Michele Bachmann To Join The Republican Candidates’ Insane Clown Posse

Has there ever been a better example of addition through subtraction? Think about this for a moment. In just the last few weeks a bunch of potential Republican presidential candidates have chickened-out at the thought of opposing President Barack Obama in the 2012 election. Haley “Boss Hog” Barbour, Mike Huckabee(Hound) and Donald “Birther” Trump realized that they had no chance of beating the incumbent and so they wisely ran away with their tails between their legs.

In their absence however, arose wacky Michele Bachmann. The Teapublican Rep. from Minnesota brings more crazy to the table than all three of the aforementioned quitters combined. Luckily for those of us in the audience, it appears more likely that she will run for the presidency. CBS News reports that Michele Bachmann’s insiders say they expect her to get into the presidential race in June–and that Mike Huckabee’s decision not to run created a significant opening for her.

“Michele has been receiving an outpouring of encouragement to run for president–increased phone calls and online messaging,” said a senior adviser. “I can now say it is very likely she will decide to run for president.”

If you have not yet been convinced that Michele Bachmann is kookoo for cocoa puffs, just take a look at some of her more memorable quotes as compiled by The Huffington Post:

  • And what a bizarre time we’re in, when a judge will say to little children that you can’t say the pledge of allegiance, but you must learn that homosexuality is normal and you should try it.”
  • “I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out: Are they pro-America or anti-America?”
  • “There are hundreds and hundreds of scientists, many of them holding Nobel Prizes, who believe in intelligent design.”
  • “I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out then under another Democrat president Jimmy Carter. And I’m not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it’s an interesting coincidence.”
  • [Gay marriage] is probably the biggest issue that will impact our state and our nation in the last, at least, thirty years. I am not understating that.”
  • “Normalization [of gayness] through desensitization. Very effective way to do this with a bunch of second graders is take a picture of ‘The Lion King’ for instance, and a teacher might say, ‘Do you know that the music for this movie was written by a gay man?’ The message is: ‘I’m better at what I do, because I’m gay.'”
  • “But we also know that the very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States.”
  • “It is a brand new, billion-dollar high speed train that is going to go from Disneyland up to Las Vegas…Harry Reid, the Senator from Nevada, was behind this measure, and it makes us wonder, is he more interested in making sure kids start gambling at younger ages?”
  • “The President of the United States will be taking a trip over to India that is expected to cost the taxpayers $200 million a day.”

What in the wide, wide world of nonsense is this crackpot talking about? Michele Bachmann could no doubt give Sarah Palin a run for her money in an insanity contest. Her decision to take-on President Obama when more serious contenders have elected to stand on the sidelines is pure folly. You see, the dropouts are smarter than Bachmann. Bill Press of TheHill.com put it best when he said,

“They know the economy’s coming back, under Obamanomics.

They know millions and millions of Americans, who could never afford it before, now have health insurance, under ObamaCare.

They know Obama created 1.3 million new jobs in 2010 alone — more than George W. Bush created in eight years. And that April 2011 was the third straight month where new job growth exceeded 200,000.

And they know gas prices are coming down.

In other words, they know that, for any Republican, running against Barack Obama is a losing proposition. And they wanted no part of it.”

In other words, those dropouts already know what Michele Bachmann will soon learn.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Flintstones television theme song link: http://www.televisiontunes.com/Flintstones.html

BACHMANN

(sung to the television theme song “The Flinstones”)

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
A Congresswoman that is bat crazy
She and Sarah Palin
Driving voters from the G.O.P.

She can’t form a sentence that’s complete
Now she’s targeted for big defeat

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
Hates Blacks, children and those that are gay
She is clearly brain dead
Can’t seem to get out of her own way

She talks right through the rain, snow and sleet
Every single thought is incomplete

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Exposed during prime time

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Posted on May 18, 2011, in Michele Bachmann, Songs and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 19 Comments.

