Monthly Archives: June 2012

Mitt(wit) Romney vs. GOP Governors vs. Mitt(wit) Romney

Cartoon by Robert Arlail

The 2012 Republican Circular Firing Squad has been convened. All present say, “Aye”!

Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney and Republican Governors seeking re-election this fall have a dilemma to overcome. Romney of course, is making the economy the number one issue in his campaign against incumbent President Barack Obama. In short, his argument  to the American people (misinformed as it may be) is: “The economy is getting worse. You are suffering. It is Obama’s fault.” Romney feels that if the American electorate buys into that perception, then he will be elected as the economy’s savior. To convince voters that what he says is true, Romney must point out how each state is failing economically.

Problem is, that sort of argument directly attacks Republican Governors seeking re-election. Those Governors must convince the same state voters that they are doing well ,or at least much better than in other states . These GOP Governors must downplay high unemployment numbers in some places while celebrating low (relative to the national average) unemployment numbers as the result of economic progress in their home states. Hence, Republican Governors must proclaim that Mitt Romney is wrong.

Take a look at the State of Ohio as an example. reports:

During a speech in Ohio today, 2012 GOP presidential nominee Mitt Romney decried the economy, claiming, ‘almost everything the president has done has made it harder for entrepreneurs to start a business, has made it less likely for businesses like this [one in Ohio] to hire more people.’ However, led by the revival of the American auto industry, Ohio’s unemployment rate has been coming down, from about 11 percent in 2009 to just above 7 percent today.”

Of course, the aforementioned revival of the auto industry is a direct result of President Obama’s auto manufacturer bailout which Romney opposed. Also, Romney’s statement puts Ohio Governor John Kasich in an unenviable position. Kasich wants to support Romney and his Republican Party in the Presidential election, but he also wants to capitalize on the relatively recent and optimistic prospects of Ohio’s economy. Consequently, while Romney comes to Ohio and says businesses in the state cannot hire people for new jobs because of Obama’s policies, Kasich is simultaneously touting the fact that since 2010, Ohio went from being the third-worst job creator to one of the top job creators in the nation. In fact, 850,000 auto manufacturing jobs have been added to Ohio’s economy since the auto bailout in 2009. In his 2012 State of the state Address, Kasich said,

“A year ago, Ohio ranked 48 in job creation. We trailed only Michigan and California. Michigan, who has the automotive industry, and California is filled with a bunch of whack-a-doodles. Who would have thought we would have been third worst? Ohio is now ranked No. 1 as job creator in the Midwest and No. 9 in the nation.”

Iowa is another state where Mitt Romney and the Governor are at odds. The Wall Street Journal reports, “When Mr. Romney traveled to Iowa last month, his campaign released a Web ad highlighting Iowans who were struggling to find work—in a state with a 5.1% jobless rate, the seventh lowest in the U.S.”

Iowa’s Republican Governor, Terry Branstad, was not impressed with Romney’s characterization of his state. The Wall Street Journal article says, “Branstad, is part of a contingent of GOP governors and party elders urging Mr. Romney to re-tailor his message by highlighting the success stories under way in a half-dozen GOP-led states, even if it means diluting his gloomier national pitch.” Branstad said, “My state is seeing significant growth. We are doing very well.”

Florida’s Republican Governor (and Vote Purger in Chief) Rick Scott echoes Branstad’s and Kasich’s sentiments. reported in May 2012 that Scott has said, ” Today’s unemployment report adds to the series of encouraging indicators that Florida’s economy is steadily moving in the right direction. With 243,594 job openings listed by various help-wanted websites and our unemployment rate down 2.2 points to 8.7%, more Floridians are finding new jobs throughout the Sunshine State.”

Virginia’s Republican Governor, Bob McDonnell, has not only extolled his states positive economic conditions, but he has also even given some credit to Democrats. Indeed, McDonnell’s own website says,

“Virginia’s unemployment rate has plunged 23% since January 2010, down to 5.6% in March 2012, and the private sector job-creators are driving that success. Virginia is growing strong again. Through a bipartisan effort in Richmond, and the hard-work, innovation and dedication of the people of Virginia, our economy is recovering. There is a lot to celebrate in our Commonwealth. With unemployment at over a 3-year low, agricultural exports at a record high, and thousands of Virginians working again, this is a great time to recognize all the great things happening in our tremendous Commonwealth. Virginians have written an incredible story; this ad tells it. Together, we are growing strong again.”

All in all, this cross-messaging by Mitt Romney (as well as his flip-flops) and a slew of Republican Governors may complicate matters for all of them as the November elections approach.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Beverly Hillbillies Theme song link:


(sung to the theme of “The Beverly Hillbillies”)

Come and listen to a story ‘bout a man named Mitt
A rich profiteer who’s been known to pitch a fit.
Unlike Scott Brown he won’t model in the nude,
He likes to run for office but he doesn’t have a clue.

Knowledge that is,   Hates Polls,    Sanity.

Well the one thing we know is Mitt’s a millionaire,
Pinstriped suits and plastic molded hair.
Inside the beltway is the place he wants to be,
So he strapped his dog on top and drove down to D.C.

