Monthly Archives: March 2011

Serial Philanderer Newt Gingrich Defends Philandering

Disgraced former Republican House Speaker Newt Gingrich was interviewed on air by Boston radio host Howie Carr of WRKO AM on Monday. During the interview Gingrich was asked how his marital infidelity might affect a potential bid for the White House. His response?

“I expect my opponents to go back 15, 20, 25 years and try to render an alternate judgment I understand that’s what they’ll do. I’m not blaming my life on anyone, and I’m not offering excuses. I’ve made no bones about the fact there were times I did the wrong thing, and I’ve made no bones about the fact that I’ve asked for forgiveness. I think most Americans are fair, and I think most Americans will look at the totality of my life.”

Gingrich, of course, is a serial philanderer. He has been married three times so far. In 1962, he married Jackie Battley, his former high school geometry teacher. In the spring of 1980, Gingrich left Battley after having an affair with Marianne Ginther. According to Battley, Gingrich visited her while she was in the hospital recovering from cancer surgery to discuss divorce. Six months after the divorce was final, Gingrich wed Marianne Ginther in 1981. In the mid-1990s, Gingrich began an affair with House of Representatives staffer Callista Bisek, who is 23 years his junior. They continued their affair during the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal, when Gingrich was a leader of the Republican investigation of President Clinton for perjury in connection with his alleged affairs with Paula Jones and Monica Lewinsky. In 2000, Gingrich married Bisek shortly after his divorce from second wife Ginther. He and Callista currently live in McLean, Virginia.

Lynnrockets believes that Newt Gingrich is in for some serious John Edwards treatment should he decide to run for President. He deserves it too!

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Grinch That Stole Christmas song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzXKWKaxt3c

YOU’RE A HAS-BEEN, NEWT GINGRICH

(sung to the Dr. Seuss song “The Grinch That Stole Christmas”)

You’re a has-been, Newt Gingrich
You’re lacking in appeal
Your were ousted as The Speaker
No one wants to hear you squeal
Newt Gingrich

You’re a unicycle
Without even one wheel

You’ve had three wives, Newt Gingrich
A mistress in the hole
Philandering’s your day job
You’re a slimy ugly troll
Newt Gingich

These woman that like you, must
Be on work-release or parole

You’re a vile one, Newt Gingrich
Your words reek with rancid bile
Your criticizing ol’ Bill Clinton
As you’re cheating all the while
Newt Gingrich

There couldn’t be a bigger hypocrite
Within a Midwest country mile

You’re a foul one, Newt Gingrich
Your first divorce smelled of skunk
Your wife, Jackie fighting cancer
You told her she was junk
Newt Gingrich

The nicest words to describe you,
Are, as follows, and I quote, Pink. Wank, Punk

You’re a coward, Newt Gingrich
Avoided your army spot
Deferment-seeking chicken-hawk
That likes to talk real tough
Newt Gingrich

Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing
With the most disgraceful assortment of Republican
Sound-bytes imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots

You’re the racist, Newt Gingrich
It’s not Judge Sotomayor
You play the race card as a white guy
That’s so laughable I’m sure
Newt Gingrich

You’re a stinking pile of vomit
Sitting in the sun
With feces on top

New Hampshire Republican Deems Sarah Palin To Be Unelectable

Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off maintains that the best gift President Barack Obama and the Democratic Party could receive in the next number of months is the announcement of a Sarah Palin campaign for the presidency. Every single recent national poll reveals that she would be squashed by Obama in a head-to-head match-up. Each of those polls shows her trailing the President by double digits. Those polls also show that most Republican voters believe she is unqualified for the office and they will vote for someone else. These polls expose the fact that although Palin has a rabidly loyal base, that group is a minority even within the Republican Party while most conservatives view her as unelectable.

It is not only the conservative/Republican electorate that deems the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska to be unelectable, but also a growing number of Republican Party insiders and conservative pundits. For instance, although former New Hampshire Republican Senator and Governor Judd Gregg believes that Palin has a legitimate path to the GOP nomination, he warns that such an event would lead to President Obama’s clear reelection. He states that the muddled GOP presidential field means it’s more likely than ever there won’t be a clear consensus candidate before the party’s nominating convention in August of 2012. If that happens, says Gregg, Palin and her army of supporters might have the upper hand when it comes to settling on a presidential candidate. Gregg wrote in The Hill newspaper on Sunday,

“A candidate who runs second or third in a great many primaries could go into the convention with a sizable block of delegates. Who would this favor? Does Sarah Palin come to mind? Although she is not viewed by most as strong enough to win, she is viewed by many as a person worth voting for to make a statement. Finishing second and third isn’t really a big deal – until you get enough delegates to be the nominee,” wrote Gregg. “And picking a nominee who it seems would be easily defeated by President Obama might not be the best statement.”

