Monthly Archives: October 2011

Palin Memorial Month Continues…

Now that Sarah Palin has quit once again and her rapid fade from relevance has commenced, we thought it might be fun to memorialize her by re-posting some of our favorite Palin-centric columns and song parodies from the past. Let’s raise our collective glasses and toast the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska! Ah, Sarah, we hardly knew ye!

This columns were originally posted way back on June 14th, June 15th and June 16th of 2009. They dealt with the feud between Sarah Palin and David Letterman which erupted when Letterman made a joke about one of Palin’s teen daughters getting pregnant out of wedlock.

PALIN’S LATE NIGHT FIGHT

Palin Letterman

OK folks, you knew this one would be coming. So, without further adieu, please enjoy the David Letterman/Sarah Palin song parody.

As usual, please remember to click on the song link below so that you will have much more fun singing along.

You May Be Right song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cih0btgJw8s&feature=related

DAVE MAY BE RIGHT

(sung to the Billy Joel song “You May Be Right”)

Monday night Dave trashed her daughter
Wednesday night he said, “I’m sorry”
Friday night he trashed her once again
He was only having fun
With the Guv’nor with a gun
And we all enjoyed the heated tense exchange

Palin’s living in the twilight zone
She has the thinnest skin we know
Like the Oz Scarecrow she could really use a brain
Polls now show she’s in a dive
And her hair in that beehive
Like we said, this only shows that she’s insane

Dave may be right, Sarah is crazy
But she just may be the lunatic you’re voting for
She’s not too bright, thinking is hazy
Dave may be wrong but I’ll bet the house that Dave is right

Remember when Dave without fear
Called out the slutty clothes she wears
And then Todd, The First Dude went simply wild
He is such a macho man
No longer a Late Show fan
Since Dave Letterman called out his wife and child

Just think of all the jokes Dave will do
That make fun of Ms. Caribou
We will hear them every other day
They’ll be crazy but they’re true
Each time Sarah speaks anew
And we wouldn’t want it any other way

Dave may be right, Sarah is crazy
But she just may be the lunatic you’re voting for
She’s not too bright, thinking is hazy
Dave may be wrong but I’ll bet the house that Dave is right

Dave may be right, Sarah is crazy
But she just may be the lunatic you’re voting for
She’s not too bright, thinking is hazy
Dave may be wrong but I’ll bet the house that Dave is right

Dave may be wrong but I’ll bet the house that Dave is right.
Dave may be wrong but I’ll bet the house that Dave is right.
Dave may be wrong but I’ll bet the house that Dave is right.
Dave may be wrong but I’ll bet the house that Dave is right.
Dave may be wrong but I’ll bet the house that Dave is right.
Dave may be wrong but I’ll bet the house that Dave is right.

HERE’S TO YOU MR. LETTERMAN (PALIN)

Sarah Palin watches Late Nite With David LettermanSarah Palin enjoys Late Nite With David Letterman

We believe that the Sarah Palin/David Letterman feud still has a lot of legs. So here comes the newest song parody.

As always, please remember to click on the song link below because then it is a lot more fun to sing along.

Mrs. Robinson song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_jmDscGi7E

MR. LETTERMAN

(sung to the Simon and Garfunkel song “Mrs. Robinson”)

Dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee

And here’s to you, Mr. Letterman
We all love you more than you will know (Wo, wo, wo)
And your Top Ten Mr. Letterman
When you blasted Palin last Monday
(Hey, hey, hey…hey, hey, hey)

She is a little spoiled brat disguised behind her smiles
We’d like to help her learn to help herself
But she is just a lipsticked pig with winking blinking eyes
We pee’d our pants when she got punked on the phone

And here’s to you, Mr. Letterman
We all love you more than you will know (Wo, wo, wo)
And your Top Ten Mr. Letterman
When you blasted Palin last Monday
(Hey, hey, hey…hey, hey, hey)

Sarah P’s too thin skinned to appear on late night shows
She and her whole family are just fruitcakes
Though we are all waiting for some news on her affair
Most of all, she’s got to hide it from her kids

Coo, coo, ca-choo, Mr. Letterman
We all love you more than you will know (Wo, wo, wo)
And your Top Ten Mr. Letterman
When you blasted Palin last Monday
(Hey, hey, hey…hey, hey, hey)

Sitting on her snowmachine most every afternoon
Screwing up her candidates debate
Laugh about it, shout about it
And her foolish shoes
Ev’ry way we look at her, she’ll lose

Where have you gone, Joe The Plumber, oh
Sarah P. turns her blinking eyes to you (Woo, woo, woo)
What’s that you say, Mr. Letterman?
Plumber Joe is your target today
(Hey, hey, hey…hey, hey, hey)

LETTERMAN/PALIN – THE APOLOGY

PalinLetterman3

In an attempt to end their feud, last night, David Letterman offered an on-air apology to Sarah Palin and family for the joke he made about her daughter (Bristol or Willow?) last Monday. The apology was direct and sincere. Of course, Sarah Palin accepted the apology graciously, released a statement saying so and that was the end of the battle.

Hold on just a second. Pardon me. What’s that, Palin did not graciously accept the apology and end the battle? She said what? Oh, this is what she said…

Of course it’s accepted on behalf of young women, like my daughters, who hope men who ‘joke’ about public displays of sexual exploitation of girls will soon evolve. Letterman certainly has the right to ‘joke’ about whatever he wants to, and thankfully we have the right to express our reaction,” Palin said. “This is all thanks to our U.S. Military women and men putting their lives on the line for us to secure America’s Right to Free Speech – in this case, may that right be used to promote equality and respect.

That didn’t sound gracious. By the way, isn’t Palin a christian fundamentalist? Is she allowed by church doctrine to say “evolve” inasmuch as she does not believe in evolution? I am also a little confused about evoking the military as the savior of free speech when it was Letterman’s free speech that she wanted to quelch in the first place. Oh well, let’s have a song…

Remember to click on the song link below because you will have more fun singing along.

