Daily Archives: February 16, 2011

BREAKING NEWS: Nudist Teapublican Senator Scott Brown Was Buggered!

Scott Brown chuckles during his "60 Minutes" interview.

Sometimes you just have to wonder what inspires  people to reveal personal things. It was just over a year ago that the Tea Party claimed its first election victory at the federal level. In the special election to fill the late Ted Kennedy’s Massachusetts Senate seat, the Sarah Palin-endorsed Scott Brown upset the heavily favored Martha Coakley and a Republican was elected in that bluest of blue states for the first time in decades.

Brown immediately became the poster child for the defeat of the Democrats’ health care reform legislation (despite the fact that he voted in favor of the passage of the very same law while he was a Massachusetts state representative just 4 years earlier). He failed. The Democrats passed the health care reform law despite Brown’s so-called “41st vote” by means of utilizing the reconciliation procedure. Brown’s status continued to decline within conservative circles when he shunned appearing with Sarah Palin at her Boston Tea Party rally. Thereafter, he really started pissing-off the Tea Baggers when he began voting with Democrats on a job creation bill and the sweeping financial regulation package. Scott Brown’s star was fading in Republican circles.

No longer was Scott Brown one of the “go-to” guys for a Fox News soundbyte. All talk of a future Republican bid for President had ceased. The Republican Senate leadership even unceremoniously evicted him from Ted Kennedy’s cushy Capitol office space and banished him to a cubby-hole in a separate building. Jeesh, what does a former Tea Party star have to do to get some attention in the Beltway?

Let’s see. He could get involved in a sex scandal like fellow Republicans David Vitter, Larry Craig, Mark Sanford, Mark Foley or John Boehner (pronounced “boner”). But no, that would be too predictable and stale these days. Wait a minute, he could take the opposite approach. He could play the role of a victim of a sexual predator.

And voila! Scott Brown has just injected himself back into the public spotlight by revealing in an interview with CBS‘ “60 Minutes” that he was sexually abused at the age of 10. CNN reports today that he said,

“Fortunately, nothing was ever fully consummated so to speak. It was certainly, back then, very traumatic. “He [the perpetrator] said, ‘If you tell anybody, I’ll kill you. I’ll make sure nobody believes you,'”.That’s the biggest thing. When people find people like me at that young vulnerable age that are basically lost. The thing that they have over you is that that they make you believe no one will believe you.”

The Boston Globe reports that the perpetrator was a male camp counselor and some of the details will be provided in Brown’s autobiography which will be released on Monday. Brown said that the molestation took place on Cape Cod at a religious camp. He did not however, disclose the name of the camp in his book, or the denomination.

“I can remember how he looked, every inch of him: his long sandy, light brown hair; his long, full mustache; the beads he wore; the tie-dyed T-shirts and the cutoff jeans, which gave him the look of a hippie,” Brown writes in the book, “Against All Odds.”

The Boston Globe further reports, Brown said the abuse occurred when he went to the camp infirmary, not feeling well. The counselor followed him into the bathroom, according to Brown’s account.

“I was standing there with my pants down and he came right up next to me and asked me if I needed help, and then he reached out his hand,” Brown writes, continuing with a graphic description of the encounter.

In his book, Brown says the incident with the counselor was not the first time he faced a potential sex abuser. In an earlier episode Brown describes, when he was about 8 and living in Malden, MA, he befriended a 13-year old boy from the neighborhood. Late one winter afternoon, the friend approached Brown in the woods, threatened him with a knife, and commanded Brown to perform a sexual act, according to Brown’s account. Feeling desperate, Brown says, he hit the teenager in the face with a rock and ran away.

“To this day,” the senator writes, “I can still see the flash of that knife blade in the woods and the thirteen-year-old boy with his pants down.”