Add that to George F. Will who appeared on ABC‘s “This Week” in January and said,

“The president’s secret weapon may be the Republican nominating electorate, because there is one person, high in the polls, Sarah Palin, who cannot be elected president because she cannot compete where elections are decided — in the collar counties outside Chicago, Montgomery County outside of Philadelphia — just can’t compete there,”

Will’s remarks follow those of Charles Krauthammer who said in December,

“Her negatives are over 50 percent. She has no chance of winning a general election. Why would you want a candidate who is going to lose against a Democrat who is going to be vulnerable and who is also extremely ideologically ambitious?”

Former George W. Bush White House press staffer Scott Stanzel tweeted,

“Hey @SarahPalinUSA, ever heard the phrase ‘roll with the punches’? Constantly complaining about media = athletes whining about the refs.”

On November 30th, Joe Scarborough said,

“Republicans have a problem. The most-talked-about figure in the GOP is a reality show star who cannot be elected…[T]his is one Republican who would prefer that the former half-term governor promote her reality shows and hawk her books without demeaning the reputations of Presidents Reagan and Bush…[I]f Republicans want to embrace Palin as a cultural icon whose anti-intellectualism fulfills a base political need, then have at it. I suppose it’s cheaper than therapy. But if the party of Ronald Reagan, Paul Ryan and Marco Rubio wants to return to the White House anytime soon, it’s time that Republican leaders started standing up and speaking the truth to Palin.”

Three weeks ago Senator Kit Bond (R-MO) said,

“I have reservations about anyone who quits as governor halfway through the term.”

Former New Jersey Gov. Christine Todd Whitman (R) told CNN that,

“I mean, she was a governor. But the fact that she left office before even completing her first term is — that’s just not an attitude that I think is necessarily in the best interest of your constituents — rather what’s in your best interests.”

And even the alleged mastermind of the Republican Party, Karl Rove said of Palin late last October,

“With all due candor, appearing on your own reality show on the Discovery Channel, I am not certain how that fits in the American calculus of ‘that helps me see you in the Oval Office.”

Ouch, all of those comments have a left a mark upon Sarah Palin’s political visage which is not likely to heal anytime soon. Isn’t it captivating to watch conservatives eat their own?

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s  song parody.

Unforgettable song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDN5rG3wLa4

UNELECTABLE

(sung to the Nat King Cole song “Unforgettable”)

Unelectable
That’s what you are
Unelectable
This TV star

Thank the Lord above that Sarah P.
Has no political destiny
Never before
Has someone been more…

Unelectable
In every way
And forever more
That’s how she’ll stay

Thank you Sarah, it’s incredible
That someone so disreputable
Is just so damn
Unelectable, too

(book-signing break)

Unelectable
That’s what they say
Palin’s not adored
Like Tina Fey

That’s why Palin, it’s incredible
That you are so unforgettable
But it is so
Damn regrettable, too

Bachmann’s Ignorance Of History Repeats Itself (Again!)

Michele Bachmann says, "Hey, who knows from history?"

Michele Bachmann (R-Whacky Town) is the de-facto leader of the House of Representatives’ Tea Party Caucus and a potential 2012 GOP candidate for President of the United States. Like all Tea-Baggers she enjoys referencing the “founding fathers” as often as she can in an attempt to convince voters that she might know something about American history. Problem is, every time that the moonbat-crazy Bachmann opens her mouth, she demonstrates that her grasp of history is as confused as the constant Thorazine-stare look on her face.

You might recall that Bachmann’s first recent foray into foolishness occurred in Iowa in late January of this year.  Speaking at an event sponsored by Iowans For Tax Relief, Bachmann boldly proclaimed:

“But we also know that the very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States,” Bachmann added, claiming “men like John Quincy Adams… would not rest until slavery was extinguished in the country.”