Oh My My song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1C6rFWfYMg

OH MY MY

(sung to the Ringo Starr song “Oh My My”)

She called up John Ziegler to see what’s the matter
He said, “come on over”
“And wear your tin hat, dear”
Her knees started shakin’, her head started achin’
When John Ziegler said to she:

Oh my my, oh my my, Dave Letterman, poked your eye
Oh my my, oh my my, We can fire him, if we lie
Oh my my, oh my my, it’s guaranteed to keep you alive

Let’s give Dave a screwin’, then we’ll get Jay Leno
Then let’s can O’Brien, if we are able
Then Sarah was squealin’ “you betta believe I’ll…”
“Stay away from Tina Fey”

Oh my my, oh my my, Dave Letterman, poked my eye
Oh my my, oh my my, I can fire him, if I lie
Oh my my, if I try, it’s guaranteed to keep me alive

(musical interlude)

Now if Dave should back down and take back his joke now
Remember your daughter, make it even hotter
It’s you he was dissin’, so don’t even listen
Don’t accept his apology

Oh my my, oh my my, Dave Letterman, poked your eye
Oh my my, oh my my, We can fire him, if we lie
Oh my my, oh my my, it’s guaranteed to keep you alive

(repeat to end)

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Elizabeth Warren Gets Under Scott Brown’s Exposed Skin

This is what Elizabeth Warren thinks of Scott Brown's centerfold.

The race for Ted Kennedy’s Massachusetts Senate seat is heating up. You might recall that after Kennedy passed away in 2009, a special election to fill his seat was held in January 2010. As the result of out of state Tea Party money and some local Democratic Party apathy, Republican Scott Brown won that election. The very next day, Massachusetts Democrats vowed to re-energize themselves so as not only to recapture Kennedy’s Senate seat in 2012 but to ensure that Democrats hold on to every elected position which they control in the bluest of blue states.

As the month’s passed, Scott Brown’s popularity began to wain both nationally and in Massachusetts. The radically conservative Tea Baggers were angered at Brown as the result of his siding with Democrats on some crucial Senate votes such as on an expensive jobs bill and he has repeatedly sided with Democrats on cloture votes which served to defeat Republican filibusters of Democratic bills. He has also lost luster amongst Bay Staters because he has been legislatively insignificant (as compared to Kennedy) and because he has been seen by many as a person who is willing to enable a child molester to continue offending. In his recently released memoir, Brown admitted that he was sexually molested as child at a local summer camp, but he has refused every request from law enforcement officials to identify the criminal so that he may be apprehended.

The strengthening wave of Democratic momentum and the ebbing tide of enthusiasm for Scott Brown became most evident last November during the national midterm elections. Brown’s seat was not up for election, but most every other statewide seat was in contest. The startling result was that in an election where Republican candidates won in a landslide of national elections and captured control of the US House of Representatives, the Brown-endorsed GOP candidates lost every single statewide race in Massachusetts. This made the Democratic party even stronger in that state than it was prior to Brown’s election. Suddenly Scott Brown’s formerly iron-clad grasp on the Senate seat was showing signs of weakness. What the Democrats needed however, was a strong challenger.

Enter Elizabeth Warren. The Harvard Law School professor and architect of the newly formed Consumer Financial Protection Bureau recently declared her candidacy. She brought instant momentum in the form of national support (and the out of state money which comes with that) and her high profile energized Massachusetts Democrats. In less than a month after announcing her candidacy, Warren vaulted ahead of Brown in the polls. Next, she gave an impromptu speech at the home of a local supporter which was captured by an attendee’s video camera.  Her impassioned delivery of the progressive message that government helps not only the needy but also the well to do became an instant viral YouTube hit.

Seizing upon her gaining momentum, Warren then had a little fun at last week’s Massachusetts Democratic Senate debate. She chided Scott Brown on at least two occasions. First she declared that unlike Brown, she would would not be named “Wall Street’s Favorite Senator”.

Next, when asked how she paid for her college education, Warren jokingly answered, “I didn’t take my clothes off.” This was a lighthearted jab at Scott Brown for his decision to pose nude in Cosmopolitan magazine to finance his law school tuition. Brown however, took offense. He appeared on a Boston radio station a few days later and when asked by the host what his response to Warren’s comment would be, he answered, “Thank God.” Brown then gaffed however, by saying that unlike Warren, “I didn’t go to Harvard, I went to the school of hard knocks and I did whatever I had to do to pay for school.” Problem is, Elizabeth Warren did not go to Harvard either. In fact, the schools attended by Brown (Tufts University and Boston College Law School) are both “expensive, private, liberal elitist East Coast schools” as compared to the schools (University of Houston and Rutgers School of Law) which Warren attended.

There is no question that Elizabeth Warren has gotten under the very exposed skin of Scott Brown.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Please enjoy!

I’M DOWN (ON SCOTT BROWN)

(sung to the Beatles song “I’m Down”)

Scott’s tellin’ lies thinking I can’t see
That nude guy is so blind he can’t see
I’m down (I’m really down)
I’m down (Down on Scott Brown)
I’m down (I’m really down)
Watch as I laugh at that nude Scott Brown
(Watch as I laugh) When we vote him down

We’ll all sing when he’s voted away
Brown’s short fling will be over in days
I’m down (I’m really down)
I’m down (Down on Scott Brown)
I’m down (I’m really down)
Watch as I laugh at that nude Scott Brown
(Watch as I laugh) When we vote him down

Once he’s dethroned, he’ll be all by himself
Scott will moan: “They wanted somebody else!”
I’m down (I’m really down)
Let’s vote him down (Vote down Scott Brown)
Scott Brown (He’s goin’ down)
Watch as I laugh at that nude Scott Brown
(Watch as I laugh) When we vote him down

(Wow! Scott’s goin’ down!)

Whoo, baaby!

