Palin & Bachmann: The Whack And the Hack

The Minneapolis, Minnesota zoo has a new traveling exhibit this afternoon. Two rare specimens of the koo-koo bird are on display today at the city’s convention center. The line was forming early for citizens to get a look at both Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann. It is believed that this is the most insanity ever confined to one cage since the condition of mental illness was first diagnosed. The Minnesota Republican Party is hopeful that the carnival-like freak-show will draw curious Tea-Baggers from all over the state. One Party official was cautiously optimistic that the dim-witted duo would garner more souvenir photograph sales than the present record holder, “Louie, the Lobster-Clawed Lad from Louisville”. Others are worried about the potential outbreak of violence, however. One zoo official admitted that it is not unusual for two mentally disturbed animals to fight to the death when caged together. Consequently, Democrats are hopeful.

The event is ostensibly a fund raiser for the re-election of Michele Bachmann to the US Senate. Bachmann claimed that more than 11,000 tickets had been distributed for the event, adding “Take that, Liberals!” She seems to be proud of the fact that she is considered a strange curiosity like “Timmy the Two-Headed Horse”. She also failed to mention that  tickets to the event are free. She referred to the newly enacted Health Care Reform Law as an “infamous monstrosity of a vote to nationalize effectively health care in the United States of America.” She then promised “repeal is what this girl is going to be all about after November.” Her brain is so limited however, that she fails to understand that repeal of the law is virtually impossible without 67 Republican Senators to override a Presidential veto.

As crazy as she is, Bachmann was overshadowed by the foolishness displayed by Sarah Palin. The former ex-quitting Governor of Alaska and current reality tv host immediately riled up the educationally challenged crowd by saying “the tea party is growin’ and steamin’.” Next, she lauded the Tea-Baggers for “clinging to your guns and religion like the rest of us.” In an apparent slip-up however, the Queen of Quit admitted that Republicans are, in fact, “The Party of NO”. Try to decipher this gibberish that she emitted,

What’s wrong with being the Party of NO when you consider what Obama, Pelosi and Reid are trying to do to our country? So be it.  Not when it violates our Constitution!

Um Sarah, not when what violates our constitution? Could you please be a bit more lucid?

The event was still taking place when this column went to press. We will keep you advised if the two crazy birds get into a cat fight. Please stay tuned.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Two Of Us song link:


(sung to the Beatles song “Two Of Us”)

Two of us dying our hair
Spending someone’s hard earned pay
You and me both conniving
Numbers diving in all recent polls
Our brains out on loan
Just like Fred Flintstone
We are two clones

Two of us freakin’ retards
Signing book sleeves at the mall
Sending Twitter dispatches
Try and catch us as we mount our thrones
We have empty domes
Just watch our mouths foam
We love to drone

We both have short memories
Like a dead end road
There’s nothing in our heads

Two of us spewing misquotes
Stooping so low, having fun
Never reading the papers
Scheming capers on the telephone
From our pricey homes
In the twilight zone
We are two clones

We both have short memories
Like a dead end road
There’s nothing in our heads

Bachmann is casting “No” votes
Palin showboats with her guns
Both of them are just fakers
Trouble makers when they’re not at home
Whereabouts unknown
They’ll reap what they’ve sown
They are two clones

They are just two clones

Yes sir


Posted on April 7, 2010, in Michele Bachmann, Republican, Sarah Palin, Songs and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. Well done on the entire post. Thanks for taking one for the Rocketeer Team and paying attention to these two freaks of nature.

    Have their brain cells frozen solid from the cold?

  2. nice! Again, they add nothing but noise to the conversation.. Freedom… God… Troops… I’m still trying to figure out exactly what freedoms have been taken away from anyone. And how they dare claim the current administration is destroying the constitution! Were they on this planet during Bush/Cheney? Apparently they were in the twilight zone 🙂

  3. Showgirls

    Bachmann introducing Palin: “And as absolutely drop dead gorgeous as this woman is on the outside, I am here to testify that she is twenty times more beautiful on the inside”.

    Aren’t the not quite so gorgeous Republicans on the Supreme Court doing a good enough job “protecting” our Constitution?

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