Are You Ready For Some Wacky Tea-Baggers On Display Tonight?

What a dilemma! What to watch on the boob-tube tonight? Do we tune in to watch the first Monday Night Football games of the 2011 season or do we entertain ourselves with the sure to be hilarious CNN/Tea Party Express Republican Debate?

On the one hand we have the All-American New England Patriots with their red, white and blue uniforms and helmets adorned with either Elvis wearing a tri-cornered hat or their throwback “Pat Patriot”. By name, colors and logo alone, the Patriots are certainly America’s most patriotic football team. Indeed, the original “Tea Party” actually took place in their own backyard. Yet, on the other hand, we have a series of debate questions being submitted by intellectually challenged old white men and women who are also sure to be wearing tri-cornered hats along with George Washington and Captain America costumes!

Decisions. Decisions. Both events will take place in Florida. The Patriots game is certain to feature a bunch of players huddling together before the game in prayer as well as blessings to God every time a touchdown is scored. Simultaneously, many of the GOP debaters are also likely to repeatedly praise the Lord while denying the existence of science and evolution.

The football fans at privately owned and corporately sponsored Sun Life Stadium will whine and complain about the high price of tickets, beer and concessions. The Tea-Baggers are certain to complain about the high price of gas and the government-funded program known as Medicaid.

During the football game we are likely to be entertained by clever football fans displaying witty homemade signs about their favorite players. During the debate we are likely to be entertained by not so clever Tea-Baggers displaying hilariously misspelled homemade signs which make no sense.

During the football game we will be thrilled by the amazing athletic abilities of professional athletes. During the debate we will be confused by tongue-tied double-talking Republican presidential candidates who know no words other than “taxes”, “Ronald Reagan” and “Obamacare”.

It is truly a very difficult decision as to what to watch tonight. Each of you will have to make-up your own mind. As for me, I believe that laughter cures all ills, so I will tune-in to the comedy show known as the CNN/Tea Party Express Debate. Besides, there is a second Monday Night Football game this evening featuring the Denver Broncos and the Oakland Raiders which begins at 10:15 PM EST, long after the debate has concluded.

Who says you can’t have your cake and eat it too?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Garden Party song link:


(sung to the Ricky Nelson song “Garden Party”)

I went to a Tea Bag party hoping to make some brand new friends
But they became my enemies, those right wing racist men
When I got to the Tea Bag party, they all looked the same
That really surprised me, and no one had a brain

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Crazies there from miles around, mostly with white hair
Locals brought their shotguns, there was hatred in the air
‘n’ over in the corner, not to my surprise
Sarah Palin sportin’ thigh-high boots while she winked her eyes.

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so they can go to hell

Lot-in-dah-dah-dah, lot-in-dah-dah-dah

Told them they were so wrong, Glenn Beck is insane
Drill Baby, Drill’s stupid,  and Palin is to blame
I said Rand Paul is crazy too, best not drink his tea
Then I told them things about Michele Bachmann they would not believe

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so they can go to hell

Lot-dah-dah-dah (lot-dah-dah-dah)

Someone opened up a closet door and donned a white pointy hood
Punching his railroad ticket to Hell and just the way he should
If you’re goin’ to a Tea Bag party, I wish you a lotta luck
Bring a misspelled sign, use racist slang and drive a pick-up truck

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

Lot-dah-dah-dah (lot-dah-dah-dah)

But its all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself


Posted on September 12, 2011, in Tea Party and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. Well that’s what DVRs are for! I’ll record the debate and watch the Pats. OMG – the “descent” sign is hilarious, haven’t seen that one before…. the Tea Party’s ‘dissent into madness”…

  2. Moon over Miami

    No contest: watch All-American New England Patriots receive a hellaciously brutal -and well deserved- spanking, and not dvr teabagger debate. Have cake and eat it. Good luck to any Elvises wearing tri-cornered hats should they bump into Tony Montana outside the stadium. Cockaroaches!

    No, have not placed any wagers on the outcome of the game (wouldn’t be prudent).

  3. Love the colors and design of this post! This one is a keeper; had to print it out to go on the fridge! Thanks.

  4. Is there a way to screen out ThatAssholePerry when you DVR? I can’t even stand the thought of listening to him, let alone watching him. Eight years of Shrub will do that, you know.

  5. I love to watch the stupid tea partiers. The signs are hilarious. I love the you tube videos!

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