  1. This shows the GOP for what it truly is. Thanks so much, Limbaugh, for his contribution to the crazy modern GOP. They couldn’t have gone off the deep end with out him. Hope the drugs were good.

  2. A Servant’s Heart

    Palin said she was “tempted” to run because she was “wondering who the heck is going to be out there with a servant’s heart — willing to serve the American people for the right reason.” i.e. gutting Medicare to pay for tax cuts for the Koch Brothers and tax incentives for Big Oil.

    With Huckabee graduating to bigger and better things, it makes sense for Bachmann to make a move on his voting bloc. All she really needs is a good showing in Iowa, and with some face time on Bill-O’s tv show (he really, really likes her) she could easily come away from this with a couple of best selling books!

  3. molly malone

    In the absence of any actual positive accomplishments to point to–having proven themselves to be neither fiscally responsible nor good at national security or much of anything else pertaining to governance–there’s really nothing left for Republicans to run on aside from outrageous lies and lunacy.

    And that’s where the Republican Party lost me for good.

    • “In the absence of any actual positive accomplishments to point to–having proven themselves to be neither fiscally responsible nor good at national security or much of anything else pertaining to governance–there’s really nothing left for Republicans to” do except…re-elect Obama. He is the personification of all of these negatives!

  4. Just a matter of time:

    “Say what you will about Newt Gingrich, it’s refreshing to see a politician fucking himself for a change.” Mr Borowitz of the Borowitz Report

  5. Indeed, Michele Bachmann hates children (cf the Flintstones parody song, above). She and her husband have taken in 23 foster children through the years. That’s disdain for you.

  6. From Michele Bachmann–“I’m 55 years old. I’ve been married 33 years,” she said on Fox News Sunday. “I’m not only a lawyer, I have a post-doctorate degree in federal tax law from William and Mary. I’ve worked in serious scholarship … my husband and I have raised five kids, we’ve raised 23 foster children. We’ve applied ourselves to education reform. We started a charter school for at-risk kids. I’ve also been a state senator and member of the United States Congress for five years.”

    Doesn’t sound dumb, crazy or evil to me! But, maybe those of you slamming her have your post doctoral degrees too?

    Same old democratic tactics—slam your opposition to divert attention away from your shortcomings and failures. America is not falling for your crap this election.

    • Many of us Democrats also have multiple degrees yet somehow manage to communicate our ideas without sounding as much like an idiot as Bachmann. Honestly, would a sane person say this? “And what a bizarre time we’re in, when a judge will say to little children that you can’t say the pledge of allegiance, but you must learn that homosexuality is normal and you should try it.”

  7. At least Michele doesn’t need a teleprompter in front of her at all times. I also have multiple degrees, including a doctoral one. As educated as some of us are, if we were constantly in front of cameras, I am sure we would sometimes make statements that may not be as grammatically correct as we would like. I would like to hear what Obama’s plan is for fixing the economy. I want to hear how we are going to create jobs and handle the health care crisis once we start getting the bill for Obamacare. I want to hear how we are going to compete with the global market, which means we either have to start taxing goods coming from other countries in a reasonable manner OR we need to get the union wages under control. I have yet to hear how Obama plans to tackle these issues. All I hear is more “blame Bush” tactics, which is ridiculous to keep hearing about 4 years later. When will the dems admit that their strategy hasn’t worked???

    • All presidents have used a teleprompter since it has been around. I found it to be humorous just how stupid George W. Bush sounded even while using the teleprompter. Maybe he just couldn’t read. Perhaps you didn’t notice however, that Obama had no teleprompter to rely upon during his numerous debates and televised interviews in which he sounded nothing but cerebral. Bachmann on the contrary, does not just sound stupid, but says absolutely stupid things like ““There are hundreds and hundreds of scientists, many of them holding Nobel Prizes, who believe in intelligent design.” No, there are not many Nobel prize winning scientists who believe in intelligent design.

