Another One Bites The Dust

It is with deep regret that we ask you to click on the song link here for a final time before reading this blog post so that you may enjoy some very appropriate background music which we will forever remember as “Herman’s Theme”.

First it was Tim Pawlenty. Then it was Donald Trump. Next it was Sarah Palin. Then it was Chris Christie. Now it is Herman Cain who has quit his quest for the Republican nomination for President of the United States.

Cain has announced that he is suspending his campaign because of the barrage of sexual harassment and marital infidelity claims that have been levied against him in the last few weeks. Cain made the decision after having had a long conversation with his wife and several girlfriends. Final score? Girlfriends 1, Cain 0. Cain learned that it is very difficult to profess to being a devout family man when you are accused of a life of lewd sexual behavior by several woman who are not your wife. At least Cain will not have to submit to that lie detector test which he volunteered for last month.

During his announcement, Herman Cain continued to deny any misconduct on his part. He said, “These false and untrue allegations continue to be spinned in the media, and in the court of public opinion so as to create a cloud of doubt over me and this campaign and my family. That spin hurts. It hurts my wife. It hurts my family. It hurts me. And it hurts the American people, because you are being denied solutions to our problems.” Cain then said, “I am not going to be silenced and I am not going away.” Immediately thereafter however, Herman Cain was silent and then he went away.

It would have been so much more dramatic if he uttered those famous words which he first voiced when he announced his candidacy…”AW, Shucky Ducky!” In any event, the “Cain Train” (as he refererd to his campaign) is now nothing more than a train wreck. Good riddance, Herman. Don’t let the Koch Brothers kick you in the rear as you exit the public stage.

Inasmuch as near every Republican candidate is imploding before even a single primary election vote has been cast, it is likely that President Obama will run unopposed in 2012.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

“Hurricane” song link:


 (sung to the Bob Dylan song “Hurricane”)

Herman Cain shouts out to the radical right
He was doin’ pretty fine but now he will fall
His 9-9-9 plan was a resounding dud
Romney and Perry are having a ball
Here comes the story of ol’ Herman Cain
The one-time owner of a pizza chain
This guy is now dead and done
Give him a padded cell for thinkin’ he could-a been
The leader of the world.

Herman was chosen by the Tea Party
The only black man to be brainwashed by the GOP
“I will do it” he said as they were clapping hands
“But my views do not register with all the other black men”
“They’re non-believers” he says and he stops
“There’s already a black man at the top”
“Can I keep my pizza shops?”
“Will I somehow make the scene with my liberal-bashin’
“As a black man on the right?”

Meanwhile far away in another part of town
The Koch Brothers and a couple of friends are drivin’ around
They needed somebody to don the right-wing crown
Had no idea the kind of idiots who were hangin’ around
Michele Bachmann looked like she was about to explode
Just like the time before Mitt Romney can’t stand pat
And Rick Perry is just too dumb and slow
He’s a hack… and he is destined for a big defeat
And Obama must be beat!

All these fellows prompted laugher and had no chance to reach the top
The Koch Brothers oh so sadly were just out prowling around
They said, “the other men running, they are lightweight candidates”
“They’ll look like morons when they get to the debates”
Those ol’ boys were just inclined to scratch their sore heads
Koch said, “Wait a minute boys, here’s our thoroughbred!”
He then suggested good ol’ Herman C.
And though this man had no history
They told him that he could surely be their chosen man.

Four in the morning and they called Herman in
They were downright hospitable and they calmed all his fears
Then Herman Cain looked up through his two crying eyes
Says, “I’m shedding all these tears because I’m your guy”
Yes, this is the story of ol’ Herman Cain
The one-time owner of a pizza chain
This guy is now dead and done
Give him a padded cell for thinkin’ he could-a been
The leader of the world.

Four months later and Wall Street is inflamed
Herman tells the jobless that they are all to blame
While all those bailed-out bankers profit from their greedy games
And Cain sides with the shifty one-percent while he calls the protesters names
He went even further but he went too far
By raisin’ taxes on those workers at the bar
He showed his tax plan had a fatal flaw
Ol’ Herman Cain began to hem and haw…running in fright
Even attacked from the right.