Washington that is,   Lobbyists,    Big black cars.

(flip-flop break)

Well now its time to say good-bye to Mitt and all his friends,
He will lose this year’s election and that will be his end
He never will return again cuz of the Tea Party,
They much prefer Santorum and his beastiality.

Man on dog, that is,   Ring a bell?,    Take your pants off.

Don’t come back now, y’hear?


Childish Michelle Malkin Has A Meltdown

Why does Fox News consistently avoid utilizing mature adults as guests on its programs? It is understood that the number of legitimate and serious conservative pundits is extremely limited, but Fox News seems to revel in giving airtime to child-like whiners. Consider the number of times that Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly have hosted the likes of Sarah Palin, Ann Coulter and Donald Trump rather than George F. Will or Peggy Noonan.

Wednesday night was a perfect example of Fox‘s studio serving as a psuedo-televised day-care for what appeared to be an over-tired and cranky guest. This time the bratty baby du jour was conservative blogger Michelle Malkin. She and Juan Williams were guests on the Hannity program and the topic was the alleged leaking of information from the Obama administration regarding proposed cyber attacks on Iran’s nuclear facilities.

Setting aside the actual content of the subject and debate between Williams and Malkin (and her cheerleader Sean Hannity), it was entertaining (and disturbing) to witness the histrionics of Michelle Malkin. She was so overly concerned with attacking her debate opponent that she resorted to making faces, eye-rolling, sneering and huffing. Most entertaining was her kindergarten-like schoolyard repetitive mocking of Williams when she exclaimed, “All you can do, Juan, is say, ‘Plame, Plame, Plame’ and ‘blame, blame, blame, Bush, Bush, Bush!” She also went on a childish name-calling tantrum when she said, “The American people are sick of the kind of snotty condescension from liberal elite journalists like Juan Williams.” But as they say, “a video is worth a thousand words”, so let’s enjoy the show:

It is people like Michelle Malkin that make blogging so fun for so many of us.

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along to today’s song parody.

The Monster Mash song link:


(sung to the Bobby “Boris” Pickett song “Monster Mash”)

She was mouthing off with gab late one night
Malkin’s strange visage, an eerie sight
My blood pressure and pulse both began to rise
What’s up with that weird lazy eye?

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

She was ruminating on Obama’s speech
When her logic and her brains went to the beach
We knew she was lying by her growing nose
Inside her skull, a mighty wind blows

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

Dear Malkin was having fun
Her air-time had just begun
It was quite apparent that
Michelle had come undone

The show was rockin’ with her babbling sounds
Michelle spewing sentences without nouns
There were blood-shot lines in her crazy ass eyes
One thing missing was the strait-jacket guys

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

Out from the closet came the Coulter thing
He was wearing his decoder ring
Waving it round because he was pissed
Have you ever seen so much hair on anybody’s fist?

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

Now everything’s cool, Coulter hid his big hand
And Malkin’s diatribe was critically panned
It was one giant laugh if it was viewed
Next time we see that jerk, she is sure to be booed.

She’s talkin’ trash
She did the Malkin mash
The Malkin mash
I think she has a rash
She does the mash
She must be smokin’ hash
She does the mash
She did the Malkin mash

Scott Brown Is Afraid To Admit He Is A Republican

ABC News points out a curious fact:

“If you watch or listen to an ad for Senator Scott Brown in Massachusetts, chances are you’ll hear at least one of the following terms; bipartisanship, compromise, Red Sox.

One term you might not hear: Republican.

That’s because for Brown, the Republican incumbent in the closely watched Massachusetts Senate race, his party identity could put him at an inherent disadvantage in the solidly blue Bay State.

As of February 2012, the voter enrollment figures from the Massachusetts Secretary of State showed that out of the total 4-million-plus registered voters, just 466,431 were registered Republicans — about 11 percent. Registered Democrats outnumber them by three to one — 1,475,879 are listed by the secretary’s office, an inherent advantage for Democratic challenger Elizabeth Warren.”

Truth be told, it is a bit strange that the clothing-challenged Brown mentions the Boston Red Sox either. After all, when Brown was a state representative, he not only pushed to remove the team from the beloved  historical Fenway Park, but he also proposed moving the team completely out of Boston to land in Foxborough, MA which happens to be owned by one of his supporters. The Boston Globe writes,

“As a state legislator, he pressed to have the Sox move to Foxborough, the town adjacent to his own town of Wrentham. In a letter dated January, 2001, Brown asked Patriots owner Robert Kraft to consider using property around his football stadium to build a new ballpark.”

But we digress.

Scott Brown’s attempts to fool Massachusetts voters into believing that he is not a Big Bank-loving Republican will prove to be difficult. After all, the nudist was named as one of “Wall Streets’ Favorite Congressmen” by the ultra-conservative Forbes magazine. Also, 11 of Browns top 20 campaign donors are Wall Street banks and private equity firms (in contrast, his opponent Elizabeth Warren has no Wall Street entities as her top donors). Furthermore, Brown watered down the new Dodd-Frank Financial Regulation Law in such a way that it was unable to prevent the risky trading which nearly caused collapse of Goldman Sachs a few months ago and which could have plunged our nation’s economy back into recession.

