Scott Brown Says, “Let ‘Em Eat Beefcake”

Scott Brown's Senate campaign poster

After a stripper has removed all of his/her clothing, he/she has nothing left to entertain the audience. That is precisely the predicament that the newly elected Republican Senator from Massachusetts now finds himself in. When Scott Brown emerged on the political scene last November, the only thing most Bay State voters knew about him was that he posed nude for a centerfold spread a few years earlier. Other than that dubious distinction, there was nothing else anybody knew about him. He had no issue to call his own.

Enter the Tea-Baggers. When the Tea Party realized that Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat was open, they saw an opportunity to put the final nail in the coffin of health care reform. What better way to defeat the Democratic bill than to take away the 60th filibuster-proof Democratic vote and simultaneously elect a Republican in liberal Massachusetts and to Ted Kennedy’s own seat to boot? Consequently, they rallied behind Brown and flooded the Commonwealth with out of state money.

Scott Brown took the bait and the money also, too. He quickly took up the Tea-Bagger anti-health-care-reform mantra. His campaign slogan became, “I will not be the 60th vote in favor of health care reform, but the 41st vote against it”. For the next two months of the shortened special election campaign, Brown spoke only about his opposition to health care reform. For some unknown reason, the voters did not question the fact that while he was a state senator in 2006, Brown actually voted in favor of Massachusetts’ much more liberal health care reform law which became the actual model for the Democrats’ national reform bill. Nevertheless, Brown won the election on that single issue.

That issue-based victory however, may cost Scott Brown his next election in 2012 (there were only two years remaining in Kennedy’s term when he died). The first vote that he recorded as a Senator was a vote in favor of a Democratic Party sponsored jobs bill that was vehemently opposed by most Republicans and all Tea-Baggers. Next, the House of Representatives elected to pass the Senate version of the health care reform bill, thereby depriving the Republicans (and specifically, Scott Brown) from using their coveted 41st vote to defeat the bill by means of filibuster. In other words, Scott brown defied his base with the jobs bill vote and then never had the opportunity to appease them with his 41st vote against health care reform.

The health care reform bill is now law. Scott Brown lost the war on his only conservative issue. He was a one-trick pony and his horse has now gone out to pasture. The Tea-Baggers will now deem the nudist to be expendable because not only did he defy them on the jobs bill, but he is also considered to be somewhat of a social liberal (he is pro-choice and in favor of gay unions). Simply speaking, the Tea Party no longer needs Scott Brown nor do they favor his social liberalism (which he needs to be elected in Massachusetts). Consequently, they will not fill his coffers in the next election. Additionally, the Democrats received a wake-up call with Brown’s election and they will be geared up to regain their seat in 2012. Scott Brown’s last bit of clothing was his opposition to health care reform.  That shred of costume is now lying on the stage floor. Scott Brown is naked once again, the music has stopped and now his performance is over.

CONGRATULATIONS !

Congratulation are once again in order for the Boston College men’s ice hockey team which defeated Yale University yesterday by a score of 9 – 7 and will now advance to the Frozen Four. This will be the ninth time in the last thirteen years that the Eagles have reached the Frozen Four. The Eagles will face Miami of Ohio in their next game. Good luck, Eagles. Let’s bring home our 4th national title!

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody. Enjoy!

Downtown song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUSYb3igXzI

SCOTT BROWN

(sung to the Petula Clark song “Downtown”)

If Mass. is your home
And you are full of baloney,
You must surely be – Scott Brown
You have your worries,
With no clothes in snow flurries
You’re a nudist boy – Scott Brown

You’re popular in the woods but were voteless in the city
Your term is only two years Scott, and isn’t that a pity?
You’re sure to lose

You’ve got some Mitt Romney hair
But it grows down on your buttocks, we’ve seen when you’re bare, and so
Scott Brown – politics of hate when you’re
Scott Brown – voted right out the door
Scott Brown – private life’s waiting for you
(Scott Brown, Scott Brown)

Don’t wear a frown
As the Tea-Baggers surround you
They are friends not foes – Scott Brown
The “Party of No”
Is just the place that they go to
Where their hatred grows – Scott Brown

Just charm them with the rhythm of your naked bossanova
They’ll be bare-assed with you too before the night is over
Happy again

They’ll take off their underwear
Then they’ll forget all their troubles, forget all their cares like you,
Scott Brown – not erudite or bright
Scott Brown – every nudist’s delight
Scott Brown – you’re gonna be alright now
(Scott Brown, Scott Brown, Scott brown)

(Scott Brown, Scott Brown)

And you might find that your behind will help ingratiate you
With Larry Craig who loves the view and has a gentle hand to
Guide you along

And maybe you’ll see him bare
You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares dear bro
Scott Brown – get right down on all fours
Scott Brown – don’t wait a minute more
Scott Brown – Larry Craig’s waiting for you

Scott Brown (Scott Brown) Scott Brown (Scott Brown)
Scott Brown (Scott Brown) Scott Brown (Scott Brown)
(repeat and fade out)

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Posted on March 29, 2010, in Scott Brown, Songs and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.

  1. Excellent way to start my week: “Your term is only two years Scott, and isn’t that a pity? You’re sure to lose” Absolutely.

    Go Eagles! (My husband is an alum, my son has BC on the list of schools he’s applying to next year, so there was no escaping hockey mania in my house this weekend!)

  2. I can’t wait until this guy is voted out so we don’t have to see him, with or without clothes. He served the purpose of getting the Dems to stiffen their spines and to pass the HCR bill passed into law though, so for that I’m thankful.

    Congratulations on the hockey win over CT. May they go all the way.

  3. What can brown do for you?

    Being the Republican Lieberman seemed like such a good idea at the time, and Brown was careful to-modestly-refer to himself as #41 rather than the more stately “kingmaker”.

    How the mighty have fallen! Even Lieberman is behaving himself. But Brown is still like Lieberman in one respect-nobody on “his side” trusts him.

    • LOL, BigPete, I still have tears streaming down my face from your comment and this song. Ever the perfect clip…

  4. Party of Hell No!

  5. Excellent post … so well written and just wonderful!

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