Now all those Tea-Baggers said, “I’m really not sure”
“Raise all our taxes? Please give us a break!”
“We picked you for this cushy job but just maybe you’re not our fellow”
“Now just like flip-flopping Romney, it seems your spine’s made of Jello”
“You best modify your bad behavior”
“Or Newt Gingrich will become our newest flavor!”
“Now you best listen to us, Sir”
“Don’t wanna pin our hopes and dreams upon him”
“Our view of him is quite dim.”

Cain had to take a stand and he had a hunch
But his cigarette smoking ad proved he was out to lunch
It’s a YouTube play and it was a bad day
Now that it’s over he hopes that it just goes away
Reviews weren’t very nice
Still the next time though, he better think twice
His campaign ad an epic fail
What can Herman do next to bail out?
Cuz he’ll never be the man in the White House

All of Herman’s cards were marked in advance
His campaign was a circus, he never had a chance
He tried to cast detractors as drunkards from the slums
To the sane folks who watched he was a corporate-crony bum
He was a big dope with an ego even bigger
No one doubted he was a gold-digger
And he proved he never was “the one”
The Koch Brothers chose the wrong son.. oh yes, indeed
And all the Tea-Baggers agreed.

Cain was later identified
By two former employees who testified
Of sexual harassment of which Cain lied
And the newspapers they all went along for the ride
How can the wife of such a man
Proudly wear his stained wedding band?
While he claims that he was framed?
Herman Cain should be rightly ashamed… to be such a man
Who would deny his blame.

Now the Koch Brothers in their coats and their ties
Are glad to drink martinis and choose their next guy
There must be somebody out there that they can sell
Cuz Herman Cain he was not all that swell
That’s the story of ol’ Herman Cain
The one-time owner of a pizza chain
This guy is now dead and done
Give him a padded cell for thinkin’ he could-a been
The leader of the world.

Posted on December 3, 2011, in Herman Cain and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.

  1. As they say on ESPN-“come on man”. Not one of these scumbags have one ounce of credibility at all. All are broke-practically homeless and great fronts and actors-ON THE PAYROLL I AM SURE” for you libtards. The left elitists couldn”t hold their caviar down if a REAL black man was in the game any longer. Deeper covert things are carried out in many circles every day in this world that we have no idea about. These dirtbags were plants to bring down a black man who actually HAS work experience. I ask ” Is your life better now than four years ago?” A little boy lost is making you all a laughing matter to the rest of the world. This is more than serious and I can’t for the life of me understand how you continue to wear the blinders as to the most serious debacle in your life. Give us credible evidence of ANY positive accomplishments of this administration ??? Print the names of all his people who have hauled butt away from there. That is true warning of the sinking ship. Wake up soon.

    • another dining room table heard from…

    • For a start, you could ask anyone who works directly or indirectly in the US auto industry how they feel about this administrations accomplishments…

    • Not only is Herman Cain a philandering creep, but he is also stupid when it comes to foreign policy. See-Chinese Nukes, and Position on Lybia. He is simply unqualified to be President. As for Obama ‘s accomplishments, see the end of the Iraq War and DADT, the elimination of Osama bin Laden and Ghadaffi (without the loss of one single American life), the passage of the Financial Regulatory Law which prohibits any banks from ever again becoming “too big to fail” and thereby necessitating another taxpayer bailout, the new health care law which prohibits insurers from capping benefits and denying coverage as the result of pre-existing conditions and the wage-earner tax break.

  2. Cain to spend more time with other people’s wives

    Our favorite lobbyist should really be remembered as a shameless stone-cold liar or, better, as an incompetent, bumbling charlatan. He’ll probably end up as an obscure trivia question about yet another sanctimonious family values huckster exposed as a fraud.

    What a tremendous A-hole!

  3. A view from abroad

    Welcome to the wonderful world of the Republican Party. Or rather: to the distorted world of its presidential campaign. For months it has coiled through the country like a traveling circus, from debate to debate, from scandal to scandal, contesting the mightiest office in the world — and nothing is ever too unfathomable for them… These eight presidential wannabes are happy enough not only to demolish their own reputations but also that of their party, the once worthy party of Abraham Lincoln. They are also ruining the reputation of the United States.

  4. Circus Circus

    Congratulations to Paul and Huntsman: “The selection of a reality television personality to host a presidential debate that voters nationwide will be watching is beneath the office of the Presidency and flies in the face of that office’s history and dignity,”

  5. Pool ol’ Herb – he has delusions of slander. Thank you girlfriends!

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