Levi Johnston Seeks Bully Pulpit

The mayor wears no clothes

Inasmuch as the final results of the numerous primary elections held Tuesday have not been released yet, Lynnrockets thought it might be fun to comment on another less heralded election bid. I’m sure that most of you have already heard that Sarah Palin’s once and future son-in-law Levi Johnston has announced his candidacy for Mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. It would appear that Johnston would like to follow closely in the footsteps of  the former half-term, ex-quitting Governor of Alaska and former Mayor of Wasilla. Not only is Johnston planning to run for mayor, but he is shopping a reality television series of his campaign at the same time. Even Sarah Palin never attempted such a blatant effort at cross-marketing and showboating. Palin’s reality television career did not take flight until well after she was embarrassingly defeated in the 2008 election.

If Johnston is elected, just imagine how proud the citizens of Wasilla will be to have yet another under-educated dolt running their city. What books might Levi choose to ban? Will Johnston have those same negotiating skills required to push through the construction of a tax-sucking civic building while at the same time having the developer secretly build him a house? Will he wear a three piece suit or his birthday suit? Perhaps we will learn the answers to these questions and more as Johnston’s campaign gets underway.

But what of the reality television series? It is tentatively titled “Loving Levi: The Road to the Mayor’s Office”. After failing in all of his previous attempts to land a series for himself, might this finally be Levi’s golden egg? Don’t count on it. “I’m just incredibly uninterested,” said one network’s executive in charge of unscripted programing. “We’ve seen him naked. We’ve heard him bash the Palins. What more is there that we need to know? He’s a cute kid but not the most interesting person to watch.” Another executive said, “I don’t think he’s a reality TV star. He just doesn’t pop; he’s not an interesting character. He doesn’t have a lot to say, no matter what his name is.” Ouch! If his show does get picked up by some obscure cable network (maybe Fox?), we can be sure that it will not be TLC, because as another TV executive has said, “They already picked their Palin.”

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Levon by Elton John song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lXOuZgm_eY

LEVI

(sung to the Elton John song “Levon”)

Levi is just like a circus clown
He just wants to please us
He should be ashamed
If he poses with his boxer shorts pulled down

Levi, Levi wants some money
He wants a lot they say
Spends his days hunting
When he’s not clubbing down in LA

He was born a pauper to his mom on the third of May
Bristol was his chum, she said, “let’s wed”
And they had a son
Tripp E. Johnston is that son today

And we still have Levi
And he is a manly man
And we still have Levi’s
Confrontations with the Palin Clan
And we still have Levi
Showing his full body tan
He shall be Levi

Levi plans to pull his whities down
He hopes his business thrives
He knows the magazines are gay
While claiming that he is not into guys

And Levi, he plans to show his penis
To anyone that will buy
Posing on a sailboat sailing
Sporting those,  hockey player thighs

He’ll be a showstopper not a bum by next Christmas day
First Dude will say, “where’s the support pay?”
And, “where is my gun?”
Levi, son, you’ll never get away

Yet we still have Levi
Sporting his full body tan
And we still have Levi
Pissin’ the Palins –off when he can
And we still have Levi
Spending time in Disney Land
He shall be Levi

And he shall be Levi
With that tattoo on his hand
And he shall be Levi
Avoiding Bristol is his new plan
And he shall be Levi
Posing for a hundred grand
He shall be Levi

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Posted on August 11, 2010, in Bristol Palin, Levi Johnston, Sarah Palin, Songs and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. Hillbilly Scott Brown for Mayor of Wasilla

    Yes he can! Palin won her election with just 446 votes, and then promptly hired an office manager to take care of the paperwork. Easy! Levi could run on a platform of legalizing and taxing local meth labs, with the promise of huge annual dividends for all residents. That’s how they roll!

    Levi’s show would definitely get higher ratings than CNN’s Wolf Blitzer and Larry King combined. It’s a win-win situation all round!

  2. He should become a condom model. I think that’s all that’s left for the kid.

  3. Me so horny

    Palin’s mentor gives enthusiastic endorsement to reality tv programming.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/08/11/john-mccain-snooki-too-go_n_678401.html

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