Brown’s reluctance to admit that he is a Republican is understandable of course. After all, the GOP has been waging a War on Women’s Rights, trying to maintain tax advantages for the wealthy which hurt the working/middle class, injecting religion into nearly every governmental function and trying to fire policemen, firemen and teachers en masse. Wouldn’t it just be easier for Scott Brown to mimic Arlen Specter and just switch parties?

Come on over Scott, the Democratic Party is housed in a very large tent!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Please enjoy!


(sung to the Beatles song “I’m Down”)

Scott’s tellin’ lies thinking I can’t see
That nude guy is so blind he can’t see
I’m down (I’m really down)
I’m down (Down on Scott Brown)
I’m down (I’m really down)
Watch as I laugh at that nude Scott Brown
(Watch as I laugh) When we vote him down

We’ll all sing when he’s voted away
Brown’s short fling will be over in days
I’m down (I’m really down)
I’m down (Down on Scott Brown)
I’m down (I’m really down)
Watch as I laugh at that nude Scott Brown
(Watch as I laugh) When we vote him down

Once he’s dethroned, he’ll be all by himself
Scott will moan: “They wanted someone else!”
I’m down (I’m really down)
Let’s vote him down (Vote down Scott Brown)
Scott Brown (He’s goin’ down)
Watch as I laugh at that nude Scott Brown
(Watch as I laugh) When we vote him down

(Wow! Scott’s goin’ down!)

Whoo, baaby!

Oh Scott, you’re soon going down (He’s goin’ down)
I guess your down (He’s really down)
We’re down on Scott Brown (He’s goin’ down)
Scott! Brown! (He’s goin’ down)
Let’s hang him upside down
Oh yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, he’s down (He’s really down)
Scott baby you’re down (He’s really down)
Let’s hang him upside down (Let’s watch him frown)
Ooh, that Brown (He’s such a clown)
Scott baby you’re down, yeh
Scott baby you’re down, yeh
Scottie, you’re down (You’re really down)
Scott baby you’re down (You’re goin’ down)
Oh, Scottie, Scottie, Scottie! (You’re goin’ down)
Oh, Scottie you’re down (You’re goin’ down)
You’re down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down,  yeh, whoa!!!

Ann “The Man” Coulter Flip-Flops On Mitt “Midas” Romney

How predictable radical reich-wing conservative pundits can be. They bash a Republican candidate and then they embrace the same candidate when he is the last one standing. Case in point: Ann Coulter.

Just one year ago the uber-conservative Coulter told the CPAC crowd, “If we don’t run Chris Christie, Romney will be the nominee and we will lose.”

Coulter has now (in some sort of weird Romney-like mimic) flip-flopped. He claims that Mitt Romney has the “Midas Touch”. Yesterday while appearing as a guest on ABC’s “This Week with George Stephanopoulos”, Ann Coulter proclaimed, “Romney has had a Midas touch with everything he has done”, including his job as Governor of Massachusetts. “It is not just Bain,” he continued, “it is everything he touches.”

Watch it here:

What a monumental flip-flop. Does this Coulter guy think that we do not have videotape of his CPAC proclamation? Of course, Coulter’s praise for Romney avoided any mention of the fact that while Governor, Massachusetts ranked 47th in the nation in job creation.  He also failed to mention that while Governor, Romney vastly increased taxes on Massachusetts’ working/middle class residents by raising nearly every fee paid by citizens for government services such as drivers licenses, auto registrations, recording of deeds and 83 others. In total, Romney’s fee increases and increased taxes exceeded $ 740 million per year.

But really, what else could we expect from a guy like Ann Coulter? Let’s watch some of the insanity this fella demonstrates (some of the language is not fit for children):

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Lola song link:


(sung to the Kinks song “Lola”)

I saw her once last week on the Fox network
Where the hosts are lame and the guests are worse like Ann Coulter
She is a revolter
A big Adam’s Apple and masculine hands
She has the curves of a flagpole and a set of big huge molars
M-o-l-a molars mo-mo-mo-mo molars

It might be the world’s most unfunny joke
But if he’s a lady then my glasses are broke
That Ann Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter
Well I’m not dumb but I can’t understand
Why he walks like a woman but looks like a man
That Ann Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter

Well he sat right next to Hannity
And then was on Bill O’Reilly
They saw mascara on his eyes so blue
But I swear those guys didn’t have a damn clue
Well I don’t know if they are into men
But the next night on Fox he was on there again that Ann Coulter
Co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter
Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter

I changed the station
I then turned back to Fox
Then I was convinced she was a he

Well I don’t know what ol Rush Limbaugh thinks
But I like women, not some missing link-like Ann Coulter
Co-co-co-co Coulter’s
he says that her wisdom sells his books
It’s gotta be somethin’ cuz it ain’t his good looks that Ann Coulter
Co-co-co-co Coulter

I took a closer look at Hannity
Now I’m not really so sure that he’s not a she
But this might be the Republican way
A sex change is good cuz then you’re not gay

Well I’m not the world’s most masculine man
And I do not possess giant, hairy man-hands
Like that Mann Coulter
Co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter
Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter co-co-co-co Coulter


Will Romney “Cop” A Plea To Impersonating A Police Officer?

