Palin (Like Trump) Is A Presidential Poser

And then there was one. Inasmuch as candidate-imposters and Fox News employees Donald “Birther” Trump and Mike Huckabee(Hound) have finally made it official and dropped out of the quest for the 2012 GOP presidential nomination, that leaves only one more pretender in the mix. Sarah Palin (also a Fox News employee), continues to hint that she might seek the Republican nomination. She is a guest for hire on nearly every Fox program whereon she will not answer the question directly, but continues to insist that she has what it takes to be Commander in Chief.

Do not believe her. Like Huckabee and Trump, Sarah Palin is much more interested in simply using the presidential ploy as a means to promote the Palin product. The former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska is well aware of the fact that she will become irrelevant the moment the American people (and tabloid magazines) know that she will not be a candidate. Consequently, she continues the charade for as long as possible with the singular goal of selling more books and landing more television gigs in her quest for celebrity status and the almighty dollar. Sarah Palin does not care about the nation, she cares only about herself. She is a prime example of a narcissist.

It is obvious to the casual observer that Sarah Palin is not qualified to be the President of the United States. Not only did she up and quit her last executive position when things got tough after serving only two years (see, ethics complaints), but since then she has demonstrated that she has a dangerous hair-trigger demeanor. Whenever she is critiqued in a newspaper or magazine, Palin instinctively counter-attacks before the ink has dried by means of the sophomoric mediums of Facebook or Twitter. Whenever an international conflict makes the news, Palin calls for an immediate knee-jerk US military response. Whenever a member of the Obama administration advocates anything (including such things as the promotion of healthy eating), Palin opposes it regardless of merit. Simply stated, Sarah Palin lacks the ability to engage in the process of well thought-out and sober decision-making.

Nonetheless, Palin continues to promote herself as a viable candidate. She appeared with BFF Greta Van Susteren (where else but on Fox News) the other night and was asked if she will run. Palin’s response?

“I think my problem is that I do have the fire in my belly. I am so adamantly supportive of the good, traditional things about America and our free enterprise system and I want to make sure that America is put back on the right track and we only do that by defeating Obama in 2012. I have that fire in my belly.”

She went on to say that what’s holding her back are “practical, pragmatic decisions” including “sacrifices that have to be made on my children’s part… but yeah, the fire in the belly, it’s there. That’s kind of my problem is that it’s such a roaring fire in my belly to preserve and restore all that’s good about America that I struggle with that every single day.”

You see, she keeps the dream alive while simultaneously providing an excuse for her inevitable announcement that she will not throw her hat in the ring. it is interesting that Sarah Palin says that she is concerned about the sacrifices that would have to be made on her children’s part if she chooses to enter the race. She did not appear to be too concerned about that back in 2008 when she elected to be on the Republican ticket before discussing the issue with her children.

Sarah Palin has about 30 seconds left of those famous 15 minutes.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

American Pie song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAsV5-Hv-7U

ALASKAN PIE

(sung to the Don McLean song “American Pie”)

A long, long time ago…
I can still remember
Palin’s slutty flight attendant style
And when she blew her only chance
With John McCain in the Big Dance
In light of the pregnancy of her child

In February she did shiver
When Levi sold her down the river
Bad news at her doorstep
She didn’t have no more pep

The allegations she denied
Of all those gifts that she did hide
She took Alaskans for a ride
As she cajoled and lied

So bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Did you quit the job you love
After talking with God up above?
Did the good Lord tell you so?
Are you still pals with Plumber Joe?
Do dead fish still “go with the flow”?
And can Todd’s sister score me some good blow?

Well you know that your prospects are grim
’cause you’re way way out there on a limb
You’re sure to have the blues
Man, you screwed up those interviews

You’re just a lonely mid-aged “hockey mom”
With real deep frustration and a man that’s dumb
You’re just a third rate school alum
Today your future died

We started singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Now for two years all you did was drone
Remember Sarkozy on the phone?
But just what will your future be?
Will you pester us like a has-been queen?
Will you pout and whine like a spoiled teen?
In a voice that sounds so shrill and mean,

Oh, and when you leave Wasilla town
Take along your beauty pageant crown
And bridges that you burned
Oh, please never return
And those hits you took will leave some marks
A “Barracuda” is no shark
And you were always in the dark
Today your future died

We were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Helter skelter you are sure to swelter
The ice in your veins may even melt-ah
Ethics problems coming fast
You’re landing hard on your ass
No throwing stones in a house of glass
When you’re starring in a demon cleansing mass

Now your thinning hair reeks with perfume
You’re a spaceman cuz you see the moon
Your fans would shout and dance
Oh, to your “drill baby drill” chants!
Katie Couric made you squirm and squeal
And that was when your fate was sealed
Do you recall what was revealed
The day your future died?

We started singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Oh, and then that look upon your face
Not knowing a Supreme Court case
Forget about the Bush Doctrine
So come on: jack be nimble, jack be quick
Sarah Palin’s no “Maverick”
Cuz she’s just a “Barbie” to Todd’s “Ken”

As we watched you on that debate stage
Your hands were clenched in fists of rage
Everyone then could tell
You were praying for the bell
And as you hoped that you could land a right,
To salvage something of the night
We saw Biden laughing with delight
That day your future died

Joe was singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

Palin’s a girl who has the blues
And she cannot handle interviews
She quit her job and walked away
She could not take it any more
She hightailed it right out the door
Just like a scared child, she up and ran away

And in the streets the voters beamed,
The good Lord had fulfilled their dreams
Sherry Johnston was tokin’
The “barracuda” broken
We did not really want to boast
But “Mama Bear” was finally toast
She’ll write about it through her ghost
That day her future died.

And we were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

We were singing
Bye-bye Miss Alaska bye-bye
You were shady and darn lazy
With a crazy beehive
And your background boys were making turkey head pie
Then you quit on the third day of July
Quit on the third day of July

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Posted on May 20, 2011, in Fox News, Greta Van Susteren, Sarah Palin and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. Great lyrics, once again! Fire in the belly? The only fire she has is to keep duping her cult to give her money. Fox will have to end her contract like they did with Huckabee, and I can’t see her saying good bye to such easy money. All she has to do is appear on Hannity or Greta and screech her crap for a couple of minutes and cha-ching. Fire in the belly, my ass.

  2. That fire in the belly must be another one of her fake pregnancies.

  3. Bellyaching

    Considering that Gingrich and Santorum were ‘suspended’ at Fox ages ago because they really were actually running, Palin should consider herself lucky to have anyone at all still curious about her intentions.

    And what about the nightmare scenario of Mama Grifter attaching herself to the eventual GOP presidential candidate and stealing all the thunder with an avalanche of inane, moronic tweets?

  4. Is that the Bubble Balloon Big Boobs Barbie version of the Oval Office? This phone screen’s a little small for me to tell. The bubble where her brain is, I’ve known about since watching her introduction by McCain in Ohio in 8/2008.

  5. Needs “moar” dead animal skulls. Maybe her dad can help.

  6. Fire in the belly huh…sure Ms Quittypants hasn’t been pallin’ around with Schwarzenegger?

  7. If I were Sarah, I’d be more concerned about the mush where my brains should be than whatever she thinks may be in her belly this year.

  8. Soon to be extinguished.

    This makes me very, very, happy!

    BUT! It really pisses me off that she got this far in the public eye. A wannabe runway dreamer, that got this much attention is nothing for this country to be proud of.

    I’m ashamed really!

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