Daily Archives: January 21, 2011

THIS JUST IN: Palin Drops Below The Mendoza Line

If You're Failing And You Know it, Clap Your Hands1

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term, the Mendoza Line is an informal term used in baseball for the threshold of incompetent hitting. The Mendoza Line is said to occur at .200, and when a player’s batting average falls below that level, the player is said to be below the Mendoza Line. It is often thought of as the threshold below which a player’s presence in Major League Baseball cannot be justified. The term is named for former shortstop Mario Mendoza, a flashy defensive player who struggled at the plate. Although Mendoza’s batting average was .215 lifetime, he was known as a sub-.200 hitter whose average frequently fell into the .170 to .180 range during any particular year.

Sarah Palin is now the Mario Mendoza of American politics. According to a CBS News/New York Times poll of registered voters, just 19% now have a favorable view of Palin, compared to 57% who have an unfavorable view. If a 20% approval rating is the equivalent of baseball’s .200 Mendoza Line, then this poll reveals that the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska’s “presence in Major League Politics cannot be justified.” The poll of registered voters was conducted between January 15th and the 19th.

Examiner.com reports that “at this point it is hard to imagine Palin being able to make a successful presidential run with her current numbers.  President Obama now has a job approval rating above 50% in many polls.  President Obama’s favorability numbers are often higher, as many Americans who are upset with his policies still like the President as a person.” The website goes on to say, “Palin has been introduced and now endlessly exposed to Americans.  It appears Palin exposure over the last two years has worked to her detriment when it comes to her favorability ratings.”

Gee, do you think? The self-professed media-hating Palin cannot find a media outlet upon which she is unwilling to display herself on a daily basis. Whether it be via Facebook, Twitter, guest hosting on Fox News, her un-reality TV series or her most recent dip into the waters of self-produced video speeches, Sarah Palin’s mug is everywhere at all times. And guess what? The American people are justifiably tiring of her constant negativism, combativeness, self-victimization and whining.

If her poll numbers continue to plummet during the campaign season, it is only a matter of time before the Teapublicans cut Sarah Palin from the team.

Now you Rocketeers can probably guess where this is going.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s always popular song parody.

Rawhide song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldkxqiosXYY

POLL-SLIDE

(sung to the TV theme of, “Rawhide”)

Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Poll Slide

Keep movin’, movin’, movin’
People disapprovin’
Sarah’s not improvin’, Poll-Slide!
She cannot understand ‘em,
She hopes results are random,
Soon she’ll be in a double-wide.
There’s no way of definin’
Just why the polls declinin’, declinin’ like a massive
Landslide.

Headin’ down, movin’ fast,
Losin’ ground, ship her out,
Headin’ down, movin’ fast
Poll-Slide!
Kick her out,  shoot her down,
Send her home, push her out,
Kick her butt, fallin’ fast
Poll-Slide!

Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Her eyeballs are ballin’
How come no-one’s callin’?
Poll-Slide!
It looks like stormy weather
And she’s light like a feather
She’ll be swept under by the tide.
She’ll be unemployed soon,
A wolf killin’ buffoon,
And all this resultin’ from her lies

Headin’ down, movin’ fast,
Losin’ ground, ship her out,
Headin’ down, movin’ fast
Poll-Slide!
Kick her out,  shoot her down,
Send her home, push her out,
Kick her butt, fallin’ fast
Poll-Slide!

Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Fallin’ Fallin’ Fallin’
Poll Slide

SPECIAL NOTICE:

Making a Difference in Anchorage

Alaskans are the people who seem to know Sarah Palin best, and object to her most.  Democrats, Independents, and Republicans are each susceptible to PDS (Palin Derangement Syndrome).  Hope is coming to Alaska.  Malia Litman, blogger at malialitman.wordpress.com and author of The Ignorance Virtues of Sarah Palin: A Humorous Refudiation of the Half-Term Ex-Governor  will be at Borders at 1100 E. Dimond Blvd, Anchorage on Sat. Jan. 22nd at 2:00.  Malia will give a presentation and sign books, guaranteed to provide much needed relief for PDS.  If you are one of the unfortunate Americans afflicted with this disability condition, come to Borders on Saturday.  Together we can find comfort and therapeutic relief for our ailment.  Please join Malia.

Advertisements

Sarah Palin Is Radioactive

She's radioactive!

