Where, Oh Where Has Christine O’Donnell Gone?

Remember a few weeks ago when Christine O’Donnell the Tea Party/Republican nominee seeking Joe Biden’s former Delaware Senate seat announced that she would no longer speak to the national media and would only communicate with local Delaware-based media outlets for the duration of her campaign?

We could all understood her strategy at the time because she had recently been pummeled by a host of embarrassing revelations about both her personal and political past that had been uncovered by the national press.

First we learned of her call for a masturbation ban. Next, we learned that her campaign alleged that her Republican primary opponent, Mike Castle was gay. Then we learned that she had a college degree before she did not have a college degree before she finally received her college degree three weeks ago. That was followed by the revelation that she has been in debt for most of her adult life, failed to pay taxes and paid her personal expenses with campaign funds while she failed to pay wages to her campaign employees. All of that was followed by Bill Maher’s delicious video clips which show O’Donnell admitting that she “dabbled in witch-craft”, stating that she had a “date on a satanic alter”, proclaiming that “evolution is a myth” and most recently stating that she would have been a Hare Krishna but for the fact that she is “Italian and I love meatballs.” (Maher, by the way, claims that he will continue to release more embarrassing video clips each week leading up to the election).

Then, last week O’Donnell joined “the Twitter” and immediately emulated her mentor Sarah Palin by authoring an absolutely indecipherable tweet having something to do with “GOP porkers.” And that was followed by a new quote of her’s that also caused her campaign some non-meatball induced heartburn. CNN reported that according to the Associated Press, the unlikely Delaware GOP Senate nominee said in 2006 that she was “privy to” classified information that China was engaged in a “carefully thought out and strategic plan to take over America.” Of course, her ever-secretive campaign has refused to respond to questions as to just what type of “classified information” O’Donnell claims to have been “privy to” or why she had access to classified information in the first place.

As the result of all of this prying into her past by the well funded and research-capable national media, it is no wonder that O’Donnell has elected to only confer with the less well funded and presumably less research-capable local Delaware media outlets. That being said however, where in the wide, wide world of witchcraft has O’Donnell been since her announcement? We have not heard a peep from her other than her hilarious television advertisement in which she says, “I am not a witch”. Where are the reports from the local media?

Well, that is precisely what the good folks at CNN have been wondering. Political producer Shannon Travis reports:

Some local reporters that I’ve spoke to here in Delaware claim that the Republican Senate nominee has largely avoided the local media. O’Donnell has publicly stated she would avoid contact with the national press.

So we set out to find the candidate. Or, at least, information on her public campaign schedule.

My producer, cameraman and I drove to Delaware. This after sending numerous e-mails to campaign staffers and calling them repeatedly over the past eight days – each time getting scant response.

We arrived at O’Donnell’s new campaign headquarters in Wilmington, greeted by an empty receptionist’s chair. In the corner of the small room was a locked door, with sounds of voices heard on the other side.

We knocked until someone answered.

Two men emerged and asked for our credentials, but refused to identify themselves – at least initially. They later told us their names: Campaign Manager Matt Moran and Chris Merola.

They explained that O’Donnell is standing by her pledge to avoid the national press. But both men were emphatic that O’Donnell is not avoiding local media. They rattled off a list of local reporters and news outlets the candidate has spoken to since winning the Republican Senate primary three weeks ago.

Both men explained how the campaign is ramping up a staff that was small for the primary but needs to be much larger for the general election.

As for their initial suspicions about who we were, they explained that not everyone in the press is appropriately neutral -so they’re often leery of reporters.

Thanks CNN, for solving that mystery. Now the good people of Delaware can get back to the good work of electing Democrat Chris Coons to that Senate seat.

By the way, the two most recent polls show that Coons has a double digit lead over O’Donnell. A Fairleigh Dickinson University PublicMind survey released yesterday indicates that 53% of likely voters in Delaware are supporting Coons, with 36% backing O’Donnell (it is interesting to note that Fairleigh Dickinson is O’Donnell’s alma mater, so let’s see if she criticizes the poll). Additionally, a University of Delaware Center for Political Communication survey also released yesterday, shows that 49% of Delaware registered voters support Coons with 30% backing O’Donnell.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Sympathy For The Devil song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Je8MXiwmNIk


(sung to the Rolling Stones song “Sympathy For The Devil”)

Please allow me to introduce myself
I’m in the Delaware race
I’ve been around for a couple of years
And I never masturbate

Yes, I believe that Jesus Christ
Has spoken through my campaign
He’ll keep Bill Maher quiet
Seal his mouth as I spread hate

Pleased to meet you
Can you guess my name
But what’s puzzling you
Is my obsession with fame

Do you dare to trust my word
After I robbed my donors of their change
Paid my rent and then I secured
New furniture and a gas-fired range

The sulfur stank
Like a septic tank
On my witchcraft stage
Oh so dark and dank

Pleased to meet you
Can you guess my name, oh yeah
But what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah

That Sarah P.
Is my Tea-Bag Queen
I drank the Kool-Aid
That she proudly made

I shouted out
“Let’s kill Ted Kennedy”
Cuz his Health Plan’s
Killing you and me

Let me please introduce myself
I am Delaware’s disgrace
And a Tea Party troubadour
Singing lies every day of this race

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
Now what’s troubling you
Is the nature of my fame, oh yeah, get down, baby

(evolution denial break)

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
Now what’s confusing you
Is just the nature of my game, um yeah

Just as Medicare is criminal
Republicans are saints
Dumb as Dan Quayle
Just call me O’Donnell
Watch as I apply my war-paint

Coons will defeat me
He’ll refer to me
As the mental-case in this race
Use all his well-learned politics
As he lays my soul to waste, um yeah

Pleased to meet you
O’Donnell is my name, um yeah
Now what’s troubling you
Is the nature of my fame, um baby, get down

Woo, who
Oh yeah, get on down
Oh yeah

Oh yeah!

Chris O’Donnell, that’s my name
Tell me honey, don’t ya love my name
Chris O’Donnell, that’s my name
If I lose this race, you’re to blame

Ooo, who
Ooo, who
Ooo, who

Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Oh, yeah

What’s my name
Chris O’Donnell, that’s my name
Tell me, sweetie, what’s my name

Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Ooo, who, who
Oh, yeah

Posted on October 7, 2010, in Bill Mahar, Christine O'Donnell, Songs and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. Hilarious! Hope this gets picked up by the national media. Great work on the song.

  2. Home shopping

    O’Donnell is not at her best when she opens her mouth, and she certainly isn’t up to answering any lamestream media gotcha questions, but she does have a ton of money for campaign ads.

    When life gives you lemons, sell lemonade!

  3. Leave Trig alone!

    What a Moran. The gushing grifter unaware that Voodoo Economics was a derisive term coined by George (Herbert) Bush for Reaganomics: cutting taxes and hoping the resultant deficits would somehow magically disappear. (They didn’t).

  4. Sarah: I quit! Alaska: Thanks!

    Sarah should get O’Donnell in contact with her witch-hunter Pastor Thomas Muthee. Muthee could rebuke the spirit of witchcraft that has invaded O’Donnell.

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