Brown claims that he had never revealed the attacks until this interview. You have to wonder if the episodes had any influence on his past nude modeling. Too bad “60 Minutes” did not enquire into that.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Centerfold song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqDjMZKf-wg&playnext=1&list=PL9B0677232540092C

SCOTT BROWN IS THE CENTERFOLD

(sung to the J. Geils Band song “Centerfold”)

C’mon !
Does he walk? Does he talk?
Is he G.O.P.?
Scott Brown’s a Men’s Room angel
Larry Craig would share his seat

His buns are white like snowflakes
No underwear to stain
He poses like a sweet angel
Naked but with no brain

This sad guy loves posing in those porno magazines
He’s like a nudist angel and he’s pimping out his teens

(CHORUS)
He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
That Scott Brown is the centerfold
Scott Brown is the centerfold

He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
Scott Brown is the centerfold

Nude behind his Senate desk
This girlie man should be in a dress
Can he see that Larry Craig
Is giving him the eye

He is naked but for shoes
Much too indecent for the news
You must wear clothes on TV
They told that Scott Brown guy

Wear diapers like Dave Vitter
They do not cover  much
Or simply wear a negligee
That would be a nice touch

(CHORUS)
He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
That Scott Brown is the centerfold
Scott Brown is the centerfold

He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
Scott Brown is the centerfold

(na, na, na, na, na, na…..)

It’s okay we understand
Scott’s nudity should not be banned
But while prancing on the Senate lawn
We wish he would keep his clothes on

Take his truck, Yes he will
He’ll take that truck and drive it
He says the cab has lots of room
For his ass and his private

He says that his bod’s really ripped
He loves it when his clothes are stripped
Oh, no, Scott can’t deny it
Oh yeah, it’s time for him to diet!

(CHORUS)
He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
That Scott Brown is the centerfold
Scott Brown is the centerfold

He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
Scott Brown is the centerfold

(REPEAT)

The Madcap CPAC Recap Continues…

Pamela Geller and Ann "The Man" Coulter". "Nuff said.

Pamela Geller (Buffy the Vampire Slayer?), one of the biggest critics of the so-called “Ground Zero Mosque” held an unofficial forum during the CPAC conference last weekend. The main focus of the forum was for the preview of the film “The Ground Zero Mosque: The Second Wave of The 9/11 Attacks.” Despite the film however, it was Geller’s bizarre remarks about the CPAC conference itself which drew the most attention.

Geller proclaimed that the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) has been “corrupted” and “compromised by Muslim Brotherhood activists.” Really Ms. Geller, we all understand that every single person at this annual gathering of radical right-wing nut-jobs felt compelled to say something about the recent Egyptian uprising, but to suggest that the conservative group has been infiltrated by the Muslim Brotherhood is simply over the top. She continued…

“If you look at the agenda of CPAC, look at all of the panels and then look at your daily news headlines, they’re either clueless or complicit,” Geller said. “And I’m telling you that before you throw the baby out with the bathwater. There are 12,000 people that come to this event that don’t know they’ve been completely sold out by CPAC leadership. We have to take CPAC back, you can’t create this again.”

Let’s go to the tape:

It is only a matter of time now before Pamela Geller appears on Fox News with Glenn Beck to spread this wildly sensational conspiracy theory. The chalkboards are certain to be burning with activity.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

American Woman song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PnluciYGFXg

REPUBLICAN WOMEN

(sung to the Guess Who song “American Woman”)

Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women, they’ve really lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds

Say “R”, say “E”, say “P”
Say “L”, say “I”, say “C”
Say “A” “N”

Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds
Republican women they’ve all lost their minds

Republican women, stay away from me
Republican women, from the G.O.P.
You are someone I’ll just ignore
I don’t wanna see your face no more
I got more important things to do
And I will never be sold on you

Now women, I said stay away

Republican women, listen what I say

Republican women, have no dignity
Republican women, and their tea-parties
Like I told you the time before
Michele Bachmann is just a bore
Mann Coulter I do despise
Malkin has a lazy eye
Now women, I said get away
Republican women, listen what I say

Republican women, it’s clear as day
Republican women, they’re no Tina Fey
Talk about defending our shores
Their husbands prefer time with whores
Jean Schmidt always makes a scene
Sarah Palin thinks she’s queen
Mary Matalin’s hypnotized
Ingraham’s mouth is super-sized
Now women, from the G.O.P.
Republican women, mama let me be

Go, gotta get away, gotta get away
Now go go go
Gonna leave you, women
Gonna leave you, women
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
Bye-bye
You’re no good for me
I’m no good for you
Gonna look you right in the eye.
Tell you what I’m gonna do
You know I’m gonna leave
You know I’m gonna go
You know I’m gonna leave
You know I’m gonna go, women
I’m gonna leave, women
Goodbye, Republican women