Serial Philanderer Newt Gingrich Defends Philandering

Disgraced former Republican House Speaker Newt Gingrich was interviewed on air by Boston radio host Howie Carr of WRKO AM on Monday. During the interview Gingrich was asked how his marital infidelity might affect a potential bid for the White House. His response?

“I expect my opponents to go back 15, 20, 25 years and try to render an alternate judgment I understand that’s what they’ll do. I’m not blaming my life on anyone, and I’m not offering excuses. I’ve made no bones about the fact there were times I did the wrong thing, and I’ve made no bones about the fact that I’ve asked for forgiveness. I think most Americans are fair, and I think most Americans will look at the totality of my life.”

Gingrich, of course, is a serial philanderer. He has been married three times so far. In 1962, he married Jackie Battley, his former high school geometry teacher. In the spring of 1980, Gingrich left Battley after having an affair with Marianne Ginther. According to Battley, Gingrich visited her while she was in the hospital recovering from cancer surgery to discuss divorce. Six months after the divorce was final, Gingrich wed Marianne Ginther in 1981. In the mid-1990s, Gingrich began an affair with House of Representatives staffer Callista Bisek, who is 23 years his junior. They continued their affair during the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal, when Gingrich was a leader of the Republican investigation of President Clinton for perjury in connection with his alleged affairs with Paula Jones and Monica Lewinsky. In 2000, Gingrich married Bisek shortly after his divorce from second wife Ginther. He and Callista currently live in McLean, Virginia.

Lynnrockets believes that Newt Gingrich is in for some serious John Edwards treatment should he decide to run for President. He deserves it too!

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Grinch That Stole Christmas song link:


(sung to the Dr. Seuss song “The Grinch That Stole Christmas”)

You’re a has-been, Newt Gingrich
You’re lacking in appeal
Your were ousted as The Speaker
No one wants to hear you squeal
Newt Gingrich

You’re a unicycle
Without even one wheel

You’ve had three wives, Newt Gingrich
A mistress in the hole
Philandering’s your day job
You’re a slimy ugly troll
Newt Gingich

These woman that like you, must
Be on work-release or parole

You’re a vile one, Newt Gingrich
Your words reek with rancid bile
Your criticizing ol’ Bill Clinton
As you’re cheating all the while
Newt Gingrich

There couldn’t be a bigger hypocrite
Within a Midwest country mile

You’re a foul one, Newt Gingrich
Your first divorce smelled of skunk
Your wife, Jackie fighting cancer
You told her she was junk
Newt Gingrich

The nicest words to describe you,
Are, as follows, and I quote, Pink. Wank, Punk

You’re a coward, Newt Gingrich
Avoided your army spot
Deferment-seeking chicken-hawk
That likes to talk real tough
Newt Gingrich

Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing
With the most disgraceful assortment of Republican
Sound-bytes imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots

You’re the racist, Newt Gingrich
It’s not Judge Sotomayor
You play the race card as a white guy
That’s so laughable I’m sure
Newt Gingrich

You’re a stinking pile of vomit
Sitting in the sun
With feces on top

Posted on March 16, 2011, in Newt Gingrich, Songs, Talk Radio and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 16 Comments.

  1. Pink, wank, punk indeed.

    He asked second wife to just ‘tolerate’ his affair (that had been ongoing for six year). She refused. He broke things off with her eight months after she was diagnosed with MS. And here’s the money quote:

    When she asked him how he can continue to give speeches about family he told her “It doesn’t matter what I do. People need to hear what I have to say. There’s no one else who can say what I say. It doesn’t matter what I live.

    Former Republican congressman Mickey Edwards who’s known Newt for 30 years says Newt has no real principles except the pursuit of power.

    Pompous, hypocritical A$$.

    • I hope his former wives scratch his eyes out if he indeed runs. At least 50% of the voters are women, and no, we don’t give a shit what this asshole has to say. In fact, there’s a job in Fukushima I’d like him to have.

  2. Love it.

  3. Not offering excuses

    “It’s not the infidelity. It’s the arrogance, hypocrisy, and – most horrifying to women voters – the cruelty. Anyone can dump one sick wife. Gingrich dumped two”- David Frum, looking at the totality of Gingrich’s life.

  4. Misery loves company

    While it’s true that there are worse people in the GOP who simply refuse to ever leave politics despite holding no office and having no chance of ever winning even a primary — we are talking about you, Newt, you amoral slug — staying “in politics” requires something that Sarah Palin hates like nothing else: hard work.

  5. That is the most awesome blog post you written, Lynrockets! Newt is total loser and man, he just can’t keep his legs shut can he? I don’t condone what he is doing and how he is leaving those women to suffer in his wake. Newt Gingrich sucks!

  6. Sorta seems to me that since Bill Clinton’s pecadillo, Republicans have tried to claim the copyright and monopoly on (heterosexual) marital fidelity — vote for the Republican guy, and get a guy who mates for life, like a swan.

    This, of course, is a howler and a scream. But could it possibly still resonate with independent voters? Do Americans look at Democratic men and see or smell philanderers, but look at Republican men and see a churchgoing devoted family man and husband?

    A few months ago Gingrich floated a trial balloon to explain his rather satyriatic track record. He explained that he was working so hard saving the USA, that in his patriotic exhaustion, he strayed from the Fidelity Path.

    Will a wild load of bullcrap like that possibly work??? With men? With women????

  7. When I think of Newt, I think of high self-importance policy and well who am I kidding he has as much chance of getting the GOP nomination as does Rudy Giuliani, Donald Trump or Herman Cain (honestly what problems has he solved as a pizza man/ Federal Reserve worker?).

    Newt Gingrich just wants another opportunity to cheat on his new wife with an intern just like the TRUMP did or does, the only difference is that Newt buys American unlike the DONALD who can’t handle the made in the US label. He is damaged goods, he belong in the scrap heap.

  8. I don’t know your history but I’m pretty willing to bet you, and your fellow libs have no similar showered no similar disdain for JFK or Bill Clinton. I guess their dozen’s of affairs are much more palatable than serial divorces. Al Gore and John Edwards who as I recall left wives (one ill) to follow their trollops. Or Teddy Kennedy who actually ended up not only divorced but murdered in the name of his infidelity. HYPOCRITS R U!

    • The difference is that Clinton and Kennedy were not hypocrites. They did not run on a publicly proclaimed “family values” platform, nor did they chastise others for their extra-marital affairs. Gingrich is a hypocrite because while cheating on his own wife, he sought the impeachment of Clinton for doing the same. Gingrich is also a liar to his supporters because he promised to be a “family values” person when he asked for their votes.

  9. The Democrats and Mr. B. Obama want Newt Gingrich to get the Republican nomination so it will be easy for them to knock down their opponent for hypocrisy, for his lying to the American people and basically no morals or values other than for the betterment of himself. Newt Gingrich a true, “Narcissist.”

  10. Here’s another question? Why? What did these women see in this bloated, arrogant pig? The thought of him naked makes me gag. What were they interested in? His power? His money? Every time I see the newest one, with her plastic blond Barbie hair, standing dutifully by him – and she is always standing there – I have to wonder what her motivation is.

  11. I know all about the birds and the bees, and I’ve seen all the nature documentaries about elks head-butting for the right to breed.

    But the rites of human mating — these I’ve always found entirely mysterious. A previous comment noted that to mate with Gingrich, a woman has to be willing to see him naked. Eek. Ick.

    I think it’s the Limo Factor — a young and beautiful (however artificially achieved) woman looks at a creature like Newt and sees a life of limos and chauffeurs, sees an endless stream of Tiffany diamonds and gold, and the chance to end up as First Lady …

    Wherever Air Force One lands, battalions of handsome young soldiers stand at rigid attention and salute her as she walks down the red carpet. Trumpets blare at her arrival. Europe’s great couturiers fight to the death to design her gowns. The world’s most famous entertainers croon to her at state galas. As her motorcade speeds her to tonight’s palace, thousands of “little people’s” cars are frozen for an hour by armed police.

    And she never again will hear that most awful word: No. For the rest of her life, it’s nothing but Yes and Of Course and Certainly and Immediately, Ma’am.

    All she has to do for a chance at such a magical life is let Newt crawl around on her now and then.

    It’s the Callista Tradeoff.

  1. Pingback: Political Irony › Not Mitt Is Not Much

  2. Pingback: Newt Says There’s Insufficient Evidence For Climate Change, Citing His Expertise As An Amateur Paleontologist « The Fifth Column

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