Glenn Beck Admits That His Show Is A Waste Of Time

Glenn Beck dons the "Fear Goggles"

Glenn Beck, Glenn Beck,

You’re such a train-wreck!

You speak like a looney,

And look like ol’ Shreck!

Thank goodness we have Sarah Palin, Glenn Beck and Fox News to amuse us in the Monty Pythonesque fashion that we all so adore. If it were not for this fictionalized news network and its absurd assortment of mentally challenged hosts, what would we bloggers have to write about? What’s that you say? Oh yes, we would still have Larry Craig, the Cheney Gang, the nudist Scott Brown, Michele Bachmann and Rush Limbaugh. Nevertheless, Fox News does keep a lot of these nincompoops neatly caged in one little bundle.

Today’s object of ridicule is the crying man-child, Glenn Beck. In Beck, the right wing punditry has found another person that seems to fit it’s employment criteria. Like the “family values” minded Newt Gingrich and Rush Limbaugh, he has been married multiple times. His educational background also measures up well with Limbaugh’s in that his college career lasted for all of one course. Yes, we said “course” not year or semester. Additionally, he also shares an alcohol and substance abuse history with Limbaugh. Glenn Beck is truly a Fox “Man For All Seasons”.

This week we had the added enjoyment of hearing Glenn Beck proclaim that his show is a waste of time. He invited resigning Democratic Representative Eric Massa on to his program in the hope of exposing the ethical violations of a Democrat or in the hope of eliciting some insider information that the Obama administration was strong-arming members of its own party. The interview, however, did not go as Beck planned.

First of all, Massa, unlike so many Republican scandal subjects like Larry Craig and David Vitter, accepted personal responsibility for his actions and voluntarily resigned his office as a consequence thereof. Massa said,

My difficulties are of my own making, period, and that during long car rides in the early hours of the morning and late at night and always in private, I know that my own language failed to meet the standards I set for all around me and myself.

After striking out on that pitch, Beck changed the subject to the alleged Obama strong-arming. in an earlier radio interview, Massa said,

I was set up for this from the very, very beginning. If you think that somehow they didn’t come after me to get rid of me because my vote is the deciding vote in the healthcare bill, then ladies and gentlemen, you live today in a world that is so innocent as to not understand what is going on in Washington, D.C.

Beck hoped to get Massa to affirm that statement and to expound thereon. Instead, all he got was a harmless statement from Massa that Rahm Emanuel, while nude at a gym locker room, confronted him over his vote. Hardly the juicy revelation that Beck hoped for.

The ineffective interview prompted Glenn Beck to say to his audience,

I think I’ve wasted your time. I think this is the first time I have wasted an hour of your time, and I apologize for that.

Indeed Glenn, you have wasted our time, but it was not the first time that you have done so. You waste our time every time your lying mug and voice appear on either television or radio.

Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the song parody.

Last Train To Clarksville song link:


(sung to the Monkees song “Last Train To Clarksville”)

Take the last train to Nutsville
Beck will meet you at the station
You can be there by four-thirty
Cuz Fox made your reservation
The Beck Show, oh, no, no, no!
Oh, no, no, no!

Glenn lost his mind without warning
And it won’t be back again
Glenn Beck’s facing stormy weather
And it’s causing quite a strain
So, he must go, oh, no, no, no!
Oh, no, no, no
He might have a lobotomy on his dome.

Take the last train to Nutsville
Glenn Beck is their famous patient
If he’s not crying he’ll blow some kisses
But don’t attempt conversation
Oh… oh, no, no, no!
Oh, no, no, no!

Take the last train to Nutsville
That’s where Glenn Beck now calls home
We can’t hear him making noisy
Conversation all alone
He’s feelin’ low. Oh, no, no, no!
Oh, no, no, no!
And I don’t think that Glenn’s ever coming home.

Take the last train to Nutsville
Take the last train to Nutsville
(repeat and fade)

Posted on March 12, 2010, in David Vitter, Fox News, Glenn Beck, Larry Craig, Newt Gingrich, Republican, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Scott Brown, Songs, Talk Radio, Television, TV and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. Thank goodness you wrote about this one. I was afraid we wouldn’t get your commentary on this incident.

  2. The future of the Republic is at stake!

    Surely, Beck’s shows aren’t broadcast “Live”.
    Was there no alternative but to go through with this? Too much hype?
    Would airing a re-run have made Beck’s audience even more paranoid?

  3. What a loon.

    And BTW, I sent you an e-mail.

  4. One of my favorite parts of the Beck-Massa interview was when Beck thought he was FINALLY going to get the dirt, the whole dirt, and nothing but the dirt from Massa. You could see Beck openly salivating at the thought of the forthcoming admissions duly wrung out of Massa by his cunning skills as an interviewer. But Massa only said that people should “get involved.” Thud.

    I do believe Beck lost control of all his sphincters at that point.

    In Massa’a defense, though, I thought he delivered that line with passion and a humble sense of the historical importance of such an admission on national TV. Bwahahaha.

    Loons. Both of ’em.

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