Oh Scott, you’re soon going down (He’s goin’ down)
I guess your down (He’s really down)
We’re down on Scott Brown (He’s goin’ down)
Scott! Brown! (He’s goin’ down)
Let’s hang him upside down
Oh yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, yeh, he’s down (He’s really down)
Scott baby you’re down (He’s really down)
Let’s hang him upside down (Let’s watch him frown)
Ooh, that Brown (He’s such a clown)
Scott baby you’re down, yeh
Scott baby you’re down, yeh
Scottie, you’re down (You’re really down)
Scott baby you’re down (You’re goin’ down)
Oh, Scottie, Scottie, Scottie! (You’re goin’ down)
Oh, Scottie you’re down (You’re goin’ down)
You’re down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down,  yeh, whoa!!!

Lynnrockets’ Columbus Day Off

Today is a day when we conduct one of our family traditions. The autumn in New England is a magical time when the air is crisp and clean, the foliage is bold and bright and the smell of burning leaves and baking apples pies is everywhere. It is the season which defines New England best and endears it most to me.

Early in the morning each Columbus Day we assemble the family and head out to the Topsfield Fair in Topsfield, Massachusetts some 30 or so miles north of Boston. The Topsfield Fair is the nation’s oldest continuously run agricultural fair. It began back in 1818 as a vehicle to “to promote and improve the agricultural interests of farmers and others in Essex County.” By government decree it was suspended for three years during the Civil War and for three years, 1943, 1944 and 1945 during World War II. It has since developed the trappings and attractions of so many state fairs such as a midway with thrill rides and the usual assortment of exotic junk foods such as this year’s specialty, Fried Kool Aid (BTW, I am told that Tea Partiers are particularly fond of that treat).

Yet, despite the modern carnival atmosphere, the Topsfield Fair has somehow maintained the feeling of its agricultural history. There are assorted barn-like structures which display all the award-winning rabbits and chickens and turkeys, and pigeons, and vegetables, and flowers. There are also structures in which vendors hawk farm equipment and tractors and plows. There are dog shows and horse shows and pig chases and live entertainment. Nobody would miss viewing the giant pumpkin contest winner which is always prominently displayed in the very same spot of honor.

Nothing ever changes much at the Topsfield Fair, including the members of our touring party of about 10 or 12. Our ages change and members retire due to age and are replaced by fresh young toddlers, but the bloodline remains intact and the tradition persists. That is a nice feeling in these days of constant change and instant communication with strangers. Some quaint family traditions have that magical aura that reminds you how simple, loving and fun life can be. That might be the most rewarding and heart-warming feeling of them all.

Well, we are off to the fair!

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 93

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS:  Massachusetts voters actually like candidates with Ivy League connections. The most  poll from the Western New England University Polling Institute reveals that only 13 percent of Massachusetts are “less likely” to vote for Democratic US Senate candidate Elizabeth Warren because she teaches at Harvard Law School. Conversely, 21 percent said that fact makes them more likely to vote for Warren while 63 percent said it makes no difference at all. Something tells me the result would have been different in Texas.

THIS JUST IN:  Have you noticed that the Republican Presidential candidates (especially Michele Bachmann) have stopped talking about the price of gas? The reason for their sudden silence might have something to do with the fact that gas prices have been falling since may to about $ 3.40 as of October 5th. There goes one more GOP talking point out the window.

BREAKING NEWS:  It was nice to see that Democrat Earl Ray Tomblin beat his Republican opponent in West Virginia’s special gubernatorial election last week. Congratulations Earl!

THIS JUST IN:  Did you realize that the War in Afghanistan had its 10th anniversary on October 7th? Viet Nam anyone?

BREAKING NEWS:  This week’s episode of “Sane Judicial Decisions Which Are Certain To Be Overturned By The US Supreme Court” features the US Appeals Court for the District of Columbia which upheld as constitutional, a D.C. law which bans semi-automatic rifles and large capacity ammunition magazines.

THIS JUST IN:  Herman Cain must not want to be President of the United States. If he did, he would never have said the following to the over 14 million presently unemployed American voters, “If you don’t have a job and you’re not rich, blame yourself.” Something tells me that those words are going to come to roost at Cain campaign headquarters.

BREAKING NEWS:  It looks like GOP Presidential candidate Rick Perry may also have to deal with some chickens coming home to roost. Texas pastor, Robert Jeffress introduced Perry at a conference of Christian conservatives last week and then stated that Mitt Romney is not a Christian and that the Mormon Church is a cult. I wonder if Jeffress feels the same about Jon Huntsman? Perry now has his own Reverend Wright.

THIS JUST IN:  The economic geniuses over at Fox News have repeatedly criticized the Democrats’ attempts to raise taxes on millionaires as “class warfare” while touting Herman Cain‘s 9-9-9 plan which would raise taxes on the poor and middle class as sound economic policy. Hmm?

BREAKING NEWS:  Crazy headline of the week: “Tea Party Nation Urges Monday Night Football Boycott, Backs Hank Williams For Senate“.

THIS JUST IN:  Ever wonder what happened to the “Birthers” who believe that President Barack Obama was not born in the United States? Did you think that they walked away with their tails between their collective legs when Obama’s long form birth certificate was produced and authenticated? Nope. They did however take another slap to the face from the US Supreme court last Monday when nation’s highest court refused to take up a case brought by three people “who claim President Barack Obama is not a natural born citizen of the United States of America and, hence, is ineligible to be the President.” Will these people ever learn? Don’t count on it.

BREAKING NEWS: It would appear that Massachusetts’ Democratic candidate for U.S. Senate, Elizabeth Warren is siding with the 99%. In a debate last week she unapologetically said, “The people on Wall Street broke this country, and they did it one lousy mortgage at a time. This happened more than three years ago, and there still has been no basic accountability, and there has been no real effort to fix it. This isn’t about class warfare, this is about the reality of how we prosper as a nation.” Brava, Ms. Warren! She unabashedly speaks truth to power.

THIS JUST IN:  My favorite quote from Jon Stewart on The Daily Show last week was in reference to Sarah Palin‘s announcement that she would not seek the Presidency. Stewart’s quote? “Take The Money And Don’t Run”. Brilliant.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Take The Money And Run song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-vBd-r_Pww

TAKE THE MONEY AND  RUN

(sung to the Steve Miller song “Take The Money And Run”)

This here’s a story ‘bout Sarah P. or “Caribou”
As for nicknames, ya know, she’s got quite a few
There’s “Failin’ Palin” and the “Pig with Lipstick” too
And here’s what happened up north when she was cut loose

She was the Guv, but spent no time in Juneau
One mean bitch with the temperament of Cujo
She double-crossed just about anyone you know
Sarah P. took the money and run

Sarah took the money and run
Sarah took the money and run
Sarah took the money and run
Sarah took the money and run

Sarah P. said she would not accept federal money
She said Obama was up to something funny
She told the Senate to hop away like a bunny
The legislature said, “Thanks But No Thanks” honey

Sarah P. was pissed she didn’t get her way
To Indiana she went, the very next day
The House and Senate, hey
Took the funds anyway
Sarah P. was forced to  declare the “Big OK”
Singin’ OK let’s take the money and run
OK, take the money and run
OK, take the money and run
OK, take the money and run
OK, take the money and run
OK, take the money and run
OK, take the money and run
(Haroooga!)
OK, take the money and run

Palin Memorial Week Continues…

Now that Sarah Palin has quit once again and her rapid fade from relevance has commenced, we thought it might be fun to memorialize her by re-posting some of our favorite Palin-centric columns and song parodies from the past. Let’s raise our collective glasses and toast the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska! Ah, Sarah, we hardly knew ye!

This is a column we originally posted way back on May 14, 2009.

PAGEANT PALS

Sarah Palin remains in the news again today and therefore she will once again be our target. The gracious Governor has now come to the defense of Miss California, Carrie Prejean, who has stirred up a world of controversey after publicly stating that she opposes gay marriage. After having telephoned the beauty queen so as to personally deliver her support, Palin now says, “The liberal onslaught of malicious attacks against Carrie Prejean for expressing her opinion is despicable. Our Constitution protects us all – not just those that agree with the far left.”

Once again, it appears that the erstwhile Palin needs a refresher course in Constitutional Law. Had she attended any one single institution of higher education for more than a month or two, she may have learned that the Constitution of “this great nation of ours” protects a person’s right to free speech from impingement by the government. In the present case, Ms. Prejean’s rights remained fully intact. At no time were her statements in any way barred or censored.

What Ms. Palin fails to understand, however, is that Prejean’s comments are not protected from criticism. The Constitution provides the same protections afforded Ms. Prejean to her critics should they decide to speak publicly about her. And indeed, those critics came well armed.

It is a fact that California Pageant officials paid for Ms. Prejean’s breast enhancement surgery in an attempt to, might we say “enhance” her chances of victory. Such an act is not an outright defiance of pageant rules, but many critics believe such surgery to be a violation of the “spirit” of the competition. They contend that if professional sports leagues ban the use of performance enhancing drugs and steroids in the spirit of maintaining a fair competition amongst athletes, the same standards should apply to a fair competition which judges physical beauty.

It is also a fact that Ms. Prejean was knowingly photographed in a semi-nude state prior to the Miss America Pageant and failed to disclose same to the officials. This transgression on the part of the contestant was in direct breach of the rules of the pageant. Once again, her critics were justified in criticizing her.

In short, Sarah Palin and Carrie Prejean have a lot in common. They both are beauty pageant runner-ups and they both fail to understand the protections granted by the Constitution of the United States of America. Ms. Prejean, however is only 19 years old and has the opportunity now to pursue a meaningful college education after which she can apply her refined knowledge in whatever vocation she chooses. Sarah Palin, on the other hand is a 46 year old grown woman who long ago chose politics and government as her vocation. It is embarrassing that she came to said vocation so ill prepared.

So, let’s have another song…

Copacabana song link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMHp9a5FwrI

COPACAVILLA

(sung to the Barry Manilow song “Copacabana”)

Her name was Sarah, She was a schoolgirl
With lots of style gel in her hair and a dress cut down to there
She used to play flute, no not the skin type
And yes she was a sportscaster, a job that she could not master
Although she was a pup, with Todd she got knocked-up
They were young and they had each other
Just a mere hiccup

At the Copa, Copacavilla
The hottest spot north of Wasilla
At the Copa, Copacavilla
Those rimless glasses made them look like asses
At the Copa…they fell in love

(Copa Copacavilla)

His name was Toddie, she liked his body
They got married one fine day, He insisted he’s not gay
They said a prayer, then she was mayor
But to add some attitude, she changed his name to the “First Dude”
Sarah then hired some crooks, and then she banned some books
There was trouble with city contracts
So they cooked the books

At the Copa, Copacavilla
The hottest spot north of Wasilla
At the Copa, Copacavilla
Handouts and kickbacks and lots of “Joe Sixpacks”
At the Copa…next it was Guv

(Copa..Copacavilla)
(Copa Copacavilla) (Copacavilla, ahh ahh ahh ahh)
(Ahh ahh ahh ahh Copa Copacavilla)
(Wasilla,  rhymes with vanilla)
(Dumbness and fashion… were always her passion)

Her name is Sarah, she is the Guv’nor
She even tried to be V.P.,  cuz she was so damn “Mavericky”
That was a pipedream for our gal, Sarah
The job was above her pay-grade. More substance in lemonade
Her inlaw getting high. Now she just hates Levi
She lost the race and she lost her mojo
Now she’s lost her mind!

At the Copa (CO), Copacavilla (Copacavilla)
The hottest spot north of Wasilla (Here)
At the Copa (CO), Copacavilla
No education. Unwed procreation
At the Copa…That’s our dear Guv

(Copa) That’s our dear Guv
Copacavilla
Copacavilla
(Fade to end)

The Fox Clock Is Ticking On Palin

Now that Sarah Palin has announced that she will not seek the Presidency, her days as a Fox News commentator are numbered. Palin was hired at the Republican Propaganda Network only because she was very popular with crazy conservatives after the 2008 election. Indeed, Roger Ailes, the head of Fox News, admitted just this week that the only reason he hired Palin was “because she was hot and got ratings”. He said nothing about Palin’s political knowledge or insight or her ability to eloquently communicate a message because she lacks those qualities. Now that she is no longer teasing her supporters with a Presidential run, Palin has lost all relevancy and is likely to soon lose her job as well.

