Daily Archives: December 23, 2009

Festivus Night Music Byte

Christmas Wrapping” (sometimes misspelled as “Christmas Wrappings” ) is a Christmas song written by Chris Butler and recorded in 1981 by The Waitresses (best known for the song, “I Know What Boys like), featuring vocals by Patty Donahue. It was first released on the 1981 various artists holiday compilation album A Christmas Record on ZE Records. The group also included the track on their 1981 EP I Could Rule the World if I Could Only Get the Parts. It has since been included on numerous holiday compilation albums, including Now That’s What I Call Christmas!: The Signature Collection.

The song was written soon after the birth of rap music in that style, hence the word Wrapping in the title.

The song has had a huge following in the UK although it only reached number 41 in the charts at that time,being played on all the radio stations, both local and national. However in recent years due to it not having a promotional video it has not received as much airplay. The song also became a classic on the Canadian modern rock radio station CFNY-FM and is regularly played during the Christmas season.

The song is narrated from the point of view of a busy single woman who is adamant that she will try to sit-out the exhausting Christmas period, not participating in the traditional Christmas activities (except for making dinner, see below).

She reveals that, during the course of the year, she has attempted to meet up with a man she encountered in a ski shop the previous year. Despite the couple’s attempts to meet, a succession of mishaps conspires to keep them apart.

Finally on Christmas Eve, the protagonist (after stating that A&P provided her with “the world’s smallest turkey”), in her haste to prepare dinner, realizes that she forgot to purchase cranberries. She runs to a local convenience store, and ends up running into the man. In a wild coincidence, he, too, was making dinner and also forgot to buy cranberries. This coincidence hints that the narrator, and therefore the listener, shouldn’t completely abandon their faith in the magic of Christmas.

I have to admit that this is one of my favorite non-traditional Christmas songs.


Walking In A Palin Wonderland

The Twelve (OK, Seventeen) Days of Christmas Song Parodies continues…

We have two short but noteworthy comments to make today. The first is that the Republican Party has once again sunk to the deepest of Hell’s depths on this Holy week. Prior to the Senate’s vote on Monday to advance its version of the health care reform bill, Oklahoma’s Republican Senator (and gynecologist) Tom Coburn asked the American people to pray that someone would die. Here are his exact words,

What the American people ought to pray is that somebody can’t make the vote tonight. That’s what they ought to pray

This type of hypocricy is typical for the Republicans. Here they are calling themselves the “pro-life” party while at the same time asking people to request that God kill somebody merely to prevent them from casting a vote in the Senate. The comment is particularly damning of Coburn, who as a physician, has taken a solemn oath to preserve lives. If God were to pay any attention to that monster, not only would at least one Senator lose his life but so would many of those presently uninsured sick persons who’s lives will be saved by health care reform. Merry Christmas to you too, Mr. Coburn.

Our second item of interest involves our favorite blog subject, Sarah Palin. The former ex-quitting governor of Alaska wrote in her ghostwritten memoir, Going Rogue:

In that first year, I was alerted to threats against Willow by students at her Juneau school, one particularly disturbing. Someone posted a note on an Internet site threatening to gang-rape her at school. I never felt safe for her after that. Later, the same thing happened to Bristol.

That was obviously an indefensible act of violence proposed against two of the governor’s daughters. Palin had every reason to fear for her daughters’ safety and to remove them from their schools if she found the threats to be credible. She also had an obligation to report the threats to the school administration and to local law enforcement agencies, if not to protect her own daughters, then to protect and warn the other students that remained in those schools. Problem is however, it does not appear that Sarah Palin reported the threats to anyone.

The JuneauEmpire.com reports that former Juneau School District Superintendent Peggy Cowan was superintendent during the period in question and said she never heard of such concerns. They also report that Juneau Police Chief Greg Browning similarly said his department has no record of ever being alerted to such threats. Finally, it was also reported that  the Alaska State Troopers provide a security detail for Palin, but trooper spokeswoman Megan Peters said the first they heard about the allegation was from Palin’s book.

This raises the question, just what in the wide, wide world of sports is going on here? Did these threatened gang rapes ever really happen? If so, why did Palin fail to report such a serious situation to any of the proper authorities? If she failed to report the threats in an attempt to protect her daughters’ privacy, then why did she reveal the whole situation in her best selling book? Can anything that Sarah Palin says be believed?

Lastly, as any and all of you self-respecting Seinfeld fans out there already know, today is the holiday of FESTIVUS. You know, “Festivus for the rest of us”. So, without further adieu, Lynnrockets’ Blast-Off would like to wish all of you fellow Rockateers a Merry Festivus!

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s holiday song parody.

Winter Wonderland song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngcAuqshkqE

PALIN BLUNDERLAND

(sung to the Ray Conniff Singers version of “Winter Wonderland”)

Sarah P., are you listening?
Or are you at a Christening?
You are quite a sight
Your hair’s wrapped too tight
Living in a Palin blunderland

Quit your job on July third
You belong where you’re not heard
Go back to Hong Kong
Please take Todd along
Living in a Palin blunderland

You can even bring that “Plumber Joe”, man
He can fly the jet as you leave town

He’ll say, “You still married?”
You’ll say, “No, man!”
But you can have the job
When we touch ground

Later on, you’ll conspire,
To get Tina Fey fired
The price that you paid
To be renegade
Living in a Palin blunderland

Sarah P., are you listening?
Or are you at a Christening?
You are quite a sight
Your hair’s wrapped too tight
Living in a Palin blunderland

You have all the warmth of a fresh snowman
And all the smarts of a circus clown
You sold a book and made a lot of dough, man
It had no verbs but had a lot of nouns

You just love oil well drilling
And your polar bear killing
You frolic and play, the G.O.P. way
Living in a Palin blunderland

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