Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 69

Just a few newsworthy items (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful day!

BREAKING NEWS: Remember last Tuesday when The Sharon K. Pacheco Foundation announced that it had rescinded its invitation to Sarah Palin to be a speaker at its May event because of threats to Palin? Well, Talking Points Memo reports that no Colorado law enforcement entities were advised of any such threats. The site wrote, “In addition to the Glendale police, the Arapahoe County Sheriff’s Office, the Denver Police Department and the Colorado Bureau of Investigation also told the Denver Post they hadn’t received reports of any threats related to the Palin appearance. Meanwhile, the foundation’s website has been shut down for “revision,” and all comments have been deleted from its Facebook page. The posts announcing Palin’s appearance, as well as the one announcing the cancellation, also appear to have been removed from the group’s Facebook wall. Hmm, does something smell fishy in Glendale?

THIS JUST IN: In what appears to be a massive blow to Glenn Beck‘s wildly hallucinatory conspiracy theory that the Muslim Brotherhood will take control of Egypt and convert it to an Iran-style Islamic state, the opposition party has demonstrably stated that such is not the case. On Wednesday, the party issued a statement which reads, “The MB regards the revolution as the Egyptian People’s Revolution not an Islamic Revolution. The Egyptian People’s Revolution includes Muslims, Christians, from all sects and political parties.” Well, for Beck it is back to the drawing er, black-board.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Been There, Done That” features Senator Ron Paul (R-TX) who says that he is strongly considering another unsuccessful run for the Presidency in 2012.

THIS JUST IN: Just thinking out loud here, but when Google executive Wael Ghonim went missing in Egypt last week, couldn’t they just have “Googled” him to find his whereabouts?

BREAKING NEWS: One person was killed and eleven others were injured last week at a Youngstown (Ohio) State University frat party when two men fired shots into the crowd. QUESTION: How long will it be before someone on Fox News ponders aloud as to whether the shooters were either Muslims or Democrats or both?

THIS JUST IN: Rumor has it that inasmuch as the Tea Party is tired of the way the “lamestream” media treats them, they have elected to publish their own magazine titled “Tea Party Review”. The Week reports, that the magazine  “will hit the stands at the Conservative Political Action Conference to be held in Washington this weekend. For $34.95 a year, subscribers can steep themselves in articles on Obamacare repeal and prominent black conservatives, and a comic strip about a Tea Party congressman taking on the “Red Chinese.” Just imagine some of the potential articles such as “Creative New Ways To Make Posters And Spell”, or “Let’s Tea-Bag With Gay Republicans!”. The possibilities are endless.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Timing Is Everything” features the State of Utah which is considering a bill that recognizes the semiautomatic Browning M1911 handgun as an official state symbol. The idea itself is crazy but the timing is even worse inasmuch as a similar firearm was used in the recent Tucson, Arizona massacre. What’s next, the official state polygamist?

THIS JUST IN: Lynnrockets would like to extend warm wishes  and good luck to Keith Olbermann, the former MSNBC host who will now host a prime time program for Current TV, the cable channel co-founded by Al Gore. We also hope that his potential audience can somehow locate the chanel on which Current TV is broadcast. It won’t be easy.

BREAKING NEWS: Sarah Palin was punished for skipping the CPAC conference for the fourth year in a row. In the annual straw poll for the attendees’ preference for President, Sarah Palin came in a measly 9th place, with only 3% of the votes. This was a terrible showing for someone who fancies herself a champion of conservative and who just this week hired a high profile chief of staff. Some unknown named Gary Johnson finished ahead of the Queen of Quit. Ouch, this is going to leave a mark.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Family Values Republicans Gone Bad” features Rep. Christopher Lee (No, not the actor from those Hammer horror films) of New York. He abruptly resigned Wednesday after it was revealed that the married congressman had tried to meet a woman on Craigslist and posted a topless photo of himself for that purpose. Lee now joins Ronald Reagan, Newt Gingrich, John McCain, David Vitter, Mark Foley, Larry Craig, Rudolph Giuliani, Ted Haggard, Bob Allen, Glenn Murphy, Jr., Mark Sanford and John Ensign as Republican family values adulterers. Lynnrockets’ guess is that John Boehner (pronounced “boner” and for good reason) will be next.

