Daily Archives: March 1, 2011

Christine O’Donnell Says “No” To Dancing But “Yes” To Writing

Unfortunately, we learned this morning that we will be deprived of the chance to laugh out loud at this season’s version of “Dancing With The Stars”. It was announced that Christine O’Donnell will not participate in the greatly anticipated parade of fools. This means that we have been denied the opportunity to guffaw at yet another political conservative as they try to get their “cool-on”. Remember Tom “Convicted Felon” Delay’s effeminate rendition of “Wild Thing”? Could anyone forget Bristol Palin’s gorilla suit? Oh, what could have been as Christine O’Donnell donned her witch costume or pranced around carrying a vibrator.

But alas, we must carry-on without the twice-failed Teapublican candidate for a Delaware Senate seat. There is a silver lining however. In a statement, O’Donnell says she instead wants to devote her time to completing a book on the 2010 election. She said:

“I’m honored to have been invited to participate in one of the few uplifting TV shows out there. The physical challenge made it all the more appealing. Meeting challenges head-on makes us stronger. Yet, for now, I have another challenge before me; to complete a book that tells the story of the 2010 election cycle with the dignity and respect it deserves. It is my hope that this book will serve as a clarion call to my fellow citizen-activists by taking the reader beyond petitions and protests and articulating not just what we should do, but why we must do it.”

“My goal is for the book and the new PAC I’m starting to serve as resources to activate and motivate those in this middle-class movement who worked so hard to launch the new revolution. If either of these projects were further along, I would be lacing up my dancing shoes right now.”

Christine O’Donnell will follow in the footsteps of her “Mama Grizzly” Sarah Palin and write a memoir. It is certain to be a compelling read as she describes in lurid detail, her date on a satanic alter. She may relate all her deep insightful bedtime thoughts while she was busy not masturbating. She might more fully describe her statement to Bill Maher that “evolution is a myth”. She can even provide us with her interpretation of the U.S. Constitution which she believes provides for a full co-mingling of church and state. Finally, we can only assume that the final chapter will be devoted to her defense of the federal investigation into her alleged misuse of campaign contributions for such personal purposes as rent, food and vacation travel. Oh, this book should be a doozy.

Stay tuned for more details.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

“Everyday I Write The Book” song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfFunjzyIsE&feature=player_embedded

EVERYDAY SHE WRITES HER BOOK

(sung to the Elvis Costello song “Everyday I Write The Book”)

We must thank the Lord up above us
O’Donnell is such a go-getter
We’ll soon learn much more ‘bout this debtor
She got few votes, but she won’t be a footnote
She’s a girl on a mission writing her first edition

And, we all question just how long it took
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book

Chapter One, masturbating is just so wrong
Chapter Two, the recipe for witch’s brew
Her times with Hannity are the subject of Chapter Three
All of those embarrassing pics in Chapters Four, Five and Six

And, we all question just how long it took
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book

The lies she hawked
Her hate-fueled talk, she was so pissy, we laughed
In four or five paragraphs
Christine’s vile nonsense and her insane remarks
Are captured there in her quotation marks

And, we all question just how long it took
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book

Everyday she writes her book

Tho’ her book may be met with indifference
She’s not a lover she’s a fighter
With her pen and her electric typewriter
She’ll be living in her world as a martyr with no equal
She’ll still own the film rights and be working on the sequel

And, we all question just how long it took
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book
Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday she writes her book
We can’t believe how long it took, everyday she writes the book
We can’t believe how long it took, everyday she writes the book
We can’t believe how long it took, everyday she writes the book

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