Sarah Palin Will Serve Word-Salad In India

The reason Sarah Palin's speech in Hong Kong will be closed to the press.

Today Lynnrockets has good news and bad news. The good news is that Sarah Palin will be leaving the country. The bad news is that Sarah Palin will be leaving the country and  making a laughing-stock out of the United States while speaking in India. After all, Sarah Palin reflects on our nation like Borat reflects on Kazakhstan.

The former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska will be traveling to India next month to speak at the 10th annual India Today Conclave. The conference is billed as a high-profile talk-shop of “global thought leaders”. Time reports that Palin “will be speaking alongside heavyweights such as Mohammed ElBaradei — at one stage, the figurehead of Egypt’s pro-democracy movement — feminist firebrand Germaine Greer, and the Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh. Her speech, according to reports, is tentatively titled “My Vision for America.”‘

Since when is Sarah Palin a “global thought leader”? She is not, after all, much of a traveler. During her failed 2008 campaign she admitted to having traveled abroad only twice. Indeed, she falsely claimed that she had been to Iraq when in actuality, she never left bordering Kuwait. In her first ghost-written memoir she also wrote about her family’s trips to Canada when she was a child to utilize that country’s medical system. In 2009 she traveled to Hong Kong to deliver a speech to a group of world-wide investors but the event was closed to the press.Then, earlier this year she went to Haiti to witness the devastation of the cholera outbreak. That is it. Sarah Palin is no Dora the Explorer.

Her limited international awareness notwithstanding, Sarah Palin is also a terrible speaker. Has there ever been a more verbally challenged politician? Think about it, haven’t successful politicians historically been able to charm and beguile voters with the help of a well formed phrase? If such is the case, then how did Sarah Palin ever manage to get elected to any public office higher than dog catcher? Consider some of her actual quotations such as these:

“As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where– where do they go? It’s Alaska. It’s just right over the border.” –Sarah Palin, explaining why Alaska’s proximity to Russia gives her foreign policy experience, interview with CBS’s Katie Couric, Sept. 24, 2008, and

“All of ‘em, any of ‘em that have been in front of me over all these years.” –Sarah Palin, unable to name a single newspaper or magazine she reads, interview with Katie Couric, CBS News, Oct. 1, 2008, and

“They are also building schools for the Afghan children so that there is hope and opportunity in our neighboring country of Afghanistan.” –Sarah Palin, speaking at a fundraiser in San Francisco, Oct. 5, 2008, and

“If [the media] convince enough voters that that is negative campaigning, for me to call Barack Obama out on his associations then I don’t know what the future of our country would be in terms of First Amendment rights and our ability to ask questions without fear of attacks by the mainstream media.” –Sarah Palin, getting First Amendment rights backwards while suggesting that criticism of her is unconstitutional, radio interview with WMAL-AM, Oct. 31, 2008

Perhaps her India speech (which has been modified from a speech about her Hong Kong trip by a blogger) will be something like this:

From the Kitchen Office of The Quitting Half-Term Governor of the Republic Of Alaska

Well hiya, Indians. How!

Ya know, I always wondered where curry and peace pipes came from, and now I know. Hey congratulations on not spreading the wealth around.

As a foremost expert on Energies and such I asked my son Trig if I should accept your offer to speak here tonight and he said hell-yeah!
Ya know the only thing more precious than a child, is a vision of an economic that ensures the greatness of achievements so the taxpayers freedoms remain free, like our founding fathers did before our childrens’ future, which is what I’m fighting for but the lametream media won’t let me because they keep making things up also and I wish they’d just quit it ya know?
Because Governing Alaska was just a leetle bit more qualifying than organizing black kids, you betcha, so that’s why I’m on Fox News all the time because basketball moms know the difference between helicopter wolf-hunting and clothes-shopping and when you read all the newspapers like I do you have to ask yourself the hard questions and get things done while protecting your shores because, as a mother, I have a fridge magnet that inspires me every day to keep going and keep fighting for things that are need to be done so that our kids can’t be indoctrinated by the nay-sayers who aren’t real Americans from which we can learn politics as usual isn’t what I’m all about and we should all ask ourselves, in what context? By the way, where’s the casino also, too?

