Will This Palin Saga Have A “Happy Ending”?

Todd Palin enjoys a little R&R

There is nothing like a Republican sex scandal to heat up a cold January afternoon. And, when that scandal involves the Palins, the temperature (among other things) really begins to rise. Lets just say that this story is sure to rub somebody the wrong way.

The National Enquirer is reporting that Todd “First Dude” Palin has been cheating on wife Sarah with an Alaskan prostitute. Allegations of Todd Palin’s affair surfaced on January 4th, when an anonymous source, using the e-mail address thepalinmorals@hotmail.com, sent the sordid story of Todd’s affair to various news outlets.  The e-mails claimed that “a massage therapist and computer technologist, Shailey Tripp, had an affair with Todd Palin that lead (sic) to her arrest March of 2010,”   The source went on to explain that Tripp’s neighbors saw Todd visit the aptly named Shailey Tripp often and they always heard “noises that sounded like someone was having sex.” Tripp was arrested for “maintaining” a house of prostitution in Anchorage on March 4, 2010.  She pleaded no contest to the charges in June and her sentencing is set for June 15, 2011.

Holy Body Lotion, Batman! Does this spell even more trouble for Sarah Palin? What with the unwed pregnant teen daughter, the disastrous television interviews, the quitting as Alaska’s Governor, the crib-noted palms, the ten foot fence, the sniper-sight cross-hairs and now this sex scandal, well, that is certainly more than most under-educated, verbally-challenged reality-television stars could handle. It goes without saying, that if there is any truth to the infidelity, Todd better run from the dim-witted gal with a gun.

As for Sarah Palin, her political aspirations need a sex scandal like they need a “bridge to nowhere.” This time it will be the American voters who say, “Thanks, but no thanks.” In short, they will “refudiate” her.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

The Ballad Of John And Yoko song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_t3oaPNJieg

THE BALLAD OF TODD AND SARAH (Version Two)

(Sung to the Beatles song “The Ballad of John and Yoko”)

Standing in the airport at Juneau,
Todd sporting his new campaign-bought pants.
But then SarahPac
Said,“They’ve got to go back”,
“You look just like a homo from France.”

Christ you know it ain’t easy,
You know how hard it can be,
To play second fiddle,
To the Caribou-Barbie.

Finally flew into Indiana
Sarah giving a Pro-Life speech
Her decision rejoiced,
As to her Baby Trig choice.
Because she practiced exactly what she preached.

Christ you know it ain’t easy,
Sarah admitted as much.
She did have a choice, though
She would deny one to us.

Meanwhile in his home-state of Alaska,
The First Dude was beginning to cheat.
He had not one fear
That a massage to his rear,
Would be reported in a tabloid broad-sheet

Christ you know they’re so sleazy,
Just watch them on the TV
The whole Palin family
Lives out a life of deceit

Keeping every penny of per-diem pay,
Lying about clothes to charity,
Daughter that’s unwed,
Boyfriends in her bed.
Her chances of  election
Pretty low – Think!

Relatives all getting arrested.
Family dignity in free-fall.
Constituents claim,
“Sarah is to blame”
Not much of a role-model at all.

Christ you know it ain’t easy
You know how hard it can be.
You know where she’s going?
Into the Party of Tea.

How did we choose Sarah to begin with?
She is just a political hack.
A dumb “hockey mom”,
That can’t think and chew gum.
Why didn’t we elect “Joe Sixpack?”

Christ she makes us uneasy.
In Yiddish we say, “Oy Vey.”
We’d love to replace her
With our good friend, Tina Fey.
We’d love to replace her
With our good friend, Tina Fey.

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Posted on January 20, 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. OY!

    “Anonymous said…
    Mem’s Political Scrapbook has the info correct: Track is the local dentist’s son who died in an airplane crash. Sarah was pregnant with another man’s child when she married Todd. Sarah had several affairs while married–and on her medical records, it states there was an abortion. Sarah tried to get the medical office where she went to call it a miscarriage and they refused. Todd’s business partner and Sarah has an affair–and Sarah was to be named in the filing for divorce by his wife but she paid off Brad’s wife not to be named–and the couple decided to work on their marriage and the business partnership was dissolved. Todd is the father of Trigg but Sarah is not the mother. That is why her staff in the Governor’s Office said that she never looked pregnant except for the one month before he was born, and they thought it was padding being used to conceal a lie. It is correct about Track being sent to Michigan because of drug problems and problems with the law–and that is why he has nothing to do with his Mom now. Bristol was sent away to live with Aunt Heather Bruce because she was pregnant. Willow is no longer living at home. Todd refused to join Sarah on a lot of the activities shown on her Reality Show but her Dad and Chuck wanted to get the money coming their way, too. Todd will stay married as long as the money continues to come rolling in–but he lives a separate life from Sarah and enjoys his boats, planes, hangars, snow machines and ATV’s and he schedules Bristol and Sarah to be gone quite often so he can come and go as he pleases. Once Sarah’s political and speaking careers are over, Todd will be gone. All Sarah wants him to be is discreet. From watching the Reality Show, it was obvious that all of the Palin kids knew that they were just pretending to like Sarah.
    January 19, 2011 7:16 PM

    http://alaskawtf.blogspot.com/2011/01/new-todd-palin-affair-rumors.html

  2. You rock, Lynnrockets! Damn, that was good. I mean, all of what you is good, no, great. And this one is no exception – your encyclopedic knowledge of music amazes me. Five stars, definitely.

  3. Tripping the light fantastic

    “Those who are impotent and limp and gutless and they go on their anonymous – sources that are anonymous – and impotent, limp and gutless reporters take anonymous sources and cite them as being factual references.”- Palin on Hannity’s radio show in response to the her Vanity Fair profile.

    She’ll surely knock this story down just as quickly! If it’s too soon to bother Hannity again, a quick tweet or a terse FB post will suffice. She did say she wouldn’t shut up, didn’t she?

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