Huh? Bachmann is apparently unaware that slavery continued as a legal institution in the United States for generations after the nation’s founding in 1776. Indeed, the founding fathers went so far as to declare that Afro-Americans were only three-fifths of a person. Bachmann must also be ignorant of the fact that many founding fathers including George Washington and Thomas Jefferson owned slaves and that Jefferson actually fathered children with at least one slave. The bone-headed Bachmann also lacked the knowledge that John Quincy Adams was not a founding father. Rather, he was the son of John Adams (also not a founding father inasmuch as he was a diplomat to Great Britain at the time).

Her slavery blunders notwithstanding, Michele Bachmann may have proved her historical ignorance even more strikingly just last weekend. CNN reports that at a speaking event in Manchester, New Hampshire, Bachmann said of New Hampshire,

“You’re the state where the shot was heard around the world at Lexington and Concord.”

Unfortunately for Bachmann, her suddenly silent audience actually knew that the Battles of Lexington and Concord wherein the “shot heard round the world” was fired, took place in Massachusetts. Not New Hampshire. That is something that most of us learn in elementary school history classes.

The ignorance of Michele Bachmann becomes more apparent each time that she utters a public statement. Indeed, the ignorance of Michele Bachmann can only be challenged by the ignorance of Sarah Palin and the misspelled poster-carrying Tea-Partiers that they pal around with.

Speaking of the Tea Party, Bachmann appeared on Fox News (where else) last night and proclaimed that the Tea Party is a bi-partisan coalition. She said, “The Left is so deathly afraid of the Tea Party because it’s made up of Democrats, Independents, Republicans, Libertarians; a huge swatch of the country that just wants the country to work again.” Michelle Bachmann is one leaf short of a full tea-bag if she thinks that Democrats are in the Tea Party.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Flintstones television theme song link: http://www.televisiontunes.com/Flintstones.html

BACHMANN

(sung to the television theme song “The Flinstones”)

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
A Congresswoman that is bat crazy
She and Sarah Palin
Driving voters from the G.O.P.

She can’t form a sentence that’s complete
Now she’s targeted for big defeat

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Bachmann. Michele Bachman
Hates Blacks, children and those that are gay
She is clearly brain dead
Can’t seem to get out of her own way

She talks right through the rain, snow and sleet
Every single thought is incomplete

When you’re Michele Bachmann
You’re just living off the state dime
Endorsing hate crimes
Exposed during prime time

Exposed during prime time

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 73

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: The Washington Post reports John Ensign (R-NV) will retire rather than seek reelection in 2012, he announced Monday afternoon. The decision brings to an end a tumultuous several years that saw him go from one of the party’s rising stars to persona non grata. The retirement decision comes in the wake of an ongoing Senate ethics committee investigation into whether Ensign acted improperly in an extramarital affair with Cynthia Hampton, who worked for Ensign’s political committees and whose husband, Doug, was a top legislative staffer for Ensign. “There are consequences to sin,” Ensign declared at a news conference in Las Vegas. He said he did not want to put his family though an “exceptionally ugly” campaign. Democrats can only hope that whack-job Sharron “2nd Amendment Remedies” Angle elects to run for this seat.

THIS JUST IN: For those of you that are not current on Vermont news, take note that by the next week, the House Health Care Committee will vote on a bill that authorizes the building blocks for a future single-payer health care system. You read that correctly. Vermont is actually working toward a health care system that progressives nation-wide would love for themselves. Keep up the good fight Vermont.

BREAKING NEWS: Last week we reported about the move afoot to recall Republican Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker and several newly elected GOP state senators. This week we have learned that there is now a “Committee to Recall Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer” which has begun collecting signatures to begin the recall process. The moral of these stories? If you govern like a radical Tea-Bagger, you will not govern very long.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Family Values Republicans Acting Badly” features California State Senator Roy Ashburn (now known as “Assburn”). The radically anti-gay politician was pulled over and arrested for drunk driving after leaving a gay nightclub. There was an unidentified man in the passenger seat of the car. (Insert appropriate hypocrite analogy here).

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Who’s Wants To Be An Indicted Republican ?” stars Indiana Secretary of State Charlie White who was indicted this week on seven (7) felony counts including voter fraud, perjury and theft. White now joins other such noteworthy contestants as Tom Delay, Scooter Libby, Duke Cunningham and Roy Blunt.