Rep. Christopher Lee (R-NY) on Craigslist.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Walk Like An Egyptian song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lc5jjHhD9BY

WALK WITH AN ERECTION

(sung to the Bangles song “Walk Like An Egyptian”)

All the G.O.P.s in bedrooms
They do the sex dance with their hoes
They’re getting their kicks (oh whey oh)
They think that their wives will never know

There sat Larry Craig with a smile
Hoping to score a tete-a-tete
He set for awhile (oh whey oh)
On the airport Men’s Room toilet

Cleans his pipe with a Handy Wipe play
Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh
Walk with an erection

Mark Sanford goes missing for days
In South America for a score
He’s got the moves (oh whey oh)
But he’s a fink and his gal’s a whore

John Ensign met his while at work
Along with her son and her husband
He paid them like kings (oh whey oh)
No talking of his erection

All the guys in the G.O.P. say
Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh
Walk with an erection

(marital affair break)

Newt Gingrich left his wife with no tact
In the cancer ward on her back
Life is hard you know (oh whey oh)
He even took her new Cadillac

Mark Vitter pulled out all the stops
His escorts charged him the very tops
They sing and dance (oh whey oh)
Spent his way right into hawk

Then there’s Mark Foley with his men
He says he won’t do it again
But those heinies know (oh whey oh)
He works with a big erection

All the boys in the G.O.P. say
Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh
Walk with an erection
Walk with an erection

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Posted on February 13, 2011, in Fox News, Glenn Beck, Keith Olbermann, Ron Paul, Sarah Palin, Songs, Tea Party and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. Love today’s song parody (per usual)!! Why is it that morons like Rep. Lee think they won’t get caught after posting a picture on the INTERNET?!?! Not that it matters, but it is such a RIDICULOUS picture. Looks like a pose a teenager would strike; cell phone camera in one hand while attempting to show off his muscles/”guns” with the other arm. One can only assume that he must have a huge…EGO (what did you think I was going to say?!) to do something so stupid. Seriously, though. These guys are the embodiment of John Hyatt’s song, “I’m So Easily Led When the Little Head Does the Thinkin'”. SO true!!!

  2. Oops…knew I spelled his name wrong. It’s John Hiatt, not Hyatt. I need more coffee!

  3. Come on, she was Sanford’s soul mate! 😉

    Funny, one of the Browning’s heirs lives quite close to me. A friend of mine had sent me the info with the comment “kinda like how CT has a state flower.”

    Nice work on the song, lynnrockets.

  4. Defense of Marriage Act

    Lee was gone so quickly that Vitter and Ensign never had a chance to talk him out of resigning. It’s a shame because he would have made a great spokesman for the First Lady’s “Let’s Move” fitness campaign.

    Of course, Lee isn’t guilty of anything quite so heinous as Tom Delay’s turn on Dancing with the Stars: his mincing and prancing about was an affront to human dignity that probably has our Founding Fathers turning in their graves to this very day!

  5. Special Comment (h/t to KO)

    You thought the leaden winter would bring you down forever,
    But you rode upon a steamer to the violence of the sun.
    And the colours of the sea bind your eyes with trembling mermaids,
    And you touch the distant beaches with tales of brave Ulysses,
    How his naked ears were tortured by the sirens sweetly singing,
    For the sparkling waves are calling you to kiss their white laced lips.
    And you see a girl’s brown body dancing through the turquoise,
    And her footprints make you follow where the sky loves the sea.
    And when your fingers find her, she drowns you in her body,
    Carving deep blue ripples in the tissues of your mind.
    The tiny purple fishes run laughing through your fingers,
    And you want to take her with you to the hard land of the winter.
    Her name is Aphrodite and she rides a crimson shell,
    And you know you cannot leave her for you touched the distant sands
    With tales of brave Ulysses, how his naked ears were tortured
    By the sirens sweetly singing.
    The tiny purple fishes run lauging through your fingers,
    And you want to take her with you to the hard land of the winter.

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