Let’s face it, Mitt Romney is a weird and awkward person. This child of wealth and privilege is so detached from the lifestyles of average working/middle class Americans that he appears to be some sort of strange space alien or one of those pod-hatched clones from the classic “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” film.

Remember how awkward it was when, while standing with a group of black children, he said “Who Let the Dogs Out”?

Remember the story about how he illegally strapped his pet dog in a kennel to the roof (or is it ruuf) of the family car and drove 12 hours while the terrified pooch defecated all over the vehicle? Heck, even Fox News claims he is “unfit to be President” as the result of that heartless action.

How about when he declared that “Corporations are people“?

Do you recall when he said it was humorous when his father closed a factory in Michigan? He said, ““One of most humorous I think relates to my father. You may remember my father, George Romney, was president of an automobile company called American Motors …  They had a factory in Michigan…and as the president of the company he decided to close the factory in Michigan…”

Remember when he assaulted a gay high school student and hacked off his hair?

Well, now we have another disturbingly awkward  Romney moment to comment about. reports that, “When Mitt Romney was a college freshman, he told fellow residents of his Stanford University dormitory that he sometimes disguised himself as a police officer – a crime in many states, including Michigan and California, where he then lived. And he had the uniform on display as proof.” The article goes on to say that Robin Madden, a fellow Stanford University student with Mitt Romney, recalls that Romney “called him and two or three other residents into his room, saying, ‘Come up, I want to show you something.’ and when they entered Romney’s room,  ‘laid out on his bed was a Michigan State Trooper’s uniform.’” Madden also said,

“He told us that he had gotten the uniform from his father. He told us that he was using it to pull over drivers on the road. He also had a red flashing light that he would attach to the top of his white Rambler. We thought it was all pretty weird. We all thought, ‘Wow, that’s pretty creepy.’ And after that, we didn’t have much interaction with him,”

The National Memo reports, “Romney may well have been breaking the law merely by donning a police uniform, committing a crime if he pretended to be a cop and a felony if he did so more than once. In both California and Michigan, any person convicted of fraudulently impersonating a police officer may be sentenced to up to one year in prison.”

Here is MSNBC’s Lawrence O’Donnell reporting on Mitt Romney’s  dress-up game:

As far as we know, the Romney campaign has not yet “copped” a plea to this story.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

“Highway Patrol” song link:!


 (sung to the Junior Brown song “Highway Patrol”)

Mitt’s got a star on his car and one on his chest,
He ain’t got a grip but he wants to arrest
Mitt’s mind has been lost out on this highway
So watch out what you’re doin’ when you’re drivin’ Mitt’s way
Mitt just breaks the law everywhere he goes
Dad’s the Guv’nor of the state. Mitt’s the highway patrol.

You know Romney and his daddy they’re both privileged and white,
Mitt’s siren a screamin’ with his flashin’ red light
If you’re not gay this might be your night
Mitt’s just keepin’ law and order for the radical right
If Mitt writes you out a ticket, then you better drive slow
Mitt’s just a doin’ his job, he’s the highway patrol.

Mitt’s the highway patrol, Mitt’s the highway patrol,
If your hair’s long then its gotta go.
He’ll be damn well dressed when he’s a C-E-O
But now Mitt’s doin’ his job as the highway patrol

(flip-flop break)

Romney’s drivin’ so fast like he shouldn’t do
Mitt’s dog on the roof is a startin’ to poo
He is in a race with a man who is black
Who let’s them marry if they’re gay, that’s a marriage attack
Obama and the Democrats have to go
Mitt’s just a doin’ his job, he’s the highway patrol.

Mitt’s the highway patrol, Mitt’s the highway patrol,
If your hair’s long then its gotta go.
He’ll be damn well dressed when he’s a C-E-O
But now Mitt’s doin’ his job as the highway patrol

Mitt’s just a doin’ his job
He’s the highway patrol.

A Lynnrockets Rant

It appears to me that we, as a nation, may have a problem when the current crop of college students and those in our high schools and elementary schools assume the responsibility of running things.

I understand that mine is not a novel opinion. This is not an original theory which is being voiced for the first time. I am approaching 50 years of age and I distinctly remember many in my parents’ and grandparents’ generation bemoaning this same potential problem. The difference however, is the likelihood of such a worry actually coming to fruition. I believe that, unlike that of our forebears, my concern is both grounded in fact and by statistics.