THIS JUST IN: A Pro-Governor Scott Walker rally was held in Wisconsin this week. One of the featured speakers was the long-lost Joe the Plumber from McCain/Palin days. Joe apparently did not receive the memo about toning down violent rhetoric because he was ranting about “taking bullets for your children”. More interesting however, was the fact that only 600 people attended the rally. To put that paltry number in perspective. compare it to the more than 70,000 public union supporters attended the February 26th rally for that group. Who is more popular in Wisconsin?

BREAKING NEWS: President Barack Obama visited the city of Boston on Tuesday. He visited an innovative inner-city technical school known as TechBoston, mingled with the Boston Celtics and spoke at the Museum of Fine Arts. Most importantly however, he raised over $1 million for congressional Democrats.

THIS JUST IN: Magnitude 8.9 earthquake and tsunami hit Japan killing thousands. No further details.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “The Twilight Zone” features former Republican Massachusetts Governor, failed Republican 2008 Presidential candidate and likely 2012 Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney. Boston area Republican political analyst Todd Domke wrote an editorial which appeared in yesterday’s Boston Globe. This was the most entertaining passage:

Rod Serling sets the stage:“Massachusetts is not just a state; it’s a state of mind. This is where pilgrims landed, taxpayers revolted, and witches burned. But what burns in one politician is ambition — ambition to leave his state and move into a big white house in Washington, D.C. For Mr. Mitt Romney, this state has become a nightmare. He wants to pack his political baggage and exit stage right, but he can’t leave because this state is his . . . Twilight Zone.’’

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s Sarah Palin song parody.

It’s All Over Now song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbpU5vBYnfU&feature=related

IT’S ALL OVER NOW

(sung to the Rolling Stones version of the song “It’s All Over Now”)

Well, Palin was around way too long
She winked those eyes, went to Hong Kong
But her heart’s now broken, that’s no lie
Tables turn and now it’s her turn to cry

Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now
Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now

Well, she thought that she’d be crowned a queen in D.C. Town
She’d spend book deal money to buy herself some fame
She has no clout, that must be a blow to her pride
Tables turn and now it’s Sarah who cries

Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now
Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now

(musical interlude)

Well, on Meet The Press Sunday morning, did you hear what they said?
“Palin’s political future is all but dead”
Brooks, Dionne and Murphy really smacked Palin down
Now the whole world knows that she is just a clown

Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now
Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now
Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now
Some crackpots used to love her, but it’s all over now


Palin’s Potential Presidential Popularity Plummetts Precipitously!

The question is: How low can she go? The Washington Post reports that Sarah Palin’s “unfavorable” rating has spiked to a new high that may signal that her presidential campaign may be doomed before it begins. A new Bloomberg poll shows the former Alaska governor is now viewed unfavorably by 60 percent of American adults. That’s higher than any other poll has shown, but it’s not even the entire picture.

“Of that 60 percent, nearly two-thirds – 38 percent of all adults – say they view the former GOP vice presidential nominee “very unfavorably.” No other politicians tested even comes close, including President Obama (22 percent). What’s more, Palin’s unfavorable rating is more than twice as high as her favorable rating, which rests at just 28 percent. Another 12 percent aren’t sure how they feel about her.

The poll follows a long and continuous trend in which, as the presidential race nears, people gradually find that they like Palin less and less.

In fact, the numbers are starting to look a lot like someone else’s: House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.).

Except that they are worse.

On the eve of her party’s historic 2010 losses, the former House speaker’s unfavorable rating rose into the mid-50s in most polling, while her favorable rating was right around 30. Bloomberg, using the same pollster as now, showed her favorable rating at 33 percent and her unfavorable rating at 55 percent.

Palin, after having better numbers around the time of the 2010 election, now has even worse numbers than Pelosi.”

Turn out the lights. The party is over for the ex former-quitting half-term governor of Alaska. Ah Sarah, we hardly knew ye!

