“Diaper” Dave Vitter And His BP “BM”

Oh boy, do we love it when Republicans make it this easy. You are all familiar with Louisiana Senator David Vitter aren’t you? What’s that, you’re not? Well then, pull up a chair and we will tell you a little story.

Once upon a time there was a Republican Senator from Louisiana named David Vitter. He was a staunch “family values” conservative that previously served in the House of Representatives after having replaced Robert Livingston after Livingston resigned as the result of an adultery scandal. At the time, Vitter said,

It’s obviously a tremendous loss for the state. I think Livingston’s stepping down makes a very powerful argument that Clinton should resign as well and move beyond this mess”, referring to Bill Clinton’s Monica Lewinsky scandal.

Problem is, it was later revealed that Vitter, a married man with children, had been conducting a lengthy affair with a New Orleans prostitute. When initially confronted with the accusation, Vitter said that the allegation was, ” absolutely and completely untrue.” However, in July 2007 his phone number appeared in the records of the infamous “DC Madam.” Consequently, Vitter finally fessed up and said

This was a very serious sin in my past for which I am, of course, completely responsible. Several years ago, I asked for and received forgiveness from God and my wife in confession and marriage counseling. Out of respect for my family, I will keep my discussion of the matter there — with God and them. But I certainly offer my deep and sincere apologies to all I have disappointed and let down in any way.

To add insult to injury, it was later revealed by one of his call girls that Vitter liked to be dressed in diapers during his sessions. (See diaper story here). In typical hypocritical Republican “Family Values” fashion however, Vitter failed to resign his seat after having called upon President Clinton to do so.

To make matters worse, the Republican Party leadership did not call for Vitter’s resignation either (even though they did so  with Senator Larry Craig after the light shined on his sexual indiscretions). You see, the Republican party does not really care about its members’ morality or “family values” it only cares about winning elections and holding onto seats. This became evident after the Craig affair when, after his attempted homosexual bathroom tryst, the Senator was called upon to resign by party leadership. Because Craig was a senator from a state with a Republican governor however, his seat would most likely be filled with another Republican appointed by said governor until a special election. In the case of Vitter however, there was no call from party leadership for his resignation. The Vitter case was different in their eyes because Vitter’s State of Louisiana had a Democratic Party governor. Consequently, upon Vitter’s resignation, the seat would likely be filled by a Democratic party appointee until the special election. In the eyes of the Republican Party, holding on to an elected office trumps any concern over immorality of party members.

Well, here is the newest from David Vitter. For the last number of years he has been firmly in the Sarah Palin “Drill Baby, Drill” camp. This was a safe position for a Republican from Louisiana because he was indebted to the big oil companies that contributed so mightily to his campaign coffers in an effort to increase drilling off of the Louisiana coast. But then the Deepwater Horizon oil spill disaster occurred and Vitter found himself in some murky petroleum polluted water. You see, he is in a fiercely contested Senate race in which he is opposed by a Democrat who hopes to capitalize on the conservative backlash against “Diaper” Dave for his extra-marital endeavors.

In an effort to appease both sides of the deep water oil drilling debate, Vitter immediately opposed President Obama’s moratorium on further drilling until safety measures can be assured. However, when public opinion turned against Vitter for his continued support of Big Oil, Vitter realized he was in trouble and abruptly changed course, sort of. Vitter wanted to appear tough on Big Oil (but not so tough that he might jeopardize his most favored status in the industry) so he filed a bill which would remove any liability cap on BP for this particular oil spill. He hoped to appear tough on one particular company for one particular disaster, but he did not want to expose other companies (or BP) to unlimited liability for future disasters that they may cause. Vitter’s bill pales in comparison to the Democrats’ bill which would permanently remove all liability caps for all oil companies. Let’s hope the Louisiana voters see through Vitter’s masquerade this November.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Getting Better song link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jk0dBZ1meio


(sung to the Beatles song “Getting Better”)

It’s David Vitter all the time
That David Vitter is a fool (only half a brain)
His hookers tell him that he’s cool (as they drain the vein)
Just like Scottie Brown (oh,oh)
Trousers are down (oh, oh)
Vitter just stutters and drools (Oooh)

You’ve got to admit that David Vitter (Vitter)
Wears baby diapers all the time (it can’t get no worse)
You’ve got to admit that David Vitter (Vitter)
That David Vitter
Just loves vice crimes

A useless and angry young man
Dave’s now universally panned
Let’s give him the bird, that obnoxious turd
Let’s give it to him with both hands

You’ve got to admit that David Vitter (Vitter)
Wears baby diapers all the time (it can’t get no worse)
You’ve got to admit that David Vitter (Vitter)
That David Vitter
Just loves vice crimes

We know David Vitter crawls in slime

Wears baby diapers all the time
Vitter, Vitter, Vitter
He leads a secret life of crime
Vitter, Vitter, Vitter

Dave loves to be cruel to his woman
He cheats and he spends all his time with the hookers he loves
Vitter is mean and he’s oh so obscene
Just like all those Republican men (ooh)

Just admit it David Vitter
You’re an offender all the time (you can’t get no worse)
Please just admit it David Vitter, your baby sitter
She dropped a dime

We know David Vitter crawls in slime

Wears baby diapers all the time
Vitter, Vitter, Vitter
He leads a secret life of crime
Vitter, Vitter, Vitter

We know David Vitter crawls in slime

Posted on June 15, 2010, in David Vitter, Republican, Songs and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. DC Madams

    Sen. Vitter, a Big Oil whore from an oil-spill red state grandstanding against BP knowing that Sen. Murkowski, a Big Oil whore from another oil-spill red state has already imperiously decreed that the liability cap on BP will not be lifted. A nice change of pace-Republicans screwing themselves!

    It’s terrible that Vitter’s blue collar (?) “working girls” should be so unfairly compared to the high class prostitutes in the US Senate!

  2. I shouldn’t admit it, but your entire song section about the turd made me laugh out loud.

    What worries me is the voting machines that LA uses, particularly after the odd SC election results. Although SC bought the machines LA rejected, I still wouldn’t put any cheating past the GOP. They are whores themselves.

  3. Hey, Louisiana is my home now and has been since 2001. Dear God, this poor state-if it’s not one thing it’s another. Hurricanes and ‘Diaper Dave’.

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