Thank You.

Quite simply, Sarah Palin must abide by that age old trial lawyer’s creed. To wit, ” If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, then baffle them with bullshit.”

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Enjoy!

Maxwell’s Silver Hammer song link:


(sung to the The Beatles song “Maxwell’s Silver Hammer”)

Palin castigates and she miscommunicates
Speaking words unknown
She repeats and drones in a grating tone
Oh, oh, oh

She needs medicine, we’re in need of Excedrin
When she whines and moans
She’s less erudite than ol’ Fred Flinstone
Oh, oh, oh

She’s not as bright as that Plumber, Joe
And dresses like a whore

Slang!, slang!, Sarah’s silly grammar
That spews from out her head
Slang!, slang!, Sarah’s silly grammar
Her language we all dread

Safety-schools back then, Sarah had no acumen
Could not stay employed
Trying to avoid an unpleasant scene
Ee, ee, een

She can’t help but pray for luck each election day
Before she resigns
Working with a mind that is oh, so slow
Oh, oh, oh

She only aggravates and annoys
And gets in ethics binds

Slang!, slang!, Sarah’s silly grammar
That spews from out her head
Slang!, slang!, Sarah’s silly grammar
Her language we all dread

(death panel break)

By age forty-one, Palin was a dirty one
Sitting on her throne
Giving state jobs to all her friends from home
Oh, oh, oh

Quacking like a mallard while tossing a word salad
Sarah gives a speech
The words are just out of reach, it’s darn sloppy prose
Oh, oh, oh

And as the words are leaving her lips
She gets much more tongue tied

Slang!, slang!, Sarah’s silly grammar
That spews from out her head
Slang!, slang!, Sarah’s silly grammar
Her language we all dread

Silly grammar gal

Posted on February 26, 2011, in Sarah Palin, Songs and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 15 Comments.

  1. She is such a twerp. Thanks for the laugh – I actually read the speech you wrote out loud – OMG too funny. I could barely catch my breath trying to complete each paragraph-sentence. You captured her perfectly. And also too, does she realize the Muslim population in India is the third largest in the world?

  2. Great work! I just want to know which idiot approved her “speaking” in India. Maybe someone with Trig’s IQ….

  3. An Idiot Abroad

    Finally some help for our balance of payments deficit: It might be the most patriotic thing the grifter could possibly do! Fleece foreigners in a reverse outsourcing scam- let Indians complain they can’t understand a word she’s saying!

    How the hell did Wikileaks get an advance copy of her speech?

  4. Loved your Sarah speech. Had me in stiches!

  5. That’s a pretty good word salad.

  6. Why don’t you liberal Jack*sses take a douche, it will clear your mind.

    • A douche will clear our “minds”? Hmm…

    • Ah, such insightful, witty commentary. Wouldn’t care to discuss anything rationally now, would you? Please feel free to challenge any of the information presented about the ex half term Governor of Alaska. Warning: FACTS will be difficult to refudiate. But thanks for playing.

  7. Hilarious!!

    thanks for that, India should take back that invitation.

    perhaps you’d like to check out what the Indian media is saying about the trip!

  8. The conference in New Delhi that Sarah Palin will attend is sponsored by a newspaper. As she told Katie Couric, Mrs. Palin reads all of them, so that would include India Today, The Hindu, The Times of India ….

  9. I am scared now. I am an Indian living in India and I have followed US politics since some time and I do know this, Palin and her talk and ideas make me shudder at the consequences of her becoming the Vice-President or the future President of USA.

    My American friends, spare a thought for those who have to listen to her in India. A moment of silence :D.

  1. Pingback: Sarah Palin Will Serve Word-Salad In India « Lynnrockets' Blast-Off — Sarah Palin - Palin Fail

  2. Pingback: Sarah Palin Will Serve Word-Salad In India « Lynnrockets' Blast-Off | The Daily Conservative

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