Scott Brown: The Senator Wears No Clothes (Updated)

Scott Brown (R-MA) posing for his Senate composite photo.

As we have noted many times in the past, the Republican Party is the gift that keeps on giving. For year’s we have had fun pointing out the hypocricy of those members of the “Party of Family Values” that have engaged in extramarital affairs with members of both sexes. Here are some of our favorites: Ronald Reagan, Newt Gingrich, John McCain, David Vitter, Mark Foley, Larry Craig, Rudolph Giuliani, Ted Haggard, Bob Allen, Glenn Murphy, Jr., John Ensign,  Mark Sanford, Paul Stanley and Mike Duvall. Yet that is only one category of Republican that is joke-worthy.

We also have those Republicans that are just simply uneducated, weak minded, possibly insane, lightweight, frivolous fools. These are the people that give us a belly laugh every time they open their mouths or appear in public. Examples that come to mind are George W. Bush and Michele Bachmann. Of course the undisputed queen bee of this category is Sarah Palin. Ever since the day she emerged from the wilds of Alaska like a “Mama Bear” awaking from hibernation, Palin has entertained us with a form of incoherent public speaking that is second only to that of Borat. She makes Edith Bunker sound like Jane Austen. In short, Sarah Palin becomes the subject of ridicule every time she “rears her head over Alaska” or anyplace else for that matter. Here’s to Sarah Palin! Long live the Queen!

Yet, our friends over at the G.O.P. have just done us another solid. May we introduce newly elected Republican senator Scott Brown of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. Although this clown is smarter than Sarah Palin (a law school graduate), his personal life measures up quite nicely to that of the Wasilla hillbilly. In fact, he is the male version of Sarah Palin. She was a beauty pageant failure. He posed nude for a centerfold (see above). She paid little attention to her children as they quit school and were impregnated. He pimped out his daughters at his election party and posed with them in their teeny-weeny bikinis while he eerily smiled (see below). She was cited for a fishing violation. He was sentenced for shoplifting. Thank goodness for us that every ying has its yang.

In Scott Brown we have the very definition of an “empty suit”. And empty shoes. And empty trousers. And empty boxers and…


Commenter linmac reminded us of this sort of creepy music video from the 1980’s which stars Scott Brown’s wife. Jeesh, the squeezing of the tube is rather suggestive. Those Brown kids have a lot to be proud of with regard to their parents.

Please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Centerfold song link:


(sung to the J. Geils Band song “Centerfold”)

C’mon !
Does he walk? Does he talk?
Is he G.O.P.?
Scott Brown’s a Men’s Room angel
Larry Craig would share his seat

His buns are white like snowflakes
No underwear to stain
He poses like a sweet angel
Naked but with no brain

This sad guy loves posing in those porno magazines
He’s like a nudist angel and he’s pimping out his teens

He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
That Scott Brown is the centerfold
Scott Brown is the centerfold

He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
Scott Brown is the centerfold

Nude behind his Senate desk
This girlie man should be in a dress
Can he see that Larry Craig
Is giving him the eye

He is naked but for shoes
Much too indecent for the news
You must wear clothes on TV
They told that Scott Brown guy

Wear diapers like Dave Vitter
They do not cover  much
Or simply wear a negligee
That would be a nice touch

He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
That Scott Brown is the centerfold
Scott Brown is the centerfold

He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
Scott Brown is the centerfold

(na, na, na, na, na, na…..)

It’s okay we understand
Scott’s nudity should not be banned
But while prancing on the Senate lawn
We wish he would keep his clothes on

Take his truck, Yes he will
He’ll take that truck and drive it
He says the cab has lots of room
For his ass and his private

He says that his bod’s really ripped
He loves it when his clothes are stripped
Oh, no, Scott can’t deny it
Oh yeah, it’s time for him to diet!

He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
That Scott Brown is the centerfold
Scott Brown is the centerfold

He must be cold
A naked man if truth be told
Scott Brown is the centerfold


Posted on February 2, 2010, in David Vitter, Larry Craig, Republican, Scott Brown, Songs and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.

  1. Too funny! I wondered if you’d use this song. This version is laugh out loud funny! Thank you for that; I was getting tired of seeing him after he pimped out his daughters. Who knows what else will come out next with this guy?

  2. Ronald Reagan having affairs? I thought he was the good old star from California. I have heard rumors he and his family were involved in witchcraft. I don’t know. John McCain and Newt Gingrich? I’ve got to be honest, I hadn’t heard of that. This new guy looks promising for the tabloids just like John Edwards and his poor wife. But you’ve got to admit, Brown’s daughters are frigging hot!

  3. Ronald Reagan cheated on his first wife with Nancy. McCain began cheating on his first wife after she was disfigured in a car accident. He also admitted to it. Gingrich cheated so many times it is incredible. He also admitted it. Additionally, Gingrich had one of his wives served with divorce papers while she was hospitalized and receiving treatments for cancer.

  4. Drive-by trucker

    Brown’s daughters had an easier time of it than Bristol Palin, who was forced onto Oprah’s show to guarantee a stunned world that (for the time being) she would be having no more “nookie”!

    Why no complaints from teabaggers, wingnuts, and bible-thumpers? Have Republicans finally stumbled upon a way to get the women vote?

    • BigPete,

      In answer to your question:
      “Have Republicans finally stumbled upon a way to get the women vote?”,
      in a word, NO.

      May he only serve to the end of this term, (hint, hint, MA).

  5. Lets not forget that video of Scott Browns wife where she takes off her top and simulates a sex act with a tube of toothpaste. What a model republican family values family they are !!

  6. Scott Brown is a far better parent than Sarah. It takes a loving family to produce strong women:

    “THE mortified daughter of the Bay State’s newly elected senator Scott Brown said she and her sister were not amused when their proud pop announced they were “available” in the midst of his widely-watched acceptance speech, the New York Post reported overnight.

    “Now everyone knows what my father’s like after watching him embarrass me last night,” Ayla Brown, 21, said.

    “Afterwards, I was like, ‘What are you doing?'”

    You will never hear any of Sarah’s children stand up for themselves like that. Ayla is a NCAA, Division 1 athlete whose Boston College team competes in the Atlantic Coast Conference, one of the most competitive BB leagues at the college level. Her position on the team was not given to her. She had to earn it. Her younger sister is a Pre-Med major at Syracuse. She, too, does not shy away from hard work.

    It sounds to me like those two will brook no more nonsense from their father.

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