As most of you know, I live in Boston, Massachusetts. This city has long been known as the Mecca of Education in the United States. The state boasts the best public and private elementary and secondary schools in the nation. There are over 120 colleges and universities in metropolitan Boston alone, including such diamonds as Harvard University, The Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), Tufts University and Berklee College of Music. Fortune magazine has deemed Massachusetts to be “America’s Smartest State” with 16% of its population having advanced degrees and 61.8% having a college education. Also, the Science and Engineering Readiness Index (SERI) proclaimed Massachusetts as having the best primary education system in the nation (Math and Science) based on publicly available data, including Advanced Placement scores, National Assessment of Educational Progress reports, teacher certification requirements by state and physics class enrollment data.

Despite the educational acumen of my home state however, I have been witnessing a disturbing trend in the last number of years. Parents seem to be too involved in their children’s lives for far too long. I must admit that I have no children and therefore I may not be aware of the degree of a parent’s innate nurturing nature for his her/her children. I did however, have parents of my own and I witnessed the actions of my friends’ parents, so I am not completely ignorant of the sort of symbiotic relationship between parent and child. My childlessness has also provided me the opportunity to have a somewhat objective view of these relationships inasmuch as I am not a member of  “the parent club”.

When I was growing up in the late 1960s and 1970s, my parents stressed the importance of both education and achievement. I was encouraged to do well in school and on the playing field. My parents provided assistance and guidance but they made sure that I was the major participant in those endeavors. They helped with my homework (if they could) when I was struggling and they cheered my team on during sporting events. They applauded my good grades and good games and they consoled me for lesser grades and less stellar physical prowess. In short, they provided the foundation upon which I personally would be responsible for building the finished structure which would become the adult me.

I do not believe that such is the common system of parenting today. It appears to me that today’s parents view the child as an extension of themselves rather than a separate and distinct being. Time and again I am astonished to witness the degree to which today’s parents inject themselves into their child’s endeavors to the extent that the parent seems to be living vicariously through the child and the child appears to be a hollow shell wholly dependent upon the parent to function.

Many of today’s parents seem to believe that they must make their child achieve. For example, I once worked at a law firm where one of the partners asked me to pick up a package at the office of a U.S. Senator. I asked if it had something to do with a certain project we were involved with. To my great surprise, I was told that it was actually a recommendation for the partner’s son to help him gain admittance to a very exclusive pre-school on Beacon Hill. I was informed that without such a pedigree, a child was unlikely to be admitted and that could spell catastrophe in later years for both the child and parents. Despite the absurdity of the whole thing, I often wondered just what the Senator wrote. Was it something like, “I have known little Billy for all 4 years of his life and find him to be dignified, stylish etc. etc.”

There have also been a number of occasions when my spouse and I have been stood-up by friends who, at the last moment, have cancelled plans with us because they must write their child’s school paper or construct his class project. I know parents who, when their child has been given a low grade, chastise the teacher rather than encourage their child to try harder or pay more attention in class. Today, parents arrange organized “play dates” for their children only with friends they approve rather than letting kids simply play with the other kids in the neighborhood regardless of their parents’ socio-economic status. I notice that on the rare occasion when children are actually playing outside at the park, there is a supervising group of parents on-watch stifling any chance that the children might actually behave like children by means of having the occasional scuffle and establishing the natural childhood pecking order. It seems that every youth sports team now has an individual coach (in the form of his parent) for each player.

Unfortunately, this super-parenting is not just limited to the child’s early and teen years. It carries into college as well. My spouse has worked at a Boston area university for over 25 years and I have been shocked to learn how parents today are involving themselves in their children’s higher education. I am told that parents accompany their children at college during the registration period to advocate for their admission to preferred classes. These parents also telephone professors and attempt to schedule office meetings with professors to discuss their grades.

My spouse also says that over the years there has been an ever-increasing lack of social skills amongst university students. The cafeterias are very quiet because rather than students discussing the day’s events with one another, the vast majority simply sit quietly texting and playing games on smart phones. The same silence and solitude permeates the hallways between classes. The students even avoid making eye contact when speaking with college faculty and staff.

All of this seems to be leading to a future society comprised of individuals who are incapable of making important decisions on their own and averse to personally communicating with either their peers or others. These young Americans have also been pampered to the extent that their grades and achievements are not actually their own. This does not bode well. Decision making and intra-personal communication are skills which a well-functioning society requires. Indeed, statistics are also beginning to illustrate our relative decline. The above referenced SERI study which proclaimed Massachusetts as having the best primary education system in the nation reveals some troubling data as well. The study stated that “the U.S. has lagged behind other countries in math and science. A 2009 study showed that American students ranked 25th among 34 countries, behind nations like China, Singapore, South Korea, Hong Kong and Finland.” It even revealed that Massachusetts “would struggle to compete with countries like China or Singapore.”

I find all of this to be very troubling.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody which was originally penned to describe the poorly educated Sarah Palin.

