Sarah Palin Is Radioactive

She's radioactive!

Another snow-storm in Boston this morning. This of course, means more shoveling. We will get to that after this, however…

Finally someone over at Fox News has gotten it right. This is a near miracle in that anyone who ever “takes one for the team” and watches any Fox News program ends up feeling that they are in some sort of alternative universe where fiction is fact and myth is reality. There is seldom a sentence of truth uttered on Fox.

That is precisely why it was so astounding to hear Brit Hume speak the truth during last week’s edition of “Fox News Sunday.” During a discussion about Sarah Palin’s ill-conceived and poorly delivered video message following the Tucson massacre, Hume attempted to broadly define “The Sarah Palin Problem.” He believes on balance the video didn’t help her and he would expect Palin to be more thoughtful with her public statements. Hume said,

“The Sarah Palin problem really is a problem that she has largely, I think through no fault of her own, become kind of radioactive. And it does mean that when she is in a situation like this where she’s the focus of national attention, she must be extremely careful about how she reacts to it.”

Radioactive. Think about that for a moment. Is there any one word that more accurately describes Sarah Palin? She is indeed, radioactive. She is powerful yet repulsive. She is omnipresent yet poisonous. She is harmless in small doses yet lethal in large doses. Radioactive is the perfect description of Sarah Palin.

But how will Brit Hume be punished by the Fox Network for the unforgivable crime of dissing Sarah Palin? The precedent may have been set earlier this week when Comedian Joan Rivers was banished from an appearance on “Fox and Friends” after having said Palin “is just stupid and a threat.” Fox claims that her appearance was canceled due to the “volume of news topics” that day. The news topics they covered however, included National Penguin Awareness Day, and an assessment of the Aerosmith frontman Steven Tyler’s performance as a judge on “American Idol”. Fox said that she should have been rescheduled but was mistakenly canceled. And if you believe that, I’ve got some mudflats in Alaska that I would like to sell you.

Brit Hume’s punishment is likely to be much more harsh because Palin has been described as “stupid and a threat” many times, but being called “radioactive” is going to leave a mark that cannot be covered up with make-up and powder. Ouch! We are waiting with baited breath for the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska’s knee-jerk retort via Twitter, Facebook or her newest toy, the video-tape presentation. Come-on Sarah don’t sugar-coat it, just tell us how you really feel about these most recent slights.

“Radioactive”, I love it.

With that in mind, we now turn to the 1980’s English supergroup, The Firm. The band was comprised of former Free and Bad Company singer Paul Rodgers, ex-Led Zeppelin guitarist Jimmy Page, ex-Uriah Heep and Manfred Mann’s Earth Band drummer Chris Slade and bass player Tony Franklin. Their biggest hit was the song “Radioactive” which reached #28 on the U.S. charts in 1985.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Radioactive song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=di3CLFj6_Ag

RADIOACTIVE

(sung to The Firm song “Radioactive”)

Palin is uptight
And so reactive
Brit Hume got it right
Palin’s radioactive
Radioactive

She’s not too bright
Yes, her mind’s inactive
She’s wound way too tight
Palin’s radioactive
Radioactive

She does not have a clue
They love her on Fox News, baby
She lies each day or two
And Brit wants her to know…

She inspires hate
She’s hyperactive
Palin is a blight
Yes, she’s radioactive
Radioactive

(Blood libel break)

Radioactive
Radioactive

She has guns to cling to
She’s “reloading” also, too
She loves being on Fox News
But, Brit wants her to know…

That the fourth estate
Finds her attractive
Cuz she’s never right
Palin’s radioactive, oh yeah
Oh she’s radioactive
Don’t you stand, stand too close
You might catch it

Don’t stand too close, baby
Radioactive, oh yeah
Radio, radio, radio
Radioactive

 

SPECIAL NOTICE:

Making a Difference in Anchorage

Alaskans are the people who seem to know Sarah Palin best, and object to her most.  Democrats, Independents, and Republicans are each susceptible to PDS (Palin Derangement Syndrome).  Hope is coming to Alaska.  Malia Litman, blogger at malialitman.wordpress.com and author of The Ignorance Virtues of Sarah Palin: A Humorous Refudiation of the Half-Term Ex-Governor  will be at Borders at 1100 E. Dimond Blvd, Anchorage on Sat. Jan. 22nd at 2:00.  Malia will give a presentation and sign books, guaranteed to provide much needed relief for PDS.  If you are one of the unfortunate Americans afflicted with this disability condition, come to Borders on Saturday.  Together we can find comfort and therapeutic relief for our ailment.  Please join Malia.

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Posted on January 21, 2011, in Fox News, Sarah Palin, Songs and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. Yucca Mountain, baby!

    She should just go there with Ms. Second Amendment Remedies and stay there, please!

  2. Toxic Waste Dump

    How else to explain things to Fox’s attentive viewers? That nice “real” American lady who makes the occasional guest appearance on Hannity (her reality show was truly awful) isn’t going to be of any use to Murdoch (her poll numbers are terrible) or to the GOP (she’s unelectable) because through no fault of her own (she’s such an idiot) she’s become radioactive (the rest of the media not quite as fair and balanced as Fox).

    She must be extremely careful (she has a one year contract).

  3. Radioactive, definitely, but “through no fault of her own?” Really Mr. Hume, really? Is this phrasing how you hope to avoid repercussions from your Fox overlords? Good luck with that.

  4. The Huckster: waiting-very patiently-for everybody to get really, really “sick and tired” of Mama Grifter before making a move on the fundie vote. In the meantime, still gainfully employed at Fox!

    http://wonkette.com/435787/mike-huckabee-waiting-until-summer-to-decide-if-he-wants-to-lose-again

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