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to not only familiarize yourselves with the tune, but to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

The Party’s Over” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsTAUs_h_uY

HER PARTY’S OVER

(sung to the Willie Nelson song “The Party’s Over”)

Turn out the lights
Her party’s over
They say that all
Good things must end
Oh yes, that’s right
Her party’s over
Even before it starts
Palin is a has-been

See that crazy Sarah Palin
Deemed obscene by many people
Lying, prancing
Thanks to you she’s all but done
That Sarah P.
Will soon be cryin’
Her bullshit no-one is buyin’
Misery, cuz for she the party’s over

Turn out the lights
Her party’s over
We’ve had a ball
Watching her end
Oh yes, that’s right
Her party’s over
Even before it starts
Palin is a has-been

Sarah was the Queen of Lying
And “death panel” proselytizing
Was the face of the Tea Party
Tea-Baggers loved her
She sold them books and took their dimes
Helped them misspell all their signs
But one night they said,
“Sweetheart, the party’s over”

Turn out the lights
Her party’s over
They say that all
Good things must end
Oh yes, that’s right
Her party’s over
Even before it starts
Palin is a has-been
Even before it starts
Palin is a has-been

(Word-salad tossing, palm crib-note writing,  reality-TV starring fade to end)

Murdoch Tells Beck To Get The Fox Outta Here

The New York Times reports that moonbat-crazy Glenn Beck may be told to pack up his things and leave Fox News-Ville in December when his contract with the propaganda network expires.

Beck has lost more than a third of his audience since last August and it is easy to see why. He is having a mental breakdown on a nightly basis before our very eyes. His television stage-set resembles the hidden away attic classroom of an addle-minded tenured professor who has been reduced to spewing unintelligible gibberish and writing inane code on a blackboard in front of which there are no longer any sane students. His conspiracy theories are so wildly imaginative and unrealistic that even the other Fox hosts such as Bill O’Reilly and Sean Hannity steer well clear of all things Beckian. Simply stated, Glenn beck has become a raving lunatic and a liability to Fox News.

Glenn Beck’s steady fall from grace began in 2009 when he proclaimed that President Barack Obama has a “deep-seated hatred for white people”. That remark caused such a public backlash that that over 300 advertisers pulled their commercials from his program. Virtually his only remaining sponsors are gold-hawking economic doomsayers. The resultant startling loss of advertising revenue was not something the Fox network enjoyed. Soon thereafter, Beck began to describe wacky conspiracies involving socialists, communists, leftists and Muslims all joining forces to infiltrate the Obama administration and then take down the world. Honestly, even Austin Powers’ arch enemy, the sinister Dr. Evil, could not come up with something that devilish.

Fox executives should have realized that Beck spelled trouble from the very beginning. He has no formal education or work experience in the world of politics. Glenn Beck’s college career consisted of ONE COURSE, not one semester mind you, but one course. His radio background consisted of merely a bunch of shock-jock jobs with a number of different stations. Add to that his history of alcohol and drug abuse, and you have a recipe for some kind of on-air nervous breakdown. That is exactly what we and Beck’s bosses are witnessing at the moment. It is obvious that the network wants to rid itself of Beck’s huge salary and distance itself from his meltdown as soon as possible. For Fox News, December 2011 cannot come soon enough.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Always On My Mind” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-Xl17B-Z0A

GLENN BECK’S SIMPLY LOST HIS MIND

(sung to the Willie Nelson song “You Were Always On My Mind”)

Glennie, we didn’t love you
Quite as often as we could have
Still, our goal is to defeat you
Cut your audience in half

Limbaugh makes you feel second best
It is him you are behind
Glenn, you’ve simply lost your mind
Glenn, you’ve simply lost your mind

And maybe Fox should’ve told you
Your show is a waste of time
All those folks that you sell gold to
Would do best to keep their dimes

Crazy things that you have said and done
Show a brain that’s in decline
Glenn, you’ve simply lost your mind
Glenn, you’ve simply lost your mind

Glenn B.
Tell us some more big outrageous lies
Silly
Silly conspiracies made-up in your mind
You should be tranquilized

(crying break)

Crazy things that you have said and done
Show a brain that’s in decline
Beck has simply lost his mind
Beck has simply lost his mind
Beck has simply lost his mind
Beck has simply lost his mind

Mitt(wit) Romney Chokes On His Own Foot Regarding Health Insurance Mandates

As you all probably know by now, back when Mitt Romney was Governor of Massachusetts he signed into law a groundbreaking health care plan which insured nearly every person in the state by means of a personal mandate which forced residents to purchase health insurance. If a resident of the state failed to purchase such insurance after having been deemed financially capable of doing so, he/she faced a tax penalty. Romney accepted a lot of personal praise for his health plan and continued to extol its virtues right up until the time that he decided to run for President once again in 2012.