Wonderful World (Don’t Know Much) link:


(sung to the Sam Cooke song “Wonderful World”)

Don’t know much about geography
Don’t know much ecology
Don’t know much about that climate change
Don’t know why voters think I am strange

But I do know I love my shoes
And I really love my beehive ‘do
What a right wing world this should be

Don’t have much of an education
I know a lot about procreation
Opposition should have no voice
Pregnant women should have no choice

Yes, I do practice “politics of hate”
And I love to equivocate
What a right wing world this should be

Now I don’t claim that I can see Russia
From my living room bay
And I do not star on “Thirty Rock”, baby
That’s the talented Tina Fey

Don’t know much about interviews
Don’t know many Supreme Court views
Can’t name any books that I’ve read
Sure glad Bristol and Levi aren’t wed

But I do know my time is due
And I’ll be there in 2-0-1-2
What a right wing world this will be

And I do know you’ll love Sarah P.
We’ll be a nation of Scientology
What a right wing world this will be

Mitt Romney Is A Mexican Polygamist

Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney  is a Mexican polygamist who should not be allowed on election ballots unless and until he proves otherwise with official documentation.

Donald Trump should immediately disavow Mitt(wit) Romney in light of the obviously deficient “Certificate of Live Birth” (i.e. short form birth certificate) released by the Romney campaign last week. As we all know by now, a “Certificate of Live Birth” is not satisfactory evidence of one’s birth. We learned this fact of course, from the “Birthers” who said the said the same thing about President Obama’s “Certificate of Live Birth” which he released in 2008. Also, as in the case of Obama, Romney’s “Certificate of Live Birth” reveals that he cannot be a “natural born citizen” because one parent (his father) was born in a foreign country (Mexico). This also proves that Romney’s father should have been thrown out of the 1968 Presidential election (and the country) back in 1968 when he ran for the highest office in the land. Where was the outrage then?

It is of no consequence if Romney protests that the State of Michigan does not release copies of the full “Long Form Birth Certificate” which it claims to have on file. The “Long Form Birth Certificate” is the only document which can be believed. It is obvious that Mitt Romney is hiding something if he refuses to obtain and release the Long Form. Even if Romney does somehow manage to release the Long Form however, it will either have been doctored by Mormons or be completely forged.

We also know that Mitt Romney was born in Mexico on a polygamist commune. This is obvious because Romney’s great-grandfather Miles  Romney led his family south of the border to Mexico to escape imprisonment in the United States for polygamy as he had 5 wives (Miles’ father had 12 wives). Later, Mitt’s grandfather Gaskell Romney was born in a Mexican polygamist commune as was Mitt’s father, George Romney. This means that Mitt Romney also has at least 5 wives but only declares his first sister wife Ann as his legal wife.

It is time for the American people in general and the “Birther” Movement in particular to demand that Mitt Romney be disqualified from holding office as the President of the United States.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Please enjoy!

The Great Pretender song link:


(sung to The Platters song “The Great Pretender”)

Oh yes, Mitt’s the great pretender
Pretending that he is so swell
His needs are such; he pretends too much
The truth he simply cannot tell

Oh yes, Mitt’s the great pretender
Romney’s true beliefs are unknown
Mitt plays the game; flip-flops without shame
With no firm beliefs of his own

He was pro-choice he had us all believe
But when he faced strife, he switched up to pro-life

Oh yes, Mitt’s the great pretender
His opinion changes by town
Mitt claims to be what he’s not; you see
He wears his deceit like a crown
Romney is a flip-flopping clown

In Mass., health reform was what he achieved
He now says he feels health reform needs repeal

Yes, Mitt’s the great pretender
Just switching positions around
Ol’ Mitt Romney is not what you see
He wears his deceit like a crown
Romney is a flip-flopping clown

Sarah Palin – Reprise II

As the result of a death in our family, we are taking a little bit of a break from posting substantive posts for the next few days. But that is no reason to skip out on some fun columns and song parodies from the past. This one is from January 30, 2010. Pleas enjoy again!

Sarah Palin: A Tea Party Change Of Hearty?

Tea Party Convention Officials anxiously await Palin’s decision.

When Sarah Palin gave up on her State of Alaska and quit the governor’s job last summer she said, (sandwiched between a lot of gibberish) “We are not retreating. We are advancing in another direction”. For Palin, that direction was the world of paid speaking gigs. She ran away from the meager governor’s salary for a potentially lucrative career full of private speaking engagements. The problem for Palin was that she was quickly forced to realize that she was not in particularly high demand for the more prestigious speaking forums.

The trial run at her newly chosen vocation was at a financial investors’ forum in Hong Kong, coverage of which was closed to the press. Despite her attempts to limit critiquing of her oratory abilities by debuting many thousands of miles away from this “great nation of ours” and by closing the event to media coverage, her speech was recorded by many attendees. The reviews were not kind. Consequently, the demand for Palin at premier events spiraled downward.

Another obstacle to Palin’s efforts to secure speaking opportunities was her habit of pulling out of (dare we say, quitting) events at the last moment. On the numerous occasions that she pulled that stunt, she always laid the blame elsewhere. She would either blame the event organizers for announcing her appearance before her final approval, or she would blame her staff for a scheduling snafu. It appeared strange however, that those “problems” seemed to happen so often. One would think that if Palin were serious about her new vocation, she would straighten out the communication and scheduling problems post haste.

