Palin Memorial Week Continues…

Now that Sarah Palin has quit once again and her rapid fade from relevance has commenced, we thought it might be fun to memorialize her by re-posting some of our favorite Palin-centric columns and song parodies from the past. Let’s raise our collective glasses and toast the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska! Ah, Sarah, we hardly knew ye!

This is a column we originally posted way back on May 14, 2009.

PAGEANT PALS

Sarah Palin remains in the news again today and therefore she will once again be our target. The gracious Governor has now come to the defense of Miss California, Carrie Prejean, who has stirred up a world of controversey after publicly stating that she opposes gay marriage. After having telephoned the beauty queen so as to personally deliver her support, Palin now says, “The liberal onslaught of malicious attacks against Carrie Prejean for expressing her opinion is despicable. Our Constitution protects us all – not just those that agree with the far left.”

Once again, it appears that the erstwhile Palin needs a refresher course in Constitutional Law. Had she attended any one single institution of higher education for more than a month or two, she may have learned that the Constitution of “this great nation of ours” protects a person’s right to free speech from impingement by the government. In the present case, Ms. Prejean’s rights remained fully intact. At no time were her statements in any way barred or censored.

What Ms. Palin fails to understand, however, is that Prejean’s comments are not protected from criticism. The Constitution provides the same protections afforded Ms. Prejean to her critics should they decide to speak publicly about her. And indeed, those critics came well armed.

It is a fact that California Pageant officials paid for Ms. Prejean’s breast enhancement surgery in an attempt to, might we say “enhance” her chances of victory. Such an act is not an outright defiance of pageant rules, but many critics believe such surgery to be a violation of the “spirit” of the competition. They contend that if professional sports leagues ban the use of performance enhancing drugs and steroids in the spirit of maintaining a fair competition amongst athletes, the same standards should apply to a fair competition which judges physical beauty.

It is also a fact that Ms. Prejean was knowingly photographed in a semi-nude state prior to the Miss America Pageant and failed to disclose same to the officials. This transgression on the part of the contestant was in direct breach of the rules of the pageant. Once again, her critics were justified in criticizing her.

In short, Sarah Palin and Carrie Prejean have a lot in common. They both are beauty pageant runner-ups and they both fail to understand the protections granted by the Constitution of the United States of America. Ms. Prejean, however is only 19 years old and has the opportunity now to pursue a meaningful college education after which she can apply her refined knowledge in whatever vocation she chooses. Sarah Palin, on the other hand is a 46 year old grown woman who long ago chose politics and government as her vocation. It is embarrassing that she came to said vocation so ill prepared.

So, let’s have another song…

Copacabana song link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMHp9a5FwrI

COPACAVILLA

(sung to the Barry Manilow song “Copacabana”)

Her name was Sarah, She was a schoolgirl
With lots of style gel in her hair and a dress cut down to there
She used to play flute, no not the skin type
And yes she was a sportscaster, a job that she could not master
Although she was a pup, with Todd she got knocked-up
They were young and they had each other
Just a mere hiccup

At the Copa, Copacavilla
The hottest spot north of Wasilla
At the Copa, Copacavilla
Those rimless glasses made them look like asses
At the Copa…they fell in love

(Copa Copacavilla)

His name was Toddie, she liked his body
They got married one fine day, He insisted he’s not gay
They said a prayer, then she was mayor
But to add some attitude, she changed his name to the “First Dude”
Sarah then hired some crooks, and then she banned some books
There was trouble with city contracts
So they cooked the books

At the Copa, Copacavilla
The hottest spot north of Wasilla
At the Copa, Copacavilla
Handouts and kickbacks and lots of “Joe Sixpacks”
At the Copa…next it was Guv

(Copa..Copacavilla)
(Copa Copacavilla) (Copacavilla, ahh ahh ahh ahh)
(Ahh ahh ahh ahh Copa Copacavilla)
(Wasilla,  rhymes with vanilla)
(Dumbness and fashion… were always her passion)

Her name is Sarah, she is the Guv’nor
She even tried to be V.P.,  cuz she was so damn “Mavericky”
That was a pipedream for our gal, Sarah
The job was above her pay-grade. More substance in lemonade
Her inlaw getting high. Now she just hates Levi
She lost the race and she lost her mojo
Now she’s lost her mind!

At the Copa (CO), Copacavilla (Copacavilla)
The hottest spot north of Wasilla (Here)
At the Copa (CO), Copacavilla
No education. Unwed procreation
At the Copa…That’s our dear Guv

(Copa) That’s our dear Guv
Copacavilla
Copacavilla
(Fade to end)

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Posted on October 8, 2011, in Sarah Palin and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. Golden Oldies

    Palin and Beck- bless them- have teamed up to go out on the road on a “millionaire outlaw grifter forget me not defending the republic” tour. The grifter apparently “glad to be back in Missouri, and she’s hoping it will lead to big changes in Washington next election season.”

    The quitter reduced to flying commercial, succumbing to the communist vodka. Not that there’s anything wrong with that- it’s a free country!

  2. aah, strolling down memory nightmare lane is so much more pleasant now that she’s done.

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