Daily Archives: July 21, 2011

Bachmann’s Migraines Are Now A Headache To Her Campaign

As we have said so many times in the past here at Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off, there is nothing more entertaining than watching Republicans eat their own. It would appear that the lovey-dovey atmosphere and unified comraderie of the GOP primary season has come to an abrupt halt. Only a month ago  a bunch of these presidential wannabes appeared at the first Republican debate and engaged in a big group hug while bashing President Obama. It seemed as if each of the candidates would have been perfectly happy to have anyone of his/her opponents win the nomination. Not anymore. That was then, this is now. The gloves are now officially off as the lackluster cast of candidates are taking pot-shots at each other.

The first unqualified candidate at the bottom of the pig pile is Michele Bachmann. Perhaps that is appropriate inasmuch as she is by far, the moonbat craziest and the weakest link in the bunch. She has absolutely no grasp of American history as proven by her statements that “the shot heard round the world” was fired from New Hampshire and that our founding fathers “fought tirelessly to end slavery.” She denies science as illustrated by her statements that global climate change “is a hoax” and “Hundreds and hundreds” of Nobel Prize winning scientists “believe in intelligent design” and not in the theory of evolution. And she is completely homophobic as revealed by her statement that judges tell children that they “must learn that homosexuality is normal and you should try it” and that homosexuals “are part of Satan.” Let’s face it, Michele Bachmann is nuts and her GOP opponents know it.

The first blow directed at Bachmann was from the relatively unknown former pizza shop owner, Herman Cain. When asked why voters should choose him over Bachmann last week on “Fox News Sunday”, he said

“The choice is real simple. My entire career has been problem-solving, not politics.”

This week it was revealed that the Tea Party-backed Bachmann frequently suffers from severe migraine headaches that have at least three times landed her in the hospital. The Daily Caller reported that Bachmann “suffers from stress-induced medical episodes that she has characterized as severe headaches.” It did not take long for that revelation to be used against her by another member of the GOP.

CNN reports that on the very same day that Bachmann released a doctor’s letter detailing her treatment for migraines, former Minnesota Gov. and current Presidential candidate, Tim Pawlenty took a not-so-veiled swipe at his 2012 presidential campaign rival. He refused to comment directly as to whether he believed that Bachmann’s medical condition would impede her ability to perform the duties of the Presidency. He said he would “defer to the judgment of the medical professionals.” However, Pawlenty did say

“The candidates are going to have to be able to demonstrate they can do all of the job, all of the time.”

That statement was a clear implication that he questions whether Bachmann’s migraines will prevent her from being at the top of her game all of the time as the office requires.

Who will be the next Republican candidate to attack Bachmann? Probably not Mitt Romney. The former Massachusetts Gov. and current GOP Presidential candidate actually came to Bachmann’s defense. Yeaterday he said, “There’s no question in my mind that Michele Bachmann’s health is in no way an impediment to her being able to serve as president.” But this is Mitt Romney we are talking about. The monumental flip-flopper has changed his position on so many issues so many times, that he is very likely to change his mind tomorrow and declare that Bachmann is medically unfit for the office.

All we can do in the meantime, is sit back and wait for the next punch to be thrown. The anticipation is sure to be mounting.

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Michele song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKvee-w0uBc

MICHELE

(Sung to the Beatles song “Michele”)

Michele, from Hell
These are words that go together well,
Weird Michelle.

Michele, do tell,
Do you even possess one brain cell
One tiny cell?

Just shut up, just shut up, just shut up
You have nothing to say
Would you just go away
And crawl back under that rock from whence you
Ca-ame yesterday.

Michele, Oh well,
You’ve been put under a right-wing spell
A sure death knell

On Fox News, on Fox News, on Fox News
That’s where you’ll always be
Republican TV
With Hannity and O’Reilly
And Coulter, the queen

We mock you…

We want you, we want you, we want you,
To leave the air-waves now
And lose your job somehow
Until you do we’re telling you so
You’ll understand.

Michele, farewell
Take with you that foul sulfuric smell
Sulfuric smell.

We will say the only words we know that
You’ll understand, “Go to Hell.”

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