It is no secret that Palin had a shaky relationship with her Fox co-workers. Earlier this year on “The Five”, host Greg Gutfeld said that he felt uncomfortable whenever Palin’s name would come up. He said, “The only problem with talking about Sarah Palin is that she works here, and it’s like a coworker, and if I say something bad and I see her in the hallway I feel really awkward and wrong. So I just kind of say, ‘that was a good job!'” His co-host Bob Beckel added, “It has nothing to do with that. It has everything to do with your paycheck. That’s why you feel awkward. I know exactly what you mean. I’ll be honest, I’ve pulled my punches.”

Another example of the poor relations between Palin and other Fox News hosts was Palin’s harsh words for co-workers Megyn Kelly and Juan Williams. Palin accused Kelly of misinforming viewers when Kelly reported on Palin’s low poll ratings. Palin then chastised Juan Williams for mentioning that Palin referred to GOP Presidential candidate Herman Cain as “Herb” and as the Republican “flavor of the month”. Of course the actual truth is that Palin’s poll numbers have been sinking, she did call Herman Cain “Herb” and she did say that he was the “flavor of the month”. Palin however, has never been one to allow facts to get in the way of a good grudge.

Perhaps the best example of Fox co-host strife was evident when Palin appeared on “The O’Reilly Factor” in July of 2010. Bill O’Reilly grilled Sarah Palin on how she would handle the immigration problem if she were the President. He dismissed her cursory and ineffective proposal and Palin responded with huffs and puffs and terse one word answers. It was clear that Sarah Palin was infuriated that she would be challenged while appearing on her own network.

You can just taste the animosity in the air.

Do not worry that times like these will immediately end however. Just a day after the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska announced that she will not run for President, the talent over at Fox News started poking fun at her. Thursday morning on “Fox & Friends”, Palin’s colleague Brian Kilmeade openly laughed at her near indecipherable explanation as to why she would not run. He said, “Is that what she said? It was so circuitous.” Co-host Gretchen Carlson then made fun of Palin’s announcement by comparing it to Chris Christie’s similar announcement a few days earlier. She mockingly distinguished the two announcements by pointing out that “there were tons of people publicly asking Chris Christie to run for President.” The implication of course, was that Palin no longer enjoyed the same type of support.

This open hostility between Fox news hosts cannot last too much longer. Somebody has to go…and that somebody will be Sarah Palin. In light of her announcement, Palin is no longer hot and she will no longer get the ratings. Hey Sarah, don’t let that “death panel” hit you in the wallet on your back to Wasilla!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6U219P_zs7w

THE WRECK OF THE SARAH L. PALIN (Version Two)

(sung to the Gordon Lightfoot song “The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald ”)

The legend lives on from the North Slope on down
To the town they call Sandpoint, Idaho
The Heath’s one would say, had a daughter that day
Why they kept her, I must say, “I don’t know”

They loaded up the truck and they tested their luck
When they moved to Wasilla, Alaska
Sarah enrolled in school and was nobody’s fool
On the court they called her “Barracuda”.

In 1982 she left for Honolulu
Off to Hawaii Pacific College
She did not last long there nor at anywhere
In her quest for some meaningful knowledge.

She finally did see a journalism degree
After stints at 5 or 6 safety schools
Sometime in between she was a pageant queen
Then she worked in TV for KTUU.

She met up with her fate sometime in ’88
When her TV career was a failin’
And everyone knew, as her parents did too
She would soon be the Bride of Todd Palin.

Long before she did wed, she conceived in his bed
That was the end of her abstinency
While laid out on her back, she gave birth to Lil’ Track
The result of an unwed pregnancy.

She was now in a lurch cuz of her right wing church
But she carried on without a care
She had a beehive hairdo, but had nothing to do
That all changed when she became the Mayor.

She appointed some crooks then she banned some good books
No one lasted if they weren’t on her team
Wasilla’s deficit grew, kids fired-up on homebrew
Not to mention the methamphetamine.

She became the next Guv and to show the state love
She proposed to unite remote shore banks
But once in a bind she politely declined
To the bridge she said,”Thanks but no thanks”.

John McCain now you see had to choose a VP
His campaign was certainly failin’
He wanted a she that was trés “mavericky”
So he chose Alaska’s Sarah Palin.

But poor press reviews of her live interviews
With Couric and Gibson oft replayed
Showed she could not spar with the nightly news stars
Let alone outperform Tina Fey

The election was lost and poor Sarah was tossed
From her seat on “The Straight Talk Express”
She went home and did pose in her new store-bought clothes
But  Alaskans were not now impressed

She’s no longer a saint due to ethics complaints
She has nobody left now to wink at
Her opinions ignored and her actions abhorred
“Hockey mom” once again is a rink rat

Her career was a blip, it was a sinking ship
Her supporters are jumpin’ and bailin’
Her character flaws became the final straw
For the wreck known as Sarah L. Palin

Ding, Dong The Witch Is Dead!

Sarah Palin has finally confirmed what everybody already knew. On Wednesday she announced that she will not be running for President of the United States in 2012. Pretty much everybody except Palin already knew this in light of the fact that virtually every poll since last year indicated that vastly more people would reject her campaign than would support it. The plurality of Democrats, Republicans, Independents and even Tea Partiers have time and again sent the message that they had lost all interest in a Palin candidacy. Sarah Palin’s 15 minutes of fame lasted three years, but like all vapid and talentless celebrities, she was unable to maintain relevance and serious interest for too long. She had become a caricature of herself. Yesterday’s announcement sounded the death knell for Palin’s future political career and it will also most likely end her sideshow job as a Fox News commentator. In short, Sarah Palin is no longer the “It” girl and she never will regain that title again.

