Daily Archives: January 10, 2011

This Just In: “Hammer” To The Slammer

The Washington Post reports that,

“A judge ordered former U.S. House Majority Leader Tom DeLay to serve three years in prison Monday for his role in a scheme to illegally funnel corporate money to Texas candidates in 2002.

The sentence comes after a jury in November convicted DeLay on charges of money laundering and conspiracy to commit money laundering. DeLay was once one of the most powerful men in U.S. politics, ascending to the No. 2 job in the House of Representatives.

Senior Judge Pat Priest sentenced him to the three-year term on the conspiracy charge. He also sentenced him to five years in prison on the money laundering charge but allowed DeLay to accept 10 years of probation instead of more prison time.”

Another corrupt Republican bites the dust.

It was 2009 when the public last paid any attention to Tom Delay. He was a contestant on ABC‘s “Dancing With The Stars.” At the time he said, “I love dancing … you’ve got to love dancing if you’re from Texas. Conservatives can have fun too. Conservatives can let their hair down… and put on some dancing shoes.”

That is just the type of talk that should make Delay the most popular twinkle-toes in Cell Block D. Think any of his new inmate boyfriends will be interested in seeing how he performs the “Horizontal Bop?” Will they be viewing this video before he checks in to his new home?

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Jailhouse Rock song link:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gj0Rz-uP4Mk

JAILHOUSE BOP

(sung to the Elvis Presley song “Jailhouse Rock”)

He has to stay locked-up they will not grant him bail
The inmates love to watch Tom Delay shake his tail
His hips were pumpin’, he was shakin’ everything
You should have heard those knocked out jailbirds sing
Let’s rock, come on Tommy let’s rock
All his boyfriends in the whole cell block
Watch Tommy do the Jailhouse Bop

Tommy called his lawyer on the telephone
Asked if Judge Pat Priest could just throw him a bone
Told him he was man-meat for the whole biker gang
Lawyer said, “Thank him that you weren’t sent to hang”
Let’s rock, come on Tommy let’s rock
All his boyfriends in the whole cell block
Watch Tommy do the Jailhouse Bop

Should be servin’ seven but he’s servin’ three
He’s the cutest jailbird they ever did see
Bubba is delighted with Tom’s company
“Come on and do the Jaihouse Bop with me!”
Let’s rock, come on Tommy let’s rock
All his boyfriends in the whole cell block
Watch Tommy do the Jailhouse Bop

(money laundering break)

Tom Delay was a sittin’ there upon the throne
Way over in the corner weepin’ all alone
Then Bubba said, “Hey Tommy you got pretty hair”
“Now let me hear you Winnie like a chestnut mare!”
Let’s rock, come on Tommy let’s rock
All his boyfriends in the whole cell block
Watch Tommy do the Jailhouse Bop

Shifty Henry said to Bugs, “For heaven’s sake”
“Is that really his hammer or is it fake?”
Bugsy said to Shifty, “Buddy don’t get sick”
“But hope Tom sticks around awhile performing tricks”
Let’s rock, come on Tommy let’s rock
All his boyfriends in the whole cell block
Watch Tommy do the Jailhouse Bop

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Monday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 65

Just a few newsworthy events (and comments thereon) that have been making their way through the political universe this past week. Please ponder and maybe chuckle a bit before enjoying a wonderful and hopefully productive day!

BREAKING NEWS: It was announced on Tuesday that radio station WOR in New York has dropped Glenn Beck‘s radio show as the result of poor ratings. Is it really any surprise that those well educated, elitist New Yorkers would have no reason to listen to Beck’s daily dose of misinformation? Will Philadelphia and Boston be next?

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Man With A Mission” features New York’s Democratic Party Senator Chuck Schumer. He has called for all Republican members of Congress who opposed last year’s health care reform legislation to decline the government provided health coverage for themselves and their families. Of course only one of those hypocrites has elected to turn down the health coverage that they hoped to deny their constituents.

BREAKING NEWS: Anyone else curious as to what really caused thousands of birds to fall dead from the Arkansas sky? Just wondering.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “I’m Not As Misguided As This Guy” feature’s Tucker Carlson of Fox News. Those of you that read this blog regularly will recall that I had a lengthy back and forth with a reader in the comment section of my posting about the Green Bay Packers last Sunday night. The reader felt that I went too far when I referred to the Philadelphia Eagles’ Michael Vick as the team’s “convicted felon and dog killing quarterback”. I defended my position by pointing out that I only spoke the truth. Vick is in fact, a dog killing convicted felon. The reader felt that I should lighten up on Vick, and maybe I should. Nevertheless, I certainly never went over the top with my dislike of Vick as did Tucker Carlson while filling in for Sean Hannity last week. Carlson actually called for Michael Vick’s execution. He said, “I’m a Christian, I’ve made mistakes myself, I believe fervently in second chances. But Michael Vick killed dogs and he did in a heartless and cruel way. And I think personally, he should have been executed for that.” I may dislike the guy but I certainly would not call for his execution. The folks at Fox News however always take an argument to its absurd extreme.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s “Fox News Comments.com” racist quote appears in response to the Fox News headline, “Should Congress Raise The Nation’s Debt Ceiling”. The comment: “Negro-nomics must end! Stop spending and start saving! The citizens best invest in ammo, lots of ammo!” OK then.

