Daily Archives: June 13, 2010

Sunday Morning Coffee (or Tea) – 41

Just a few noteworthy news satellites that have been careening around the blogosphere this week…

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “People In Glass Houses…” features California’s Republican nominee for US Senate Carly Fiorina. While preparing for a television news interview, the woman that drove Hewlett Packard into the ground before being fired said this about incumbent Democratic Party Senator Barbara Boxer whilst unaware that her microphone was live, “God, what is that hair? Soooo yesterday”. Such an insult coming from a woman that would be more aptly named Carly Purina.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Tea Party Hardy” features Tea Party candidate for Senate in Nevada, Sharron Angle. If you are unaware of Angle’s proposals, get a drink, sit down and get a load of these:

  • Bring more nuclear waste to Nevada.
  • Deregulate Big Oil; BP spill was only “an accident.”
  • Abolish the Education Department, Energy Department, EPA, United Nations and most of the IRS.
  • Eliminate Social Security — possibly Medicare and unemployment insurance too.
  • Outlaw alcohol.

That being said, let’s all congratulate Democrat Harry Reid on his re-election as Nevada Senator.

BREAKING NEWS: This week the racist, uneducated, drug addicted philanderer Rush Limbaugh was married for a fourth time. ‘Nuff said.

THIS JUST IN: U.S. government regulators warned in 2000 about the myriad problems that could be caused by a deepwater oil spill. But the George W. Bush administration ignored such warnings and issued an executive order in May 2001 that pushed to speed up the search for oil.  McLatchy reports,

A decade ago, U.S. government regulators warned that a major deepwater oil spill could start with a fire on a drilling rig, prove hard to stop and cause extensive damage to fish eggs and wetlands because there were few good ways to capture oil underwater, however, President George W. Bush ushered in the new era with an executive order on May 18, 2001, that pushed his new administration to speed up the search for oil.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s episode of “Keep That Boycott Going” features Hall & Oates. The musical duo have canceled their July 2, 2010 concert in Arizona to protest the new racist Arizona immigration law. Other artists who have joined the Arizon boycott thus far include Cypress Hill, Pitbull, Rage Against the Machine, Kanye West, Sonic Youth, Carlos Santana, Willie Nelson, Joe Satriani, Tenacious D, Shakira and Massive Attack.

THIS JUST IN: This week’s episode of “Conservatives Eating Their Young” features both Rush Limbaugh and Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly. In a new biography on sale Tuesday, Rush Limbaugh calls fellow conservative talk show host Bill O’Reilly a “Ted Baxter” — after the fictional character on the “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” who was portrayed as a vain, shallow, buffoonish TV newsman. Now that is insulting. Insulting to Ted Baxter, that is.

BREAKING NEWS: This week’s edition of “Facts Don’t Lie” features the ten states with the lowest percentage of college graduates according to The Chronicle of Higher Education. Drumroll please. Arkansas, West Virginia, Nevada, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Alaska, Arizona, Texas, Tennessee and Mississippi. This is clear evidence of a red state brain drain. In contrast, the areas with the highest percentage of college graduates are Washington D.C., Massachusetts and North Dakota, Michigan, New York, New Jersey and Maryland. Hey, what is North Dakota doing on that list?

THIS JUST IN: This week’s edition of “Companies Deserving of a Consumer Boycott” features these BP brands: ARAL, ARCO, Castrol, ampm and Wild Bean Cafe. Now get to it!

BREAKING NEWS: You didn’t think that the Blast-Off would miss an opportunity to comment on Sarah Palin and the “the girls”, did you? Why, how in the world could we fail to mention the brouhaha surrounding Sarah’s majestic Denali and Redoubt? But where in the world will Palin flee to seek medical attention if one of those peaks becomes active, springs a leak and erupts? Let’s answer that question with today’s song parody!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Volcano song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjGHwGkFIFw&feature=related

VOLCANO

(sung to the Jimmy Buffett song “Volcano”)

(Chorus)
Now I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When her volcano blow

Let me say now,

I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When her volcano blow

She wanted her boobs to grow
So she spent a lot of dough
If the peak begins to quake
Sarah P. will leave the state

Let me hear ya now

I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When her volcano blow

Now Sarah girl she said to T.
Take me to New York City
I’m not looking quite so hot
My silicone is down one quart

Let me say now, I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When her volcano blow

Mr. Wooten!
(musical interlude)

Just what are those balloons worth?
Bigger than when she gave birth
What is next for Grizzly Mom?
She’s having work done on her bum

Now I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When her volcano blow

One more now, I don’t know
(she don’t know)
I don’t know (she don’t know mon)
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When her volcano blow

She might want to land
In Rapid City
Might want to land
In Buffalo (ho ho ho)
Don’t want to land on no
Three mile Island
Don’t want to see her boobies glow (no no no)

Might want to land in
Indianapolis
Or in Nashville, Tennessee (ho ho ho)
Don’t want to land in
Massachusetts
Or in Putin’s territory (no no no)

Might want to land
In San Diego
Might want to land
In Miami (ho ho ho)
But the place that she wants so dearly
Is Ol’ Washington DC

I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know where Sarah P. will go
When her volcano blow

Just one more, I don’t know
(she don’t know)
I don’t know
(she don’t know, man)
I don’t know where Sarah gonna go
When her volcano blow!