Christine O’Donnell: This Witch Drank The Brew

Witches? Bitches? Or Both?

Like the famous Doctor Frankenstein, Sarah Palin has created her very own ungodly monster. Its name is Christine O’Donnell and she has emerged on the scene just in time to kick-off the Halloween season with tales of Satan-worship and witchcraft. Oh, this is just too good to be true.

What with the racist Rand Paul and the certifiably insane Sharron Angle, the Tea Party was already cursed for November’s general elections. Christine O’Donnell has just added to the Nightmare on Tea-Bag Street. This Sarah Palin endorsed “Mama Grizzly” has unexpectedly morphed into An American Werewolf in Delaware. She has more skeletons in her closet than Boris Karloff.

First, O’Donnell’s campaign took the hate-fueled approach of branding her Republican Party primary opponent Mike Castle as a homosexual in an attempt to inject prejudice and fear of the other into the race. Next, we learned that O’Donnell had lied about obtaining a college bachelor’s degree. The next few bones to fall out of the closet was the revelation that she has been in debt for most of her adult life, failed to pay taxes and failed to pay previous campaign debts including wages to her employees. Soon thereafter, things got a little crazy when we learned that O’Donnell believes that masturbation is akin to committing adultery. This stuff alone should be enough to dissuade any sane Delaware voters from considering O’Donnell as their next US senator come November, but now we have the latest revelation.

Hold your pointy black hats! Christine O’Donnell has admitted to practicing witchcraft and dabbling in Satanism. Bill Mahar, the host of HBO show “Real Time With Bill Mahar”, revealed a video of O’Donnell from his now-cancelled show “Politically Incorrect” from 1999 wherein the Christian senatorial hopefull said, “I dabbled into witchcraft – I never joined a coven. But i did, I did…I dabbled into witchcraft.” She then went on to describe one of her dates with a witch “on a satanic alter”. She said, “there was a little blood there and stuff like that. We went to a movie and then had a midnight picnic on a satanic alter.” Yikes, the evangelical christian sector of the Delaware GOP should be just thrilled with this. Let’s watch…

Oh please, Christine, do tell more. What, there is more? I was just kidding. Holy bats in the belfry, Batman! Bill Mahar says he has even more embarrassing tapes of O’Donnell which he will slowly air prior to election day unless she agrees to appear on his current program, “Real Time With Bill Mahar”. “It’s like a hostage crisis,” Maher warned O’Donnell on Saturday night. “Every week you don’t come on this show, I’m going to throw a new body out.”

Oh how the witch’s brew does boil and bubble! For Christine O’Donnell it sure spells trouble!

Will Sarah Palin and Mitt Romney still campaign on O’Donnell’s behalf or will this black magic stuff become the stake that finally dooms Count O’Donnell. Remember, back in 2008, it was Palin that made such a stink about Barack Obama’s association with Reverend Wright. Yet Wright looks like an angel when compared to the Satanists that O’Donnell was “pallin’ around with”. Tune in to Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off all this week for updates. Same bat time. Same bat channel.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s very topical song parody.

Witchcraft song link:


(sung to Frank Sinatra’s song “Witchcraft”)

This “Mama Grizzly” bear
That hails from Delaware
Christine O’Donnell snared
By witchcraft

And she’s got no defense for it
The heat is too intense for it
Palin has really stepped in it too

Christine’s witchcraft, wicked witchcraft
And she knows we know, it’s strictly taboo

Will this implode the Tea Party?
Confirming her insanity
Bringing down Palin and Romney too?

O’Donnell’s dug her ditch
Gay-baiting hate-fueled bitch
This tax evading witch is through

(masturbation break)

Christine’s witchcraft, her crazy witchcraft
Now we know that she’s been drinking the brew

Lied about her college degree
Non-masturbating prodigy
Renouncing Christianity too

Bill Mahar is now the snitch
Who threw the breaking pitch
Now we can bid this witch adieu!

Posted on September 20, 2010, in Christine O'Donnell, Mitt Romney, Republican, Sarah Palin, Songs, Tea Party and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. Hollywood couldn’t have come up with a more entertaining backstory. I just hope the don’t use Diebold voting machines in DE.

  2. I’m rubber, you’re glue

    No one puts Baby in the corner: “I was in high school, how many of you didn’t hang out with questionable folks in high school? But no, there’s been no witchcraft since, if there was, Karl Rove would be a supporter.”

    Palin is right! Never mind O’Donnell’s checkered background, Rove is just a good old boy “expert” politico from the GOP “elite establishment” party machine: “It is time to put aside internal power grabs and greed and egos within the Party and to fight united”.

  3. How do you know she’s a witch? She looks like one!

    • Wiccans up in arms

      Reverend Selena Fox, the High Priestess & Senior Minister of the Circle Sanctuary, a non-profit organization dedicated to promoting paganism and nature spirituality, is not pleased at being described as “questionable folk”.

      “Any political candidate that is going to equate witchcraft with Satanism is ill informed and is not likely to get the support of people involved in nature religion,” she said, noting that the pagan community was “multi-partisan” (and apparently quite large).

  4. (masturbation break) – too funny, great Python clip, also too! This from Think Progress – c’mon Delaware, pay attention – SIX years of this woman???

    • No matter how crazy CO’D gets, I’m still going as “Fake Pregnancy Palin with a Square Pillow” for Halloween. “Still scary after all these years.”

      The fact that the media doesn’t report the bullshit of $P with the same scrutiny as this CO’D is not a good sign for the state of journalism. Rebroadcasting the Twitler’s tweets is not reporting. Her Fake Facebook posts aren’t written by $P, yet the media acts as though it is written by her and not her handlers.

      • The Pillow’s name will honor my favorite comment from Wonkette on the subject:

        “NYNYNY 2 hrs, 26 mins ago Did you guys already forget Palin’s oldest daughter Orora Boree Alice Palin? She’s been away in Tora Bora.”

        If $P could only be sent to a cave there….

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: