Daily Archives: July 16, 2011

Palin’s “Undefeated” Suffers Crushing Defeat

Sarah Palin’s attempt at marketing herself by means of a theatrical film is egocentric at best  and flat-out comical at worst. Palin, the greatest self-promoting narcissist this side of Donald Trump and P.T. Barnum commissioned  a conservative filmmaker to make a $1 million feature-length motion picture about her. Real Clear Politics reports that she hired some unknown by the name of Stephen K. Bannon to produce, film and market the ego-stroking movie titled “The Undefeated”  The film is about Palin’s political career up to the point of her disastrous run for the vice presidency in 2008 in which she (and John McCain) were soundly defeated. Inasmuch as Palin was also defeated in the 2002 election for Alaska’s lieutenant-governor, the film’s title appears to be rather misleading.

In “The Undefeated”, Bannon’s (and Palin’s) goal is, as Real Clear Politcs puts it, “to help catapult Palin from the presidential afterthought she has become in the eyes of many pundits directly to the front lines of the 2012 GOP conversation.” That website also reports that although Palin is not interviewed directly, the film features on-camera interviews and commentaries from 10 Alaskans who played different roles in her political rise, as well as six Lower 48 denizens who defend her in more visceral terms, including prominent conservative firebrands Mark Levin, Andrew Breitbart and Tammy Bruce. How is that for a trio of radical propagandists? The film extols every one of Palin’s minor successes but fails to even make mention of the less flattering topics, such as the Troopergate saga — which had little effect on the VP campaign but left a lastingly negative impression of Palin in the eyes of many Alaskans — and her unimpressive series of interviews with Katie Couric. But really, would you expect anything different from Palin? She does not take criticism well and always portrays herself as a victim.

One major obstacle to the film’s goal of re-booting the Palin image however, is that next to nobody will ever actually view the film. The movie opened yesterday, but distributors put the film in just 10 AMC theaters nationwide, mostly in reliably conservative markets like Dallas, Texas and Orange County in southern California. Adding insult to injury, it does not appear that even those hand-picked theatres can attract an audience. For instance, Conor Friedersdorf of The Atlantic reports that only he and two other patrons attended the opening screening at the Orange County, CA theatre (and the other two folks left after only 20 minutes). Friedersdorf reports that after the movie concluded,

“I found a theater manager, told him I was a reporter, and asked if he could give me numbers about ticket sales. ‘Did anyone pay and not show up?’ He said that they’d sold out all the Harry Potter movies until 2 a.m., and that all 5,000 seats looked full. ‘No,’ I said, ‘I saw the Sarah Palin movie. Do you know the figures for that one?.’ ‘Oh,’ he said, ‘I can’t release sales figures.’”

Yikes. now we know that more people will show-up to view a car accident scene than to watch a film about Palin. It is evident that the former ex-quitting half-term Alaskan Governor’s 15 minutes of fame are over. She has been replaced in the category of moon-bat crazy female Teapublican whacko by Minnesota’s Michele Bachmann. So what does the future hold for Caribou Barbie? Lynnrockets‘ guess is another reality television series.

Perhaps it will be titled, “The Really Biggest Loser”!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

TURN THE PAGE

(sung to the Bob Seger song “Turn The Page”)

On a long and lonesome highway
East of Wasilla
Do we even need to mention
Palin travels with her throng
She’s a winkin’ blinkin’ woman
Who dresses like a sidewalk whore

The big country she is wandering
On book-tour number two
Sarah’s signing books for hours
And she’s counting all her loot
Still, her poll numbers are slidin’
And there’s not much she can do

Hey, Palin’s sham
On the road again
Book tour scam
All of it staged
Takin’ dough
Near and far again
There she goes
Turn the page

Sarah slithers in a Border’s Books
And she mounts her throne
Her supporters in a long queue
They’re donating all they own
They consider it loyalty dues
Tribute  their queen is owed

Most times when you hear her talk
You can’t understand
All those nonsense clichés
Formed in Palin-Land
For those blatant gaffes and blunders
She earns one-hundred grand

Palin’s sham
On the road again
Book tour scam
All of it staged
Takin’ dough
Near and far again
There she goes
Turn the page

Palin loves the spotlight
Maybe more than Tina Fey
Despite all of her energy
Her fame will fade away
She will become a nobody
Just a slice of yesterday

Sarah’s selfish scheming
And the hate-speak that she spreads
Along with all of those blatant liars,
Fox News talking heads
The Tea Party’s new Penthouse Pet
Sounds like “Uncle Jed”

Ah, Palin’s sham
On the road again
Book tour scam
All of it staged
Takin’ dough
Near and far again
There she goes
Turn the page
Ya, Palin’s sham
On the road again
Book tour scam
All of it staged
Takin’ dough
Near and far again
There she goes
There she goes

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