Santorum Hopes For A Gift From Santa Palin!

Republican Presidential candidate Rick Santorum has a couple of wishes this Christmas Season. Santorum of course, is presently just an “also ran” in the clown-car full of GOP nominee hopefuls. In fact, that cab of crazies may not even have enough room for Santorum what with the likes of Michele “HPV = Mental Retardation” Bachmann, Ron “Fort Knox is Empty” Paul, Mitt “Flip-Flop” Romney, Rick “3 Agencies” Perry, Newt “Freddie Mac” Gingrich and Jon “Who?” Huntsman. Then again, Santorum may be able to squeeze himself into the rumble seat once occupied by Herman “Player” Cain. Nonetheless, Rick Santorum is hopeful and seeking a few blessings this month.

It is a desperate sense of hope however, because the things that Santorum is hoping for are the sort of things only a frantic person would desire. Wish number 1? Rick Santorum is hoping that Sarah Palin will throw him a bone. Remember Sarah Palin? She was the self-promoting, book-selling, bus-touring, tea-partying, reality television-starring Fox News contributor. She was also the failed Republican Vice Presidential nominee and former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska. Well, Santorum sees her as “Santa Palin” and he is hoping she will drop down his chimney with a coveted present in the next week or so bearing a gift.

Is Santorum so bold as to expect a full fledged endorsement from Santa Palin? Not so much. While appearing on Fox News (where else?) last Sunday, Santorum said he would gladly take “any help” at all from Palin. He cited the fact that the “Queen of Quit” has often commended his “ideological consistency”. Palin has been correct in doing so because Santorum has never once wavered from his contention that gay marriage leads to sex with dogs. Of Palin, Santorum said,

“I reached out to her just to thank her for her kind comments and said I appreciate any help that she could give us. She was very kind in responding and she’s gonna make her decision as to when she’s gonna endorse or if she’s going to endorse, but I did not reach out to her before she made the kind comments about me.”

But why would Santorum want an endorsement or “any help” from Sarah Palin? She is after all,  yesterday’s news and today’s laughing-stock. Indeed while appearing on Fox News (where else) just last week Palin said, “I think my personal endorsement probably doesn’t amount to a hill of beans today, at this point in the race.” For once Sarah Palin has spoken the truth.

Oh yes, what was Rick Santorum’s 2nd Holiday wish? He hopes that nobody Googles his last name. Hint, hint.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune (if you are from Mars) and to have more fun singing along with today’s Holiday Season inspired song parody.

Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvD9TkNlk_I

SARAH THE RED STATE BIMBO

(sung to the theme of “Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer”)

You know Paris and Lindsay and Charo and Britney
Nicole, Ivana and Jessica Simpson
But do you recall the most famous bimbo of all?

Sarah the Red State bimbo
Had a very strange hairstyle
And she had a way of speaking
That reminded one of Gomer Pyle

All of the other guv’nors
Used to laugh and call her names
Because her stupid glasses
Were all lens but had no frames

Then one balmy summer day
John McCain enquired
Sarah, you’re so “mavericky”
Won’t you please be my V.P.?

Then all the dumb red staters
Wondered who the hell was she
They never heard of Palin
The Alaskan hillbilly

(Hilarious bumbling televised interview break)

Sarah the red state bimbo
Dressed like a flight attendant ‘ho
And she told lies so often
We could all watch her nose grow

All of the other bimbos
Used to laugh and call her names
They all knew Sarah Palin
Was a gal that had no brains

Then one balmy July day
They heard Sarah say,
“I won’t give up without a fight”,
“Unless I quit my job tonight”

Then how right-wingers loved her
As they shouted out with glee
“Sarah, the red state bimbo”
“you’ll go down in history”

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Posted on December 12, 2011, in Rick Santorum and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. Hill of beans

    But why would Fox News’ correspondent from the Last Frontier want to endorse a loser like Santorum? Besides, his creepy obsession with gay sex is downright disturbing! What’s the matter with him?

    If Palin’s lucky, her nemesis- the phony Wall St. Mormon- will be vanquished and she’ll have a much easier time attaching herself to her Fox stable mate Gingrich.

  2. Speaking of stables:
    Don’t look at Wonkette and the manger item of Palin (hint, hint).

  3. Christine Hearts Willard

    2010′s most bewitching political figure, former GOP Senate candidate Christine O’Donnell, is adding her involvement to the political circus surrounding the GOP primary presidential contest. The failed Senate candidate announced her endorsement of Mitt Romney last night and took to CNN’s American Morning to trumpet his many qualifications, one of them apparently being “consistency.” (Think Progress)

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