Conservative Boston Rag Exposes Palin Gaffes and Ignorance (UPDATED)

Wow, now even the conservative newspapers are pointing out Sarah Palin’s multiple recent gaffes. On Tuesday, the Boston Herald (Enquirer) revealed to its conservative readership that the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska knows not what she is talking about when it comes to geography, court decisions or  New Hampshire legislation. Mind you, this particular newspaper is merely the barely read conservative rag of a tabloid that plays a distant second fiddle to the city’s newspaper of record, The Boston Globe. Nonetheless, it is a good sign when a conservative arm of the media not only recognizes Sarah Palin’s ignorance but exposes it to the public. Kudos to the Boston Herald.

Alaska’s former Quitter-in-Chief waded into the waters of New Hampshire politics (the first presidential primary state) last week when she endorsed Republican Senate hopeful Kelly Ayotte. Predictably, Palin utilized the sophomoric means of communication known as Facebook to publish her ignorance. The Herald (Enquirer), which is usually a trusted ally of anything conservative, reported that Palin, in reference to Alaska’s Kodiac Island, said,

As we work and sightsee on America’s largest island, we’ll get to view more majestic bears, so now is a good time to draw attention to the political equivalent of the species.

Apparently, Palin does not realize that Kodiac is not “America’s largest island”. In fact, America’s largest island is Hawaii. To add insult to injury, the newspaper revealed that Palin should know a little something about Hawaii inasmuch as one of her many sub-par college stints took place there. By that measure, she should also know a little bit about Alaska and Idaho also too.

But that was not Palin’s only mistake. The conservative newspaper reported that Palin “also overlooked some key facts in saying Ayotte ‘battled all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court to protect the rights of New Hampshire parents — and won!’”  The Herald pointed out that Palin mentioned the case three times in seven paragraphs, concluding that Ayotte will fight for New Hampshire voters “just as passionately and fearlessly as she fought for you in the highest court of the land.”

Truth be told however, Ayotte (New Hampshire’s Attorney General at the time) never won the case in question. The case was never decided by the U.S. Supreme Court, and the law which she was defending (i.e. a requirement that there be 48 hour parental notification prior to a minor’s abortion) was repealed by the state’s own legislature prior to its enactment. Hence, Sarah Palin once again demonstrated a thorough lack of knowledge of Supreme Court decisions just as she did when she was famously quizzed by Katie Couric. Just for giggles, let’s take a look at that one once again, shall we?

Sarah Palin is a Moran (as that great Tea-Bagger sign once said) and it is nice to see that at least one conservative newspaper in the “lamestream media” is finally revealing that fact to its readers.


CNN now reports that in a blistering Op-Ed on the front page of the ultra-conservative New Hampshire Union-Leader‘s Wednesday edition, publisher Joseph McQuaid writes the former Alaska governor and vice presidential nominee knows little about the Granite State and even less about its residents.

Former Gov. Palin isn’t making these endorsements because, as she claims, she has spent time in New Hampshire and thus knows that the people here are a lot like Alaskans. She spent a few hours here on one day during the 2008 Presidential election. That’s still more time than she spent getting to know Ayotte, but it takes quite a bit longer to know New Hampshire. Don’t fret over what a “Mama Grizzly” from Alaska does, right now, Granite Staters have more to worry about in keeping bears away from bird feeders.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody which was suggested by regular Blast-Off reader, Ripley in CT.

The Ballad Of Davey Crockett song link:


(sung to the television theme song “Ballad Of Davey Crockett”)

Lives in a compound up in Wassilly,
Behind a big fence so Joe can’t see
She got a taste of being “Mavericky”,
So she quit her job as Alaska’s G
Sarah, Sarah Palin, the lipsticked mama bear!

Tea-Baggers follow her where she goes,
Starin’ at their tv’s when she’s on Fox shows
A Palin sighting sets them all aglow,
As she shakes their hands and then takes all their dough
Sarah, Sarah Palin, spreading her hate and fear!

Through Red State woods she’s a marchin’ along,
Makin’ up yarns like her “death panel” song
Her looks are frightenin’ and she smells quite strong,
She’s really just a liar with facts all wrong
Sarah, Sarah Palin, the brain-dead buccaneer!

Letterman said that she dresses like a whore,
Then she screamed so much that her throat got sore
She had money but she needed some more,
Got herself a Greyhound for her book tour
Sarah, Sarah Palin, profiteering pioneer!

She says the Lord is her guiding hand,
And dinosaurs co-existed with man
All those books that disagree should be banned,
That sciencey stuff she don’t understand
Sarah, Sarah Palin, logic she will not hear!

She believes that Congress should go to Hell,
She will send them there by castin’ a witch spell
Palin wants Washington to listen well,
To all those fabrications that she does tell
Sarah, Sarah Palin, the moonbat of the year!

When she goes home her politickin’ done,
Alaskans all will up and run
But Sarah will pick up her trusty gun,
And shoot up all her neighbors just for fun
Sarah, Sarah Palin, her rifle sight is clear!

She moved to Houston an’ Austin so,
To the southern states she just had to go
Tea-Baggers were fightin’ another foe,
And Sarah hates the immigrant Joe
Sarah, Sarah Palin, nativist without peer!

She’s not the smartest but she is dumbest,
Despite six schools could not pass a test
When it comes to being dumb she’s the best,
She should make her home in a cuckoo’s nest
Sarah, Sarah Palin, the lipsticked mama bear!

Posted on July 21, 2010, in Katie Couric, Republican, Sarah Palin, Songs and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. Good work on this song. Is the Herald read by the conservatives in Maine and New Hampshire since they have some Rs in Congress? Maybe it will have an effect if she does try to run in 2012.

    • Yes, inasmuch as Boston serves as the media hub for all of northern New England, The Herald (Enquirer) would be the paper read by conservatives (and people with limited vocabularies) in those states as well as Massachusetts.

      • Which way does the the New Hampshire Union-Leader lean? Besides the well-deserved smack at Palin’s Facebook writer’s endorsement of a person whose name $P can’t pronounce?

      • The New Hampshire paper is very conservative.

      • Guess the Mitt(wit) will win that state then.

        Loved the remark about people with limited vocabularies and The Herald, btw.

  2. Refudiation

    Not fair! Palin certainly writes her own stupid Twitter posts, but she isn’t stupid enough to attempt writing her own Facebook posts! SarahPAC pays a certain Rebecca Mansour to “manage” the FB page. (The Mudflats: Oyster Roundup 2010/7/16).

    How reassuring for SarahPAC donors! In fact, there’s plenty of evidence to suggest Palin doesn’t even read her “own” FB posts.

  3. The Herald critical of Palin? My God, was that a pig that just flew by my window? Pretty sure the Union Leader leans conservative. Politics aside, we New Englanders don’t usually take people trying to be “one of us” easily, especially someone attempting it in such a moranic, transparent and self-serving way as dear old Sarah. And also too, every time I see that video of her and the Supreme Court decisions question I can’t help but scream “how about EXXON VALDEZ you IDIOT!”

  4. thatcrowwoman

    Dear Lynnrockets,

    AKM’s latest post is ripe for your special treatment of These Boots Were Made for Walking!

    No mandation, mind you, but a heartfelt request.

  5. HAHAH!!!! Awesome job! I can just hear them singin’ it like this!

    Thanks Lynnrockets for another wish fulfilled!

  6. Kingcast, it looks as if she assaulted you and your camera and they then harrassed and intimidated you until you left the premises. Were you the only minority there? New Hampshire is out of control.

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