It seems fitting that Sarah Palin chose the Halloween season to announce the end of her career as a person of interest. She is after all, sort of a blundering, stumbling man-made monster. Just three short years ago almost nobody had ever heard of Sarah Palin. The G.O.P. was led by such familiar names as Mitt Romney, Rudy Giuliani, a resurgent Newt Gingrich and the actor Fred Thompson. Then the unexpected happened. Somehow the centrist John McCain won the Republican Presidential nomination. McCain however, was trailing Democrat Barack Obama by such a wide margin that he was forced to do something drastic in order to draw some attention to his campaign. Much like the literary Dr. Frankenstein, McCain was compelled to create some life from scratch. He stitched together some uber-right-wing conservatism, some female DNA, some down-home colloquialisms, a beehive hairdo and some rimless glasses. His handmade creation was Sarah Palin.

Much like Dr. Frankentein’s monster however, the McCain creation also suffered from some fatal flaws. They both had a damaged brain. Each became stronger and more identifiable than its creator. Both wreaked havoc on society and in the end, the Frankenstein monster and Sarah Palin each turned against their respective creators and embarked on a reign of terror.

The Palin thing was alive, ALIVE! This 21st century mindless monster quit her job as Governor and stumbled out of the wilds of Alaska on her way to the Lower 48. Unable to master the written word, the pathetic creature hired a ghostwriter to pen her fictitious memoir. Unable to master the spoken word, Palin turned to Twitter and Facebook as her means of communication. Unable to appear human on television, she was forced to appear repeatedly on Fox News. The thing that became known as PALIN  sowed fear into the hearts of all uneducated conservatives with her horrific tales of “death panels”, the godless land of Russia that she could see by means of her super-human vision and of her arch enemy, the would-be monster slayer, author Joe McGinniss.

Unlike the Frankenstein monster however, the Palin thing began to amass a large and adoring following. Sure, these devotees were comprised of racist, white, uneducated homophobes from the lowest rung of the food chain, but beggars can’t be choosers. The Palin thing’s fan base became known as the Tea Party (presumably because some mind-altering hallucinogen was slipped into their tea). These Tea-Baggers are a mindless lot that confusingly wants no government control over their government controlled Medicare and Social Security benefits. They hate the Obama administration because of his fictitious tax increases despite the fact that over 95% of them have actually benefited from the President’s middle class tax cuts. The Tea-Baggers crowned the Palin thing as their de facto queen.

The Palin thing’s Tea Party royalty status is the biggest problem for the creature’s former party.  Before John McCain’s monster was created, the whacko Tea-Baggers were all firmly entrenched members of the Republican Party. They voted in lockstep for every Republican they could find thereby ensuring at least some electoral success for the party. The creation of the Palin thing has changed all of that. The Tea-Baggers are now actively seeking candidates from within their own super-radical ranks. These Tea Party candidates are so out of the mainstream that they oppose meaningful portions of the Civil Rights Act (Rand Paul). They hope to privatize Social Security (Rand Paul, Michele Bachmann), criminalize the consumption of alcohol (Sharron Angle), deregulate the oil industry (despite the Gulf oil spill) (Ron Paul), abolish the Dept. of Education (too many to name here), ban masturbation (Christine O’Donnell) and even remove fluoride from the nation’s water supply (Sharron Angle). This is crazy stuff that has drawn votes away from Republicans in favor of unelectable radicals and the Palin thing adds to the chaos by endorsing these candidates.

Like the legendary Frankenstein monster however, the Palin-thing quickly outwore her welcome. She attacked everything in sight and damaged everything she came in contact with (like American history for instance). She engaged in verbal battles and name-calling with former allies like Karl Rove, Meghan McCain and even Fox News co-workers Bill O’Reilly and Megyn Kelly. She stole the spotlight from actual GOP presidential candidates by “coincidentally” giving speeches in early primary states on the exact same dates that the candidates were speaking. She even committed the unforgivable sin of appearing on a realty television program which is the modern-day nursing home for washed up celebrities. She was out of control and most every American finally realized that THE PALIN THING MUST BE DESTROYED!

First the mainstream Republicans avoided Palin whenever they could. Next, the radically conservative radio talk show hosts began poking fun at her absurdity. Soon thereafter, the general public grew tired of her and attacked her with diminishing poll results. Finally, even her most loyal supporters, the Tea Party members, abandoned ship after Palin continued to demand their monetary donations without rewarding their support with any indication that she would seek political office. All of America finally gathered up their pitchforks and torches so as to put and end to Sarah Palin once and for all.

With her announcement yesterday, Sarah Palin spared the masses the unpleasant task of putting her down. The former ex-quitting half-term governor did “the honorable thing” and ended her own political existence. America can now concern itself with extinguishing the nine remaining mini-monsters that comprise the field of Republican presidential candidates.

In memory of the Palin-thing let’s take one last look at some of her greatest hits.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

American Pie song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lu7hxguhFfI

ALASKAN PIE (Version Two)

(sung to the Don McLean song “American Pie”)

A long, long time ago…
I can still remember
Palin’s slutty flight attendant style
And when she blew her only chance
With John McCain in the Big Dance
In light of the pregnancy of her child

In February she did shiver
When Karl Rove sold her down the river
Bad news at her doorstep
She didn’t have no more pep

The allegations she denied
Of all those gifts that she did hide
She took Tea Baggers for a ride
As she cajoled and lied

So bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
Your “death panel” fib was deemed two-oh-nine’s best lie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Did you quit the job you love
After talking with God up above?
Did the good Lord tell you so?
Are you still pals with Plumber Joe?
Do dead fish still “go with the flow”?
How soon before Fox News says, “You must go”?

Well you know that your prospects are grim
’cause you’re way way out there on a limb
You’re sure to have the blues
Man, you screwed up those interviews

You’re just a lonely mid-aged “hockey mom”
With real deep frustration and a man that’s dumb
You’re just a third rate school alum
Today your future died

We started singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
Your “death panel” fib was deemed two-oh-nine’s best lie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Now for three years all you did was drone
Remember Sarkozy on the phone?
But just what will your future be?
Will you pester us like a has-been queen?
Will you pout and whine like a spoiled teen?
In a voice that sounds so shrill and mean,

Oh, and when you leave Wasilla town
Take along your beauty pageant crown
And bridges that you burned
Oh, please never return
And those hits you took will leave some marks
A “Barracuda” is no shark
And you were always in the dark
Today your future died

We were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
Your “death panel” fib was deemed two-oh-nine’s best lie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Helter skelter you are sure to swelter
The ice in your veins may even melt-ah
Legal problems coming fast
You’re landing hard on your ass
No throwing stones in a house of glass
You’re a joker on the sidelines, little lass

Now your thinning hair reeks with perfume
You’re a spaceman cuz you see the moon
Your fans would shout and dance
Oh, to your “drill baby drill” chants!
Katie Couric made you squirm and squeal
And that was when your fate was sealed
Do you recall what was revealed
The day your future died?

