Beck Bounced By Beleaguered Boss

Last month’s New York Times report that moonbat-crazy Glenn Beck may be told to pack up his things and leave Fox News-Ville in December when his contract with the network expires has proven to be true. Fox News announced on Wednesday that Glenn Beck’s nightly Teapublican propaganda show will be terminated before year’s end. The break-up allegedly came after months of infighting between Beck and the network. The straw that broke the camel’s back however, was most likely the fact that virtually all of the program’s sponsors fled along with their advertising revenue and Beck’s ratings have plummeted by approximately 40%. What show could withstand that type of double-whammy?

During its run, Beck’s show focused primarily on criticizing President Barack Obama. It is interesting to note that the program debuted on Fox News the day before President Obama took office It is also ironic to note that Obama will retain his position at the very least through 2012 while Beck will be long gone from Fox. That alone shows that Beck’s program was a massive “Mission Unaccomplished”. In fact, Glenn Beck’s steady fall from grace began in 2009 when he proclaimed that President Barack Obama has a “deep-seated hatred for white people”. That remark caused such a public backlash that over 300 advertisers pulled their commercials from his program.

Soon thereafter, Beck began to describe wacky conspiracies involving socialists, communists, leftists and Muslims all joining forces to infiltrate the Obama administration and then take down the world. Honestly, even Austin Powers’ arch enemy, the sinister Dr. Evil, could not come up with something that devilish. It appeared that he was having a mental breakdown on a nightly basis before our very eyes. He was reduced to tears more often than John Boehner. His television stage-set resembled the hidden-away attic classroom of an addle-minded tenured professor who has been reduced to spewing unintelligible gibberish and writing inane code on a blackboard in front of which there are no longer any sane students. His conspiracy theories were so wildly imaginative and unrealistic that even the other Fox hosts such as Bill O’Reilly and Sean Hannity steered well clear of all things Beckian. Simply stated, Glenn Beck had become a raving lunatic and a liability to Fox News.

Fox executives should have realized that Beck spelled trouble from the very beginning. He has no formal education or work experience in the world of politics. Glenn Beck’s college career consisted of ONE COURSE, not one semester mind you, but one course. His radio background consisted of merely a bunch of shock-jock jobs with a number of different stations. Add to that his history of alcohol and drug abuse, and you have a recipe for some kind of on-air nervous breakdown. That is exactly what we and Beck’s bosses seem to have been witnessing of late.

Don’t believe me? Watch this:

Beck delivered his own on-air epithet Wednesday night. It was a strange and rambling diatribe in which he compared himself to Paul Revere and quoted “Macbeth”. He said,

“When I took this job I didn’t take it because it was going to be a career for me. Paul Revere did not get up on the horse and say, ‘I’m going to do this for the rest of my life.  He didn’t do it. He got off the horse at some point and fought in the revolution, and then he went back to silversmithing.”

He then went on to say,

“If I could prove my case that something wicked this way was coming, something in America was wrong, America would listen, and they have. I will continue to tell the story. Stick together. I’m going to be showing you other ways for us to connect. But I have other things to do.”

Thankfully for most sane Americans, Glenn Beck will not be showing us things and doing things on one of the largest cable networks in the nation for much longer. Ah Glenn, we hardly knew ye!

Please take at a look at my WRKO Boston talk radio-based blog also, too. It can be found here: Kevin’s Blog-A Liberal Dose of Reality.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Last Train To Clarksville song link:


(sung to the Monkees song “Last Train To Clarksville”)

Take the last train to Nutsville
Beck will meet you at the station
You can be there by four-thirty
Cuz Fox made your reservation
The Beck Show, oh, no, no, no!
Oh, no, no, no!

Glenn lost his mind without warning
And it won’t be back again
Glenn Beck’s facing stormy weather
And it’s causing quite a strain
So, he must go, oh, no, no, no!
Oh, no, no, no

He might have a lobotomy on his dome.

Take the last train to Nutsville
Glenn Beck is their famous patient
If he’s not crying he’ll blow some kisses
But don’t attempt conversation
Oh… oh, no, no, no!
Oh, no, no, no!

(conspiracy theory break)

Take the last train to Nutsville
That’s where Glenn Beck now calls home
We can’t hear him making noisy
Conversation all alone
He’s feelin’ low. Oh, no, no, no!
Oh, no, no, no!

And I don’t think that Glenn finds another home.

(break with reality)

Take the last train to Nutsville
Beck will meet you at the station
He will look ragged and dirty
And in need of medication
Beck must go, oh, no, no, no!
Oh, no, no, no!

And I don’t think that Glenn finds another home.

Take the last train to Nutsville
Take the last train to Nutsville
(repeat and fade)


Posted on April 8, 2011, in Fox News, Glenn Beck, Songs and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. Any ‘other ways’ he will show people to connect will come with a price tag, proceeds going to Beck of course. Jon Stewart’s latest Glen Beck parody aired last night

    • Thanks for that hilarious but, oh so true clip!

      • Love the part when he supposedly refutes “What the mainstream media and professors and facts and evidence would like you to think:”

        ‘Maybe Fox News thought it would be useful to pick some random talk radio host rehashing the same tired old John Birch society conspiracy theories to seed ultra conservative viewpoints into the news cycle while making the rest of the network seem centrist in comparison but then he began to believe his own messianic delusions and became a giant pain in the ass so they dropped his ass!’

        Jon Stewart nails it as usual.

  2. Hope there is a mental institution with a straight jacket with his name on it. Nice work on the song. Now let’s hope Fact Nutsville cleans up the rest of its act. It certainly doesn’t qualify for news.

  3. The Caliphate Strikes Back

    Only in his hometown and in his own house is a prophet without honor?
    Was Beck’s audience (literally) dying off?
    Or was his show just a big crashing bore?

  4. Glenn Beck Moves to Sci Fi Channel

    NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – Landing on his feet just hours after his program was dropped by Fox News Channel, controversial host Glenn Beck announced today that he had just inked a new contract to join the cable network Syfy, formerly known as the Sci Fi Channel.

    Mr. Beck said that his program was “a perfect fit” for a schedule of programming packed with aliens, paranoid conspiracy theories and alternative universes.

    Mr. Beck said that his new deal would run “until 2012 or the end of the world, whichever comes sooner,” and that he would be paid in gold bouillon and ammo.

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