Palins vs. Reality (TV): Round Three – Bristol

First we had Sarah Palin, the former half-term ex-quitting governor of Alaska dip her toe into the waters of reality television with her TLC show known as “Sarah Palin’s Alaska“. Next, we learned that Palin’s would-be son-in-law, Levi Johnston is shopping his own reality series titled “Loving Levi: The Road to the Mayor’s Office” in which Johnston will follow in the Naughty Monkey steps of Sarah and run for Mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Now we hear that Sarah’s daughter Bristol, the former unwed pregnant teen and current unwed twenty-something single mother, will appear as a contestant on next season’s “Dancing With The Stars“. Wow! Remember when Sarah Palin negatively alleged that President Barack Obama was a celebrity and compared him to Britney Spears and Paris Hilton during the 2008 presidential campaign? Did that ever prove to be the pot calling the kettle black (pun intended).

What is it with the Palin clan and their obsession with celebrity status? Really, how many normal families would aspire to have three members star in their own reality television series? Talk about low expectations. This group simply should have stuck together as one unit and promoted a joint sitcom possible titled “The Wasilla Hillbillies“. Heck, even the Gosselin family managed to keep nine out of their ten members on just one TV show.

What is next for the Palins? More reality shows? Maybe “Hey First Dude, Where’s My Car?” wherein Todd Palin will steal and then hide the automobiles of unsuspecting Wasilla residents. Or perhaps, the ever elusive Track might star in “Tracking Track“. Can you folks come up with any other suggestions?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Dancing Queen song link:


(sung to the ABBA song “Dancing Queen”)

She can dance, she’ll connive, someday she’ll be Levi’s wife
Scheming girl, pregnant teen, she is the dancing queen

Not too bright and her sights set low
Stepping out just to earn some dough
Where they play right-wing music, sporting her new bling
Let’s pray that she don’t sing

Baby Tripp is right by her side
Sarah Palin mulls suicide
First Dude, he’s sure to lose it. Here comes Palin decline
There’ll be no second chance
Let’s all watch Bristol dance…

Bristol’s the dancing queen, two left feet, unwed pregnant teen
Dancing queen, seeking green from the cash machine
(Oh yeah)
She’ll enhance her sex drive, and prove that she is pro-life
Bristol girl, on TV, she is the dancing queen

She’s a teaser, she leads boys on
Never makes them put condoms on
She’s the unwed teen mother soon to make Baby Two
She loves to take a chance
Let’s all watch Bristol dance…

Bristol’s the dancing queen, two left feet, unwed pregnant teen
Dancing queen, indiscrete on the TV screen
(Oh yeah)
What’s the chance she’ll survive? Will she make it to Round 5?
Bristol girl, on TV, she is the dancing queen
Bristol’s the dancing queen

Posted on August 31, 2010, in Bristol Palin, Levi Johnston, Sarah Palin, Songs, Television, Todd Palin and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. Nice work on the song—I hope it is spread far and wide.

  2. Don’t forget that Bristol is also being paid 40+ thousand dollars speakers fees to inform unwed teen girls of how diffcult it is to be a single mom . Really, when will these religous zealot teabaggers realize what a ride they are being taken on by these grifters !!!

  3. I’m just passing this on as a Wake Up Call. (i know YOU know Patrick):

    From Patrick at PalinGates, which is out of Germany. These people know exactly what is happening here:

    I have witnessed in Germany in 1992/93 how a racist “mass rage” can spin out of control.

    This kind of mass rage can easily happen again in other places as well. All you need is an incident, a reason to ignite the flame. There seems to be already a broad base of people in the USA who are heavily prejudiced against Muslims, and we have seen the first “incidents” against Muslims. What would for example happen if a Muslim “hits back” and hurts a “white person?” Wouldn’t that give people a reason to “strike” against the Muslims?

    That’s why Glenn Beck’s and Sarah Palin’s game is so dangerous: If you whip up the masses, you might as well see some (unwanted?) results.

  4. Restoring Honor

    Bristol cancelled the highly touted wedding with her baby daddy because she wanted a quiet life: “He’s just obsessed with the limelight and I got played.”

    No Matter! The pregnancy rumors, and the various boyfriends, have been vanquished in a triumphant return to glory that would have made Charles de Gaulle proud. The only question still unanswered is the reason for the promiscuous high school drop-out’s claim to stardom.

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