Run Sarah, Run !!!

Palin - Gump 2012

Sarah Palin is not the type to disappoint. When the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska gave up on her constiuents and walked away from her job last July, we all worried that we would lose our favorite source of entertainment and target of witty criticism. There was no need to worry however, because she announced that her memoir would soon be released and that there would be a nationwide small hamlet book tour. She delivered in true Palin fashion. The book was a non-fact checked, hilariously poorly written work of fiction and the bus tour turned into a secret private jet tour that nonetheless drew a multitude of bloodthirsty shut-ins into the light of day for all to marvel at. A freak show if you will.

In addition to the book, she also informed the world that her plans were to embark as a featured speaker on the lecture circuit. As a warm-up for this new vocation, she flew off to Hong Kong so as to address a group of investors. The reviews were not kind. Consequently, the demand for her services dwindled to the point where she was forced to accept gigs at such spectacular forums as the Bowling Convention and the Wine and Alcohol Wholesalers’ Convention. imagine the fun we will have when the transcripts of those speeches become public?

She then accepted a position as a guest host on the Fox News network. She promptly began to appear on such shows as Hannity, The O’Reilly Factor and The Glenn Beck Show. Needless to say, she fit right in with the Fox menagerie. She was at ease in the comfortable environment of friends and candidly answered such hard hitting questions as, “What is your favorite color?” and “Does it snow a lot up where you live?”. We are sure to have much more fun as she appears regularly on these programs.

Finally, this weekend she was the keynote speaker at the first Tea-Bagging Convention in Nashville. Of course other than Terrible Tom Tancredo, she was just about the only speaker at the event as the result of multiple cancellations. But Sarah Palin came through in spades. During the convention she taped a segment with Fox News in which she announced that she would consider a run for president in 2012 if the situation was right for her family and the nation. Our prayers have almost been answered. CNN reports that she said she would run,

…if I believed that that is the right thing to do for our country and for the Palin family. I think that it would be absurd to not consider what it is that I can potentially do to help our country. I won’t close the door that perhaps could be open for me in the future.

Just imagine all the side splitting laughs we will enjoy as she spars with the likes of Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich and Tim Pawlenty in Republican primary debates. “Please give me a moment Mr. Romney as a I consult the crib notes on my hand”! “Mr. Gingrich, do you mind if I call you ‘Cute Newt’”? The possibilities are endless. Of course she will also be required to appear on serious Sunday morning news programs such as Face The Nation and Meet The Press. We will all enjoy looking at the puzzled visages of the hosts as she tosses up one of her signature word salads. Not to mention, a long presidential run will also afford Levi Johnston the opportunity to have a book tour of his own as well as the chance to appear on even more gossip minded television shows.

RUN SARAH, RUN !!!

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Y-M-C-A song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CS9OO0S5w2k

2-0-1-2

(sung to the Village People song “Y-M-C-A”)

Sarah, there’s no need to feel down
I said, Sarah, just because you’re a clown
I said, Sarah, a smile isn’t a frown
There’s no need to be unhappy.

Sarah, you lost a race with McCain
I said, Sarah, you flushed him right down the drain
And you messed up all of your interviews
But you’re still on the nightly news

We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2

We’ll have such a good time when you fall on your face,
And we’ll revel in your disgrace…

We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2

You will have SarahPac, and a new running mate
To help spread Politics of Hate…

Sarah, are you listening to me?
I said, Sarah, you’ll have to go on TV
I said, Sarah, I’m sure we’ll laugh till we pee
And you’ve got to know this one thing!

You make a big ass of yourself
Every time that you open your mouth
You give ammo, to our friend Tina Fey
She just repeats the things you say…

We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2

You’ll get all of the votes from the states that are red
But, the G.O.P. is now dead…

We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at you in 2-0-1-2

You can wink and then blink, and twit everyone,
But, you’ll need a fork cuz you’re done…

Sarah, you’ll have a case of the blues
I said, Sarah, has no grasp of world views
But that’s OK, cuz she amuses us,
As we throw her under the bus…

That’s when she will realize that,
Her future, is modeling for “Arctic Cat”
Maybe she’ll host a reality show
If they pay her with enough dough.

We’ll all laugh at her in 2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at her in 2-0-1-2

She can wink and then blink, and twit everyone,
But, she’ll need a fork cuz she’s done…

2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at her in 2-0-1-2
Sarah, Sarah you’ll wear a big frown
Sarah, Sarah to us you are a clown

2-0-1-2
We’ll all laugh at her in 2-0-1-2
Sarah, Sarah you’ll have a case of the blues
Sarah, Sarah I said, why don’t you just go vamoos.
2-0-1-2

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Posted on February 8, 2010, in Sarah Palin, Songs and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 14 Comments.

  1. My favorite quote from the New York Daily News:

    Maybe she would have done better with Wallace if she’d written down talking points on her hand, the way she did at that Tea Party convention, the superpatriot version of Halloween in the Village.

    Good work on this post, but surely someone in her posse will come to his or her senses before then. Saying this is just her way to keep up her day job, grifting.

  2. It was either in the Gibson or Couric interview – maybe both? – that she would look down as though she was looking at some notes. Maybe she thought she could do it more discreetly by writing them in her hand. It’s such a childish thing to do. And the four talking point titles? It is surprising to learn that she was worried she’d forget those. She needs to be sent to the principal’s office.

  3. Smells scammy

    The failure to draw a sizable crowd of teabaggers must have come as a tremendous shock! Is Palin’s career as an overwhelmingly stupid celebrity winding down, just as she was finally snagging a few gigs? What about her family? Money doesn’t grow on trees!

    Smart grifters usually get out while the getting’s good, but Palin is so delusional that her threat to consider running surely has the GOP in a panic. Brace yourselves for an avalanche of word salad!

  4. Sarah, during her debut as a Fox News “contributor,” denounced the devastating portrait of her as “gossipy anonymous accusations” and as “irrelevant” to “what is important in this world today. The rest of America doesn’t care about that kind of crap,” she told BillO. Neither point, of course, is germane to the portrait’s accuracy.

    To date, not a word from Sarah about the SarahPAC Disclosure Statements and Cabingate records. Both caught Sarah with her cellulite showing. Her divide and conquer scheme can be seen coming from a mile away. And we are ready, eager, for her to run.

    I can’t wait.

  5. Fox & Douchebags to the rescue

    The folksy, down to earth, “real” nincompoop did it on purpose!

  6. There was a song I recall in the mid 70′s called “Run Joey, Run!” I looked it up and it was by David Geddes. I haven’t been able to find a site with audio online, but you might.

    As soon as read the title of this entry, I thought of that song. Scary. The 70′s… I wish I was more aware of what an awesome decade that was!

  7. Oh Lynnrockets… I have found the definitive song for the Queen!!

    by Redbone: The witch queen of New Orleans

    Or Wasilla!!! LOL

    Wow, memories!!!! Please do this one… please please please!! (unless you did already)

  8. I’ve been to you blog a couple of times now. I enjoy your blog. Being a huge fan of Mrs. Palin myself, I invite you to my post, http://shortbuswonderkid.wordpress.com/
    read, ’2012 Could be the End of the World.’ I think you will enjoy equally.

  9. Could someone educate me as to what these scandals are that everone is talking about. Cabingate? SarahPAC? Disclosure statements? A credible source would be helpful.

    Waylon

  10. Waylon, look here.

    http://palingates.blogspot.com/

    There is always ongoing discussion, but if you want specifics, look to the right of the page and click on a “gate” to learn more.

    Also, themudflats.net is an excellent source.

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