Staffers Fleeing The Sinking S.S. Bachmann

Seperated at birth

Many have speculated that Republicans in Congress have planned to do what they they can to prevent the economy from improving at least until the 2012 elections. The theory is, that if the economy fails to significantly improve, the GOP can blame President Obama and Congressional Democrats and convince voters to support Republicans in November 2012. This plot was evident back in November 2010 when Republican Senate leader Mitch McConnell unabashedly admitted that, “the single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.” The GOP plan was further revealed in the very basic fact that the Republican majority House of Representatives has failed to pass a single jobs bill since taking control of that chamber in 2010. It is clear that Republicans do not care about helping the economy and the 99% of American citizens who are suffering. They care only about themselves and the next election.

Republican presidential candidate Michele Bachmann is no different. In fact, she has gone one step further and personally contributed to the nation’s unemployment problem. Bachmann has reportedly failed to pay her New Hampshire staff members for over a month, thereby causing them to quit en masse last Friday. Consequently, there are now five more people on the unemployment rolls.

Bachmann appeared dumbfounded when asked the defections. On Friday, she appeared on an Iowa radio station and said, “This is a shocking story to me, I don’t know where that came from. We have called staff in New Hampshire to find out where that came from and the staff have said that isn’t true, so I don’t know if this is just a bad story that’s being fed by a different candidate or campaign. I have no idea where this came from, but we’ve made calls and it’s certainly not true.”

Apparently Bachmann made calls to the wrong people because it is true that her staff has quit. This should not have come as a surprise to the moonbat-crazy Bachmann inasmuch as she has already suffered a string of defections since she declared her candidacy. She previously lost campaign manager Ed Rollins, deputy manager David Polyansky, pollster Ed Goeas, adviser Andy Parish and spokesperson Doug Sachtleben. Indeed, Bachmann has proven that she is surely not one of those GOP-heralded “job creators” who they are always defending.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Bette Davis Eyes” song link:


 (sung to the Kim Carnes song “Bette Davis Eyes”)

Her hair is wild and bold
Her breath smells like fries
Her hands are always cold
She’s got Michele Bachmann eyes
She’s a Tea Party pawn
And she never thinks twice
She’s running out of dough
She’s got Michele Bachmann eyes

And she’ll fleece you
She’ll displease you
With no substance, she’ll just tease you
She’s atrocious
And we knows just what it
Takes to make this ‘Ho blush
She wants to embargo seven guys
She’s got Michele Bachmann eyes

She’s out there all alone
Confused and so uptight
Don’t listen to her drone
She’s got Michele Bachmann eyes
She’s made a fumble or two
Misspoken more than twice
Staffers quit on her too
She’s got Michele Bachmann eyes

And she’ll fleece you
She’ll displease you
With no substance, she’ll just tease you
She’s atrocious
And we knows just what it
Takes to make this ‘Ho blush
She wants to embargo seven guys
She’s got Bette Davis eyes

She’ll tease you
She’ll unease you
Just to squeeze you
She’s got Michele Bachmann eyes

She’ll confuse you
And she’ll lose you
(fade to end)

Posted on October 24, 2011, in Michele Bachmann and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. No one cares about this “inside baseball” stuff. It illustrates the puerility and irrelevancy of MSM political commentary.

    • I assure you that Bachmann cares about this very much. It shows that if you are unable to pay your campaign debts, you will probably also not be prepared to handle the nation’s finances. She is toast.

      • She’s shocked, shocked I tell you – cue Claude Rains. I’m waiting for her to blame President Obama for this somehow. Sure looks like God is slamming another door shut.

  2. Shock and Awe

    Mrs. Bachmann on the rancorous departure of Ed Rollins as her campaign manager (for health reasons) and his history of sassiness towards candidates who once employed him: “I guess I should have done that Google search.”

    Rollins’ response: “Well, if I would have Googled her, I would have found out she had 6 chiefs of staff in 5 years.”

  3. Dishonest Republican Operatives

    Sadly, all of this could have been avoided. It saddens this team to see a dedicated patriot – a person so desperately needed in the White House – sequestered behind a wall of pretense, guarded by political operatives consumed by their own egos.

  4. She’s a dipshit who can’t lead or manage an organization out of a paper bag with a map and a flashlight.

    Good work on the song, lynnrockets.

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