Happy Quitter’s Day

Lynnrockets would like to wish all of you loyal readers a most happy Quitter’s Day on the first anniversary of former Alaska Governor, Sarah Palin’s giving up on her state. It is with tears (of laughter) in our eyes that we look back one year to the day when Caribou Barbie decided to “go with the flow” in dead fish fashion. Who could forget the half term politician’s rambling speech lacking in detail but having something to do with a high school basketball game? Was there a dry eye in the state when she boasted of her great accomplishments by saying, “We broke ground on the new prison”? Alaskans young and old beamed with pride as Palin took full responsibility for her actions by proclaiming, “Political operatives descended on Alaska last August, digging for dirt. The ethics law I championed became their weapon of choice. Over the past nine months I’ve been accused of all sorts of frivolous ethics violations – such as holding a fish in a photograph, wearing a jacket with a logo on it, and answering reporters’ questions.” Finally her speech boldly explained in true Palinesque fashion that to continue serving Alaska as Governor would be  “a quitter’s way out.” Ah, Sarah we hardly knew ye.

But despair not. July 3rd will forevermore be celebrated as “Quitter’s Day” in honor of Sarah Palin’s great sacrifice to her state. Americans everywhere will commemorate the occasion by quitting: their jobs, their marriages, their hobbies, their diets and their New Year’s resolutions. This new holiday will celebrate the unheralded slacker in all of us. So, in honor of Sarah Palin, be patriotic and quit something today.

I will do my duty by quitting this blog.

Please enjoy this Sarah Palin song parody. Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

Evita song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4oPWINVVEw&feature=related

DON’T CRY FOR ME GOOD ALASKANS

(sung to the Evita song “Don’t Cry For Me Argentina”)

I might be sleazy, I might be strange
When I try to explain how I feel
That I still need your votes after all that I’ve done

You won’t believe me
All you will see is a Guv you once knew
Best known for her cries and her whines
And rimless glasses, also too

I had to leave Alaska, I needed fame
Couldn’t stay all my life in the snow
Looking out of my window, staring right at Russia

So I chose D.C.
Heading down south, with Naughty Monkey shoes
I hoped to impress with my drawl
And my sixties beehive hairdo

Don’t cry for me good Alaskans
The truth is I’m glad I left you
My Wasilla days
My pay a pittance
And Michael Wooten
So long, good riddance

And as for ethics and as for blame
I never invited them in
And it seemed Alaska thought I should be fired

I have delusions
Ya betcha I wink and I blink so constantly
And I lived off of the state dime
I had my house built for near free

Don’t cry for me good Alaskans

(Musical Interlude)

Don’t cry for me good Alaskans
The truth is I’m glad I left you
My Wasilla days
My pay a pittance
And Michael Wooten
So long, good riddance

Have I said too much?
I’m sure you know I gave Alaska a good screw
But that is all that Alaskans will ever know
Cuz no more interviews.

But that is all that Alaskans will ever know
Cuz no more interviews.

Good Alaskans

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Posted on July 3, 2010, in Republican, Sarah Palin, Songs and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. That cover is classic.

    If you heard her quitter speech on NPR, you’ll never forget the crazy gasping delivery of those insane words. She sounded as if she’d quit running a marathon, mid-race. With a lobotomy on top.

    Too bad she really hasn’t gone away.

  2. Smells fishy

    There’s no quit in Palin’s stupidity, or in the gullibility of “real” Americans: here’s $100,000’s worth of American exceptionalism for the benefit of communist beer guzzlers at the International Bowl Expo in Las Vegas;

    “You are an audience full of fellow sports enthusiasts…I enjoy running and as I thought of that sport, how that contrasts with the community of bowling and I think of it as a community. Any sport that shares shoes truly in my mind is a community.”

  3. Great to have you back, love the lyrics. Who is the yahoo in that clip that calls her performance ‘electrifying’ and wants to give her a 12 hour television program?? What is the appeal of this woman? Oh wait, let me ask the guy in the blue shirt at about 0:42 in this clip:

  4. oops, sorry nswfm, didn’t see you had already added the blue shirt guy clip

    • With what’s going on in the world, a little extra laughter is a good thing. It just makes me wonder how the photo was framed—all the way down to the feet or waist up? I had a neighbor in NYC who had his photo taken with world dignitaries from his UN-related job, and they weren’t close ups. (His wife got the pain killer cap off for me after my shoulder surgery from my comment a couple of days back.) To think this pitiful guy paid for the $P pics makes it even funnier to me.

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