Another snow-storm in Boston this morning. This of course, means more shoveling. We will get to that after this, however…

Finally someone over at Fox News has gotten it right. This is a near miracle in that anyone who ever “takes one for the team” and watches any Fox News program ends up feeling that they are in some sort of alternative universe where fiction is fact and myth is reality. There is seldom a sentence of truth uttered on Fox.

That is precisely why it was so astounding to hear Brit Hume speak the truth during last week’s edition of “Fox News Sunday.” During a discussion about Sarah Palin’s ill-conceived and poorly delivered video message following the Tucson massacre, Hume attempted to broadly define “The Sarah Palin Problem.” He believes on balance the video didn’t help her and he would expect Palin to be more thoughtful with her public statements. Hume said,

“The Sarah Palin problem really is a problem that she has largely, I think through no fault of her own, become kind of radioactive. And it does mean that when she is in a situation like this where she’s the focus of national attention, she must be extremely careful about how she reacts to it.”

Radioactive. Think about that for a moment. Is there any one word that more accurately describes Sarah Palin? She is indeed, radioactive. She is powerful yet repulsive. She is omnipresent yet poisonous. She is harmless in small doses yet lethal in large doses. Radioactive is the perfect description of Sarah Palin.

But how will Brit Hume be punished by the Fox Network for the unforgivable crime of dissing Sarah Palin? The precedent may have been set earlier this week when Comedian Joan Rivers was banished from an appearance on “Fox and Friends” after having said Palin “is just stupid and a threat.” Fox claims that her appearance was canceled due to the “volume of news topics” that day. The news topics they covered however, included National Penguin Awareness Day, and an assessment of the Aerosmith frontman Steven Tyler’s performance as a judge on “American Idol”. Fox said that she should have been rescheduled but was mistakenly canceled. And if you believe that, I’ve got some mudflats in Alaska that I would like to sell you.

Brit Hume’s punishment is likely to be much more harsh because Palin has been described as “stupid and a threat” many times, but being called “radioactive” is going to leave a mark that cannot be covered up with make-up and powder. Ouch! We are waiting with baited breath for the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska’s knee-jerk retort via Twitter, Facebook or her newest toy, the video-tape presentation. Come-on Sarah don’t sugar-coat it, just tell us how you really feel about these most recent slights.

“Radioactive”, I love it.

With that in mind, we now turn to the 1980’s English supergroup, The Firm. The band was comprised of former Free and Bad Company singer Paul Rodgers, ex-Led Zeppelin guitarist Jimmy Page, ex-Uriah Heep and Manfred Mann’s Earth Band drummer Chris Slade and bass player Tony Franklin. Their biggest hit was the song “Radioactive” which reached #28 on the U.S. charts in 1985.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Radioactive song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=di3CLFj6_Ag

RADIOACTIVE

(sung to The Firm song “Radioactive”)

Palin is uptight
And so reactive
Brit Hume got it right
Palin’s radioactive
Radioactive

She’s not too bright
Yes, her mind’s inactive
She’s wound way too tight
Palin’s radioactive
Radioactive

She does not have a clue
They love her on Fox News, baby
She lies each day or two
And Brit wants her to know…

She inspires hate
She’s hyperactive
Palin is a blight
Yes, she’s radioactive
Radioactive

(Blood libel break)

Radioactive
Radioactive

She has guns to cling to
She’s “reloading” also, too
She loves being on Fox News
But, Brit wants her to know…

That the fourth estate
Finds her attractive
Cuz she’s never right
Palin’s radioactive, oh yeah
Oh she’s radioactive
Don’t you stand, stand too close
You might catch it

Don’t stand too close, baby
Radioactive, oh yeah
Radio, radio, radio
Radioactive

 

SPECIAL NOTICE:

Making a Difference in Anchorage

Alaskans are the people who seem to know Sarah Palin best, and object to her most.  Democrats, Independents, and Republicans are each susceptible to PDS (Palin Derangement Syndrome).  Hope is coming to Alaska.  Malia Litman, blogger at malialitman.wordpress.com and author of The Ignorance Virtues of Sarah Palin: A Humorous Refudiation of the Half-Term Ex-Governor  will be at Borders at 1100 E. Dimond Blvd, Anchorage on Sat. Jan. 22nd at 2:00.  Malia will give a presentation and sign books, guaranteed to provide much needed relief for PDS.  If you are one of the unfortunate Americans afflicted with this disability condition, come to Borders on Saturday.  Together we can find comfort and therapeutic relief for our ailment.  Please join Malia.