Sarah Palin Stars In “Bad Will Hunting” (Rated: Predictable)

Coming in January to theatres throughout Nevada, Sarah Palin stars in”Bad Will Hunting”. Yes it is true. Fresh off of her sniper-sight symbol laden political ad aimed at recently shot Rep. Gabrielle Giffords and immediately following her soul-searching, “I Was The True Victim Of The Tucson Shooting Massacre” speech, Sarah Palin will appear at the Safari Club International’s annual hunter’s convention.

Not to be dissuaded in any way from advocating gun violence against defenseless animals, Sarah Palin has elected to come out with guns blazing as the keynote speaker at the event that is expected to draw thousands. It is obvious that the former ex-quitting half-term governor of Alaska cares little about the fact that appearing at the convention will once again connect her directly with gun-play and violence at a time when this nation is still grieving the tragic events of January 8th. On the contrary, the Queen of Quit refuses to “retreat”. Instead, she will “RELOAD” by means of telling tall tales about “her past hunting experiences and how politics affect the current state of hunting and fishing.”

Perhaps she will explain why she looked like she had never held a gun in her life and was unable to load her rifle without assistance on the recently broadcast episode of her un-reality television show, before she finally shot a caribou after numerous misfires. Maybe she will reminisce about that time during her 2008 campaign when she had to be coached that the butt of the gun should be against her shoulder before firing. She might even enthrall the audience with a technical description of how her staff computer geeks were able to get those sniper-sights,..er “surveyor symbols”… to turn the color red whenever one of her targeted candidates lost an election. The possibilities are endless.

All kidding aside however, wouldn’t you think that Sarah Palin might make some attempt to distance herself from the gun culture so soon after the Tucson tragedy which she is so inexorably connected by means of her rifle-sight ad and gun-firing rhetoric? Just when most of the nation agrees that a “cooling-off” period is in order, Sarah Palin elects to double-down on her connection with the gun-toters of America. And don’t let Sarah or her supporters fool you. She is not appearing in Nevada merely to speak about the virtues (whatever those may be) of the apolitical sport of hunting. Oh no, she is there to talk about how “politics affect” the past-time. Now hold on one second while I slip on my Palinese decoder ring. Ah, there we go. Now I can decipher her Sarah-speak. In no uncertain terms, Sarah Palin will tell her audience that the Democrats are out to take away their guns and their bullets and they will be able to hunt no more.

Is anybody out there willing to wager that she will deliver a different message?

UPDATE

On Monday, the media-shy Sarah Palin slithered into the friendly confines of the Fox News network to be interviewed by her BFF, Sean Hannity. The televised love-fest was an obvious attempt by both Palin and her Fox News employers to rehabilitate the reputations of both the speaking-challenged Palin and the propagandist network. The attempt failed on both counts. First, Palin gaffed by saying that she removed her sniper-sight laden map on the day of the Tucson massacre because, “it was going to cause much heartburn” (emphasis supplied). The alleged journalism major apparently did not realize that the saying is, “to cause much heart-ache“. As for the Fox network and Hannity, they proved once again that they will never ask a tough question or follow-up to a Republican or a conservative. The entire interview was more akin to an infomercial than news coverage. Thankfully for all of us bloggers that love to expose the idiocy of Sarah Palin, she announced that she, “is not going to shut up”. Thank goodness. Now we will be able to maintain our diet of never-ending word salad.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

It’s Still Rock And Roll To Me link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBbo0slWMW4

IT’S STILL LOCK AND LOAD FOR SHE (Version Two)

(sung to the Billy Joel song “It’s Still Rock and Roll To Me ”)

What’s the matter with the clothes she’s wearing?
I believe they’re made from wolf hide
Maybe she should buy a new pair of glasses
She’s lookin’ just a bit pie-eyed
Just when you think Sarah’s sounding kinda murky,
She gives an interview while someone kills a turkey
Everybody’s talkin’ ‘bout polar bears
Funny, but it’s still lock and load for she

What’s the matter with the Queen of Conniving?
And her sniper-sight bullseye smile?
She associates with right-wing liars
As she travels for mile after mile
First she gave a speech in Minneapolis
Next she was headed right out to Indianapolis
Next day, Green Bay, then it’s off to LA
It’s still lock and load for she

Oh, it doesn’t matter what they say in the papers
‘Cause it’s always been the same damn scene.
She has to leave the state,
‘Cause the politics of hate dictate a nasty travel routine…
And ya know she’s raking in the green.

Her supporters all wear pink eye-blinders
And they love Sarah’s song and dance
They don’t care that she is brain-dead and crazy
And they just love it when she rants
They love it when Sarah winks and blinks her big peepers
She’s their idol and they love her, Jeepers-Creepers!
Defense funds, end runs, new guns for everyone
It’s still lock and load for she

What’s the matter with the company she’s keepin’?
Don’t she know that they’re out of touch?
Like Sarah, they lack a strong education
Can’t accuse them of knowin’ much
That seems to be OK with the G.O.P.
Who needs college when you have a G.E.D.
It’s the new cool, no school, milky eyes and mouth drool
And Sarah is the big Queen bee
Everybody’s talkin’ bout the new party
Funny, but it’s still the same G.O.P.

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Posted on January 18, 2011, in Fox News, Sarah Palin, Sean Hannity, Songs and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.

  1. Maybe she did mean “heartburn” — knowing that she would be critcized and called out for that poster would cost HER much heartburn, so she took it down?

    • If that were truly the context (which it was not) of her statement, then it would reflect even more poorly upon Palin. Such is the case, because she would then be saying that she was the victim of the Tucson massacre once again. This time she would be saying that she was the victim of her very own sniper-sight map. For the only person not even grazed by a bullet in the Arizona tragedy, Palin sure likes to paint herself as the only true victim.

      But no, it is pretty clear that the poorly-educated Palin simply screwed up her language yet again.

  2. What she seems to hunt best is her foot–so she can shoot herself in it.

  3. Blood Simple

    The grifter has a pretty cushy job, going on Hannity’s show just to say she won’t shut up (we know) even though she’s not part of the story (receiving death threats, darts, and arrows), and, since no one’s asking, to remind us she might or might not run for President (send money).

    Bill-O and Beck are probably quite pleased that Palin doesn’t have the courage to guest-star on their shows (they’re journalists, sort of).

  4. Great post. I have just one question: Is that really her in the bikini? Because if it is, she’s not as hot as I thought she was.

  5. Bring it on, I welcome your pathetic clowns uprising. hahahahahaha

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