Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann: Foxy Ladies

The Big News Story/Non News Story of last week was that it was revealed that the parent company of Fox News recently donated  $1 million to the Republican Governors’ Association to help it campaign against Democrats. That startling revelation (sarcasm intended) should finally drive a stake through the heart of the historically false Fox News byline: “Fair and Balanced”. Indeed, Fox has now proven beyond doubt that it is simply the propaganda wing of the G.O.P.

That being said, it should also be noted however, that it is not just the Fox byline that is misleading and fiction based. The content of the network’s programming is also a mix of misinformation and outright lies. It is a well known fact that Fox will distort, creatively edit, or even fabricate evidence to support their narrative. Remember when Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity proclaimed that over two million people attended a Washington D.C. Tea Party event and aired photographs to prove it, only to be embarrassed when it was revealed (by other networks) that only 70,000 attended and the photos were revealed to have been taken at a different event some six months earlier? How about the time when Sarah Palin’s false “death panel” rumors started in August of 2009, and Fox News reported on a supposed, “death book” by the Veterans Health Administration? In lieu of actual reporting, Fox fanned the death panel flames by promoting a number of falsehoods that would have been cleared up had they actually read the thing. Then, there was the time the Fox News show America’s Newsroom made the claim that Obama’s $3.6 trillion budget is 4x bigger than Bush’s costliest plan. Of course that was a lie. Bush’s budgets for 2009 and 2008 were $3.1 and $2.9 trillion respectively. Fox News lives in an age where even a second grader could access that information in about 20 seconds.

Fox also likes to label all of their like-minded guests as experts. The network has no shame in amplifying the qualifications of any warm body that agrees with its narrative. There is War Expert (and convicted felon) Oliver North; Criminal Law Expert (and convicted felon) Mark Furman; Political Affairs Expert (and prostitute toe-sucking tax evader) Dick Morris; and Environmental Disaster Expert and former Hurricane Katrina era FEMA director Michael “heckuva job” Brown.

The network’s most recent alleged experts might be the most laughable of all. In the aftermath of the passage of the Health Care Reform Law, the Financial Reform Law and the recent appointments of Supreme Court Justices Sonia Sotomayor and Elena Kagan, Fox has crowned two new U.S. Constitution Experts. They are (are you ready for this?) Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann. Oh yes, Sarah Palin of the 5 sub-par colleges in 6 years culminating in a mere bachelor’s degree in journalism and Michele Bachmann of the fundamentalist evangelical law school degree and former tax lawyer both qualify as experts on the U.S. Constitution in the eyes of Fox News. Not surprisingly by Fox standards, President Barack Obama with his Ivy League undergraduate and law school degrees and his constitutional law professorship at the University of Chicago Law School does not so qualify.

Sarah Palin’s lack of knowledge regarding the Constitution first became evident when she appeared on Hannity and attempted to comment on the constitutionality of the aforementioned Health Care Reform Law. Without ever tying the bill’s provisions to the Constitution, Palin said,

“We’ve learned through America’s history that the government that governs least governs best, and that all political power is inherent in the people. Government originates just from the will of the people. It’s implemented according to the will of the people…The process that Pelosi is pushing right now is unconstitutional. This bill will not have been passed by both houses in Congress, and that’s unconstitutional. It’s cut and dry. It’s white and black. It’s quite clear to most Americans that this isn’t right, and not only again does it go against the will of the people, but it goes against our own constitution. What? Is the Constitution not worth the paper the paper it is written on then?”

Umm Sarah, just what does all that have to do with the specific provisions of the Health Care Reform Law? Oh, you don’t know either, huh?

Of course we also have witnessed Palin’s complete misunderstanding of the 1st Amendment to the Constitution in her defense of gay marriage opponent Carrie Jean Prejean and “n-word” spewing Laura Schlessinger. In each of those instances, when the orator’s speech was criticized by members of the private sector (and not by any governmental entity), Palin incorrectly insisted that her rights of free speech had been restricted in violation of said 1st Amendment. Any first year law student understands that the 1st Amendment prevents only the government from restricting free speech and not members of the private sector from exercising their rights to free speech by criticizing the content of another person’s speech. Then again, Palin never attended law school. That lack of qualification however, does not prevent Fox News from deeming her an expert on the U.S. Constitution.

Next we have Minnesota’s resident crackpot Republican Representative Michele Bachmann. Although she did attend law school, she never practiced or taught Constitutional law. Politicususa.com provided an illustrative example of Fox News pretending that she too, is a Constitutional expert. Bachmann appeared on the network’s Freedom Watch program which was hosted by former judge Andrew Napolitano. Napolitano prefaced a question about whether Congress takes the Constitution seriously by referring to Bachmann as, “You are also a well known expert on the Constitution.” Bachmann then babbled on about something called a constitutional conservative,

“There are people who do look to the Constitution for guidance, and those who don’t. I would say there is no moral equivalency however. I think the conservatives, the constitutional conservatives, tend to reside overwhelmingly in the Republican Party, and I think going forward this November any candidate who wants to win, needs to run as a constitutional conservative, because that’s what the American people are looking for.”

As Politicususa.com points out, the Fox host’s “question to Bachmann actually had nothing to do with an interpretation of a constitutional question, … it was just a chance for her to shill for November disguised as a constitutional question. That’s some Constitutional expert you’ve got there, Fox News. She is so good that you are too afraid to ask her any real questions about the Constitution.“

But really, isn’t that just the same kind of treatment Fox News gives all of its fictitious experts?

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Foxy Lady song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnkYatAT7NE

FOXY LADIES

(sung to the Jimi Hendrix song “Foxy Lady”)

Foxy
Foxy

These two, they’re a couple of smart-fakers
Foxy
But they’re just a couple of hate-mongers
Foxy

Fox makes them feel at home
Do they have any charm? No!
But they’re on all the time, prime-time
Ooh, Foxy ladies

Foxy
Foxy

Palin, she’s just so spiteful and mean
Ooh, Foxy
She makes us wanna get up and scream
Foxy
And Michele Bachmann now
Has just lost her mind
They’re both just wasting all our precious time
But Fox thinks they’re fine, so fine
Foxy Ladies
They’re so dumb

Foxy
Foxy
Foxy
Foxy

Yeah, just listen to them drone
As they sound they’re alarms, Whoa
Fox says they are so fine, prime-time
Foxy ladies

They’re just dumb ladies
We’d love to forget ya
Foxy ladies
You’re both no good
Yeah, Foxy
You’re both so dumb
Foxy
Sour lemonade
You’re spreadin’ fear. Yikes
Night and day on Foxy
Foxy
Foxy ladies
Foxy ladies