We started singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
Your “death panel” fib was deemed two-oh-nine’s best lie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Oh, and then that look upon your face
Not knowing a Supreme Court case
Forget about the Bush Doctrine
So come on: jack be nimble, jack be quick
Sarah Palin’s no “Maverick”
Cuz she’s just a “Barbie” to Todd’s “Ken”

As we watched you on that debate stage
Your hands were clenched in fists of rage
Everyone then could tell
You were praying for the bell
And as you hoped that you could land a right,
To salvage something of the night
We saw Biden laughing with delight
That day your future died

Joe was singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
Your “death panel” fib was deemed two-oh-nine’s best lie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Palin’s a girl who has the blues
And she cannot handle interviews
She quit the race and walked away
She could not take it any more
She hightailed it right out the door
Just like a scared child, she up and ran away

And in the streets the people beamed,
The good Lord had fulfilled their dreams
Let’s hope that he’s not jokin’
The “barracuda’s” broken
We did not really want to boast
But “Mama Bear” was finally toast
She’ll write about it through her ghost
Today her future died.

And we were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
Your “death panel” fib was deemed two-oh-nine’s best lie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

We were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
Your “death panel” fib was deemed two-oh-nine’s best lie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Bachmann Bagged By Blunder (Again!)

The fiction-machine known as Michele Bachmann was caught once again providing misinformation at a campaign rally. At a speech in Sioux City, Iowa on Monday, CNN reports that while answering a question from a member of the audience regarding the proposed oil pipeline between Canada and Texas, Bachmann said,

“I was talking with a businessman this morning up in Minneapolis. And he was up in Williston, North Dakota, where the Bakken oil field is producing. Someone told me that last year that North Dakota was the only nation that actually was running a surplus. And it’s because they’re utilizing their natural energy resources.”

First of all, North Dakota is not a “nation” but that mistake is excusable as a mere slip of the tongue. More importantly however, Bachmann misinformed the audience that North Dakota is “the only [state] that actually was running a surplus”. She was wrong as usual. In fact, Montana, Alaska and Arkansas are also running budget surpluses in 2011. That fact could have been easily verified by Bachmann because it was not a spur of the moment assertion. Bachmann said that she was repeating what someone had told her. She obviously took note and memorized what this person told her, but she failed to verify its veracity before simply parroting the misinformation to an audience.

This is very similar to what Bachmann did a few weeks ago when she asserted as fact, the later-discredited theory that the HPV vaccine can cause mental retardation. Bachmann claimed at the time that she was provided the inaccurate information by a person she had spoken with. The problem however, is not that Bachmann was provided incorrect information by a complete stranger, but rather that she chose to broadcast that information as fact without first verifying its truthfulness.

The moonbat-crazy Bachmann certainly has no need to get her misinformation from strangers. She has made a number of  outrageous and/or completely discredited factual statements on her own such as the following gems as compiled by The Huffington Post:

  • And what a bizarre time we’re in, when a judge will say to little children that you can’t say the pledge of allegiance, but you must learn that homosexuality is normal and you should try it.”
  • “I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out: Are they pro-America or anti-America?”
  • “There are hundreds and hundreds of scientists, many of them holding Nobel Prizes, who believe in intelligent design.”
  • “I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out then under another Democrat president Jimmy Carter. And I’m not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it’s an interesting coincidence.”
  • [Gay marriage] is probably the biggest issue that will impact our state and our nation in the last, at least, thirty years. I am not understating that.”
  • “Normalization [of gayness] through desensitization. Very effective way to do this with a bunch of second graders is take a picture of ‘The Lion King’ for instance, and a teacher might say, ‘Do you know that the music for this movie was written by a gay man?’ The message is: ‘I’m better at what I do, because I’m gay.’”
  • “But we also know that the very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States.”
  • “It is a brand new, billion-dollar high speed train that is going to go from Disneyland up to Las Vegas…Harry Reid, the Senator from Nevada, was behind this measure, and it makes us wonder, is he more interested in making sure kids start gambling at younger ages?”
  • “The President of the United States will be taking a trip over to India that is expected to cost the taxpayers $200 million a day.”

Like Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann says some darned crazy stuff. Indeed, she can match Sarah Palin in the “Tea Party Two-Step” move for move. The Bachmann campaign even stole away Palin’s debate coach. Is that crazy enough for you? Think about that for a moment. Michele Bachmann actually wants to be coached by the person that is highly responsible for some of the all-time worst (yet laugh-out-loud hilarious) debate and interview performances in televised history.

There is no doubt that Michele “Make It Up As You Go Along” Bachmann is the most laughingly entertaining nut in the bag of mixed nuts that is the current field of Republican Presidential candidates. Too bad she has no chance of winning.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Flintstones television theme song link: http://www.televisiontunes.com/Flintstones.html

BACHMANN

(sung to the television theme song “The Flinstones”)

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
A Congresswoman that is bat crazy
She and Sarah Palin
Driving voters from the G.O.P.

She can’t form a sentence that’s complete
Now she’s targeted for big defeat

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
Hates Blacks, children and those that are gay
She is clearly brain dead
Can’t seem to get out of her own way

She talks right through the rain, snow and sleet
Every single thought is incomplete

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Exposed during prime time

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 92

Lynnrockets apologizes for the lack of a post yesterday. There simply was not enough time. You see, we made our annual trek out west to Springfield, Massachusetts to take in The Big E, also known as The Eastern States Exposition. Think state fair. The Big E is not the oldest fair in the nation, that distinction belongs to the much closer (to Boston) Topsfield Fair, nor does its scope encompass all of the eastern seaboard states. It is sort of the combined fair for the six New England states (Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Connecticut, New Hampshire, Maine and Vermont for those of you who might be a little rusty).