Mitt Romney is singing a different tune these days however. He fully realizes that by defending his Massachusetts law, he will alienate many Tea Party-influenced conservative voters who hate nothing more than what they call “ObamaCare”. Despite the incontrovertible fact that the Massachusetts plan that Romney signed into law in 2006 is essentially the blueprint for Obama’s plan, Romney now refers to the nation’s law as “an unconscionable abuse of power”. The truth is however,  that Romney is the only governor in American history ever to impose an individual health insurance mandate on his citizens. And an individual mandate, of course, is at the heart of Obama’s reform law. Both “RomneyCare” and “ObamaCare” rely on the same basic formula: a requirement that everyone purchase insurance and government assistance for those who can’t afford it.

In his attempt to distance himself from his very own plan, Romney is splitting hairs. At a speech before Republican voters in New Hampshire over the weekend, Romney insisted his plan was designed for Massachusetts, not the country. He said, “Our approach was a state plan intended to address problems that were in many ways unique to Massachusetts. Our experiment wasn’t perfect. Some things worked. Some didn’t. And some things I’d change. One thing I would never do is to usurp the constitutional power of states with a one-size-fits-all federal takeover.”

Problem is, that is not what Romney was saying even as late as 2009 during the national health-care debate. At that time the great big bogey-man to conservatives was a possible government funded and administered public-option. Romney, of course, opposed the public-option. In an interview with CNN at the time he said that his Massachusetts law could actually be the plan upon which a national law should be based. “I think there are a number of features in the Massachusetts plan that could inform Washington on ways to improve health care for all Americans” Romney told CNN. “The fact that we were able to get people insured without a government option is a model I think they can learn from.” He added in that same interview that he defended the personal mandate and referred to it as a “requirement” that allowed Massachusetts residents to secure a “tax exemption.” In other words, if they didn’t sign up for health insurance, residents would get hit with a tax. Here is how Romney described the personal mandate at the time,

“In order to get a tax exemption that you would normally get, you gotta have health insurance because we want everybody in the system. No more free riders. Everybody is part of the plan. And that way, we get the costs down. We let people know that they never have to worry about losing their coverage”

Those words will continue to haunt Mitt Romney for the duration of his Presidential campaign. Indeed, President Obama and his BFF, present Democratic Governor of Massachusetts Deval Patrick, have both recently brought attention to Romney’s weak link. Realizing that Romney has the potential to pose a formidable threat to Obama’s re-election, both Obama and Patrick have recently heaped praise upon Romney for having had the foresight to design a law which has served as the blue-print for ObamaCare. This back-handed complement allies Romney with Obama and drives a wedge between Mitt(wit) and conservatives. For Obama, this is certainly a “hand well played”. For Romney however, the taste of his own foot must be awful.

BTW, while Romney attempts to steer all attention away from RomneyCare, he tries to focus attention on the fact that he knows what it takes to create jobs while Obama does not. Truth be told however, while Romney was Governor of Massachusetts, the Bay State ranked 47th out of 50 states in job creation. It is also interesting to note that Obama has now been in office for about 2 years and in Romney’s 2nd year as Governor, Massachusetts ranked 50th out of 50 in job creation. Turns out,the facts prove that Mitt Romney was good for health care and bad for jobs.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more singing along with today’s topical, song parody. Please enjoy!

The Great Pretender song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1oJuwkXr0E

MITT IS THE GREAT PRETENDER

(sung to The Platters song “The Great Pretender”)

Oh yes, Mitt’s the great pretender
Pretending that he is so swell
His needs are such; he pretends too much
The truth he simply cannot tell

Oh yes, Mitt’s the great pretender
Romney’s true beliefs are unknown
Mitt plays the game; flip-flops without shame
With no firm beliefs of his own

He was pro-choice he had us all believe
But when he faced strife, he switched up to pro-life

Oh yes, Mitt’s the great pretender
His opinion changes by town
Mitt claims to be what he’s not; you see
He wears his deceit like a crown
Romney is a flip-flopping clown

In Mass., health reform was what he achieved
He now says he feels health reform needs repeal

Yes, Mitt’s the great pretender
Just switching positions around
Ol’ Mitt Romney is not what you see
He wears his deceit like a crown
Romney is a flip-flopping clown

Palin’s Dad Clings To His Guns (Not His Wife) In Bed

Charles "Chuckles" Heath

Sarah Palin’s father Charles “Chuckles” Heath has let go with another doozy of a tale this week. CNN reports that, citing death threats to his family, he claims to keep his guns close at night. “We sleep with the guns,” Chuck Heath said in an interview with the BBC on Monday.

