troubling you
Is the nature of my fame, oh yeah, get down, baby

(evolution denial break)

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
Now what’s confusing you
Is just the nature of my game, um yeah

Just as Medicare is criminal
Republicans are saints
Dumb as Dan Quayle
Just call me O’Donnell
Watch as I apply my war-paint

Coons will defeat me
He’ll refer to me
As the mental-case in this race
Use all his well-learned politics
As he lays my soul to waste, um yeah

Pleased to meet you
O’Donnell is my name, um yeah
Now what’s troubling you
Is the nature of my fame, um baby, get down

Woo, who
Oh yeah, get on down
Oh yeah

Oh yeah!

Chris O’Donnell, that’s my name
Tell me honey, don’t ya love my name
Chris O’Donnell, that’s my name
If I lose this race, you’re to blame

Ooo, who
Ooo, who
Ooo, who

Alright
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Oh, yeah

What’s my name
Chris O’Donnell, that’s my name
Tell me, sweetie, what’s my name

Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Oh, yeah

Christine O’Donnell: Oops, She Did It Again!

What would we do these days without Christine O’Donnell? Inasmuch as our usual target of ridicule, Sarah Palin, has been keeping a low profile by means of only communicating with reality via Facebook and Twitter, O’Donnell has had to fill the void. And, boy oh boy, has she ever stepped up to the plate and whacked a few out of the park!

Every day now, O’Donnell gives us another glimpse into her twisted mind and lifestyle. First we had her call for a masturbation ban. Next, her campaign alleged that her Republican primary opponent, Mike Castle was gay. Then we learned that she had a college degree before she did not have a college degree before she finally received her college degree three weeks ago. That was followed by the revelation that she has been in debt for most of her adult life, failed to pay taxes and paid her personal expenses with campaign funds while she failed to pay wages to her campaign employees. All of that was followed by Bill Maher’s delicious video clips which show O’Donnell admitting that she “dabbled in witch-craft”, proclaiming that “evolution is a myth” and most recently stating that she would have been a Hare Krishna but for the fact that she is “Italian and I love meatballs.”. Best of all, Mahar claims that he will continue to release more embarrassing video clips each week leading up to the election.

But wait. That is not all. Last week O’Donnell joined “the Twitter” and immediately emulated her mentor Palin by authoring an absolutely indecipherable tweet having something to do with “GOP porkers.” And now we have a new quote from her that is sure to cause her campaign some non-meatball induced heartburn. CNN reports that according to the Associated Press, the unlikely Delaware GOP Senate nominee said in 2006 that she was privy to classified information that China was engaged in a “carefully thought out and strategic plan to take over America.”

“There’s much I want to say. I wish I wasn’t privy to some of the classified information that I am privy to,” O’Donnell said during a Republican primary debate in 2006. She went on to say, “We have to look at our history and realize that if they pretend to be our friend it’s because they’ve got something up their sleeve.” As expected, her ever-secretive campaign has refused to respond to questions as to just what type of “classified information” O’Donnell claims to have been “privy to” or why she had access to classified information in the first place.

It is now a confirmed fact that Christine O’Donnell carries more baggage than a Greyhound Bus. Inasmuch as recent polls show she trails Democrat Chris Coons by double digits, it is time to stick a fork in O’Donnell because she is done.

Witchy Woman song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1d8hZtvRPno

WITCHY WOMAN (O’DONNELL VERSION)

(sung to the Eagles song “Witchy Woman”)

Crazy stare on Bill Maher’s clips
She is one of Palin’s dips
O’Donnell is our delight
She’s a crazy Tea-Bagger that’s not too bright
Wooo Hooo witchy woman,
She is full of lies
Wooo Hooo witchy woman,
She’s got pagan witchcraft ties

I watched Bill Maher the other night
O’Donnell was so uptight
She said Charles Darwin was out of tune,
And his evolution theory was so untrue
Wooo Hooo witchy woman,
She is full of lies
Wooo Hooo witchy woman,
She’s got pagan witchcraft ties

(masturbation break with oohs and ahhhs)