Nonetheless, Sarah Palin’s paid speaking opportunities lessened in terms of both quality and quantity. She was not a sought after commodity on the lecture circuit. Indeed, the New York Post reported, lecture buyers “are paralyzed with fear about booking her, basically because they think she’s a blithering idiot.” Ouch, that is going to leave a mark! reported, “Palin is too controversial for the subscription lecture series, whose organizers fear that subscribers will cancel if they see her on the schedule. Corporations, too, like to avoid controversy, and universities tend to lean left. ‘Palin is so uninteresting to so many groups—unless they are interested in moose hunting,’ says an insider. ‘What does she have to say? She can’t even describe what she reads.’ ” Nuff said.

Sarah Palin was left with only the dregs of the lecture circuit. She was booked to speak at two separate Tea Bagger events in January and February 2010. Unfortunately, Palin got a taste of her own medicine when the January event in Texas was canceled at the last moment without explanation. But for those venues, Palin has been relegated to the status of washed up Las Vegas entertainer. Really.  The former Republican Vice Presidential nominee is scheduled to make two speaking engagements in “Sin City”. Isn’t that a little like mixing oil and water? It seems odd that the conservative right’s poster child for family values and morality would be spending quality time in the the land of gambling, prostitution and organized crime. But hey, whatever grinds your beans.

First Sarah Palin accepted the gig as keynote speaker at the Bowling Proprietors’ Association of America’s Bowl Expo (i.e. The Bowling Convention) in June. That is about as far away from a prestigious speaking engagement as one can get. Maybe the bowlers will honor Palin with one of those snazzy bowling league shirts with her name (“Barricuda” maybe?) embroidered thereon. Or perhaps they might present her with a pair of high heeled bowling shoes. The possibilities are endless.

As a warm-up to the bowling event, Palin will be the keynote speaker at the Wine and Liquor Wholesalers of America convention (i.e. The Boozers’ Ball) also to be held in Vegas this April. The gala will include a “Wine and Spirits Tasting Competition”. Let’s all pray that Todd “The First Dude” Palin will not be driving anybody back to the hotel after that. Perhaps the conventioneers will honor Sarah Palin by naming a new drink after her. Maybe a “Quinine Quitter” or “Alaska Disastah” or “I Can See A White Russian From My House”? Any other suggestions?

As a precursor to both of those events however, Palin is scheduled to be the keynote speaker at the National Tea Party Convention in Nashville, TN on February 6th. Like all things Palin and/or Tea Party related however, the event is devolving into a complete disaster. The writing was on the wall from the beginning. The last two Tea Party events were smaller than a five year old’s birthday party and those in attendance shared the  same level of education as the aforementioned cake and ice cream eaters. First there was the Washington DC “Die In” in which Tea Baggers were prepared to play dead inside congressional buildings as a protest against health care reform. Unfortunately very few Tea Baggers were “dying” to get involved. Next, there was the Tea Baggers’ National Strike planned for January 20th when the Baggers intended to show the world how they could strike or boycott media outlets and businesses that they do not watch or patronize anyway. By a showing of hands, how many of you even know if the strike took place?

So, what about the big National Tea Party Convention? Well, the first problem is the price of admission. Tickets are priced at a hefty $ 349.00 and $ 549.00. That is a lot of dough for all those marginally employed Tea Baggers. To add insult to injury, Palin was to be paid over $ 100,000.00 for her appearance. Did the organizers forget that Tea Baggers allegedly oppose excessive spending as well as elitists that profit off them? Ticket sales dwindled and then came the speaker cancellations. Congresswomen Marsha Blackburn and moonbat -crazy Michele Bachmann each backed out of the event on Thursday. Ticket sales plummeted even further. Consequently, Sarah Palin is now in a dilemma.

If Palin honors her commitment to speak at the event, she will once again be associated with a less than prestigious forum and most likely a small audience. If, like Blackburn and Bachmann, she cancels her appearance, she will add to her own legend as the nation’s Quitter in Chief. What’s the poor girl to do? Will she stay or will she go?

I bet you folks know where this one is going, don’t you? Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Should I Stay Or Should I Go? song link:


(Sung to the Clash song “Should I Stay or Should I Go”)

(Whoo! – – – Allah!)

Sarah you gotta let us know
Will you stay or will you go?
Can you make it there on time?
Your speech begins at ten to nine
You just have to let us know,
Will you make it to the show?

It’s always me, me, me
Yes, they agreed to pay your fee
If you have a nerve attack,
Do you agree to pay them back?
The “Tea Baggers” want to know
Is it “yes” or is it “no” ?

Will she stay or will she go now?
Will she stay or will she go now?
If she goes, she will be humbled
But if she stays there will be trouble
So come on and let us know

Her poor decisions boggle me
Palin’s become a mockery
Since demanding such a large fee
She is no longer their “cup of tea”
Come on and let us know,
Is she brain-dead or is it show?