THIS JUST IN: Speaking of Fox News, those masters of misinformation are at it again. MediaMatters.com informs us that during the January 3 edition of Fox NewsFox & Friends, the co-hosts brought on Fox News contributor Dana Perino to discuss her comments on the Energy and Independence Security Act of 2007 in The Washington Post. During the segment, she claimed that the bill included a “ban on incandescent light bulbs.” Problem is, it does not. The Energy Independence and Security Act which was passed in 2007 by a Republican majority Congress and signed into law by George W. Bush, does not ban all incandescent bulbs, only inefficient ones. The Faux News slogan should be,  “Misinformation For The Mainstream Media”.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “The Real Death Panels of Arizona” features Arizona’s Republican Governor Jan Brewer. Since Brewer signed an executive order which cuts Medicaid funding to her state’s poorest residents, at least two people have died as the result of having their organ transplant claims denied. How’s that for an example of a Republican government bureaucrat coming between a doctor and his/her patient?

THIS JUST IN: Minnesota’s moonbat-crazy Republican Congresswoman Michele Bachmann made the news twice this week. First it was revealed that she is considering a run for the presidency in 2012. Then, just a day later, she introduced a bill to repeal the financial regulatory law recently enacted by the Democrats. The law’s co-sponsor Barney Frank (D-MA) lambasted the repeal effort in true flamboyant fashion. He said, “They yearn to return to the thrilling days of yesteryear, so the loan arrangers can ride again – untrammeled by any rules restraining irresponsibility, excess, deception, and most of all, infinite leverage.” The man has away with words and makes a more than valid point.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “The Misinformed” features the Fox News audience. A recent poll conducted by WorldPublicOpinion.org revealed that “Those who watched Fox News almost daily were significantly more likely than those who never watched it to believe that most economists estimate the stimulus caused job losses (12 points more likely), most economists have estimated the health care law will worsen the deficit (31 points), the economy is getting worse (26 points), most scientists do not agree that climate change is occurring (30 points), the stimulus legislation did not include any tax cuts (14 points), their own income taxes have gone up (14 points), the auto bailout only occurred under Obama (13 points), when TARP came up for a vote most Republicans opposed it (12 points) and that it is not clear that Obama was born in the United States (31 points). The effect was also not simply a function of partisan bias, as people who voted Democratic and watched Fox News were also more likely to have such misinformation than those who did not watch it–though by a lesser margin than those who voted Republican.” Anyone surprised?

THIS JUST IN: It would not be a newsworthy week without some mention of Sarah Palin, now would it? It is especially rewarding when we can mention Palin and conservative Pundit Ann “The Man” Coulter in the same story. This week the Coulter guy tweeted, “Great video: head of GOProud interviewed by retarded person on MSNBC,” and provided a link to this interview, in which Barron of Republican gay rights group GOProud defends the group’s conservative credentials to Cenk Uygur, after invitees of the Conservative Political Action Conference boycotted an event over the inclusion of Barron’s organization. You might remember that last year Sarah Palin called for the firing of Rahm Emanuel for using the word “retard” but gave a pass to both Rush Limbaugh and shock-jock Ted Nugent for using the same word. Will Palin now call out Coulter or defend her use of the word as she did with the two right wingers? What is your guess? Oh and by the way, Ted Nugent is showing Palin no love. This week he told Anderson Cooper that he would not vote for Palin if she runs for president.

BREAKING NEWS: Speaking of Sarah Palin, Enteratinment Weekly (EW) reports that there will be no second season of “Sarah Palin’s Alaska”. “EW did its due diligence and discovered there are no plans to send uber-producer Mark Burnett back to Wasilla with Palin, who’s lured an averaged 3.2 million viewers to TLC with her show. So this Sunday’s two-hour finale of Sarah Palin’s Alaska appears to be its last.” EW also states that “it makes sense why Palin wouldn’t want to commit to another season: If she and her family chose to shoot more episodes, it would surely be interpreted as a sign that she had no plans to run for office. By not doing a second round, Palin would spare TLC the trouble of having to provide her fellow candidates with equal-access time of their own in the event she did decide to run.” In Lynnrockets’ opinion, this is simply another charade by the Queen of Quit. If Palin agreed to film a 2nd season of her un-reality show this summer, it would reveal that she is not running for president. The only reason that Palin continues to draw the limelight and profit from it, is that she teases that she will run for office in 2012. As soon as it is certain that she will not run for the presidency, she is no longer newsworthy and her cash-cow will run dry. Consequently, Sarah Palin will do everything in her power to prolong the hype that she might run. As we all know however, in the end she is unelectable. Thank the Lord.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Imagine song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLgYAHHkPFs&feature=related

IMAGINE

(Sung to the John Lennon song “Imagine”)

Imagine there’s no Sarah
She’s in a doublewide
No more winks and blinks
No Bristol the child bride
Imagine all Alaskans
Living life in peace…

(Aye-hi-hi-i-i-i…)

Imagine “thanks but no thanks”
Was never said at all
There was no “Joe the Plumber”
She stayed at City Hall
Imagine Americans
Spared from Sarah P….

(You-hoo-oo-oo-oo)

You may say that we’re dreamers
But we’re having tons of fun
The First Dude claims she’s a screamer
And she’s certainly no nun

Imagine a “pig with lipstick”
I’m certain that you can
Remember Katie Couric
And Gibson, he’s “the Man”
Imagine all the people
Tina Fey also…

(You-hoo-oo-oo-oo)

You may say that we’re dreamers
But we’re not the only ones
Levi Johnston’s right with us
And he’s got Sarah’s grandson