Sarah Palin, Please Come To Boston

Of all the things “Banned in Boston” during its long history such as James Joyce’s Ulysses, H.L. Mencken’s The American Mercury, Lillian Smith’s Strange Fruit and William S. Burrough’s Naked Lunch, how is it that Sarah Palin and the Tea-Baggers will be allowed to hold an event here this April? It is true. The Boston Globe reports that the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska will be attending a Tea Party rally in the Democratic stronghold on April 14th. The group sponsoring the event, Tea Party Express has indicated that it hopes that newly elected Republican nudist Senator Scott Brown will also attend. No venue has been announced but rumor has it that the event will take place in a phone booth located on the corner of Park and Tremont Streets.

Of the event, Sarah Palin only had this to say,

In April, I’ll be in Boston for a Tea Party gathering there. Across the country, tea-partiers will be sharing our vision for America’s future, a vision that promotes common sense solutions to out-of-control spending and an out-of-touch political establishment.

Mark Williams, a spokesman for the Tea Party Express group, said the group had no qualms about staging an event in one of the nation’s most liberal states. He said,

It’s a working stiff state that’s neither blue nor red

Apparently, Mr. Williams is as uneducated as Sarah Palin. Otherwise he would have known that far from being a “working stiff” state, Massachusetts ranks number one in the nation with 37.9 percent of its population having at least a bachelor’s degree. It also ranks third in the nation in personal per capita income and only forty-first in the number of people living below the poverty line. Additionally, it ranks first in the nation in the category of number of doctors per 100,000 people. Furthermore, Moody’ reports that the Massachusetts economy emerged from recession last January, well ahead of the rest of the nation. Williams also seems to minimize the fact that of its fourteen elected federal representatives (including the two senators), only Brown is a Republican. The percentage of Massachusetts’ Democratic state representatives and senators exceeds ninety percent. Consequently, would somebody please inform Mr. Williams that Massachusetts is a professional class state that is as deep blue as it could get.

The local media is sure to have a blast when it televises all those Tea-Baggers’ misspelled signs and when it reports upon how Sarah Palin butchered the English language during her xenophobic speech. The event is likely to be remembered as “The Boston Massacre Two”. Finally, somebody should remind Palin and the Tea-Baggers that Bostonians don’t take kindly to people misusing the term “Tea Party” in the home of the original Boston Tea Party.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Please Come To Boston song link:


(sung to the Dave Loggins song “Please Come To Boston”)

Please come to Boston late this spring time
Bring all your Tea-Bagger friends
To spread your doom and gloom
Holding misspelled banners on the sidewalk
Sarah Palin will fly in on her witch’s broom
Please come to Boston
For the show
It’s a Tea Party

And we’ll say, “Hey, Tea-Baggers,
Why don’t you settle down?
Boston ain’t your kind of town.
You’re being told that
We all despise Sarah P.
She won’t find many fans
Where we held the first Tea Party

Please come to Boston for a big brawl
Your heads shoved up in your asses so far
That they can’t be found.
Sarah Palin will bring the flames for fannin’
But Beantowners will bury her and not in hallowed ground.
Please come to Boston
Face your foes
In the city by the sea

And we’ll say, “Tea-Bagging boys,
Put your tea kettles down
Boston ain’t your kind of town.
You’re being told that
We all despise Sarah P.
She won’t find many fans
Where we held the real Tea Party

Now, Palin’s voice is a piercing sound
And no doubt, it’s never gonna stop
But ol’ Boston is a college town
With brains that she ain’t got
That goes for Van Flein too,
Her lawyer that she clings to.

Please come to Boston but not forever
Palin will provide a nice comedic fill
When her speech is finished we’ll throw her in the ocean
She’ll “go with the flow” like last July
She’ll look like an oil spill
Please come to Boston
Bring Plumber Joe
You can stay with Mitt Romney

And she said, Hey, Romney boy,
Why don’t you settle down?
Boston sure ain’t my kind of town
They don’t like fools so
They won’t like no-one like me.
No, no I am sure to be banned
In that city by the sea.
I am sure to be banned
In that city by the sea.”


Posted on March 24, 2010, in Joe The Plumber, Mitt Romney, Sarah Palin, Songs, Tea Party and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 13 Comments.

  1. Bravo. Nice work on the song, lynnrockets.

    There are grammar school kids that are smarter than $P in MA, I’m sure.

    Maybe she’ll crash that broom before she gets to your fine city (and state) and this whole Tea Bagger disaster can be averted.

  2. How much parenting is Palin doing if she is always on the road? Trig seems to be MIA he hasn’t been dragged aroung like a loaf of bread lately.

  3. Assault on precinct 13

    What a shock for teabaggers! Jolted awake from the tranquil slumber of the Bush glory years to discover that fancy pants city slickers have taken over their country-electing a foreign commie intellectual who has never set foot in any part of Real America, like, say, Kansas!

    How clever is it to stage the revolt in April, when most of the teabaggers-they don’t look like high tax bracket types- will be receiving their tax cuts?

    And who’s the most desperate? Palin trying to remain relevant; or Brown trying to steer well clear of the toxic rabble?

  4. Oh Sarah, bring on your stupid circus act. Tea Party indeed – you’re right – we Bostonians DON’T take kindly to misuse of the term. I thought Massachusetts was one of them librul elitist states she and her ilk hate so much. Do they really think that Scott Brown’s election has turned MA into a “red” state? Egad. He’s a buffoon, his latest is claiming that the Mass Democratic Party is soliciting Rachel Maddow to run against him in 2012. Someone surely has to, but Rachel? Seriously? I agree with something I heard Chris Dodd say yesterday – he said he believes Brown’s election was ultimately a good thing for the Democratic Party – it was a major wake up call, and in getting HCR passed I believe the call was answered. Let’s hope they stay focused on getting things done for the country!

    • I thought Ed Schultz put it best yesterday when he said that Scott Brown was a “one trick pony” and that “the horse he rode in on (defeat of health care reform) has gone out to pasture”. Brown simply has no other issue to call his own and his socially liberal leanings will condemn him in the eyes of the conservative Republican base.

      Thanks again for stopping by with your insightful comment. Please do so again.

  5. Idea for SNL skit when Tina Fey is on – Sarah Palin on “Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?” Or maybe we should change that to “First Grader” for the skit in order to give her a fighting chance..

    • Perhaps Tina fey could portray her in some sort of spoof of “The Biggest Loser”!

        Sarah Palin and her hairdresser, living in Alaska were sitting on a bench talking…….. and the hairdresser says to Sarah, “Which do you think is farther away……….Boston or the moon?”

        Sarah Palin turns and says “Helloooooooooo, can you see Boston…?????”

        (Apologies to blonds: that joke was modified for those two mentally challenged brunettes.)

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