She can’t seem to keep a lover,
Let me tell ya brother, she’s been sleeping in the Devil’s bed.
And there’s some rumors going round,
Polls are headed down
November will be the right time
To strike this witch dead

Wooo Hooo witchy woman,
She is full of lies
Wooo Hooo witchy woman,
She’s got pagan witchcraft ties

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 54

Just a few newsworthy events (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Do As I Say, Not As I Do” features California’s Republican gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman. It has been revealed that the “get tough on illegal immigration” candidate employed an undocumented illegal housekeeper for some nine years. The worker has also claimed that Whitman treated her poorly much of that time. it will be fun to see Whitman try to dig herself out of this one.

THIS JUST IN: Garrison Keillor says Republican Congresswoman Michele Bachmann, “embarrassing to me and a great many Minnesotans”. Good for you and all the citizens of Lake Wobegon, Mr. Keillor.

BREAKING NEWS: Republican Senate candidate and World Wrestling Entertainment CEO Linda McMahon (CT) this week stated that she believes Congress should consider lowering the minimum wage. When questioned by reporters as to what her state’s minimum wage is however, she was forced to admit that she did not know the answer. She then said that she “was just not going to comment any more on the subject. McMahon is just another example of an angry but uninformed Republican.

THIS JUST IN: As for Republican/Tea Party Delaware Senate candidate Christine O’Donnell, the OstroyReport says, “She’s scarcer than an Osama bin Laden video. Harder to find than Waldo. The burning question in Delaware these days is, “Where’s Christine?” As the NY Times reported Thursday, the state’s cracked-Tea-Pot Senate candidate, Christine O’Donnell, is apparently in hiding. And why not? She’s terrified of opening her mouth in public. I guess those grass roots have rotted.” “Nuff said.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Republicans Hurting the Country” features, you guessed it, the US Senate Republicans. On Sept. 30, the TANF Emergency Contingency Fund (TEF) — considered one of the most successful stimulus programs, having created 250,000 jobs for previously unemployed workers — expires. The Obama administration and Democrats had requested $1.5 to $2.5 billion to keep it going for another year. The House has passed two extenders, but yesterday, legislation failed again in the Senate because of Republican opposition. That means employers are now faced with laying off the TEF workers, as many as 100,000 into an economy that already has 14.9 million unemployed.

THIS JUST IN: Never mind that Republican New York gubernatorial candidate Carl Paladino has a taste for racist emails, a desire to put welfare recipients into prison dorms and teach them “personal hygiene… the personal things they don’t get when they come from dysfunctional homes.” Just last week he threatened to “take out” a New York Post reporter. Does that sound like a criminal threat to anybody else?

BREAKING NEWS: Cable news ratings for the third quarter reveal that FOX NEWS’ ratings have fallen 21% in total viewers – and 26% for younger viewers. To add insult to injury, MSNBC‘s audience is growing. Does this mean that Americans are waking up?

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Whatever Happened To … ?” features Ann “The Man” Coulter and Michelle “Anchor Baby” Malkin. Has anybody seen or heard from the Coulter guy or Malkin in the last number of Months? Is it time to put their pictures on a milk carton?

BREAKING NEWS: Bill Mahar did us a solid on Friday night when he released his newest embarrassing clip of Republican/Tea Partier, Christine O’Donnell. In this clip O’Donnell is revealed as being amenable to any religion which includes her eating habits. The clip shows her admitting, “I would have become a Hare Krishna, but I didn’t want to become a vegetarian. And that is honestly the reason why, because I’m Italian and I love meatballs.” So, forget spirituality, it is the menu that is important when it comes to worship in the mind of Christine. Also, just wondering, but isn’t O’Donnell an awfully Irish sounding Italian name?

Well, until next week…

GO PACKERS!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Fox On The Run song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MDCbIhTa_w

FOX ON THE RUN

(sung to the Sweet song “Fox On The Run”)

Why is that network insane
No one there has a brain
So easy to abhor
Each day they add a new pretty face
But they’re losing in the gene pool race
They speak like sidewalk whores

Fox on the run
They scream and everybody starts a-running
Beck, Britt Hume and big Bill O’Reilly
Fox is on the run
F-foxy, Fox is on the run. They’ll fade away.