So let’s get this straight, Palin’s father (who does not live with her) is so afraid for his safety that he sleeps with his guns? Hey Chuck, like the psychologist once said, “just because you are paranoid does not mean that they really are not out to get you!” Who knows, maybe this is Palin’s father’s way of expressing his  “2nd Amendment remedies”. In any event, this is not the first time that the attention-seeking former teacher has shot-off (pun intended) his mouth.

Back in 2009 “Papa Bear” Palin told a couple of reporters that the presence of so many Asians and Pacific Islanders made Sarah Palin so uncomfortable that she left Hawaii Pacific College. He said, “they were a minority type thing and it wasn’t glamorous, so she came home.”

Let’s hope that so long as the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska continues to refuse to give interviews to the “lamestream’ media, that the press keeps looking to Chuck Heath for a story. Whenever he speaks, we are all sure to have a chuckle.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody also too.

The Beverly Hillbillies song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_XAPku7SgE&feature=related

THE WASSILLA HILLBILLIES – PART 3

(sung to the theme of “The Beverly Hillbillies”)

Come and listen to a story ‘bout a gal named Sarah
Not too many brains but a whole lot of mascara.
Her hair is in a beehive and she has some lipstick too,
She tried to run for V.P. but she didn’t have a clue.

Knowledge that is,   Bush Doctrine?,    Job of V.P. ?

Well the first thing ya know Obama left her in the dust,
So she joined the Tea Party to engage in some blood-lust
She said, “The Johnston family are so dumb that they just drool”
Then daughter Bristol and Levi dropped right on out of school.

Embarrasment that is,   Birth’n Babies,    Quittin’ Jobs.

Well now its time to say good-bye to Sarah and her kin,
The First Dude and his wife have some wounds that need lick’n.
The whole Palin clan now studies the encyclopedia,
So they can handle “Gotcha Questions” from the “lamestream” media.

Couric, that is.   Charlie Gibson,    Tina Fey..

Y’all come back now, y’hear?

Americans Say Palin Is Not “HOT”

If you still own one of those bumper stickers or t-shirts which proclaims: “Coldest State. Hottest Governor”, you might want to throw it away. A recent survey indicates that the saying is no longer true. We have known since she “went with the flow” like “a dead fish” back on July 3, 2009 that Sarah Palin is no longer a governor. Now we also know that she is no longer “hot”.

CNN reports that Republican New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie nabbed the “hottest politician” title among those in the GOP, according to a new national Quinnipiac University survey. Sarah Palin on the other hand, registered third from the bottom out of 23 politicians. She finished “hotter” than only Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi. It is more than obvious that these results do not bode well for the former ex-quitting Governor of Alaska if she intends to run for President. Heck, even former laughing-stock President George W. Bush finished higher than Palin.

The Quinnipiac University poll asked voters to rate leaders from 0 to 100 degrees on a “feeling thermometer,” with the highest numbers reflecting the warmest feelings. The mean scores and the percent who said they did not know enough about the people to rate them are:

Michelle Obama                  60.1 degrees      4 percent
President Clinton               59.2              2
Christopher Christie            57                55
President Obama                 56.5              0
Rudolph Giuliani                52.3              13
Mike Huckabee                   51.8              22
John Boehner                    51.1              41
Mitt Romney                     50.4              23
Tim Pawlenty                    48.2              67
Jon Huntsman                    47.9              84
Ron Paul                        46.3              34
Michael Bloomberg               46                35
Michelle Bachman                45.6              55
Mitch McConnell                 45.2              48
Mitch Daniels                   45.1              78
Donald Trump                    45                5
Rick Santorum                   43.9              63
President George W. Bush        43.9              0
Haley Barbour                   43.5              65
Newt Gingrich                   42.7              17
Sarah Palin                     38.2              4
Harry Reid                      34.8              37
Nancy Pelosi                    32.9              15

It is becoming more apparent as each day passes, that Sarah Palin is fast becoming yesterday’s news. Now that her Presidential aspirations have been quashed, she should concentrate solely on trying to hold onto that cushy and lucrative Fox News position. Inasmuch as her failure of a reality television show has been canceled, the Fox gig is all that she has left to keep her in the public’s eye.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody also, too!