      You have been witnessing Obama’s plan for fixing the economy. While you were sleeping, the economy has added jobs for 17 consecutive months after losing jobs for 13 consecutive months under Bush. The automotive industry reorganization dealt successfully with union wages and saved an entire industry as well as 3 million jobs associated therewith, all while being nearly entirely repaid. TARP 1 and 2 prevented a worldwide economic collapse all while being virtually entirely paid back with interest. The CBO projects that our new health care law will save billions in 10 years as compared to the health care fiasco of a system which had been in place. Finally, by merely restoring taxes for the wealthy to what they were during the Clinton administration as well as surgical cutting of certain programs and waste, the deficit can be dealt with. Even Ronald Reagan realized that tax increases are required to save an economy as he raised taxes in 7 of his 8 years in office.

      • Yes, Obama sounded extremely “cerebral” when he claimed there are 57 states. Obama has also made many other statements displaying his lack of knowledge of the US and US history.

        Since my degrees are in science, I can tell you that it astounds me how “the cerebral” pseudo-elite would rather blindly accept that we evolved from one-celled organisms as opposed to that we may have been created by some type of higher being. When you actually learn about the intricacities of the human body, down to the cellular level, you realize just how silly it is to assume that everything has come from the evolutionary process, over billions of years from a “big bang”. A “big bang” that doesn’t explain how there was something there prior to it. It takes way more faith to believe in Darwin’s theories than intelligent design, believe me. But, it is the arrogance of science and scientists, so I am not surprised.

        About our economy improving “while we were sleeping”, I think YOU have been sleeping. Go walk around the streets, go talk to people. People are suffering. People are starving. People are scared. You are basing your numbers on statistics, and we all know that statistics lie and can be skewed to support almost anything the rater wants to prove. I would rather base my opinions on what I see and hear as opposed to what I am being spoon-fed by a strongly left-leaning media. I know that I see a country that it is in disarray, and frankly, it scares me.

  8. No woman, gay person, Latino or Black person is allowed to be anything but liberal… or they are slandered, lied about, falsely accused, embarrassed, menaced, ridiculed, and met with the most nasty and uncivil human behavior from what were seemingly decent people. And now, prove me correct, as usual, with your baseless “facts” and your just plain MEANNESS. What would your grandmother or someone of her ilk think of your behavior? How about your employer?.

    • Dave, please point out my “baseless facts”. It is difficult for me to respond to you if I do not know precisely what you are talking about. FWI, both of my grandmothers were Irish immigrants that subscribed to the policies of the Democratic Party and I think both of them (God bless their souls in Heaven) loved me very much. As for my employer, please be advised that I am self-employed and have been for over 20 years.

  9. Melinda, no matter how you attempt to spin things, you must admit that Bachmann’s repeated gaffes regarding American history and her numerous outrageous quotes which have been deemed “pants on fire” lies by fact checking organizations put her in a class with only Sarah Palin. I am sure that even you believe that Obama knows there are 50 states and that was a simple mistake of speaking. Bachmann however, really does not appear to know the true facts when she says things like “the founding fathers worked tirelessly until slavery was no more” or “The President of the United States will be taking a trip over to India that is expected to cost the taxpayers $200 million a day.” Those are just plain wrong, yet there is no reason to believe that Bachmann knows that. Furthermore, there are not hundreds of Nobel Prize winning scientists that believe in intelligent design. That is a just a blatant fabrication on Bachmann’s part.

    Also, the economy is improving. Not quickly, but it is improving. That is an undeniable fact. We suffered 13 straight months of job losses under George W. Bush and we have now had 18 straight months of job gains (2 million new jobs in the private sector) since Obama has taken office. The DOW is soaring and the bank bailout funds not only stopped a world financial collapse, but the money has been virtually repaid to the taxpayers with interest. We are headed in a positive direction and not backwards as we were under Bush.

  10. You are so retarded! You are the racist!

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