Rick Perry Is Now Praying For Attendees At His Failing Prayer Rally

Dear God please sell some tickets!

There is no question that Republican voters are not fired-up about their League of Unextraordinory Gentlemen (and woman) posing as candidates for the 2012 Presidential election. Can you blame them? Just look at the present contenders. Mitt (Flip-Flop) Romney; Newt Blingrich; Tim (Vanilla) Pawlenty; Rick (Man on Dog) Santorum; Michele (Pray the Gay Away) Bachmann; Jon ( I Love Obama) Huntsman; Ron (Dr. No) Paul; Herman (Convert or Kill Infidels) Cain; Gary (Who?) Johnson; Fred (Who?) Karger; Andy (Who?) Martin; Thaddeus (Who?) McCotter; Roy (Who?) Moore and Buddy (Who?) Roemer. Ouch! This group needs some new blood. But who?

Right now the consensus celebrity of the moment is Texas Governor Rick Perry. He is the soup of the day for conservative Teapublicans because of his outspoken disdain for all things Obama, his southern red-neck locale and his discriminatory “Christianity or Bust” agenda of commingling the affairs of church and state. It just might be the last of those characteristics however, which diminishes his chances of nationwide electoral success.

Perry was riding a big wave of national Republican support and then something funny happened on the way to the GOP nomination. Perry announced last month that he was organizing and sponsoring a seven-hour “Christian prayer gathering” at Houston’s Reliant Stadium this Saturday. The event is called “The Response” but non-Christians have been banned from the 71,500 seat stadium. Consequently, Perry has been facing fierce criticism from those who believe he is going too far with mixing church and state and for discriminating against Texans and Americans with alternative religious beliefs.

Perry is also facing non-interest from those with whom he shares an evangelical background. With only 2 days remaining before the event, Perry has only sold about 8,000 tickets. That is a glaring indication of a disastrous lack of enthusiasm for the potential candidate. Moreover, Perry faces even more negative publicity if, as expected, some of the more controversial speaking pastors sermon long and hard about “the homosexual agenda”. The anti-gay message has been losing steam of late not only with independents, but also with middle of the road Republicans. Additionally, any such homophobic rhetoric could be used against Perry by his opponents.

Perry’s event will be hosted by the American Family Association, a 501(c)3 organization that opposes pornography and abortion and describes homosexuality as the product of “a sinful heart.” The group’s website states:

“We believe the core goal of the homosexual movement is to abolish the traditional, Judeo-Christian view of human sexuality, marriage and family.”

The American Family Association is also classified as a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center. Rick Perry’s association with such a group is remarkable in that it is certain to reflect poorly upon him in the eyes of the national electorate. Then again, perhaps Rick Perry’s “The Response” is just his subtle way of announcing that he has no plans to seek the Republican Presidential nomination after-all.

So, here’s to you Sarah Palin. Our nation’s Tea Party Republicans turn their lonely eyes to you! Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Please remember to click on the song link below before reading the lyrics because it is so much more fun to sing along while the actual song is playing.

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpPdl0StUVs

HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY PERRY WISH-LIST

 (sung to the Frank Sinatra song “Have Yourself A Very Merry Christmas”)

Have yourself a merry Perry wish-list
Rick loves the far right
He loves you, if you are Christian, rich and white

Have yourself a merry Perry wish-list (merry Perry wish-list)
That’s if you’re not gay (that’s if you’re not gay)
If you are, then simply pray that gay away

Rick Perry loves those olden days
Church-beholden days of yore
All those blacks that were near to us
In the rear of bus for sure

Tea-Baggers will vote for Rick together
Jews are not allowed
Muslims too are barred and for that Rick is proud
So have yourself a merry Perry wish-list now

(Rick Perry loves those olden days
Church-beholden days of yore
All those blacks that were near to us
In the rear of bus for sure)

Souvenirs of us and Rick together
He’s our sacred cow
Rick is our God on earth in the here and now
So have yourself a merry Perry wish-list now

Perry wish-list
Perry wish-list

Advertisements

Posted on August 5, 2011, in Rick Perry and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. OMG

    How embarrassing! What will people think? The organizers should put out a last minute emergency call to all mormons, snake handlers, faith healers, the speaking in tongues crowd, and even those annoying Jehovah’s witnesses. Are Scientologists a little bit too much?

    Of course, attendance would be a lot higher if the loons who were expecting the world to end in May had gotten around to purchasing plane tickets. They’re now penniless and everybody knows how welcome the poor are in right-wing evangelical circles!

    • BP, I love the way you size things up.

      • Did you notice the drum kit in the glass display case? It’s the same one from the African witch-hunter (Father Muthee?) videos. Unless the drums are an exhibit on loan from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, they must be worried about them being stolen!

        Wasilla might well be the meth capital of Alaska, but stealing a drum kit from a church is a bit much!

  2. Jesus actually opposed the minimum wage: Influential pastor David Barton has made a name for himself by distorting Biblical text to support his claim that Jesus opposed the minimum wage and the capital gains tax. Barton has also argued that public school students are getting “homosexual indoctrination.”

    http://thinkprogress.org/politics/2011/08/03/280108/profile-the-outlandish-beliefs-of-rick-perrys-prayer-rally-endorsers/

  3. “Mitt (Flip-Flop) Romney; Newt Blingrich; Tim (Vanilla) Pawlenty; Rick (Man on Dog) Santorum; Michele (Pray the Gay Away) Bachmann; Jon ( I Love Obama) Huntsman; Ron (Dr. No) Paul; Herman (Convert or Kill Infidels) Cain; Gary (Who?) Johnson; Fred (Who?) Karger; Andy (Who?) Martin; Thaddeus (Who?) McCotter; Roy (Who?) Moore and Buddy (Who?) Roemer. Ouch! This group needs some new blood. But who?”

    May I suggest one of those vampire movie actors? They would be an improvement blood sucker over these GOP blood-sucking leeches.

    Looking forward to the Perry self implosion. Thanks for the soundtrack to it, lynnrockets.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: