Lynnrockets Unveils “Kevin’s Blog – A Liberal Dose Of Reality”

Lynnrockets with an unlikely friend

Lynnrockets is back. The weekend with Canadian buddies turned into somewhat of a lost weekend. Now that the cobwebs have cleared it is time to get back to work. As many of you already know, I won (with the help of you Rocketeers) a contest to be the liberal political blogger for Boston talk radio station WRKO 680 AM. Well, today is the day that the blog debuted. It was not an easy transition. The process involved many meetings with the station brass and I am still struggling to learn the workings of the station’s blogging program. That being said, you can find my radio blog here. I would truly appreciate it if some of you could venture over to that site and leave a comment or two so that it can get up off the ground. I know that I can count on you.

Here is the post which is presently on www.wrko.com/blog/kevin:

Hello folks. My name is Kevin McCarthy and yes, I am a Democrat. The Democrat is by far the most abundant life form on the Massachusetts terra firma but he is a rare and endangered species on the airwaves these days. Take a look at this radio station’s daily lineup of hosts and you will discover the existence of just one pseudo-Democrat in the lot. The same can be said of Boston’s only other major talk radio station over on the FM band. They are both chock-full of local Teapublicans. In contrast, Boston’s only liberal station is hampered by weak signal strength and a lineup which lacks local talent and consists almost entirely of nationally syndicated hosts. In short, like Rodney Dangerfield, the Massachusetts Democrat “gets no respect” on the air.

Until now. WRKO, to its credit, has done something to even the playing field just a little bit. The station has been gracious enough to allow me the opportunity to spout-off on this blog. Please be forewarned that most of the satire, humor and vitriolic content of this blog will be knowingly and purposely aimed and directed at the conservative right-wing members of the Grand Old Party, their alter-ego the Tea Party and those members of the media that support them. In other words, if you do not like the thought of the likes of Sarah Palin, Mitt Romney, Michele Bachmann, Newt Gingrich Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter being barbecued before your eyes, then now is the time to leave and never return. On the other hand, if that is the sort of stuff that grinds your beans, then put on your tinfoil helmet, strap yourself in and enjoy the flight.

My thoughts and ideas however, will not go unopposed. I have been provided a worthy conservative adversary by the name of Edward Kelleher who’s blog can be found here. On any given day we may comment on the same topic in a sort of cross-fire format, or we may simply describe what is on our minds at the present moment. Additionally, although I cannot speak for Ed, I welcome any and all comments whether they be friendly or contrary. I only request that the language be kept somewhat within the bounds of decency. I have a firm belief in the adage that “reasonable people may differ” and that the give and take of differing opinions strengthens our society.

In an attempt to add some levity to my blog posts, I will try to write and post a song parody most every day. I will also post a link (audio or video) that will help readers to either reacquaint themselves or familiarize themselves with the actual tune of each song parody. I hope that these contributions will amuse you. Perhaps on occasion, one of these parodies will become that annoying tune that you cannot get out of your head for the rest of the day.

So what do you say? Let’s get started.

Last night I attended the Salem State University Speaker Series which featured Newt Gingrich. Despite the discomfort of listening to conservative policy justifications at these sort of events, I believe that it is important to listen to what the opposition is saying. It provides both a chuckle and an insight into the workings of the deviant mind. The surreal mood of last night’s event was heightened by the fact that I was accompanied by a Sarah Palin celebrity impersonator. She is the most spot-on celebrity look-alike that I have ever seen. She has mastered every nuance, gesture and even the speech pattern of Alaska’s Queen of Quit. We were seated in the 6th row of the center section of the much less than sold-out auditorium.(Best online Salem News comment: “P.S. If all of his former wives had been there it might have sold out!”) My partner’s presence caused quite a stir in the audience and I hope that it un-nerved Newt Gingrich just a bit. He does, as we all know, have a wandering eye when it comes to women.

Newt Gingrich of course, is the disgraced former Republican Speaker of the House that was forced out of leadership and his Congressional seat by his own party. He is also a serial philanderer. He has been married three times so far. In 1962, he married Jackie Battley, his former high school geometry teacher. In the spring of 1980, Gingrich left Battley after having an affair with Marianne Ginther. According to Battley, Gingrich visited her while she was in the hospital recovering from cancer surgery to discuss divorce. Six months after the divorce was final, Gingrich wed Marianne Ginther in 1981. In the mid-1990s, Gingrich began an affair with House of Representatives staffer Callista Bisek, who is 23 years his junior. They continued their affair during the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal, when Gingrich was a leader of the Republican investigation of President Clinton for perjury in connection with his alleged affairs with Paula Jones and Monica Lewinsky. In 2000, Gingrich married Bisek shortly after his divorce from second wife Ginther. Word was, that at last night’s event he also had a case of wandering eyes and hands on more than one occasion.

Gingrich announced that he would speak about job creation and entitlement reform, but the first 10 to 15 minutes of his diatribe consisted only of talk about his unsuccessful search for some kind of beer and chocolate ice cream diet. Next, he told a lengthy story about how the fall of the Soviet Union came about not as the result of anything done by Ronald Reagan, but rather by the Pope visiting his homeland of Poland in 1979 which invigorated the Solidarity movement. He said he wanted to eliminate the Environmental Protection Agency and he also surprisingly claimed that most Americans blame the Gulf Oil spill not on BP, but on the Obama Administration. Who knew? His only mention of entitlement reform was when he said “…Giving people money for doing nothing is fundamentally dangerous, because it teaches them to do nothing.” He did not however, comment on the fact that there are few if any jobs for these people to find. Indeed, by the time he wrapped things up, he barely touched upon his stated topic of job creation. He provided no specific plan and only said, “We have a fairly long history of creating jobs. It’s a pretty simple principle: Reward job creation, make it expensive not to create jobs.” Very tasty words but no meat to bite into. He did not a utter one single word about his desire that the Bush era tax cuts for those earning over $ 250,000.00 be made permanent. Perhaps the reason is that the facts prove that those tax cuts do not lead to job creation.

When George W. Bush signed into law the temporary tax cuts of 2001 and 2003 our nation slipped into the slowest period of job growth by any president since World War II. During his tenure, job growth was less than one-tenth of one percent. In contrast, after having raised taxes on that segmment of society to 39% (from the existing 31%) the job creation rate under Bill Clinton surged to 4.46% for the duration of his two terms. The argument made by Gingrich and other conservatives late last year was that if the Bush tax cuts were allowed to expire on the wealthy, job creation would be stymied, but if they were extended, employers would begin to hire once again. The conservatives got their wish when the tax cuts for the wealthy were extended through 2013 but where is the promised job creation? During the last year corporations and CEO’s have reported some of the biggest profits and bonuses in history yet they still resist creating jobs in this country. It is an undeniable fact that American businesses have added many jobs since the tax cuts were extended. Problem is, those jobs have been given to people that live in other countries.

Newt Gingrich failed to address those inconvenient facts last night in the same way that he failed to address his ouster from Congress and his serial marital infidelity. He may not want to discuss those things presently, but should he decide to run for the presidency, he will be forced to address them in the primary debates. He is in for some serious John Edwards treatment should he decide to run for president. He deserves it too!

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Grinch That Stole Christmas song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzXKWKaxt3c

YOU’RE A HAS-BEEN, NEWT GINGRICH

(sung to the Dr. Seuss song “The Grinch That Stole Christmas”)

You’re a has-been, Newt Gingrich
You’re lacking in appeal
Your were ousted as The Speaker
No one wants to hear you squeal
Newt Gingrich

You’re a unicycle
Without even one wheel

You’ve had three wives, Newt Gingrich
A mistress in the hole
Philandering’s your day job
You’re a slimy ugly troll
Newt Gingich

These woman that like you, must
Be on work-release or parole

You’re a vile one, Newt Gingrich
Your words reek with rancid bile
Your criticizing ol’ Bill Clinton
As you’re cheating all the while
Newt Gingrich

There couldn’t be a bigger hypocrite
Within a Midwest country mile

You’re a foul one, Newt Gingrich
Your first divorce smelled of skunk
Your wife, Jackie fighting cancer
You told her she was junk
Newt Gingrich

The nicest words to describe you,
Are, as follows, and I quote, Pink. Wank, Punk

You’re a coward, Newt Gingrich
Avoided your army spot
Deferment-seeking chicken-hawk
That likes to talk real tough
Newt Gingrich

Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing
With the most disgraceful assortment of Republican
Sound-bytes imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots

You’re the racist, Newt Gingrich
It’s not Judge Sotomayor
You play the race card as a white guy
That’s so laughable I’m sure
Newt Gingrich

You’re a stinking pile of vomit
Sitting in the sun
With feces on top