Sarah Palin: The Tabloid Schizoid

Palin stars in the same newspapers and periodicals that she reads.Palin stars in the same newspapers and periodicals that she reads.

Remember when this happened during the Katie Couric/ Sarah Palin televised interview in September 2008?

Boy, did we learn a lot about the quitting ex-governor’s reading habits and news sources that day. It appeared at the time as if she could not remember the names of any accredited newspapers or periodicals that she regularly read. She was asked to be specific but she simply chose to give some general evasive answer involving Alaskans’ ability to access news sources. Now in retrospect however, it appears that she was not suffering from a momentary memory lapse, but was rather trying to hide the actual literature (and we use that term loosely) that she does in fact read.

In  Vanity Fair magazine there was an expose by former future son-in-law Levi Johnston about Sarah Palin. And it was not flattering. The article was titled, Me and Mrs. Palin and included a segment in which Johnston explained the erstwhile journalism major’s reading habits as follows:

“Once in a blue moon, I’d see her reading a book, and I’ve never even seen her read a newspaper in my life. The Frontiersman and the Anchorage Daily News were always there in the morning, but the only one who looked through them was Todd.”

There it is, she does not read newspapers. Inasmuch as Johnston has revealed that she shops at Walmart and eats at Taco Bell, it is not much of a stretch to assume that she reads only People, Us, The National Enquirer and The Star. Please Sarah, the next time that someone asks you that question, answer it honestly and in detail or it may come back to haunt you…again.

Luckily for us, this week the tabloids have focused on Palin and her family again. this time it is the National Enquirer that shines the unflattering spotlight on the Alaska Disastah. The title of the article is Palin’s Boozy Wild Child and here are some excerpts:

Sarah Palin’s got another Wasilla wild child on her hands  – 15-year-old daughter Willow who’s running with the “wrong crowd”.

Big sister Bristol made headlines with her out-of-wedlock pregnancy, and now Willow has been named as a participant in a teenage booze bash that got out of hand, say sources.

“Willow has been running with the wrong crowd,” confides a friend. “They are a popular high school clique known as the Colony Girls, who are well known as hard partiers and are regularly involved in underage drinking and smoking dope.”

In July 2009, Willow was photographed slamming back a bottle of vodka at a Juneau house party. “Sarah was fuming when that photo of Willow was published,” said the friend.

Her older sister Bristol scandalized her hometown of Wasilla, Alaska, as a dope-smoking underage drinker and party girl. At 17, she announced she was pregnant – by hunky Levi Johnston whose mother was later sent to jail for pushing drugs.

Bristol,  who gave birth to baby Tripp in December 2008, later organized an much ballyhooed advocacy group to prevent teen pregnancy.

Track, meanwhile, has had drug problems in the past, and was addicted to the painkiller OxyContin before shipping off to Iraq.

The former Alaska governor – who ran for vice president on a family values platform – is upset that Willow’s wild behavior could cause her embarrassment as she promotes her new gig as Fox News commentator.

“Right now, Sarah’s trying to sweep the whole thing under the rug,” the source said.

Juicy stuff.


As many of you know, this Tuesday January 19th is the date of the special election to fill Ted Kennedy’s Massachusetts Senate Seat. There has not been a Republican elected to a Massachusetts seat since 1972, but the G.O.P. has gone “All In” on this race and it is presently a toss up. The Democratic Party candidate, Martha Coakley (currently the Massachusetts Attorney General) is clinging to a razor thin lead in the polls but the momentum has swung to the Republican. I cannot overemphasize the importance of this race. Health care reform hangs in the balance. If Martha Coakley does not capture the Senate seat, the Democrats will lose their filibuster-proof 60 votes and the health care reform bill will not survive the Senate vote after reconciliation. Let me repeat, if Martha Coakley does not capture the Senate seat, the Democrats will lose their filibuster-proof 60 votes and the health care reform bill will not survive the Senate vote after reconciliation.

Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off has never asked any of you fellow Rocketeers to make a financial donation of any kind to any cause in the past and we hope that we will never feel the need to do so again. That being said, we are begging you to make a contribution (no matter how small it may be) to the Martha Coakley campaign immediately. The well funded Republican national interest groups are flooding the  Brown campaign with contributions to get out the vote. We owe it to our nation to match their efforts. Please, please, please, please make a contribution today to:

Martha Coakley

Democrat For U.S. Senate

We thank you in advance for your anticipated cooperation,


Today’s song parody explores Sarah Palin’s relationship with the press. Please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along.