Koo-Koo, that is the Fox network brand
As “fair and balanced” as DisneyLand
So easy to ignore
News, that is so God damned lame
Should hide their heads in shame
And show their hosts the door

Fox on the run
They scream and everybody starts a-running
Beck, Britt Hume and big Bill O’Reilly
Fox is on the run
F-foxy, Fox is on the run. They’ll fade away.

(musical interlude)

F-foxy, Fox is on the run
They scream and think that we’re having fun
Take a run and hide yourself away
Fox is on the run
F-foxy, Fox is on the run. They’ll fade away.

O’Donnell Hostage Crisis (Day 8): The Body Count Mounts

I'll get you, Bill Mahar!

Just one week ago, you may remember, that Bill Mahar, on his HBO program, “Real Time With Bill Mahar”, aired the now famous video clip of Republican Senatorial candidate Christine O’Donnell admitting that she dabbled in witchcraft and had a date on a Satanic alter. Not only was the clip terribly damaging to the O’Donnell campaign, but Mahar upped the ante by threatening O’Donnell that he has even more embarrassing tapes which he will slowly air prior to election day unless she agrees to appear on his program. “It’s like a hostage crisis,” Maher warned O’Donnell on Saturday night. “Every week you don’t come on this show, I’m going to throw a new body out.”

True to his word, Bill Mahar did just that last Friday night. This clip shows the Sarah Palin and Tea-Party endorsed O’Donnell vehemently asserting that “evolution is a myth”. It is hysterical to look at the faces of Mahar and the other guests as the crazy evangelical O’Donnell makes her pronouncement. It gets even better when Mahar asks her “Have you ever looked at a monkey?’ and O’Donnell replies, “Well then…why aren’t monkeys still evolving into humans?” The comedy is than amped-up when one of the other guests informs O’Donnell that “It (i.e. evolution) takes a long time”. But as we always say, a picture is worth a thousand words, so let’s go to the tape..

Yikes! These tapes are certainly much more than most intellectually-challenged, gay-baiting, devil-worshipping, tax-evading, donation-abusing, evolution-denying non-masturbators could handle. And, they appear to be working. According to a CNN/Time/Opinion Research Corporation poll released Wednesday, Democratic Senate nominee Chris Coons holds a 16 percentage point lead over O’Donnell among likely voters, 55 percent to 39 percent. Among the wider pool of registered voters, Coons leads O’Donnell by 25 points.

But Christine O’Donnell is not your average candidate. She is, after all, a member of the Tea Party and a Sarah Palin prodigy. Consequently, by definition, she is expected to carry more baggage than an ocean liner. Luckily for us, she does, and Bill Mahar seems to have the undeniable proof. This is one hostage crisis in which the abductor is the fan favorite. Please Bill, keep those bodies coming.

Oh, and I almost forgot…

Go Packers!

Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s very topical song parody.

Alison song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYDGFZ5e6HA

O’DONNELL

(sung to the Elvis Costello song “Alison”)

Oh, it’s so funny to be seeing you on Bill Mahar’s show, girl
And by the way you look I understand that you are not impressed
But until the day that you go on “Real Time”
Your hopes are less and less.
That primary win was just accidental
O’Donnell toed the Tea Party line
But Bill Mahar promises to “throw out new bodies”
Every Friday night on prime-time.

O’Donnell, I know Bill Mahar is killing you
Oh, O’Donnell’s campaign is through

Well I see you have no husband now
Most guys don’t think it’s adulterous to simply masturbate
You’re such a cold one, they chose the hand
It makes for a better date
Sometimes I wish that I could stop you from talking
When I hear those foolish things that you say
We know Christine that you are really not too bright
You will be finished come election day.

O’Donnell, I know Bill Mahar is killing you
Oh, O’Donnell’s campaign is through
Campaign is through
Campaign is through
Campaign is through
Campaign is through
Campaign is through
Campaign is through
Campaign is through
Campaign is through
Campaign is through
Campaign is through