“I Am Woman” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8D5KMUIqV-4

I AM PALIN

(sung to the Helen Reddy song “I Am Woman”)

I am Palin that’s for sure
I can’t wait for my next book tour
And you know that “Joe the Plumber” is my friend
Yes, I’ve heard it all before
I dress and act just like a whore
And I’m sure to be a DC Town has-been

Oh yes, I’m unwise
And I border on insane
All my words are lies,
Whenever I campaign
If I have to,
I will do anything
Always wrong (wrong)
And I am miserable (she’s miserable)
I am Palin

Todd my husband might forsake me
He’s been getting rubdowns lately
That ass Frank Bailey has turned into a mole
Bristol loves me now no longer
Arizona’s where she wanders
And I’m sinking ever-lower in the polls

Oh yes, I’m unwise
And I border on insane
All my words are lies,
Whenever I campaign
If I have to,
I will do anything
Always wrong (wrong)
And I am miserable (she’s miserable)
I am Palin

I once had a TV show
Was the Queen of Eskimos
I displayed my ignorance across the land
Fighting for those embryos
The right to choose, I do oppose
I know that cuz I wrote it on my hand

Oh yes, I’m unwise
And I border on insane
All my words are lies,
Whenever I campaign
If I have to,
I will do anything
Always wrong (wrong)
And I am miserable (she’s miserable)
I am Palin

Oh, I am Palin
I’m always visible
A ding-dong

I am Palin
I’m always visible
A ding-dong
I am Palin

Palin v. Griffin – MEOW!!!

The ever-pesky Sarah Palin has managed to get herself into another cat-fight. This time she has challenged comedian Kathy Griffin to “bring it on”. You might recall that over the last few years, Griffin has poked a lot of fun at the Palin family. First she ridiculed the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska. After that, she tore into the born-again virgin daughter Bristol. Then, this winter, she promised to take down daughter willow. Now it has been announced that Griffin will play a Palin-esque Tea Party type in a guest spot on the hit television series “Glee”.

Sarah Palin was asked what she thinks of Griffin’s new role while appearing as a guest on Fox News (where else?). Her response included calling Griffin a “has-been comedienne.” She then went on to say,

“You know, Kathy Griffin can do anything to me or say anything about me, because you know, she’s kind of this – she’s a 50-year-old adult bully. I just ask for respect of my children. When she said on CNN that her New Year’s resolution is to destroy my 16-year-old daughter, that takes it a little far.Kathy… pick on me, come on up to Alaska and pick on me, but leave my kids alone.”

Them sounds like fightin’ words to Lynnrockets. It could be billed as “The Thrilla in Wasiila” featuring Kathy “The Has-Been Comedienne” Griffin versus Sarah “The Has-Been Politician” Palin. Stay tuned, because this is a bout in which the fur will be flying.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Kung Fu Fighting song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhUkGIsKvn0

KUNG FU FIGHTING (Version II)

(sung to the Carl Douglas song “Kung Fu Fighting”)

Oh – oh – oh – oh…

Sarah Palin was kung fu fighting
Her words were crude and biting
In fact she is a little bit frightening
And she has the best of timing

One day funky Griffin-gal put Sarah Palin down
She was chopping her up and she was talking her down
Her words gave Sarah a start and then she tore Kathy apart
She was shooting from the hip; when she gave Griffin some lip

Griff and Sarah were kung fu fighting
Their words were tear-inciting
We wish they had put them in writing
Boy, they had the best of timing

She said, “knuckle dragging Griff, you better bite your tongue”
Kath said “Why don’t you get lost, you best be gone”
She said, “this crib-note on my hand says I’m worth one-hundred grand”
Kath said, “when you see my Glee clip, you will just have to bite your lip”

Rick and Sarah were kung fu fighting
Their words were crude and biting
We wish they had put them in writing
Boy, they had the worst of timing

Oh – oh – oh – oh…

Griff and Sarah were kung fu fighting
Their words were crude and biting
We wish they had put them in writing
Boy, they had the best of timing

Oh – oh – oh – oh…
Keep on fighting
Those cats are frightening

Oh – oh – oh – oh…(to fade)

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