Sunday Papers song link:


(sung to the Joe Jackson song “Sunday Papers”)

Palin doesn’t go out anymore
Just sits at home and winks and blinks her eyes
But every weekend through the door
We get to learn what she would like to hide

If you want to know about her daughter on the mattress
If you want to know who SarahPAC are
If you wonder why the Palins are such mad-hatters
You can read it in the Sunday papers, Sunday papers

Sarah’s big hair isn’t hers at all
She watches cartoons when the tv’s on
Whenever Meg Stapleton calls
We’ll know the facts when Sunday comes along

If you want to know why Sarah P. went bonkers
If you want to know where the children are
If you want to know about her donor suckers
You can read it in the Sunday papers, read it in the Sunday papers

Sunday papers answer our questions
Sunday papers expose her lies
Sunday papers She’ll raise objections
Sunday papers God bless those guys

Dinner dates on Ebay now I guess
Will it be Taco Bell or reindeer stew
Palin’s got something against the press
They wouldn’t print it if it wasn’t true

If you want to know how she paid for her kitchen (yeah!)
If you want to know where campaign gifts are
If you want to know the next job that she’ll be quittin’
You can read it in the Sunday papers, read it in the Sunday papers

Sunday papers answer our questions
Sunday papers expose her lies
Sunday papers She’ll raise objections
Sunday papers God bless those guys

Sunday papers answer our questions
Sunday papers expose her lies
Sunday papers She’ll raise objections
Sunday papers God bless those guys

Read all about it, Sunday papers
Read all about it, Sunday papers
Read all about it, Sunday papers
Read all about it, Sunday papers
Read all about it, Sunday papers
(repeat to fade)

Posted on January 16, 2010, in Sarah Palin, Songs and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 20 Comments.

  1. “Any publicity is good publicity.” – Madonna

  2. COURIC: And when it comes to establishing your view on education, I was curious, will any of your children be so uneducated that attending college is out of the question?

    PALIN: most of them, again with a great appreciation for schools, for learning.

    COURIC: Which ones, specifically?

    PALIN: Um, all of them, any of them that have been in front of me all these years.

  3. If there were ever a family that needed a license to breed, I think this one would be it. Next in line for that license would be $P’s supporters.

  4. If George W. Dunderhead has succeeded in lowering the bar for any black-sheep trust-fundian screw-up with a powerful papa in politics to have a clear shot at being leader of the free world, then Sarah has certainly out-limboed the former Commander-in-Puppet by shattering the glass basement for both women and humanity alike.

  5. “she does not read newspapers”

    But she reads these blogs.

    So do her supporters.

    I have this sweet mental image of Sarah abandoning her Governor’s duties at noon just so she could rush home to read “her” blogs.

    • Didn’t you mean, “just so she could rush home and have somebody read ‘her’ blogs to her”?

      • Why, yes I did! (I wish I would’ve thought of that)

        I can imagine Meg and Sarah behind the locked bedroom door.

        Meg: “I’m not reading the blogs for you anymore. You need to learn how to read.”

        Sarah: “Meg, if you don’t read me these blogs, I won’t sign an autograph for your paycheck.”

        Meg; “Well, go eff yourself. I’ll tell everyone the few books you are a fan of are Matchbooks.”

        Sarah: “Hey, tell them that. Most of my fans would rather be unconscious than read a book.”

      • It appears that you were a fly on the wall. Ha Ha.

  6. The more I read about Sarah Palin and her dysfunctional family, her lies, her snarky comments during the campaign, the blame everyone else but herself attitude, the more I know this HillBilly grifter needs to stay away from politics and go back to the wilderness of Alaska. Sarah Palin is dumbing down America, she is out for money and thats it. This women and her drug infested family is a national disgrace, thanks McCain for this ass of a choice. McCain and Palin make me sick!

  7. I wish this Wasilla HillBilly would leave the lower 48 alone. Track her eldest would be in jail now for vandalizing school buses, her kids are all a mess. If Sister Sarah was not the governor she would be consifdered white trailor trash. This women is so uneducated she appals me. Please make this trashy women go away!!!! Everytime I
    see her on TV I want to throw up!

  8. Sarah Palin a fine women of family values?? What?
    Her eldest would be in jail for being on drugs and vandalizing
    school buses, her daughter pregnant, the rest of them running wild, almost mother-in-law in jail, Todd’s sister going to jail for breaking and entering a house to steal money for drugs. Sarah Palin barely
    has a education, doesn’t read, cannot answer a question. She is the laughing stock of America and she thinks she is great! This women is a fool and a moron.

  9. Totally agree. This women, I can see Russia from myhouse is a complete idiot. Everyone knows she is a wasted space and a air head but she still contines to spout her nonsense. Sarah News flash you are a moron and a fool!

  10. Sarah, she doesn’t read, doesn’t look after her kids, doesn’t cook, doesn’t do much of anything but runs around looking for money. She is a grifter, she quits everything and now we have this foolish moron to read about. She is a disgusting person!

  11. Sarah Palin and her family, a bunch of uneducated hicks who are
    grifters from Alaska!!!!!!! Go away idiots!

  12. We have McCain to thank for unleashing this complete moron on us!!!!
    Thanks that he is gone, wish Palin would do the same, but oh no, she is looking for money now while she blames everyone else for her incompetence. Thanks McCain, you old fool!

  13. Hi. I just wanted to say that I hope you feel good, when you mindlessly trash Sarah Palin. I hope that it gives you a warm, fuzzy feeling in your heart, to know that you can be so evil.

    You know… there IS another option.

    • I do not “mindlessly” attack Sarah Palin. All of my remarks are fact based. I will continue to point out all of her shortcomings to everyone that may listen to me, so long as Palin continues to go public with her false representations and inane behavior. This country’s future is to precious to have it threatened by the likes of an uneducated ideologue like Sarah Palin.

  14. Everyone reading this blog who knows anyone in MA of voting age, please make sure they vote in the special election. And not for Palin’s favorite. The country is counting on you. Thanks in advance.

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