Will she stay or will she go now?
Will she stay or will she go now?
If she stays, she’ll stir up trouble,
But if she goes she will be humbled
We just hope that if she goes…
She pleases all those “Sixpack Joes”

Will she stay or will she go now?
If she goes, she’ll stir up trouble,
And if she stays, laughs will be doubled
We just hope that if she goes
She wears some garish slutty clothes!!!

Sarah Palin – Reprise

As the result of a death in our family, we are taking a little bit of a break from posting substantive posts for the next few days. But that is no reason to skip out on some fun columns and song parodies from the past. This one is from November 19, 2009. Please enjoy again!

Sarah Palin, The Sometimes Reluctant Covergirl

There she goes again. Sarah Palin, the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska is once again claiming to be a victim of the mainstream media. This time the target of her accusation is the November 22, 2oo9 edition of Newsweek magazine (see above). On Monday, Palin posted the following on her Facebook page:

“The choice of photo for the cover of this week’s Newsweek is unfortunate. When it comes to Sarah Palin, this ‘news’ magazine has relished focusing on the irrelevant rather than the relevant. The out-of-context Newsweek approach is sexist, and oh-so-expected by now.”

But is it really the photo that Ms. Quittypants is upset about for being “sexist”? After all, she did pose for that photo and never objected publicly to the nearly identical photos published this year in a running magazine. And do “sexist” magazine covers always bother her? If so, then why did she not complain about being referred to as “America’s Hottest Governor” on the cover of the February 2008 edition of Alaska magazine? No, we would venture to guess that Palin is not as upset at the photo which appears on the cover of Newsweek, but rather the caption which accompanies it. It says, “How do you solve a problem like Sarah? She’s bad news for the GOP – and for everybody else, too.” It seems that the clearly “sexist” caption of the Alaska magazine was okay for Sarah because it was flattering to her. The Newsweek photo however, was highly objectionable it seems, because the accompanying caption cast Palin in such an unflattering light.

Poor Sarah, she can’t help it. She was born with a simple mind in her mouth.

And that brings us to today’s parody. In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

Simon Says song link:


(sung to the 1910 Fruitgum Company song “Simon Says”)

She likes to play a game,
That is so much fun,
And it’s something even she can do,
The name of the game is “Simple Sarah Says”,
And she would like for you to play it too

Put style gel in your hair,
Simple Sarah says,
Lipstick on your mouth,
Simple Sarah says,
Do it when Palin says,
Simple Sarah says,
And they will vote you right out

Simple Sarah says,
Put glasses on your head,
Don some pants that stretch,
Sarah says,

Simple Sarah says,
Get Bristol out of bed,
That Levi is stiff,
Sarah says,

A beehive on your head,
Simple Sarah says,
The First Dude by your side,
Simple Sarah says,
Hate speech for the left,
Simple Sarah says,
Kind words for the right

(musical interlude)

F-me pumps that are red,
Simple Sarah says,
A gun strapped to your side,
Simple Sarah says,
Diversity left,
Simple Sarah says,
Only whites on the right

Now that we have learned,
To play this game with she,
Sarah Palin has something to do,
Let’s try it once again,
We’ll mimic Sarah P.,
But let’s do it while we’re drinking too

Go kill a polar bear,
Simple Sarah says,
Give your shoes a shine,
Simple Sarah says,
Dress yourself like a whore,
Simple Sarah says,
Ah, you’re looking fine,
Simple Sarah says,
Now, interview if you dare,
Simple Sarah says,
Mingle with the slime,
Simple Sarah says,
Get your ass out the door,
Simple Sarah says,
Make it double time

Sarah Palin Boob Tube Theme Songs – Reprise

As the result of a death in our family, we are taking a little bit of a break from posting substantive posts for the next few days. But that is no reason to skip out on some fun song parodies. Inasmuch as Sarah Palin fancies herself the outdoorsy type, we thought we might spoof her with the classic 1960’s theme song from television’s Daniel Boone.

Daniel Boone theme song link:


(sung to the theme of “Daniel Boone”)

Sarah P. was a guv.
She was a lame guv.
But McCain was even lamer,
so should we really blame her, golly gee

Sarah P. was a guv.
She was a dumb guv.
But the First Dude was dumber,
so she summoned “Joe the Plumber” to the scene.

From the beehive do on the top of her head
To the spike of her high heeled shoes;
Like a zombie from “Night of the Living Dead”,
She looked so damn confused.

Sarah P. was a guv.
She was a slick guv.
In an attempt to win her hicks back;
Her speeches addressed “Joe Sixpack’ all the time.

Drivin’ demons out with prayer!
A one-time Wasilla mayor, was she!

Sarah P. was a guv.
She was a big guv.
But her quitting nature’s bigger;
So she pulled the quitting trigger, did she.

Sarah P. was a guv.
She was a gun guv.
She loved aerial shootin’;
And would love to blast Mike Wooten from a tree!

She said, “Thanks But No Thanks” and “Drill Baby Drill”
But beyond that had nothin’ to say;
During interviews, she just should have sat still,
Was upstaged by Tina Fey

Sarah P. was a guv.
Was a swine guv.
And she was quite a whiner;
With her lipstick and eye-liner, was she!