It is however, BIG. Very BIG by New England standards. It has all the usual trappings such as livestock competitions, produce contests and each state highlighting products which it believes differentiates it from the others. It has also has the more modern gimmicks such as hundreds of food concessions selling everything from whole turkey legs, to the BIG E Burger (a cheeseburger with bacon sandwiched between a sliced honeydew donut) to this year’s newest fad, fried Kool Aid (I like to think that is marketed to any attendees who may belong to the Tea Party). The Big E also has a giant midway with thrill rides which appear to have been designed with the singular purpose of forcing you to regurgitate anything you may have been foolish enough to eat.

Despite the absurdity of the whole scene. We look forward to the Big E each year as sort of the official beginning of our wonderful New England foliage-bursting autumn season. Simply stated, without the Big E, something would feel like it was missing.

That being said, let’s get back to our regularly scheduled programming. Here are a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week but may have escaped your attention. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS:  What in the wide, wide world of sports happened to the Boston Red Sox?

THIS JUST IN:  This week’s episode of “Another One Bites The Dust” features Republican Presidential candidate Herman Cain‘s communications director Ellen Carmichael (and her assistant), who abruptly quit. This departure follows upon the exit of two other Cain staffers in June. When asked by CNN if the resignations signaled trouble within the Cain campaign, Carmichael responded, “No comment”. Sometimes just a few words can convey a big message.

BREAKING NEWS:  Speaking of Herman Cain, did any of you happen to catch his appearance with Jay Leno last week? When asked by Leno if he stands by his assertion that he would not appoint a Muslim to his cabinet, Cain nervously backtracked and said that he never really meant what he said. He told Leno and the suspicious audience that it should have been clear that what he meant was he “would not appoint a radical Jihadist to his cabinet”. When Leno pointed out that nobody would appoint a Jihadist to his/her cabinet and asked why Cain simply didn’t use the word “Jihadist”, Cain answered that he had wanted to err on the side of safety so he included all Muslims in his statement. “Nuff said.

THIS JUST IN:  After the killing of top-level  al Qaeda recruiter Anwar al-Awlaki, President Barack Obama is receiving some well-deserved credit from Republican politicians. Newt Gingrich said, “We’re going to take out al Qaeda the way they just did it in Yemen, where I do give the President credit”. Mitt Romney said, “I commend the President…”. GOP Rep. Peter King, chairman of the Committee on Homeland Security said it is “a tremendous tribute to the President…” These are exactly the type of words that give acid indigestion to Teapublicans. Break out the Rolaids.

BREAKING NEWS:  Stay tuned. The notorious and radically conservative billionaire Republican financiers the Koch brothers, are about to be exposed in a very unflattering light. Bloomberg Markets magazine is about to release an article which allegedly focuses on malfeasance and/or fraud and/or bad behavior by the conglomerate known as Koch Industries. There must be some truth to the report because the Koch brothers are releasing their public relations lackeys to discredit the story before it is even released. Could it be that a periodical other than the National Enquirer is poised to break an important political story? Enquiring minds want to know.

THIS JUST IN:  Just wondering, but why is the allegedly liberally-biased mainstream media failing to report on the now week-long “Occupy Wall Street” protests which began in New York City and have now spread to financial centers in Boston, Washington D.C., Chicago  and Los Angeles? Something tells me that if this were a Tea Party movement, there would be non-stop coverage.

BREAKING NEWS:  In light of the Republican base’s dissatisfaction with their current crop of moonbat-crazy Presidential candidates, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie is now the “flavor of the week”. Who is next, Mike Huckabee?

THIS JUST IN:  Speaking of governors, has anybody noticed that a second one has called for a universal health care care plan in his state? Montana Gov. Brian Schweitzer announced that he will be seeking a waiver to set up a universal health care system in his state modeled after the single payer Canadian system. This follows upon Vermont Gov. Peter Shumlin‘s signing into law a plan for his state to begin the process of adopting such a plan. Hopefully, this signals that momentum is growing for a national single payer plan.

BREAKING NEWS:  As long as we are on the subject of governors, we might as well mention the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska. Sarah Palin put the world on notice early last summer that she would make an announcement regarding whether she would seek the Presidency by September. It is now October 2nd and still no word. Looks like Sarah Palin is continuing her string of lies.

GO PACKERS!!!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Fins song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UruXWui1EG8

Note: a fib is a lie

FIBS

(sung to the Jimmy Buffett song “Fins”)

She came down from Mat-Su Valley
She signed some books while on her plane
Hoping to incite a riot
Sarah Palin sure loves her fame

The Mama Grizzly is in motion
And all she does is snarl and bark
This re-al-it-y TV star
Lies through morning, noon and dark

Can’t you feel ‘em circlin’, Sarah
As you move from town to town?
You tell fibs to the left, fibs to the right
You’re a scheming, lying clown
Oh, oh
Oh, oh
You tell fibs to the left, fibs to the right
And soon you’ll be going down

She’s saving up all of her money
Wants to head down south in May
Maybe hold out her hand to her Tea-Bagging fans
Way down Arizona way

TV money was good this season
Now it’s time to go “reload”
Endless supply of big whopping lies
“Death Panels” paved her road with gold

Can’t you feel ‘em circlin’, Sarah
As you move from town to town?
You tell fibs to the left, fibs to the right
You’re a scheming, lying clown

(Fox News break)

Intellect that’s meager
Sarah Palin is just a dolt
She’s been on a learning diet
And that’s a Lynnrockets’ quote

She has a box just like Pandora
She spews evil cross the land
Just behind the reek from here big white teeth
She forms lies universally panned

Can’t you feel ‘em circlin’, Sarah
As you move from town to town?
She tells fibs to the left, fibs to the right
She’s a scheming, lying clown
She tells fibs to the left, fibs to the right
And Sarah Palin’s going down